lgbtqiap advice

hello! this is a blog made and run by lgbtqiap+ people, for lgbtqiap+ people!

[guiltyidealist]

It’s cool if you 100% fit the bill for a certain label, but prefer not to use it or be referred to with it. You’re not required to adopt any labels.

It’s also cool if you don’t 100% fit the bill for a certain label, but prefer to use it and be referred to with it. You’re not required to fit perfectly into any one mold set for you.

It’s also, also cool if you create your own label that does 100% fit you and prefer to use it and be referred to with it. You’re not required to try to make yourself fit into the existing molds if they don’t fit comfortably for you.

[ithelpstodream]

[glitterz]

Omg rly ??

[ithelpstodream]

yes! really!

translifeline.org

US: [phone]

CANADA: [phone]

Pacific time: 8am to 2am

Mountain time: 9am to 3am

Central time: 10am to 4am

Eastern time: 11am to 5am

Alaska time: 7am to 1am

Hawaii time: 6am to 12am

[aaliyahbreaux]

Okay so I just got off the phone with them. I talked to a trans girl named Aurora & she was super helpful! She gave me a few doctors to talk to & encouraged me to seek therapy instead of just rushing to get my pills. She literally found a trans friendly therapist in my town & I would definitely recommend giving them a call!

[thecoggs]

So apparently last year the National Park Service in the US dropped an over 1200 page study of LGBTQ American History as part of their Who We Are program which includes studies on African-American history, Latino history, and Indigenous history. 

Like. This is awesome. But also it feels very surreal that maybe one of the most comprehensive examinations of LGBTQ history in America (it covers sports! art! race! historical sites! health! cities!) was just casually done by the parks service. 

[tarastarr1]

This is really great??

Chapter 1: Prologue: Why LGBTQ Historic Sites Matter by Mark Meinke

Chapter 2: Introduction to the LGBTQ Heritage Initiative Theme Study by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 3: Introduction to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) History in the United States by Leisa Meyer and Helis Sikk

Chapter 4: The History of Queer History: One Hundred Years of the Search for Shared Heritage by Gerard Koskovich

Chapter 5: The Preservation of LGBTQ Heritage by Gail Dubrow

Chapter 6: LGBTQ Archeological Context by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 7: A Note about Intersectionality by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 8: Making Bisexuals Visible by Loraine Hutchins

Chapter 9: Sexual and Gender Diversity in Native America and the Pacific Islands by Will Roscoe

Chapter 10: Transgender History in the US and the Places that Matter by Susan Stryker

Chapter 11: Breathing Fire: Remembering Asian Pacific American Activism in Queer History by Amy Sueyoshi

Chapter 12: Latina/o Gender and Sexuality by Deena J. González and Ellie D. Hernandez

Chapter 13: “Where We Could Be Ourselves”: African American LGBTQ Historic Places and Why They Matter by Jeffrey A. Harris

Chapter 14: LGBTQ Spaces and Places by Jen Jack Gieseking

Chapter 15: Making Community: The Places and Spaces of LGBTQ Collective Identity Formation by Christina B. Hanhardt

Chapter 16: LGBTQ Business and Commerce by David K. Johnson

Chapter 17: Sex, Love, and Relationships by Tracy Baim

Chapter 18: LGBTQ Civil Rights in America by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 19: Historical Landmarks and Landscapes of LGBTQ Law by Marc Stein

Chapter 20: LGBTQ Military Service by Steve Estes

Chapter 21: Struggles in Body and Spirit: Religion and LGBTQ People in US History by Drew Bourn

Chapter 22: LGBTQ and Health by Katie Batza

Chapter 23: LGBTQ Art and Artists by Tara Burk

Chapter 24: LGBTQ Sport and Leisure by Katherine Schweighofer

Chapter 25: San Francisco: Placing LGBTQ Histories in the City by the Bay by Donna J. Graves and Shayne E. Watson

Chapter 26: Preservation of LGBTQ Historic & Cultural Sites – A New York City Perspective by Jay Shockley

Chapter 27: Locating Miami’s Queer History by Julio Capó, Jr.

Chapter 28: Queerest Little City in the World: LGBTQ Reno by John Jeffrey Auer IV

Chapter 29: Chicago: Queer Histories at the Crossroads of America by Jessica Herczeg-Konecny

Chapter 30: Nominating LGBTQ Places to the National Register of Historic Places and as National Historic Landmarks: An Introduction by Megan E. Springate and Caridad de la Vega

Chapter 31: Interpreting LGBTQ Historic Sites by Susan Ferentinos

Chapter 32: Teaching LGBTQ History and Heritage by Leila J. Rupp

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

[gothbfkermit]

not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it

[iwilleatyourenglish]

how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?

here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.

