"... bought... copper... from... this... shady fucker... bad quality... zero stars... "
RMH

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Jules of Nature

Kaledo Art
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Peter Solarz
Claire Keane

@theartofmadeline
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
NASA

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Cosimo Galluzzi

Janaina Medeiros

oozey mess
will byers stan first human second

roma★
d e v o n

tannertan36
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

titsay
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@likepetra
"... bought... copper... from... this... shady fucker... bad quality... zero stars... "
Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus
They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her
I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.
Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
Odysseus: Regret it why?
Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.
Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.
*A couple of months later*
Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.
Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.
Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family.
Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.
Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.
#awww #wholesome greek mythology #bet you’ve never seen that phrase before (via @philosopherking1887)
rbing again bc i saw someone noting that Odysseus isn’t technically Nobody until after he blinds Polyphemus, which, correct and fair.
But consider: Odysseus is exACTLY the kinda smartass who’d chime in “oh i’m Nobody” just off the fuckin’ cuff if presented with “Nobody will believe me!” Like it’s a Dad Joke.
That was my exact reasoning! I mean, if he could come up with ‘Noman’ on the spur of the moment once, surely when presented with an opening like this he would go straight to ‘… hi, I’m Nobody’. The man may not have always been pleasant, but he *was* always wily.
I remain extremely proud of this post. It’s nice to see it still going around.
@elpisofhope
There’s like. A lot of death in my life right now. And somehow, the imminent euthanization of one of the dogs I walk is what is breaking me.
It’s as if the other grief is too much, if I start to really feel it i’ll fall completely to pieces so I have it all locked up. Fred the standard poodle doesn’t engage those inner defenses tho – and once i start feeling sad about Fred it pulls the rest of my grief out. It was all i could do to not collapse sobbing yesterday while doing my mid-morning dog walk. Several times my knees buckled and i had to hold my breath to keep from crying violently on the side of the road.
Fred was one of my first clients. I met him and his person and her other dog a little over two years ago. She told me he was a street dog his first year and a half of life, and she explained that he is easily scared and doesn’t trust people while he backed far away from the door and barked and growled at me.
Much to her amazement I had him bumping noses with me in five minutes, and won his total trust by the end of the first week. Souls that need extra care sometimes recognize each other like that.
He. She told me he was trying to jump up into a very tall truck and fell backwards and his leg got caught in the step-up thing that is sometimes on those vehicles. The way he fell twisted his leg in a way that basically shattered his femur like glass. He’s a healthy 11 and i would have expected him to make it to 15 or 16 easily, but at his age he’d spend most of the rest of his life in significant pain trying to recover and. They’re not going to do that to him.
What a heart breaking situation. I’m going to say goodbye to him tomorrow.
People I love are dying around me, and I can’t afford to fall apart about it, I have to drive on the freeway, I have to smile at clients, I have to do my job, and be present for my friends who have their own hardships they’re going through.
So I lock up my grief for the dead and dying. But my sadness about Fred keeps wedging that door open and my heart is very close to breaking into a million pieces, i’m walking a tightrope to stay upright and this is unbalancing me.
Three years ago I was so depressed I couldn’t do anything but lie in bed refusing to consider making my own exit from life.
I found an inner strength through that experience, but it feels unfair to have my spirit tested so harshly when it is still trying to heal from the previous testing.
That’s a lot of words to say I’m having a very hard time.
I don't know how to comfort you in a way that's guaranteed to heal, but... it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to rationally decide you don't have time or spoons to not be okay, or even poke at why you aren't okay, because life sucks sometimes. You have people who care about you, and knowing dogs I know the dogs care about you too and I'm sure they're trying to comfort you as best they can.
If this helps, when you have time to grieve, I've been using this this year, to help me wedge open that door and start the process.
.
