I hope you like personalities, because I have 6...

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

admittedly I don’t normally like modern shakespeare adaptations but once I went to see my cousin in a midsummer night’s dream and it opened with a high schooler saying “I don’t wanna read this play” so he sits down and eats an entire chipotle burrito on stage and then immediately falls asleep and the play begins but instead of the forest the faeries all hang out in a rainforest cafe TM and at one point in the middle of a scene the guy from the beginning just slowly drifts across the back of the stage on a skateboard, staring at all the characters as the events of the play transpire in the form of some sort of chipotle-induced coma lucid dream

[northisnotup]

THAT is EXACTLY what Shakespeare would have wanted

[relevantlyrambling]

I swear if this isn’t floating around on the internet I’m gonna cry

[cyanideending]

Oh buddy IT’S ABOUT TO BE. I am like, 98% sure this was my high school’s production and I’ve got photos and video clips like craaaazy…

Here are some fun additions… the Mechanicals were also based on the characters of The Breakfast Club (here I am below, eating an actual Captain Crunch and Pixie Stix sandwich on stage.)

…and the one on the longboard was actually our Puck - he rode it through the whole play in the background. Please note his “Forest Cafe” shirt… which we also had logos for on the cups.

…and we had both a flash mob at the end AND an interlude where myself and one of the other Fairies danced to “Sexy and I Know It” while we were cleaning up the tables at the cafe.

I will post more of this later. I have a DVD at my house and will endure cringing at myself to bring you some quality clips… there’s probably one of K eating the burrito before the start of the play, too.

@hullaballoons Here is more Ktown Lore for you 

@cupcakelirry 

[cyanideending]

Here ya go kids… all 2h20m. if you make it through the whole thing once, that’s probably more times than any of the cast watched this DVD. You can probably see why. Tbh if you watch this, I am sorry in advance.

Important notes:

- Chipotle burrito makes a cameo about 30 min in,

- the end has a flash mob and a “commercial” for the Forest Cafe, 

- unfortunately, the lunch scene where all the mechanicals whistle like the Breakfast Club got mostly cut for some reason?

–

@vampireapologist in case you have any interest in reliving this… at the very least you can prove to any doubters that there was, in fact, a Chipotle burrito onstage.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I cannot even fully conceptualize, much less put into words, how wild this chain of events has been.

I have dozens of posts going around that have broken 50,000 notes, and plenty that have broken 100,000.

On every single one of these posts, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of comments and tags calling me a liar and the story fake, but none so much as this post.

This post was my most doubted of all.

And you came in………

with a Two and a Half Hour Long video.

I’ll never forget this.

We have a bond forged in fire and spirit now.

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

losing my shit because my dad was telling me that some country music artist he likes went to the hospital and got high off edibles and made an album that was so far removed from being country music that country music fans of his are having fucking fits about it online but that’s not the strange part, the strange part is that this dude sought out the guy who animated those cool 3d jojo intros from parts 1-3 and that one batman ninja movie (i think his name is junpei mizusaki) and got him to animate a full 40 minute short film set to his new weird album and it looks like fucking

this

[screamingay]

i wasn’t expecting to love this so much?? this dude just like created a new genre i am so impressed. the first music video is out now and on god i am vibing with it so hard

[ordinarytalk]

This fucker just created Cyber Country.

[homebrew-4-you]

So I have been working on this small 5e expansion for a few days. It contains 9 new constructs, a new race, a Cleric Domain and 6 magic items/artifacts. I really hope you like it and I tried really hard to make it relatively detailed.

Remember, if you want to use any of this in your game, remember to ask your DM first and give credit to the creator. Anyway I might not be able to post anything tomorrow as I have a game to host and need to think of some ideas for more Homebrew. There was originally a front cover for this small book but Tumblr wouldn’t let me post it because no more than 10 images. I’ll post the download link for this tomorrow :) That’s all from me today, peace. Actually, here is the link. The website allows you to download the PDF version of it. Where it says Destination, click Save as PDF. Then in “More Settings” change the paper size to “Letter” to remove the white strip of paper at the bottom :) https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/BkrdZu_aV

[homebrew-4-you]

Thought I’d bring this back up! One of my best works :>

[yunhokun-deactivated20161115]

I feel like we need some clarification

[fortunatossoliloquy-archive-blog]

This is a Kimono (Japanese):

This is a Hanfu (Chinese):

This is a Cheongsam (Chinese):

This is a Hanbok (Korean):

Any questions? 

ao dai (vietnamese)

[hellotailor]

THIS POST IS IMPORTANT.

[aliastrench]

It’s interesting to note that that the garments that have a cross over style when worn correctly are all worn with the left breast over the right.

[spaceytears]

That’s because right over left is used for corpses

[princessnijireiki]

https://twitter.com/archeometrie/status/1170031822614474752?s=12

[the-tao-of-fandom]

……..Rock music……..

