In 2013 @lesliebwrites and I went to Paris. We did the tourist bit--went to the Catacombs, got lost in the Louvre, felt ready to behead some royalty at Versailles--you know--the typical tourish shtick.
Now, I have a cane and use it (mostly for stability because vertigo, arthritis, and hypermobility are the fall-risk trifecta I do not wish on anyone). Additionally, I have allergy and food intolerances which make eating an adventure in what is going to be digested and what isn't. So accordingly, I had my state-issued Handicapped parking placard and a note from my doctor explaining my need for accommodation. When I travel in the states, this is usually more than enough (ADA doesn't even require these steps but it does make things easier.)
At the time, most of the places we went to in Paris did not have disabled toilets and it was a crapshoot (literally) if there would be a working toilet at all. (Note: The worst toilet/bathroom I have ever been in was in Paris. And I have traveled the American Southwest, rural south, and the back ass end of nowhere Applachia, and I have seen many a gas station and truckstop bathroom. You know the scene were Alex from the Mummy Returns goes to the toilet on the train? Yeah, this was worse-- complete with shit smears on the walls.) So when Leslie and I got to the Pompidou, we were pleasantly surprised to see an actual clean/working bathroom complete with a disabled stall.
So we decided, as you do, to use the facilities before wandering around the huge modern art museum. Since there were only 2 stalls total including the disabled stall and there was a line about 10 people deep, people were using whichever stall opened up first. But not me. It was near the end of our trip and I was feeling fairly unsteady, so I opted to use the disabled stall even though the non-disabled stall opened up first. Now remember, I have my cane with me -- this will be important later.
As I'm using the bathroom, I hear a small ruckus in the sink area of the bathroom. But the people are speaking French and while I can parse out very basic written French (thank you Spanish), I can't really understand spoken French. Especially colloquial French. So I ignore it.
Then, there's a banging on the door of the stall.
Thinking that the person is checking to see if there's anyone in the stall, I say. "It's occupied..." or at least I hope I say that.
The person on the other end says something but I don't understand them.
Then there's another bang on the door. This one fairly metallic. Like metal on metal rather than flesh on metal.
I'm still using the toilet, so I concentrate on trying to finish quickly.
When I finish, I pull myself together. Make sure the toilet flushes fully. And open the door.
On the other side, there's a short woman about a decade or so older than me using a cane. The cane is held upright in her hands like she's about to club me over the head with it. She opens her mouth to say something, then looks down...
I swear underwent the full gamut of emotions in a second -- anger, chagrin, guilt, apologetic, embarrassed... The latter of which wasn't helped by the chuckles and murmurs coming from the other people who had watched this go down. Eventually she said something before darting into the stall.
I could see Leslie waiting for me by the sinks, an amused smirk on her lips. Because she was thinking the same thing I was: This woman had barged through the line to get to the disabled stall -- which okay sometimes you need to go -- but when she found the stall occupied, she started berating me and pounding at the door to try to get what she thought was an abled person out of the stall. The fact that someone else might be disabled never crossed her mind.
And to be honest, even if I hadn't had my cane that day I would have still been disabled and still needed to use the disabled stall because of the higher seat and the handrails.
You can't tell if someone is disabled or not. You just can't. You can't know, nor should people have to disclose, their disabilities. But my story and people's reactions of "it's okay to use it if no one else needs it..." shows that there's a disconnect and it can leave disabled people frustrated to the point where they can't comprehend that there are other disabled people...
So my answer is nuanced... check first. Don't use it just because you like bigger stalls. And in general, leave them open even if there's a line.
I was in a rest area along one of the interstates... I think it was in Pennsylvania but don't quote me on that... and again there was a line. And for the most part, people left the disabled stall open. If someone really needed to go, they asked the line. And people let parents with small children go first and they often used the disabled stall. As a disabled person, I didn't have an issue with it.
It's nuanced and situational dependent. But in the end, what we really need is for all stalls to be disabled friendly and for there to be more accessible and public bathrooms... period.
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