I mean say what you will about TikTok but in 2012 you'd have to dig through so many dogshit only-lasted-2-episodes webseries on YouTube to find something this funny.
People keep insulting the Amazon Lord of the Rings show by comparing it to fanfiction when really it's the EXACT opposite of fanfiction! It's so interesting/awful because it's like the ultimate ANTI-fanfiction! I was talking to someone the other day and wasn't aware that lots of people don't know about the insane complicated rights issues happening behind the scenes of the Amazon Show but it's wild. To give a quick summary of the Battle of the Five Rights Issues, as I currently understand it: 1. Amazon only has the rights to make a show about the pre-LOTR era as described in the Lord of the Rings books-- primarily in the appendices of Return the King, where a handful of pages give a brief timeline of some events that happened before the stories. In practice this means they are unable to use nearly all of the characters, places, and events people are familiar with when they think about Middle Earth. They have to make up everything out of whole cloth-- from characters to events to settings. This is either because of timeline reasons or for legal reasons or for both. Whenever they do manage to scrounge up the rights to something you might even vaguely remember (like Mithril) they announce it with enormous fanfare like they're a marvel movie introducing an avenger.
(Parenthetical: Another weird thing I noticed is that the series features practically zero quotes from Tolkien. I only counted about like 4 lines that were edited versions of lines from the books? While this is just a wild tinfoil hat theory, It does feel to me like there might've been some kind of limitation on the amount of Tolkien's words they were allowed to use, as well as the obvious limitations on characters and plot points and etc. The show has the rights to so few things and always REALLY wants you to know when it has the rights to something. It's desperate to remind you of the original books. You would think that, when it's unable to rely on familiar characters or places or events or plot points or music or etc, they would rely instead on Tolkien's really recognizable prose/poetry/language to form an emotional connection to the original stories. After all, language is the heart of Middle Earth, the author's love of language is the reason the world was created, and the unique prose of the story is kinda the soul of why it's memorable. And again, they theoretically have the rights to everything mentioned in the original trilogy right? Theoretically? So it's really odd that they don't use almost any of the language, unlike basically every other adaptation. It might just be a weird writing decision, but it's so strange that it really makes me feel like they were limited or at least dissuaded from including lines from the books.)
2. Amazon is legally Not Allowed to feature things that were mentioned in the Unfinished Tales or the Silmarillion, despite the fact that those are the books that contain most of the stuff about the era they're theoretically adapting. This leads to a bunch of really weird stuff where they introduce things you'd only care about if you read the Silmarillion, but can't include any of the things that would actually make you care about it. Like people who Aren't deep into the lore have literally zero emotional investment in Celebrimbor, but people who ARE deep into the lore know that you can't reference any of the reasons they care about it. 3. Amazon's series is NOT part of the same canon as the Peter Jackson/New Line Cinema films. They're not. However they obviously want to trick people into thinking they are because those movies are popular and a prequel to them would make money even if it sucked (see the Hobbit films.) But again, New Line Cinema still wants to make its own LOTR content based on the slivers of rights they've managed to grab onto, and don't want Amazon to step on their toes. So IIRC Amazon actually made a deal with New Line Cinema that they were allowed to imitate their movie franchise's aesthetic (to keep the brand popular and in the public eye)........ BUT if New Line Cinema ever felt like Amazon was infringing too much on their territory, they could step in and stop it. So the show just sorta looks and sounds like a bland knockoff of the New Line films, because that's all they're legally allowed to be XD. Like they're supposed to look/sound just enough like them to trick you, but they're not legally allowed to include the specific things from the PJ films that would actually make you feel nostalgic for them (like the famous musical leitmotifs.) 4. Part of the deal was that the Tolkien Estate could step in and change anything in the show if they felt it wasn't true to the lore-- which is ridiculous because again, Amazon basically doesn't own the rights to any of the lore so they're just making stuff up anyway. From what I can tell it seems like this basically means the Tolkien Estate can arbitrarily veto any creative decisions based on whatever they've decided “Tolkien would've wanted,” which obviously limits what Amazon is able to do (and likely prevents them from actually criticizing the awful problematic elements of Tolkien's worldbuilding)