[zuzuya-a-deactivated20200318]

since i’ve been seeing a lot of invader zim and steven universe crossovers, i thought it would be important to share this with ya’ll, lmao

original video

[magicalcake-deactivated20230604]

THIS IS SO WELL MADE WHAT THE HELL

[weirdmageddon]

spongebob screencaps that have a feeling

[weirdmageddon]

[laxu]

[spongehole]

[anneemay]

@tariqah

[tariqah]

[awkwordalex]

This looks like, and I say this unironically, American Horror Story

[emberdm]

Magic the Gathering: Planeswalkers (Part 2, Ravnican Planeswalkers) v1.00.  D&D 5e Monster Stats Commissioned by King Kassynder

After a long wait, here’s part 2 of the planeswalkers!  Again, all commissioned by Kassynder (for use in his Ravnica campaign).  All five of the planeswalkers to be found in guilds upon Ravnica (admittedly I’m a little disappointed that each guild didn’t get a planeswalker.  Oh well, I’ll just have to imagine my goblin paladin as the Boros planeswalker).

Bonus: Thopters (To go along with Dovin Baan)

Like the previous ones I’m not entirely sure how balanced they are.  Spellcaster type characters tend to be tricky in that regard.  But at the very least I had fun trying to figure out how to bring their abilities into D&D.

Also these aren’t even the end.  I still have a few more planeswalkers I’ve finished the stats of, to upload at a later date.  (Such as Garruk Wildspeaker, Sarkhan Vol, and Tezzeret).

Here’s tokens: 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ||  Monster Commissions  ||  Ko-fi Donations  ||  DMs Guild  || - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[prokopetz]

Fact 1: In most versions of Dungeons & Dragons, when infected – as opposed to natural-born – lycanthropes transform under the full moon, they assume the default alignment of their type during the ensuing mindless rampage.

Fact 2: In most versions of Dungeons & Dragons, the default alignment of werebears is Lawful Good.

Conclusion: When an infected werebear transforms under the full moon, they go on a mindless Lawful Good rampage.

[feebledungeons]

Is that… is that D&D’s version of Batman?

[flavoracle]

“It was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. My family and I had just sat down to dinner when this MASSIVE BEAR suddenly crashes through the door and glares at us. It ran into the kitchen and ripped open the silverware drawer, rummaging through the contents.”

“Turning back at us, it growled. We all fled the table and cowered together in the corner of the room. As it moved to the table, we hoped it would simply eat its fill and then leave us in peace, but it didn’t even touch the food. Instead, the beast furiously rearranged the placement of our utensils, plates, bowls, cups, and even our napkins.”

“After what felt like an eternity, the monstrous bear had finished, and turned to glare at us and give a scornful snort before storming back into the night. As we timidly made our way back to the table, we found that our simple table settings had been replaced with a full formal dinner placement, complete with soup spoons, salad forks, and steak knives. I’ll never forget that Taco Tuesday.”

[flavoracle]

For no reason in particular, I felt like reblogging this old post today :)

[dorrismccomics]

[iguanamouth]

i cant do this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Deleted_articles_with_freaky_titles

[prokopetz]

When modern media wants a group of baddies to look badass, it’ll often borrow design elements from Nazi uniforms. It’s not hard to understand why; the Nazis famously had their uniforms designed by professional fashion designers, including runway mogul Hugo Boss, and it worked wonderfully in terms of giving Nazi troops a stylish and intimidating public image.

What’s less well known, however, is how ridiculously terrible those uniforms were for any purpose other than looking smart.

Let me give you an example: suspenders. Back in the 1930s, the modern tactical harness hadn’t yet been developed. Instead, soldiers would wear a sturdy pair of leather suspenders in order to help distribute the weight of their ammo belts (which could be substantial - bullets aren’t light!). Hitler didn’t care for that - he thought it would make his troops look like farmers. Instead, he commissioned his uniform designers to come up with a complicated system of internal suspenders that could be worn under the uniform jacket, with metal hooks projecting from special holes near the jacket’s waistline. The idea was that the ammo belt would rest on the hooks, thus allowing it to be supported without disrupting the jacket’s clean lines.

The problem? The system’s designers, being accustomed to crafting for the runway, had completely overlooked that soldiers sometimes need to move quickly. At any pace quicker than a brisk walk, the ammo belt would bounce off of the hooks and slide down the wearer’s torso, often tripping him in the process. Worse, news of the issue didn’t filter back to the high command until the uniforms had already been widely distributed, so it was impossible to fix in an economical fashion. The Nazi troops eventually resorted to wearing external suspenders over the internal suspenders in order to keep their ammo belts in place, thus entirely defeating the purpose.

Then there are the cold-weather jackets, made infamous by the Nazis’ disastrous Winter Campaign against Russia in 1941-1942. At the time, the standard cold-weather jacket in use by most armies consisted of heavy quilted fabric stuffed with torn-up cotton. Hitler didn’t like that at all; in his opinion, it made it look like his troops were wearing blankets. So he had each soldier issued an individually tailored winter jacket made of suit-grade fabric and lined with fur (sourced from civilian clothing seized from death camp inmates, because of course it was).

You can probably guess where this is going. Predictably to anyone who’s not a Nazi fashion designer, the fine fabric of the jackets wasn’t tightly woven enough to stop the wind. The fur, meanwhile, harboured lice and fleas, stank abominably when wet, and was impossible to launder in the field. They’d managed to issue their troops dry clean only winter apparel, in a campaign that would send them far from their supply lines. That the weather ended up killing more Nazis than the Russian army should thus come as no surprise.

