[jungleland sax solo]

mar . 25 . butch dyke . any pronouns . tme . buy a trans girl a burger today!

[ot3]

a couple of people on that last post are like 'i had to stop when i reached the point where i didnt know what was going on' and i always legit forget that insane shit happening that the audience can't understand yet is gonna be a turnoff for a lot of people. i have a real "lets see where the dog is going with this one" ethos in how i approach media and it has been nothing but a boon. how do you ever expect to find something that really blows you away if you tap out as soon as you're in uncharted territory.

[strawberry-crocodile]

god i do love recovering genetic supersoldiers as a metaphor for transfemininity and my fuckin life. oh your developmental years you were constantly told your value is power and violence? your body is big and threatening and feels Wrong somehow? youre terrified of your own capability to hurt others? me too bitch the fuck

[krasnoarmeyets]

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

[thememedaddy]

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[the-haiku-bot]

i would settle for

melatonin gummies but

well. knock yourself out

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[parkchanwoohoo]

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[lesbian-moon-gf]

Girl you are an obligate carnivore

[humedetector]

but her appel

[fexalted]

[image description: photo of a black cat sitting under a car, holding an apple in its mouth.]

[preserving-tiktok]

[itsyveinthesky]

[seabassapologist]

[penismage]

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[brainrockets]

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

[mwagneto]

im actually fucking obsessed with this twitter account that's trying to prove that every celebrity and politician who exists is transgender like conservatives are truly fucking insane... the only thing this proves is that any method transphobes have of "clocking" trans people is completely useless LMFAO warning for transphobia obviously

[cipher-fresh]

Honest to god I’d rather this be the permanent end of the doctor who revival than have it written by RTD or Pete McTighe again

[astrotheyge]

"The hearts of men are easily corrupted." Wake Up Dead Man (2025) & Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Bonus for @mykingdomforasong:

[animentality]

[jay--hawk]

there should be a rule u can’t get stressed for 30 minutes after u wake up. i just woke up. spawn invincibility please.

[werewolfoffeverswamp]

my sister and her husband go see new movies a lot and a place near the theater they go to does $5 margaritas on monday so they’ve started doing marg movie mondays where they go see a movie and get a marg but they call the margaritas different things based on what they’re seeing. as far as naming goes “wuthering margs” was a little bit of a miss for me but it was preceded by “margipliers” when we saw iron lung so thats kind of a lot to live up to

[digitalmyyth]

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien