Yes, yes, YES. This is what I think exactly.
In recent years I’ve been calling out those assumptions, too, that childless people must all HATE CHILDREN SO MUCH, because it’s a cruel, awful cultural trope. People must once again make a false choice on another arbitrary binary. You’re not permitted to simply like children but recognize you do not wish to parent; you must either PERFORM PARENTING or else you HATE KIDS.
(And it’s completely understandable why young people, especially young women, play into this cultural trope. The incredible weight of cultural pressure from everywhere, constantly, all the time, makes you snap out the answer – since I’m not ready to have a child this very instant, fine! Clearly I hate them. I myself felt very pressured to perform this in my twenties, even though I was in no fit state to parent.)
It’s understandable, but it’s so, so sad, because children benefit so much from loving, connected aunts and uncles and non-gender-normative role models invented in their lives, taking on some of that heavy burden from the parent (who, as pointed out, cannot opt out, not ethically). It further widens the divide between parents and non-parents.
I’ve even seen parents perform some vestiges of this, “Oh, ha ha, I mean, I like MY KID, but I hate kids…” Fine– sure– maybe you are the Very Special Adult Who Hates All Children (Except Yours), and it isn’t simply that children can all be draining (because they are, in fact, children)… but who is culturally benefiting from your performance of Hating Children? Of loudly announcing it? Of re-inforcing that the only way to tolerate or love children is within the mandatory confines of a nuclear family?
Let’s normalize Liking Children for non-parents. Let’s normalize having a community of loving, concerned adults who COULD very easily opt out of a child’s life… but stay by choice. Let’s support the parents who make the choice, and understand those who don’t might have different goals in their lives. But let’s support CHILDREN wherever we may find them. That’s what Mr. Rogers would do.
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