Don’t spread with your mouth what your eyes didn’t see.
Deep thoughts of the day;
*WARNING LONG PARAGRAPH COMING*
Past few years have been really hard on me (which I’m sure a lot of you guys go through too),
And honestly one of my main reasons is the shit-talking.
I know right!?
“Bellina, you shouldn’t care what other people think, especially when they’re always so negative like this.”
“Get away from them.”
But what if I can’t?
What if I have no choice when this is in environments I can’t get away from?
Whether it’s school, work, an apartment lease, or even extended family?
What if it’s a place that has a meaning to me?
It’s happened to me more than once to the point where i feel like there’s something wrong with me. As a person.
~
All of us go through this toxicity. Some more than others. And can’t avoid it.
Sometimes we’re the ones harmed, and sometimes we’re the ones giving the poison.
This isn’t black and white. No one is purely evil, or purely consistent with the kindness.
We’re human. We judge, and we shit talk.
But I’m sure we all have the ability to make this a less toxic world.
It amazes me how much can be judged about someone within a short amount of time.
Maybe you had a bad day, which leads to someone thinking you’re someone who ALWAYS complains.
Maybe you simply don’t know about something, and people automatically think you’re dumb as a whole.
maybe you’re causing discomfort without even realizing, and individuals choose to shit talk about your social awkwardness rather than courageously bringing it to your knowledge.
And who knows? You might even look like the lazy one when you don’t get something done, when in reality, you just have so much on your plate.
Hey, maybe you’re that thirsty hoe and that’s why you’re always around the guys, when in reality, it could just be you vibing better with them.
~
It sucks that this has become such a norm. The constant shit talks. And I’m sure all of us have seen this disgusting act in ourselves and all around.
I decided to write this all out because I’m sure a lot of you have been this position of wondering what is wrong with you. ‘Cause I know I have.
~
To everyone who has ever had their self-esteem crushed due to this contagious act of shit talking, you’re not alone.
If you happen to think this is life’s way of telling you you need to fix something, then do it. ‘Cause those people obviously do not get the concept of constructive criticism.
But if you’ve been the best person you can be, and people still have the room in their minds to find anything else to falsely accuse or negatively judge upon, then there’s nothing you can do, except be the better version of yourself!
How do you do that?
You can’t directly change what people think of you; but you can improve who you are.
You know the pain when the world judges you hardcore.
So take this opportunity to learn from this negativity, and make sure you never make someone feel the way you did.
Don’t continue the cycle. Judge on your own full-on experience and not the word of mouth.
People over exaggerate stories, always find something to pick on, and love the gossip
Don’t be shaming somebody for “being sad all the time,” because that might be the person that goes home to an unhealthy home everyday. Give them the support.
Don’t be shaming somebody on how they dress, because they might not have had as much access as you.
Don’t be shaming somebody for being attached to their abusive significant other, because s/he might have been the only person that has ever made them feel loved
Calling somebody fat doesn’t make you any more attractive.
Calling somebody dumb doesn’t make you any smarter.
And calling somebody a bitch doesn’t make you any nicer.
~
This might be a stereotypical topic.
“That’s life.”
But I think people forget to take what they’ve learned from this experience, and end up letting themselves drown in the negativity.
In addition, attempt to spread a good example of not judging so quickly.
“Treat somebody the way you would wanna be treated.”
You heard it so many times as a kid, but do you really apply it in your daily life?
~
I myself have been in about three environments this year where the shit talking has really gotten to me.
After dreading it for so long, I realized, I finally had enough.
At this point, I thought I really hated my life.
But really, this was the time to be growing as a person, and pursue the mature act of not judging as quickly. I’ve hated it so much when I didn’t even have a chance to explain myself; I think it’s time I work towards being less judgmental towards others. I think the universe was trying to remind me to be the best person I can be.
Everybody deserves to show the best of themselves. Give them a chance. ‘Cause you never know what you will encounter when you go beyond that surface image.
And when I do have the urge to shit talk, maybe i should think twice and address the problem with them.
~
TLDR;
1. improve from the unfriendly criticism
2. never sink down to the shit talkers’ level to continue the fire
3. Communication is the key. The world would be a better place with the upfront honesty
~
Thank you shit talkers, for pushing me to be a better person everyday.