5. Ok I don't have a fifth one. SO BASICALLY: Yes, the Amazon series is about a bunch of original characters in almost completely original settings featuring original events and original plot points that (for the most part) doesn't even include any of Tolkien's actual words, and also isn't affiliated with and doesn't include the recognizable things like musical motifs from the New Line Cinema films. But that doesn't make it fanfic. Because fanfiction is when you take another's person's characters and stories and write your own weird personal take on them, even if you don't legally own it. Who legally owns the copyright is irrelevant in fanfiction. Fanfic it's about writing a story with the characters and world you love, about transforming a story you're passionate about even if you don't legally own the rights. Amazon Rings of Power is what happens when an entire show is completely written around what you legally own the rights to. Every aspect of it only exists as an elaborate tap dance around copyright infringement. Again, I think the Amazon series is more interesting as "a study of how corporations/megafranchises can do massive harm and also weaken our ability to create good art" than it is as a tv show, alskdjfsdlf.
If fanfiction is "writing something you love regardless of whether you own the rights" then Rings of Power is "writing whatever fits within the extremely narrow box of the rights you happen to own." And that makes it....a very strange thing to exist! It’s kinda a shining example of how giant media monopolies and copyright laws designed to benefit them end up hamstringing everyone’s ability to create meaningful art, even the corporations themselves.
As much as everybody's justifiably railing on Chris Pratt for his acting, after watching the new trailer I honestly don't think Anya Taylor-Joy is a very good fit for Peach either. The problem isn't that they're bad actors, it's that they are not voice actors. When I hear Anya's or Chris's voice I don't picture Peach and Mario, I picture two regular adult people who wouldn't stand out in a coffee shop. Which isn't the point of animated movies and voice acting! ESPECIALLY with Mario! This is supposed to be a movie about cartoonish characters in a video game fantasy world saving the day, and their voices should fit with that theme. That's why Charles Martinet's Mario voice works so well, because it makes sense for what Mario is supposed to be. This trend of giving voice acting specific jobs to non-voice actors who have no experience with this kind of work is detrimental to animation and film! It is removing job opportunities from people who have spent their lives learning this craft and handing it over to a celebrity with no experience just because they're famous. The beauty of voice acting and animation in general is how you are completely creating a character. The whole point of voice acting is that you don't point to a character in a film and say, "hey, that's Chris Pratt" the point is that people will point to the charcater and go "oh, new character!" This movie is more and more frustrating to me the more I realize how much it feels like a money grab exclusively because of the casting. The animation, the music, and the effects are all completely perfect for a Mario movie, but so many of the acting choices feel like someone just rifled through a list of "100 most popular celebrities" and chose whoever was vaguely similar to "average white man voice" or "average white woman voice". No matter how popular these people are or how good they are at acting in front of a camera or on stage, they can not voice act.
oh thank gods I’m not the only one.
At least the AMV people will have pretty visuals to work with :/
Kinda :\ about them trying to force the girlboss angle on Peach when that should be Daisy’s characterization honestly
gotta do the whole “haha guy incompetent and needs the help of girl” plot we’ve seen 100 times now
goncharov
So, in Brazilian politics news, the Chamber of Deputies has approved a bill prohibiting anti-homeless architecture in public spaces!
The Chamber of Deputies approved this Tuesday (November 22, 2022), in a symbolic way, a bill that prohibits the so-called “hostile architecture” - constructions to remove people from public spaces and make access difficult for groups such as the elderly, children or people in street situation.
Examples of hostile architecture include sharp spikes installed on commercial facades, uneven paving, rough stones, water jets, electrified or barbed wire fences, and walls with broken glass. The text goes to the sanction of President Jair Bolsonaro (Liberal Party).
The project, which has already been approved by the Senate, bears the nickname “Law Padre Júlio Lancelotti”, a priest who went viral on social media when he was filmed trying to to break stones installed by the city of São Paulo under an overpass.
(x)
Three killed, 11 wounded in Brazil twin school shootings
The assailant was identified as a 16-year-old ex-student who used a semi-automatic weapon and wore military fatigues.