Free Resources:

an interactive timeline of LGBT+ world history

The 1950s and the Roots of LGBT Politics (American-centric)

Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)

a brief history of the bisexual movement from the 1960s-early 2000s (American-centric)

Bisexual.org has a TON of resources on bi (and often pan) history, historical figures, research, and media

“Here’s A History Of Bisexuality, From Ancient Egypt To Stonewall”

a brief timeline of trans history, beginning in the 1890s (European and American-centric)

“Gender Variance Around the World Over Time”

Some Purchasable Resources:

(most of these can be bought used online for pretty cheap and some can be found in libraries)

Before Stonewall: Activists for Gay and Lesbian Rights in Historical Context by Vern L Bullough (it’s a bit dated, but still informative)

A Little Gay History: Desire and Diversity Across the World by R. Parkinson

Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women (Intersections) by Leila J. Rupp

Gay Voices of the Harlem Renaissance (Blacks in the Diaspora) by A.B. Christa Schwarz

The Lavender Scare: The Cold War Persecution of Gays and Lesbians in the Federal Government by David K. Johnson

Queer Brown Voices: Personal Narratives of Latina/o LGBT Activism edited by Uriel Quesada, Letitia Gomez, and Salvador Vidal Ortiz

Transgender History: The Roots of Today’s Revolution by Susan Stryker

Asegi Stories: Cherokee Queer and Two-Spirit Memory by Qwo-Li Driskill

[askanonbinary]

Here in internet-land, I almost always see "mogai" used in a really derisive way towards "fake genders" or talking about "mogai hell". What does "mogai" mean, and do you have any advice for dealing with people who are condescending and rude about lesser-known sexualities and genders?

It’s meant to be a more inclusive term for - for lack of a better word - the community. It stands for Marginalized Orientations, Genders/Gender Identities, And Intersex. You’ll more rarely see it shortened as MOGII. MOGAI was originally Marginalized Organizations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex, and I’ll explain why that evolved a bit down below. 

It took off more than some of the others and became the most popular replacement for GRSM (Gender, Romantic, and Sexual Minorities), as GRSM is rooted in clinical terminology and is meant to include pedophiles (vomit). After people started pointing out the gross roots of GRSM, there was a big movement for a better replacement that was more inclusive than LGBT+ or trying to fit all letters into the acronym. SAGA (Sexuality And Gender Acceptance) was the other big replacement, but MOGAI gained more visibility and notice (it’s the luck of the draw on the internet sometimes - right person, right timing), so it became the most used and well known replacement.

There’s a couple different reasons for the backlash against MOGAI in particular.

One is that there is always resistance against inclusive terms. Part of why TERFs started an attack against queer. Within any power system, there will always be those who do their best to prioritize themselves. That’s cis white gay men in the gender/sexuality crowd, mostly, and cis white lesbians for a smaller part. If you have a term that puts everyone on included, equal ground, it’s harder to prioritize yourself as more important. So there’s always pushback against inclusive terms.

Now there’s also an argument that the phrasing “gender alignments” allows cishet women to worm their way in, as a marginalized gender, when that’s not what the term is meant to represent. Which is why there was some push to either move towards MOGII or change it to gender identities rather than gender alignments.

(I used to use mogai myself, I eventually fell out of it because queer exists and lgbt has continued to reign strong over mogai, and I was tired but welcome in the queer community, and that’s been a fight - thanks to terfs - enough in and of itself. Dx )

But what you’re seeing mostly is just gatekeeping and queerphobia/acephobia/transphobia/exorsexism, etc. Anti-ace sentiment in particular, as I think a lot of ace people were drawn to MOGAI and the fact that it was meant to be purposefully inclusive of them. The usual hate against lesser known identities. People can’t stand that we don’t all fit into nice, neat little boxes and that some people like to microlabel, that microlabels can actually help some people feel better and happier. It’s people drawn to things like truscum-ism/transmedicalism, terf beliefs, ace exclusion, etc. that make fun of MOGAI, call it MOGAI hell, or refer to us as special snowflakes. They need to feel better about themselves and do this by shitting on the rest of us.

As for dealing with people like this, honestly? Block list. There’s a reason block/ignore exists on most sites. We can’t always do this in real life, but that’s the beauty of the internet. You can block the fuck out of these hateful trolls. It sucks seeing all that crap. Block it! Get it out of your life. Then go follow some positivity blogs, vent to friends, other forms of self-care, etc. There is no reason you have to deal with people who are only trying to make you feel like crusty dirt. As for real life, if you can’t walk away, I personally like to get sarcastic with people or get really condescending back, like “oh yeah, of course you’re right, you know everything, you couldn’t possibly be wrong, you are the one true determiner of identity and who someone else is”. Maybe your personality lends you to a different form of protection/shielding, though. 

