THAT BITCH

Woke up at 2 pm • Went to sleep at 4 am Wattpad: @cpvdm_ (FanFiction) Instagram: @St.everydom (edits)

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

Red white and royal blue?

I’m sorry, did you mean red white and a royal pain in my ass?

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

I’m just saying that b99 got so much better after they allowed them to swear and bleeped it out

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

Are they... you know... ac/dc?

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

Hermes has heelys probably

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

For the last day of senior year, the seniors are dressing up for school. One guy is wearing a perry the platypus costume while blasting Perry’s theme song

I have yet to seen Doofenshmirtz

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

A vampire, but in reverse. Everybody stays the same age and only you age.

[queeranarchism]

Fun fact: in the 80′s the Dutch Unemployed Union held ‘fridge raids’ to protest against poverty. 

They’d find out when a politician of big boss who upheld poverty and starvation wages was speaking at some public even, then they’d carefully break into his house with a LOT of people and they would eat EVERY piece of food in his house and leave the empty dished behind without taking anything else. 

[gottamoveonup-deactivated201612]

Direct action at its finest.

[themasterplanner]

I theoretically disapprove, but at least it’s ballsy as fuck.

[themasterplanner]

I no longer disapprove.

[thebroccoligoblin]

Growth

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

why is it, that everytime i learn something new about my country it becomes more rad?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the GRINCH X TONY THE TIGER Fanfic is live on ao3! hope this causes you all tremendous distress 😘

monthly subscribers can skip ahead to the next chapter

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

actual real things about this fic:

the Grinch is nonbinary & uses they/them pronouns

the Grinch is autistic

it takes place in the Jim Carrey movie universe, so the Grinch has two lesbian moms

(side note, in the movie it was implied the grinch was conceived at a swinger’s holiday party, but we don’t have to talk about that)

tony was a professional athlete who had a lucrative career appearing on cereal boxes

tony the tiger is divorced w/ kids

the Grinch is in therapy

[wereallcurioushere12]

I am sending this to all my friends gaud.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

there are over 300 comments on the fic so far, and i’m reading all of them, and i have to say my favorite comments on the ones where people are sharing this with family and friends. sometimes out of spite, sometimes earnestly. 

thank you for spreading me around like the invasive fungus i so truly am

[media-sickos-international]

I submitted it to my english teacher (our assignment was to find a well written work to share on the internet)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

…I am absolutely frothing at the mouth to know your teacher’s response please

[media-sickos-international]

this is it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this was beyond my wildest dreams actually much thanks

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

UPDATE:

i am having the BEST month

[tooweirdfortheworld]

I’m dying I was not prepared for this

[media-sickos-international]

hey I just wanted to mention the fact that this was a catholic school. just in case this wasn’t wild enough already. the disciplinary officer was a fucking nun

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i am now feral. i have gone feral. i am leaning a little pile of stick again a tree, soon i will nap beneath them, they will collapse on me during the next rainstorm

[eh-fandomtrash]

I’m sorry.  Getting a nun to read THE Tony the Tiger x Grinch Fanfic is the best thing ever.  This person wins at life.  Game over.  We have all lost to the person who got a nun to read that fic.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

A NUN WAS FORCED TO READ MY CRACK FIC I AM A BROKEN BEING

[headmistressbandita]

I wish anything could provide me with as much joy as gaud experiences upon discovering that a nun read their crack fic. 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

joy? JOY you say???? ma'am, this is HYSTERIA

[velveteencosmocrat]

This is going down in internet history, it fucking better

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and on that note, I have one FINALLY thing to add & then I’m going sleep to lie in bed foaming at the mouth

[shyjusticewarrior]

Julie and the Phantoms Incorrect Quotes Pt. 6

Reggie: Ok, two person huddle!

Alex: You can’t huddle with two people, this is just a hug.

Caleb: "Revenge"? That sounds dishonorable.

Willie: Oh, thank God! So you're not going to-

Caleb: I prefer to call it "returning the favor."

Reggie: Okay, so what do you guys think about this song? *starts playing Luke's acoustic* It's fun to run, it's fun to play, it's fun to make things out of clay, it's fun to fill your car with gas, it's fun to brreaak things made of glaaass... But broken glass can cut your hand, and then you'll bleed across the land-

Luke: We're not doing that!

[...]

Reggie, strumming the guitar again: Oh broken glass is not a food, so don't you listen to some dude who says 'put cheese on broken glass and make a ~sandwich~ out of broken glaaass!'

Alex: What is wrong with you?

Julie: I like it.

Julie: It's a mental breakdown

Flynn: *off key kazoo playing*

Reggie: How do lawyers argue without crying?

Julie: Why are Luke and Reggie sitting with their backs facing each other?

Alex: They had a fight.

Julie: Then why are they holding hands?

Alex: They get sad when they fight.

Reggie: Why is my underwear in the freezer?

Alex: You said “this is gonna confuse me so much tomorrow.”

Luke: Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

Reggie: That explains so much.

Alex: I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

It’s what I like to see...

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

I don’t want to fucking know about you guys in the papers. Jesus... Instagram is enough, don’t infect the Dutch papers guys.

Btw: verdeelde Staten means Divided States. Thought that was a neat pun.

