like dead onions

is this the meme life?? or is this irony~~

[kit-harington]

[lumberjackmack]

i’m so glad someone made this. cause i damn sure never understood

[jeyawue]

“where are you right now?!”

“I’M AT SOUP!”

“which store are you in?!”

“I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!”

“WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE??!!”

“FUCK YOU!!!”

[scully]

[penisennui]

[livinmokotory]

adhdalistair:

penisennui:

(via Justin Jorgensen) “In 2007 I worked with photographers Williams + Hirakawa to create a concept piece of me sleeping on a sheet cake. I though these cakes looked like pillows, and there’s the obvious play on ‘sweet dreams.’

I wondered if I could fall asleep on a cake and have sweet dreams. I didn’t. It was pretty gross really and wasn’t easy to wash off.

A few years later, outtakes from the shoot were sold to Getty Images as stock photos. I didn’t know this until 2011 when one of those photos made #13 on the wildly popular Buzzffed.com list of “60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos.”

Into 2014, the Getty Image photo continues to make the rounds on Facebook and Tumblr.”

[skylorde]

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

[itsbetterthananal]

APPARENTLY PEOPLE NOT USING THE CROSSWALK TO CROSS THE ROAD BY MY SCHOOL HAS BEEN A PROBLEM RECENTLY SO THE SCHOOL SHOWED THIS THIS MORNING ICAN T BREATHE

[vixen-elixir]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[nightmareloki]

/SCREAMING

[thesylverlining]

oh god I thought it was going to be some messed-up graphic cautionary thing like they show of accidents in drivers’ ed

i’m so glad this went in a completely unexpected direction

[damianmcgintleman]

everyone talks about the folgers coffee incest commercial but remember the quizno’s commercial where the guy was fucking the toaster oven?

[mslockheart]

what the fuck

[flyawaymax]

what the fuck

[stability]

[sugarblaster]

guy I know from college as 50 Shades of Grey

i’m done.

[iraffiruse]

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

this is probably one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen.

[nicejewishguy]

Wtf is sephora

It sounds scary

[starcades]

isn’t that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy

[venatus]

no your thinking of sephiroth, a sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels

[punlich]

No you’re thinking of a Seraph

A sephora is a second year college or high school student

[one-eyed-pom]

No, you’re thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself.

[lethalneuroses]

no, you’re thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze.

[waffle-sorter]

No, you’re thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.

[leeshajoy]

You’re thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices.

[animatedamerican]

You’re thinking of Safari.  Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar.

[hhertzof]

You’re thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time’s intrusions into our realm.

[rareandradiant-maiden]

No, you’re thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.

[jewishdragon]

No, you’re thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt. 

[osheamobile]

No, you’re thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin’.

[jeremywhitley]

No, you’re thinking of Sappho.

Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.

[optimysticals]

No, you’re thinking of Zeppo.

Sephora is the Heimdall’s sister.

[flatbear]

No no no guys, you’re thinking of Sif. Sephora is a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora.

[corruptinnocent]

No, you’re thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness.

[emceescabaret-deactivated201812]

No, you’re thinking of euphoria. Sephora’s a fucking makeup store you dipshits.

[godbriel-deactivated20190715]

i love tumblr

[connyhascontrol]

I’m kinkshaming all of Germany

[lord-brixie]

Is it better or worse if I tell y'all that “Nüsse” means “nuts”

[humming-bird-moth]

Dicke means Fat or Thick

[yeeowch]

this post only gets worse

[teriyaki-bastard]

Merry fucking Christmas my dad accidentally bought me a crate of hentai because he thought it was anime. Theres 55 fucking dvds in this box. What a time to be alive

[vinebest]

[forces-of-eruri]

Ok lawl

[dipterrah]

caption: girl: Dad, I just made a milkshake! dad: Not again… dad: *going outside with a broom to a group of boys* Alright, cmon boys, get outta here! boys: *groan and leave*

[pyrolight521]

If you don’t get the joke, you haven’t heard the song.

[fed-detector-deactivated2018030]

this is objectively funny

[flyawaymax]

fuck i only have 151 hours left on this i better charge it quick

[hardollarsign]

do you have a fucking nuclear generator as your battery

[just-shower-thoughts]

I don’t hate Christmas. I hate how stressed and irritable it makes everyone else, and how generally unpleasant it is to be around others because of that.

[itsagifnotagif]

I am deceased

[zumainthyfuture]

[madness-and-gods]

That carrot sounds really good

[freshiebyoung]

I’ve spent hours trying to play instruments and this guy just whittles up a carrot and kills it

[the-man-who-sold-za-warudo]

smooth carrot for your soul