[lilnibbles]

the united states government: lets give five people the ability to decide for 300+ million what should happen to the internet.

the american people: that sounds kinda ... bad

the united states government: that's because it is. now go fuck yourself. (:

[grl-crushh]

[splantamello]

I am both of these people

[sheis-me]

Same.

[shencomix]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

THE NOSTALGIA

bonus:

[leesh]

she really wasn’t kidding about johns underwear

[leesh]

the saga continues

[strawberryshortcakekitten-deact]

Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

____________________________________________________________

Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

____________________________________________________________

Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

____________________________________________________________

Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so…how was narnia?

____________________________________________________________

Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

____________________________________________________________

Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

____________________________________________________________

Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

____________________________________________________________

Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

____________________________________________________________

Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

[technicallythearical]

This is so sweet actually

[guy]

i just made bird noises

[hobolunchbox]

[anti-sjw-rosequartz-deactivated]

If you scratch my cat in the right spot, he’ll flick his tongue out and lick whatever is close by

[sharkpilot]

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza. But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza. The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note

and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

[sharkpilot]

oMGGGG

[jakebumlick]

pizza cares

[usy-is-my-love-child]

Pizza understands

[stilljustkim]

pizza spelt its own name wrong

[memewhore]

[professorspork]

#this single photo here validates the existence of the selfie stick I SWEAR TO GOD

[elidaddyy]

Summer mood. x

[whimsywandering]

this is @thoughts-of-grace

[iraffiruse]

Gotta work on that spacing

[qregrimaldis-deactivated2022111]

y'all what the fuck was bull tit anus tryna be tho

[formerprincewille]

ALDKAKSKAK

[1010ll]

[jeniphyer]

This like them paint mixing videos…but with dangerously hot metals

[kickthebutt]

glass pancake

[3go]

i downloaded this god damn episode just so everyone could watch this fukkin clip

[sapphia]

i’m pretty sure that, given the choice, the entire star wars fanbase would rather just have 73 year old harrison ford cast as young han solo and pretend, through sheer stubbornness, that he looks 20

[westieronto]

How most people with invisible illnesses are treated by health care “professionals”

[thefemcritique]

The Golden Girls didn’t fuck around

[pardonmewhileipanic]

pls watch

honestly i really appreciated this scene when I first saw it bc it took me like two years to get a diagnosis for what’s wrong with me

[mttheww]

Dorothy:  Dr. Budd?

Dr. Budd:  Yes?

Dorothy:  You probably don’t remember me, but you told me I wasn’t sick.  Do you remember?  You told me I was just getting old.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sorry, I really don’t–

Dorothy:  Remember.  Maybe you’re getting old.  That’s a little joke.  Well, I tell you, Dr. Budd, I really am sick.  I have chronic fatigue syndrome.  That is a real illness.  You can check with the Center for Disease Control.

Dr. Budd:  Huh.  Well, I’m sorry about that.

Dorothy:  Well, I’m glad!  At least I know I have something.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sure.  Well, nice seeing you.

Dorothy:  Not so fast.  There are some things I have to say.  There are a lot of things that I have to say.  Words can’t express what I have to say.  [tearing up]  What I went through, what you put me through—I can’t do this in a restaurant.

Dr. Budd:  Good!

Dorothy:  But I will!

Dr. Budd’s date:  Louis, who is this person?

Dr. Budd:  Look, Miss–

Dorothy:  Sit.  I sat for you long enough.  Dr. Budd, I came to you sick—sick and scared—and you dismissed me.  You didn’t have the answer, and instead of saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” you made me feel crazy, like I had made it all up.  You dismissed me!  You made me feel like a child, a fool, a neurotic who was wasting your precious time.  Is that your caring profession?  Is that healing?  No one deserves that kind of treatment, Dr. Budd, no one.  I suspect had I been a man, I might have been taken a bit more seriously, and not told to go to a hairdresser.

Dr. Budd:  Look, I am not going to sit here anymore–

Dr. Budd’s date:  Shut up, Louis.

Dorothy:  I don’t know where you doctors lose your humanity, but you lose it.  You know, if all of you, at the beginning of your careers, could get very sick and very scared for a while, you’d probably learn more from that than anything else.  You’d better start listening to your patients.  They need to be heard.  They need caring.  They need compassion.  They need attending to.  You know, someday, Dr. Budd, you’re gonna be on the other side of the table, and as angry as I am, and as angry as I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.

[jennytrout]

Reblogging for any of my mutuals who’ve ever dealt with Dr. Budd.

[stupidjewishwhiteboy]

“Shut up, Lewis”

[mjalti]

i crave simple things in life like fresh sourdough bread with a shallow but ornate dipping bowl containing olive oil/balsamic/fresh herbs on a moonlit evening overlooking the sea in some fuckall, Mediterranean location where i’m left alone to eat my bread and let the iodine from the sea air heal my torn up spirit & also six hundred million dollars in unmarked duffle bags stuffed into a swiss bank account box i receive for completing a job of dubious morality