At least three people were killed and 11 wounded after a former student opened fire at two schools in the southeastern Brazilian state of Espirito Santo, police said.
The alleged shooter was identified as a 16-year-old who wore military-style camouflage attire with Nazi symbols, the authorities said of the twin attacks that took place at 10am (13:00 GMT) on Friday in the town of Aracruz, 80km north of state capital Vitoria.
He first fired on teachers at his former school, a public primary and secondary school, killing two people and injuring nine.
The shooter then went to a private school on the same street, where he killed an adolescent girl and wounded two people, officials said.
The teenager has been arrested, Espirito Santo Governor Renato Casagrande confirmed.
Continue reading.
The alleged shooter was identified as a 16-year-old who wore military-style camouflage attire with Nazi symbols
What the fuck
he left out the part where Evangelical Christians only support Israel because they believe it’s one of the requirements for the End Times.
It’s the same reason they’re shit conservationists and treat the environment like disposable toilet paper.
A suspect is in custody after five people were killed and 18 were injured in a shooting at Club Q, an LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs, o
They’re hunting us down. RIP.
if youd like to help victims, please consider donating to the colorado healing fund
The attacker was stopped by two patrons in the bar btw (they should have put the little shit down right then and there but w/e). I've already seen articles being edited to repeat the police BS that they only "fought with" the attacker until the cops arrived because God knows fags can't protect themselves. Always remember we absolutely can fight back and defend ourselves from these animals. Don't let the cops try to use this to get you to dickride for them.
fun fact if your breasts¹ are somewhere between a 36C-36D² then they weight³ about the same as your brain⁴
if you’re above a D-cup⁵ you’ve probably got more boob than brain⁶
1. Both breasts combined. 2. UK and US bras are the same at this cup size. 3. Sourced from this blog post; a different source was found but excluded as it didn’t account for band size. If you have a better referenced source let me know. 4. An adult human brain weighs ~1.3kg (2.8lb). 5. A 36D cup, or sister size (40B, 38C, 34E, 32F, etc) 6. Both breasts combined. A single 36G/H cup breast is about brain-sized.
requested by anonymous:
RATING: RELIABLE*
*I would caution that due to individual variation, this is a rough estimate. However, as an approximation, this is correct.
According to the source used by OP, a 36D is 1.5lb per breast, so 3lb or 1.36kg combined. This is the same for US and UK sizing. 1.3kg is a fair estimation for average brain size, although it does vary by sex and age. Therefore, using the above source for the weight of the breast, the maths is correct.
Source: ‘The average brain weight of the adult male was 1336 gr; for the adult female 1198 gr. With increasing age, brain weight decreases by 2.7 gr in males, and by 2.2 gr in females per year.’
The weight of certain breast sizes does vary significantly due to differences in density, and there are few reliable sources for estimates.
Source: ‘Some breasts are far more “dense” than others, presenting a known issue for matters such as mammography.’
META-RATING: RELIABLE
The first source is a paper published in the German journal ‘Pathologe’, a german-language reputable pathology journal. I am not au fait with german medical journals so my ability to fully examine the reliabilty is limited, however I am inclined to trust the information presented purely as a journal-published article (notwithstanding flawed medical practices (which by and large are a very small minority)) is generally a more reliable source. The second source is a fact-checking website which itself is rated as very high on factual by MBFC. Their article is well sourced with little to no emotive words or attempts to influence the viewer.
that’s not how you raise your IQ :U
Twitter is going to explode, hi everyone thanks for being here
I just swung by to grab some popcorn off the window sill
I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.
I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!
You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.
How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”
I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.
Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-
Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.
The simple thought that the jar jar anon exists in the same world as we do gives me shivers. I bet that if I look upon them, whoever they are, I will die instantly.
Replies hall of fame
+ bonus (someone that should be feared):
I’m sure that somebody has probably pointed it out already, but there is officially published material in one of the art books of naked Jar Jar, and he’s like a Ken Doll down there:
@kaijutegu ever heard of a cloaca? Jar jar is a reptile.