~ Mod Sock

[underneathbubbles]

Different Ways Of Using Multiple Pronoun Sets

People can use whichever pronouns come to them first 

Different people use different pronouns for you (Example: Annie calls you she while Jenny calls you they) 

People alternate between pronouns 

You use a pronoun necklace/pin/etc. 

You wear different styles of clothing for different pronouns (Example: When you wear skirts, you’re a she, and when you wear pants, you’re a they) 

You wear a clothing item or color to signify your pronouns (Example: When you wear a green bow, you’re a she, and when you wear a red bow, you’re a they) 

[whatmountains]

TRANS WOMEN: HERE'S SOME SHIT YOUR DOCTOR WONT TELL YOU ABOUT HRT

1. Progesterone: not for everyone, but for many people it may increase sex drive and WILL make your boobs bigger. Also effects mood in ways that many find positive (but some find negative). Most doctors won’t prescribe this to you unless you ask. Most trans girls I know swear by it.

2. Injectible estrogen: is more effective than pill or patch form. Get on it if you can bear needles bc you will see more effects more quickly.

3. Estradiol Cypionate: There is currently a shortage of injectible estradiol valerate. There is no shortage of estradiol cypionate. Functionally they do the same shit.

4. Bicalutamide: This is an anti-androgen that has almost none of the side-effects of spironolactone or finasteride. The girls I know who are on it are evangelical about it.

[naidje-deactivated]

@euryale-dreams

[joyeuse-noelle]

Are there HRT medications that don’t increase blood clot risk? I’m already at risk because of my blood pressure, and my doctor won’t prescribe HRT that increases clot risk while I’m on the medication - and I may never not be on the medication.

[euryale-dreams-deactivated20201]

Absolutely.

The concerns surrounding venous thromboembolic events as a side-effect of hormone replacement therapy can mostly be traced back to one particular study known as the Women’s Health Initiative. This study was an enormous undertaking which, unfortunately, demonstrated significant adverse effects of the hormone therapies studied. As a result of this the use of hormone replacement therapy in postmenopausal cis women was dramatically reduced as the medical community began to question whether or not the therapy caused more harm than good.

Naturally, trans women have been suffering from this fall-out ever since.

What physicians seem to fail to recognize is that the study examined a very specific hormone regimen which was, arguably, outmoded at the time the study was conducted: It examined the use of conjugated equine estrogen (Premarin) with or without the use of medroxyprogesterone acetate. Neither of these drugs is regularly used for the treatment of transgender women.

The estrogen most commonly used to treat transgender women nowadays is 17β-estradiol either in pill form or in the form of a sticky patch that you apply to your skin. Esters of estrogen (e.g. estradiol valerate) are also sometimes used either in a pill form or as an intramuscular injection.

Transdermal estradiol patches are the gold standard when it comes to treating women who are at high risk of a venous thromboembolic event. It simply does not increase the risk of developing a venous thromboembolism. The only thing you should keep in mind is that patches are not always well tolerated because of the lifestyle changes required to keep them from falling off and the fact that they tend to irritate the skin.

Fortunately, oral 17β-estradiol appears to be safe, regardless of the increased risk. At least one large study has shown that the use of oral estradiol in trans women is not associated with venous thromboembolic events. An individual woman’s risk would need to be substantial in order to contraindicate the use of oral estradiol.

For those who have significant risk of venous thromboembolism because they have had a previous thromboembolic event, because they are paralyzed, or because of some other factor it is good to know the relative risk between oral and transdermal estrogen. The latest research indicates that the use of transdermal estrogen lowers your risk of a thromboembolism to 80% of what your risk would be using oral estrogens.

It’s difficult to find hard numbers regarding the relative risk of venous thromboembolic events with regards to hypertension. The best I could find after an hour or so of searching was this study regarding VTE in lung cancer patients. Hypertension increased the risk by a factor of 1.8.

However, to put that into perspective being of African descent increases your relative risk for deep vein thrombosis by a factor of 1.3 when compared to Europeans. Europeans are, themselves, at increased risk when compared to Asians and Pacific Islanders by a considerable margin: a four-fold increase.

I should point out that being ‘male’ is also a risk factor for developing a thromboembolism and hormones are likely to be a contributing factor. Also, menopause is another serious risk factor. Given this information it is likely that the use of transdermal estradiol will lower your risk of thromboembolic events significantly.

As far as the anti-androgen is concerned: The primary use for spironolactone for cisgender people is as an antihypertensive.