[mishavacado]

So I may have a Type and it’s her

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

I just wanna say that technically Jack is Gen Z and NOT a millennial like Dean said but whatever.

[destiel-is-real-idgaf]

And just how is Dean Winchester supposed to explain to a complete stranger that the depressed frat bro who lives rent-free in his underground bunker is a 3-year-old without outing him as Lucifer's spawn?

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

Touché, my friend. Touché..,

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

I just wanna say that technically Jack is Gen Z and NOT a millennial like Dean said but whatever.

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

Natural selection has come for Trump

[dean-and-sam-says]

Supernatural family plays “Among Us”

Everyone sits in the library to play- Sam has triple checked the strength of their wifi (with Charlie’s help) to make sure that none of them will be losing connection any time soon, and since there’s enough of them- they play in a private server. They also stick to the Skaal map.

Dean is Blue, Sam is Cyan, Castiel is Yellow, Mary is Pink, Charlie is Orange, Crowley (who plays begrudgingly but is 100% into it and won’t admit it) is Black, Jack is White, Rowena is Purple, Claire is Green, and Chuck (who wasn’t invited but insists on playing so they let him anyway since they need 10) is Red. (Also why aren’t there more colors on tumblr mobile smh)

They don’t use the chat box in voting because they’re all in the same room so there’s kinda no need.

Jack, Claire, and Dean call literally everyone “sus” whether they are or not, they’re just way to suspicious of everyone else.

Sam is always the first to finish his tasks. He’s also okay with being the first one everyone kills because being a ghost is more efficient since you can go through the walls. Dean never finishes his tasks because he’s too busy trying to figure out who the imposter is stating “you’ll thank me later when we win” and never ends up figuring it out first.

Rowena has the bests arguments and could convince anyone she’s not the impostor, even if she was, and makes convincing cases that someone else is. She’s never caught ever.

Charlie and Mary are the worst imposters because they’ll either accidentally vent in front of someone else and can’t catch up to kill the witness or end up being seen killing someone else. Dean often teases her because she’s “a badass hunter but can’t make decent kills in a video game”. Mary argues that they’re two very different things. Charlie usually gets carried away trying to be really sneaky, but has won a few games by sabotaging the o2.

Castiel has accidentally thrown a few games because, next to Sam, he’s one of the first to be killed and will get offended that he was killed so he’ll verbally accuse whoever did it- giving away the whole game. He’s also definitely said “how do I vent like dean just did”.

Dean is actually a pretty good imposter, he makes kills in drive by fashion and lets someone else report it.

Crowley self reports 80% of the time, he’s also a pretty good imposter. He mostly lies in wait in the vents by electrical.

Jack and Claire team up even though no one is supposed to talk to communicate outside of voting. Jack also caught Claire as the imposter but instead of ratting her out he helped her kill everyone else. They had been sitting next to each other at the time and Sam had to split them up after figuring out that’s what they were doing.

Chuck has only been imposter once, and is usually voted off quick since he can’t ever come up with a good alibi even if he’s innocent. He almost won the round where he was impostor but accidentally vented in front of Castiel and Mary, he was able to kill Cas but Mary called the emergency meeting.

They literally all say “where” one after the other, except the actual adults (ie Rowena, Crowley, and Mary) despite being in the same room.

The most epic chase was when Sam was impostor. He accidentally vented in the lower engine but everyone came from the hall above so he ran and of course everyone followed. Knowing he was caught, he stopped in storage and turned around and murdered someone at random, which ended up being Dean, as a final act of chaos before being voted off.

Charlie likes to hide in comms in the upper left hand corner and then kill whoever comes in.

They tried to play a different map once but got horribly lost, except dean who took advantage when he was the imposter and killed everyone.

Dean, Crowley, and Chuck favor the light sabotage. Sam, Mary, Jack, and Castiel favor the o2 sabotage. Charlie and Rowena favor the reactor sabotage. Claire hardly ever uses the sabotages and usually ends up just relying on killing everyone.

Longest impostor streak was three rounds in a row and it’s held by Castiel. No one suspected him a single one of those rounds.

Also Castiel is that one that gets away with it by not talking and just keeping to himself. He’s lowkey proud of that.

Crowley picks on Dean and convinces everyone else that Dean is the impostor, even though he hardly ever actually is. Everyone votes Crowley next but he’s hardly ever the impostor either- he just does it to mess with Dean.

Sam gets a guilty pleasure out of haunting whoever killed him. He usually starts the “ghost cult”. Provided he’s done with his tasks of course.

Claire started a “f in the chat” for Castiel the first time he was a victim.

They arrange weekly “Among Us” game nights on Fridays.

Dean has said “that guy is sus” on more than one occasion when working a case.

Jack decided everyone should were tee-shirts that matches with their preferred colors. Dean and Sam and Castiel made sure that happened.

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

This is adorable

[yougiveagirlallsortofnastyideas]

Watch "Dean Winchester ◊ Hustler" on YouTube

𝘓𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘪𝘵

𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵

𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘶𝘮𝘣 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘯𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘴

𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘺, 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘐 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘱

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘐 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩

𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩

𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘐 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘱

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱, 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱, 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘐 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵

𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘱

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

[letsyeetthiswheat666]

Just.. watch this entire thing