Breakfast Gone Wrong Starters
"Are eggs supposed to bleed?"
"You are such a child. Stop making the banana into a dick."
"I know we've been having some issues, but buying sugar free syrup is going a bit too far."
"Will you stop letting your conquests stay overnight? We can't afford to keep feeding people!"
"Why is there puke on this plate-- Oh. Eggs."
"My pancake is black. Like, goth kid wardrobe black."
"How do you fuck up making a waffle?"
"I'm going to pretend you did not just say the words 'breakfast stew.'"
"I don't care if it tastes like Satan's balls, the kids made breakfast and you will eat it."
"Buy your own damn cereal and stop stealing mine!"
"Ah... Yeah, your pancake art looks... great. I think."
"You're not supposed to put hash in hash browns!"
"Your roommate just passed out in their cereal."
"Did someone piss in the coffee machine?!"
"I wouldn't call the milk chunky. More of a solid."
"I know I made a real mess last time, but listen, I kept the batter off the ceiling this time!"
"I'm pretty sure that smoothie is radioactive."
"Why would you even make this many pancakes?"
"All we have left are some crackers and beer. Eat up."
"One strip of bacon left--"
"Do you know how to get flaming toast out of the toaster?"
"I found you curled up in the shower trying to eat an omelet. That drunk."
"Tequila is not a part of a balanced breakfast!"
"Do they deliver pizza this early? Because I am not feeling it."
"You just-- You just poured ranch all over your eggs."