Even if the risk of thromboembolism was truly significant with modern hormone replacement therapy it wouldn’t justify what your doctor is doing to you. The fact is that mortality in the transgender community from suicide–caused in part due to the lack of access to hormone therapy–is substantial. The quality of life lost when a trans woman is denied hormone therapy is substantial. The fact that your doctor does not appear to be taking this into consideration when they weigh the risk of thromboembolism against not receiving necessary medical care is deeply concerning.

I strongly recommend that you seek a doctor who is more sensitive to your medical needs as a transgender woman.

Edit: Fixed a minor, but embarrassing, error.

[whatmountains]

oh wow this is so helpful & good info

[blackthorn-and-iron-deactivated]

Everyone who cares about transfem people please reblog this

[thetolerantleft-deactivated2017]

this was really fucking helpful

[blkwlw]

I know a lot of trans women dont have acess to information like this and its very helpful.

[ram3s3s]

Pay Attention!

[category-fury-deactivated202101]

This is incredibly important information for tons of reasons. But, what I feel is most important to take away from this is that you do NOT need an antiandrogen at all. Raising your estradiol levels to about 300 pg/ml suppresses testosterone in most trans women. Most docs have you hover around 200 of/ml due to threat of thrombosis but this threat is tiny compared to what they think it is. Antiandrogens with few to no exceptions have very very harmful side effects that should not be ignored. This is especially true for Spironolactone. If you are comfortable with injections see if you can get your doc to prescribe you estradiol cypionate about .5 ml/week (milliliters not milligrams). This should be enough to suppress your T. If you want to talk to somebody about your options please feel free to message me and I will try to help. Stay healthy, girls!!

[dungeonqueering]

Not an idea, but fucking important

[thetroublesofbeingtrans]

instead of assuring everyone that it “isn’t a phase”, why don’t we just assure everyone that if it is a phase it’s fine? it’s healthy to figure yourself out? because if we tell everyone it’s not a phase and it ends up being a phase, those people are going to feel guilty, like they stole resources or wasted time. It’s not bad to ‘go through a phase’. It’s a healthy way of finding out who you are. And if it isn’t a phase, that’s fine too. But if it is, there’s no reason to feel bad.

[just-queer-things]

THIS THIS THIS THIS^^^^^^

[huffpost]

[huffpost]

❤️💛💚💙💜

[robokitty77]

Wow! They all look awesome!

[lgbt-teenager-support]

The new name you chose for yourself is really cool and fits you well!

[unapologeticbiroace-archived]

Y'all, it’s an app specifically for ace people.

They have so many choices in terms of romantic orientation, too!

It’s available on android (and probably iOS too) under the name ACEapp.

[lgbtqiadvice]

hi, so um lately i have been having thoughts like i want to dress and look more like a guy but im not exactly sure if i want to be trans??? its been confusing.

Presentation=/=gender

Dress however you want, present however you feel comfortable. It doesn’t affect your gender if you don’t want it to.

[lgbtqiadvice]

Heyo so I came out to my sister when I was 13. It's been a year and she still keeps telling me I'm to young to know. It's very annoying, any advice on what to say to her?

If you know, you know. The problem here is that your sister is viewing heterosexuality as the default, the “norm” and viewing anything else as differing from the norm. If you were straight, nobody would tell you that you’re too young to know.

But heterosexual is not the default orientation. If other 13 year olds are old enough to know that they’re straight, then you’re old enough to know you’re not.

[lgbtqiadvice]

Hello!! This might sound sort of silly, but because I was raised in a homophobic family that regularly stereotyped gay folks, and only recently discovered I'm attracted to girls, I'm sort of clueless on this topic. Does there have to be a butch and a femme in every lesbian relationship? I'm more femme and attracted more to femme lesbians, that's normal right? Thank you in advance

There are no expectations of roles in relationships. There doesn’t have to be one “masculine” one and another “feminine” one. It’s perfectly normal to be a femme lesbian attracted to femme lesbians.

[lgbtqiadvice]

Oh shoot! If I didn't make my ask anonymous, then just ignore it! My bad!

Could you send this ask again off anon so we know which, if any, of the current messages in our inbox is yours?

[happywlwsuggestions]

I hope trans Muslim wlw have a good and safe day

[lgbtqiadvice]

I'm a girl and Romantically I'm attaracted to all genders I would date anyone I go by personality so gender doesn't matter to me so I identified as bi but sexually I'm only attracted to girls I only want to have sex with girls so what would that make me?

you can use the split attraction model, which can be used when romantic and sexual orientations don’t match, and say you’re biromantic homosexual or biromantic lesbian, if you want to keep using the bi label. or panromantic, bc that can also fit what you’ve explained here. 

[lgbtqiadvice]

ah I forgot to include in this answer that the only one who can really decide your identity is you and the split attraction model is just one of many options and definitely not the only one