And these aren’t outliers. Virtually every element of the Nazi uniform made up for its smart styling by being ridiculously impractical. The officers often had it worst of all; their uniforms were expertly tailored to make their builds look trim and powerful, at the cost of being stuffy, uncomfortable, and difficult to move around it. Indeed, some officers’ uniforms were so smartly tailored that they couldn’t sit down without taking their pants off. Yeah, let that image roll around in your head for a moment or two.

The upshot is that whenever I see baddies in a movie or a TV show with clearly Nazi-inspired uniforms, my first thought is less “whoa, badass!” and more “these men are about to be murdered by their own trousers”.

[jewish-privilege]

There is some deeply undignified part of my soul that is taking deep and abiding comfort in this.

[starbiter-deactivated20190325]

some fae facts from lore

‘fae’ range from anything like goblins and imps to the little pixies with the wings that everyone associated with fairies to the seven-foot tall members of the royal courts. some even consider the banshee to be fae. (also trolls, gnomes, elves, djinn, dwarves, leprechauns, will-o-wisps, etc.)

some think the fae are evil, some think they are fallen angels, but most are considered to be a chaotic neutral force. some might call this ‘whimsically evil.’

honey makes them drunk.

iron poisons them, as it does many magical beings.

some were-creatures were probably just fae in disguise, since fae can assume any form.

they sometimes lure humans with music that makes them want to follow and dance. they have to dance for what feels like a year and a day but it actually only seconds.

true names of the fae have power over them. they often use aliases when dealing with non-fae.

some people are gifted with fae sight, which allows them to see the fae and also sometimes peeks into the future through their dreams.

cats hate the fae, and the fae hate them back. 

iron horseshoes over the door can act as a fae deterrent.

they sometimes kidnap human children and leave their own children or elderly behind. these are called changelings.

fae are generous with gifts, especially for polite people, but prefer gifts in return.

that being said, better to avoid accepting gifts. you probably don’t have enough to pay them back. by saying ‘thank you,’ you acknowledge that a gift was given and that you now owe something in return. being indebted to the fae = bad time

fae can’t lie, but truth and honesty aren’t always the same.

asking for a favor will cause offense. make it seem like it’s their idea to help you.

most things offend them, actually.

some fae can smell a lie. there’s no way of knowing which ones unless they tell you.

fae use ‘glamour’ to hide their appearance or habitations around humans. ‘glamour’ can be gifted for use by humans.

it’s better for fae to have half-breed children than no children at all, so relationshops with humans are fine. it just rarely works out fine for the human.

[badacts]

dudes who accuse films like captain marvel of teaching young girls to hate men have no idea that literally no one and nothing is more effective at making girls hate men than men

[badacts]

this is now my most popular post and i haven’t so far seen a single dumbass attempted rebuttal so i’m feeling pretty good about it tbh

[thewatchercleric]

*about a healing potion being administered via slaad butthole*

Warlock: Would this be considered tossing his slaad?

[bard-like]

fellow DMs listen to me.

if one or more of your players roll to seduce: own it. It’s world building. It’s character building. Sex ain’t a free action. Bring that fucker to the bedroom. Think about your NPC’s sexual traits. Roll dexterity. Make your players roll constitution saves. Give them challenges. If they don’t please the beast, go praying mantis on them. What’s weaker than a bard? A naked bard. Their AC has now been hella dropped. Maybe they succeed and all is well, but that displacer beast is clingy and keeps encountering the party.

So the next time some smug players seduces your encounter, you smirk and you turn the tables on them. :)

[bard-like]

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL BIG DUNGEON ENERGY

[zintersoldier]

white person: *eats chicken tikka masala once* i just…. i feel so connected… to indian culture …. I’m learning to speak islam…. check out my third eye….. chakra

[teaboot]

Every time I see this. Every damn time. I’m immediately sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. “Hit the gong to begin class”, “Namaste, Children”, “I wanna go backpacking in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum circle” ass bastard. “Do you want to share your poetry with the class to get in touch with your emotions” ass fucker. Mr. “Here’s a photograph of a tribal shaman, describe him using nature words” asshole. Pretentious-ass, condescending motherfucker. “Do you want to tell us about your saddest memory?” “I dunno, sir. Are you giving me an option?” “No.” “Then why are you asking” Every goddamn day. Fuck. “You seem tense.” Oh, I seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor Pillsbury, maybe I ‘seem tense’ because I walk into a room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with some shit like “a tree……… Is a Poem” and I gotta sit here and politely tell you that No I’m Not Comfortable Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe I don’t wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from Computer Sciences to “align our auras” or some shit. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing ‘kumbaya’ with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair who writes bad porn on the side, I’d go out to the parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the disgraced electrician. What, I don’t wanna do an interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens and suddenly I’m the 'troubled youth’ you need to Robin Williams “O Captain My Captain” your way into having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking Christ. You insufferable jackass. You’re not “Enlightened”, you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking Balls