Sam ✨

be good, and if you can’t be good, be careful

[theprofessional-amateur]

Do we count this as a passive rickroll?

link to post

[swordofwit]

A very important addition from Rian Johnson himself

[kermitlesbian]

when I was in high school my dad was speeding like crazy because I was running late to my job at the cemetery. and the cop who pulled him over gave him three whole tickets because who the hell goes 95 in a 25??? but then, when my dad went to court the cop didn’t show, and so the judge looked over at the charges and just couldn’t believe it. he thought the cop must’ve been so racist that he made it up because who the hell goes 95 in a 25? so my dad got all 3 tickets dismissed bc of racism. that he didn’t even experience because he was in fact going 95 in a 25.

[kermitlesbian]

to clarify. my dad used to be a cab driver in ny and he also grew up in india so he just drives like a dickhead.

[ooppo]

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

[the-infinite-casmos]

[ooppo]

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

[ooppo]

Ohhhh yeah

[despazito]

[halrax]

Worth noting that Einstein‘s final words were in German to a nurse who didn’t speak it, and so you technically can’t disprove this to be the case.

[blumineck]

Why did archers lie down mid-battle?

I just learned about this, and it’s such a cool and interesting technique! So different from the Westernised view of archery.

Please support me on Patreon if you like this stuff (and you’re able to). There are tutorials, art refs, and more there too

[kinaco-cat]

こども用ソファで猫じゃらししてたら、とんでもない瞬間が撮れてしまった。ポーズもすごいがアニメみたいな顔になってる…。

[bunjywunjy]

god every time I think I’ve seen all the cat material the internet has to show something new and absolutely delighting appears

[batneko]

[cringing]

do you know what literally drives me up the fucking wall?

[cringing]

[animentality]

[cutekittenlady]

This is yet another thing I thought Pratchett had made up but turned out to be totally real.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Unrelated but any time someone mentions clown makeup I'm reminded of how highly successful stage magician Penn Jillette almost flunked out of clown college and had to take remedial clown makeup classes.

[cuprohastes]

My father was a magician and a clown. When he died, we cleared out his old clotehs and there was his clown suit.

"Oh I'll take this down to the charity shop" said my mother, missing hte part where no sane person is going to wear a clown suit.

"Nah" said I, "Have them dress him in it when they cremate him."

There was a pause and my throw-away joke started to slowly solidify into 'Yeah let's do that'.

A discussion was had with the mortician who had a bit of a worry that the costume would involve giant clown shoes which would prevent the coffin closing.

Luckily it wasn't that sort of outfit.

I told this to my dear friend who immediately envisaged someone trying to close a coffin onto a dead clown, only to have the big red nose go *Sad honk* every time there was an attempt to close the lid.

The awful hilarity rendered her incapable of standing.

[whumpster-fire]

The poor mortician can't figure out why it still won't close, and has to remove 5 dead clowns from the coffin before it finally shuts.

[five-rivers]

One of those "teachers are evil for wanting kids to say something before going to the bathroom" posts is going around and of course I can't say anything about it without being labeled one of those evil teachers. I want to gnaw on the furniture.

[five-rivers]

A bunch of people are bringing up school shootings and other emergencies, and those are super important, but I have to be honest, most of the time my concerns are more mundane. I just want to put them down here in the hope that it will help with understanding, since these are daily concerns rather than big tragedies that most people don't regularly face.

Like, the main job of a teacher is to teach. It's hard to effectively teach a group if a big chunk of the group isn't there (which is why I currently have the policy of letting anyone who needs to go during the warm up phase go as long as they check in), so that's usually my primary concern. Who's heard the activity instructions, who I have to repeat them to, stuff like that. Sometimes if the student waits just one more minute I don't have to repeat the instructions. Most teachers in my hall only let out 2-3 students at a time because there are only 8 bathrooms and there can be up to 6 classes running at a time, and none of us want students waiting in line when we've got such a short time to teach. That's what I'm usually concerned about.

Then there's mundane safety stuff. If a student is out of class for 15 minutes I send someone to check on them. About 75% of the time, the student is just vibing out, but the remaining 25% of the time there's a Problem. Sometimes the problem is 'dating drama' or 'forgot a pad,' but other times it's 'puking their guts up' or 'tripped and gave themselves a concussion plowing into the stall divider.' But for me to keep track of the time like that, I need to know when they left, and that means I need to actually acknowledge when they leave. I used to just ask them to tell me when they were going, but too many students didn't actually get my attention and tell me and just mumbled something in my general direction before leaving.

Maybe other teachers have other reasons for how they organize this kind of stuff. But the 'evil teacher obsessed with control of bathroom time' is, in my personal experience, an anomaly, not the norm.

[violetutterances]

I wish Mythbusters was still around so we could see them fuck up a Cybertruck

[actuallycuteanimals]

remember if you hate sharks this is who you're hating

i mean look at him. how could you hate him. he doesn't even know what taxes are

source

[eebie]

Found an insane baby picture

[eebie]

Dude

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[garaks-padded-bra]

Guy on metro had a shitty little dog who spent 20 minutes untying his laces and waiting patiently with his nose 3 millimeters away for them to be re-tied before wreaking havoc again. Over and over. Owner did not care. Dogs name was Quentin.

[oneheadtoanother]

[stranger-nights-ahead]

It's important to me that everyone knows that standard practice is to literally count all the pollen that is collected from a cubic meter of air. Manually. With a microscope.

Someone is actually literally counting the pollen

[hellooocaffeine]

I love science

[benepla-deactivated20180521]

male entitlement in academic spaces is so boring. can’t tell you how many times i’ve been in a class and a girl gives a short, insightful analysis, and then a dude raises his hand and says “jumping off of that…” then says literally the same thing she said but longer and worse.

[zurizaldun-deactivated20241104]

I hate to be that guy, but it doesn’t just happen to women. The assholes who do that will do that to anyone who’s analysis isn’t sufficiently complex and long winded for them. 

Been done to me by people of both genders. 

Also I have been guilty of doing this, so I apologize. Because I was overly excited and just couldn’t wait to talk…. yeah. 

(Nothing is ever clear cut eh….) 

[benepla-deactivated20180521]

dude.

[221cbakerstreet]

this is art

[korra-of-the-watertribe]

#a fun fact about tumblr is that if you dare to complain about a mundanely frustrating type of person#that exact type of person will appear in your notes as if summoned via a ouija board

[alacerlucifer]

[electricbreeze]

Schrödinger’s boys

[klubbhead]

FUCK

[alphahoennomega]

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

[crystalsoulslayer]

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

[6qubed]

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town