Of Babs and Bears

I’m tired and aging/24

[bathroomcube]

[wormsermonizer]

🍔🐻

[lackeyhenchman]

I don't know. I just don't know

[perenial]

everyone's masc til they have to put on the customer service voice

[mercuryfountain-deactivated2024]

Women light up the world. That's why it's called Broad daylight.

[wintercorrybriea]

[gredta]

[breadbank-deactivated20240125]

[princess-okkotsu-deactivated202]

I needed that second pic

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

ohhh don;t mind ol turnip. just restin the eyes

[pizzamafiaart]

Soda Pop: A highly carbonated soda drink. It can be used to restore 50 HP to a single Pokémon.

[pitbolshevik]

[pacificrim-archive]

[rocketmermaid]

Giant isopods are so cool but what’s with the sexy funk music

[hussainthemvp]

most sexual motherfucker in the ocean. 

[mousegirlheart]

Oh strawberry... We're really in it now...

[beadyeyes]

Fruit and vegetable matter is also eaten sometimes.

[trollitics]

[classicalmonoblogue]

Apparently the dude who runs the crematorium is just fundamentally confused about how advertising works. He actually thought that the way you made an ad was you found a picture that got people’s attention … and then also included information about your company. He was genuinely surprised and baffled when people thought there was any relationship between the (independently nonsensical) captioned image and his cremation business. There were two more ads in the series that are equally, just… so much…

_______________________________________________________________

[cornerof5thandvermouth]

this is somehow incredibly effective tbh

[memix]

Petition for all advertisements to be shitposts from now on

[sigmaleph]

“I was just trying to get people to stop for a second and see the picture, and then my company’s name. That was it,” Oliver King tells the Riverfront Times. “The two are not supposed to be related, except that’s my daughter and my company.”

For some inexplicable reason, not everyone understood that distinction. “I got people calling and complaining, like, ‘Are you going to kill her? Is she going to kill someone?’ ” says King. “I couldn’t believe that went somewhere in their minds that they thought that was what I was trying to say.”

(source)

on the one hand, i guess ads for cremation services must be a tricky thing to keep on theme without being too depressing/morbid/etc, so I can see how “just grab their attention with anything, doesn’t have to be related” would be an appealing advertising strategy.

on the other, i am fascinated by how someone who runs a crematorium “couldn’t believe” that people would associate their business with, uh, death.

[jame7t]

my stupid thighs hurt from doing squats

[unlimitedtrees]

[jame7t]

Fish stapler Monday

[membraneshock]

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

[fuckyeahcoelacanths]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[machine-saint]

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

[madnessofmen]

wait it gets better

[lemonylai]

Two degrees, huh? Sounds impressive

Maybe not if the first one isn’t being utilized 🥲.

Thank you, though