Nope, Gungans are amphibians! Amphibians, while in possession of a cloaca, are not in possession of dicks. They just don’t work that way. When amphibians reproduce, they do something called a cloacal kiss, where the male ejects sperm directly into the female. Tailed frogs do have an extendible cloaca that can help propel the sperm into the other cloaca, and sometimes it comes out in packets, but amphibians have no penises. Jar Jar is packing absolutely nothing.
Also, having a cloaca doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have a dick. Lizards have two dicks tucked up inside their cloacas. But amphibians just don’t work that way. Frogs, salamanders, Gungans? Dickless wonders the lot of ‘em.
There goes anon’s hopes and dreams
more importantly, why would even want Jar Jar to have a dick when we’ve seen their tongue game in such excruciating detail in the films? I’m a lesbian and am repulsed by men and even I’d consider getting cleaned out by it
What the absolute fuck did I read? I just woke up, and I get hit with a jar jar dick debate….
Every day and every night, I am reminded by this site that language is a concept humans have created and that words have meaning. I am reminded every day and every night of this fact viciously and brutally by this site. We should have never crawled out of the sea.
world heritage post
terrible job everyone
I KNOW I JUST REBLOGGED THIS BUT THE WORST POSSIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED
my friend is super into star wars so I sent him the link to this post just to fuck with him and he texts me back “I’m at a funeral.”
I SENT MY FRIEND A POST ABOUT SOMEONE WANTING TO FUCK JAR JAR BINKS WHILE HE WAS AT HIS UNCLE’S FUNERAL.
I AM SO DISTRAUGHT. HOW DO I RECOVER FROM THIS
There you go, y’all. We have a new contender for best reply to this post coming in strong.
(Pls tell your friend I’m sorry as well)
Reblog this post to protect Tumblr from ad reps. …No, wait, seriously: How many companies do you think would advertise on Tumblr if they looked at the top ten most reblogged posts on the site and this was one of them?
This. This is why I love tumblr.
You know Tolkien Describes all his Elves as being white skinned?
Anghraine’s fantastic piece here does a great job of deconstructing this question, some related questions and why they all rest on disturbingly racist attitudes about what it’s acceptable to change and interpret in Tolkien’s legendarium. I don’t have much to add to that, but:
Oh? Does he? Where?
I didn’t remember seeing this, but it’s quite possible that I missed a critical passage somewhere. So I spent today rereading, looking for any reference at all to the skin color of Elves. And I found something!
As Maeglin grew to full stature he resembled in face and form rather his kindred of the Noldor […] He was tall and black-haired; his eyes were dark, yet bright and keen as the eyes of the Noldor, and his skin was white.
That’s it. That’s the only one. So I think it’s fair to say that Tolkien described Maeglin as having white skin. One could even argue that Tolkien described the Noldor as white, since he does mention in this passage that Maeglin looks Noldor. But that’s a far cry from describing all Elves as white. In fact, I think it’s evidence of the opposite - the text does not bother mentioning that Maeglin has two eyes, or ten fingers, because those things are true of all Elves. But it does mention that his skin is white, maybe because that's not self-evident, maybe because it’s not true of all Elves.
________________________
Tolkien actually says very little about the skin color of any of his characters. Did he imagine them all as white? Quite possibly.
But even the most extreme adherents to author’s intent who I know don’t insist that we have to restrain ourselves to imagining the characters the way that the author arguably probably imagined them. I am more than happy to ignore or reimagine some of the incredibly troubling elements of the legendarium (and yes, they are there), but in this case, we don’t even need to do that.
Tolkien never describes his Elves as white skinned. There’s no reason to believe that all Elves had pale skin, and even if all Elves had pale skin not all people with pale skin are white.
It is okay to imagine Elves however you imagine them. But there’s nothing “objectively true” or “canonically correct” about imagining them universally white, and Tolkien never described them that way. And given that Elves are “beyond all other beauty that Iluvatar has caused to be”, and especially given that there are canonical POCs who are villains, I find the idea that they’re all white pretty icky. Even if Tolkien had explicitly described them that way, I would challenge it. But he didn’t, and the myth that he did is worth correcting as often and as loudly as necessary.
I’d argue his mother is also “canonically white” but you can wiggle out of it by saying she’s pale and dresses in white.
But also, white skin doesn’t mean European.
As Maeglin grew to full stature he resembled in face and form rather his kindred of the Noldor […] He was tall and black-haired; his eyes were dark, yet bright and keen as the eyes of the Noldor, and his skin was white.
Black hair, dark eyes and white skin would be how I describe an Asian person.