While Grace is teaching the Eridians, he mentions how important socialization and pack bonding is for humans. Humans require a community to thrive and get depressed if they're left alone, so it's best to keep them in groups. However humans can pack bond with anything, and Grace is very close to the Eridians, so he's okay.
The Eridians misunderstand him, and proceed to panic because they only have one human. They only have one human but it turns out you need to keep them in packs. They can die if they're isolated for to long and they can't let Grace die this is bad bad bad.
So they send a message to earth, asking if anybody would be willing to volunteer to live on Erid with Grace. They stress that while this is a life or death matter, they need the human to be a willing participant. That all of their needs and wants would be met and that the Eridians would give Earth information and technology in exchange. The volunteer would be given a life of luxury in exchange for living on Erid with Grace.
Unfortunately, there is a mistranslation, and the humans think that the Eridians require a sacrifice otherwise they will use their resources against earth. In order to avoid a possible interstellar war with an alien species, they choose a convict who has a life sentence to be locked in a bare rocket and blasted off to Erid.
That is how Simon, the only survivor of his religious extremist cult, ended up on the SM-13 headed to an alien planet against his will.
Ghosts are very emotional and very self aware creatures. Why lie when there's no reason to? Why work around the honest trust when it could possibly get what you want? The only reason that concept is so difficult for humans is because they lie all the time.
Danny was raised human, that's a fact. But he was also raised around crazy people, crazy people that other humans consider not so human. So is it surprising that he grew up a bit- unwell? His parents were loud, direct and very tethered to their work so not so different from his parents.
Danny has his accident, not with his school friends. It was while his family was checking over the portal. So he died and came back to life in front of his parents and Jazz. But they didn't really realize anything was wrong, they knew Danny was different but his attitude? Nah that was the same.
He may have turned invisible or some other definitely not human things to do but they didn't really care. Danny was alive and well all he needed was a little control so he could stop breaking off the doorknob but that's all. (Jack was very pleased Danny must have gotten his strength) No he didn't but that's okay.
But to the rest of the world it seemed like Daniel Fenton had gotten more aggressive. More insane than usual, that leaves a very heavy strain on his friendships. He doesn't see anything wrong, hell Danny even asked his sister and she said he was fine.
The people Amity Park really didn't get it, at some point he ended up getting expelled due to "behavioral issues". His parents went to argue with the school board but they refused to even let them in. Before the rest of the Fentons could storm the building Jazz made a suggestion.
She would take Danny with her as she was going to Gotham U and Danny could go to the school there. Apparently the school has a strange reputation for collecting smart yet strange people. Easily sold, their parents agreed and would travel back and forth since they couldn't quite move their research just yet.
Several legal troubles later and boom, new Gotham Academy student have arrived. One that kept getting stares and side eyes from other students, probably because he called out the first person to talk to him. Some girl that was very poorly lying to his face.
At first he thought he would have to be alone in the annoying school but then he came across the love of his life. Love at first scolding! Damian Wayne was everything Danny could understand. Smart, loud and proud with no reason to lie. He was yelling at one of their CO writers for a group project.
Danny insisted on them being friends (one step closer to being lovers) and Damian didn't say no. He instead gave him ground rules and told Danny if he couldn't handle that he should get lost. As if Danny would say no, he was ready to follow him to the end of the world if needed.
So while trying to court the pretty boy there were a few problems. Damian was very popular, not just with girls but guys too. They kept bothering and budding into their alone time. Which, he wished he could do something about it but Damian told him that if someone was talking to him to just let them talk and he would handle them as quickly as possible.
No patience whatsoever. Danny would just stare them down from behind Damian until they either finished or he successfully scared them off. There was also the no touching rule, he can respect that but it seems some people couldn't. They clung on to his arm or something, thankfully Danny had permission to pull them off but he couldn't do anything else to them.
The list of issues could go on.
Damian on the other hand is very aware that he has picked up a puppy. Daniel Fenton was no human, he didn't present himself as suck and he got it confirmed by Duke's sight that Daniel was something other. He had somehow acquired an Eldritch Being attention and he insisted on fulling him.
As long as he was able to keep the being from rampaging the fellow student body Damian has successfully done his job. However Daniel was very attached to his side so he had been able to do much outside his civilian identity for a while. What to do now?
Jazz: Wow, haven't heard that sentence since we all moved out from home.
Dan: It has been missed
Dani: What's going on Danny?
Danny: First of all I want to thank you for coming to the meeting, as per the charder of our organization, I have provided substance in the form of pizza and soda.
Dan already eating: Much obliged.
Danny: Second of all, I done goofed.
Jazz: How big of a goof?
Danny: So big they could make a triple movie comfy series out of it.
Dani horrified whisper: That's a big goof.
Jazz: Explain what happened.
Danny: Okay, so remember how Mom and Dad sent out that email about clearing some storage space, and we had to call dibs on their inventions before the others did?
Dan: Yeah, I got the Fenton Specto-Messager and the Fenton-auto Coffe maker.
Dani: You only got it because you were awake at 1 am like the unemployed bum you are.
Dan: I'm self-employed!
Danny: Anyway, I got the Fenton Ghost Catcher. I wanted to use it to split myself and catch up on work. I figured now that I'm older, I would have a better understanding of my psych so the spilt would be more balanced. I was right! The only problem was I was too right.
Jazz: What does that mean?
Danny: The split made two perfect copies of me, Phantom and Fenton, without one having different personalities. They went about thier own lives for a week and then when we reunite our memories mixed. It turns out I may have done a lot during that week.
Dan: What you do? A crime?
Danny: Fenton got married to a hero. Phantom got married to some random civilian.
Dan: Oh, shoot. You should have committed a crime instead. Please don't tell me Phantom did a Soul Marriage.
Danny sadly: He did.
Jazz: Whats a Soul Marriage?
Dani: You know the phrase "until death do us part"? That is voided in a Soul Marriage- life or death can't come between them. They become soulmates and meet in every life, no matter how many reincarnations there are. Also, they can have offspring regardless of thier gender and species.
Jazz: Whoa. So who are the lucky men?
Danny: Red Robin and Tim Drake.
Dani: Daaaaaannnmmm. I didn't know you had game.
Danny: I didn't either but apparently I do. To much of it! What am I going to do!?
Meanwhile in the Batcave:
Dick: What do you mean you married two different men!?
Tim: It doesn't count, because I married them a Civilian and Cape
Peter trying to open up to the Batfamily while hiding that he is Spider-Man by saying increasingly incriminating shit like:
______
âI mean,â Peter said with a shrug, âI used to sell pictures of myself for money. Maybe I should do it again.â
Tim nearly choked on his drink.
Steph blinked. â...What kind of pictures?â
Peter snorted. âThe kind people paid stupid amounts for if I got caught in the middle of things.â
Dukeâs eyes widened in horror.
Peter kept going, blissfully unaware.
âI mean, it wasnât THAT bad. My... uh... sponsor made sure I was taken care of.â
Tim stared. âYour⊠sponsor.â
âYeah,â Peter said casually. âFound me when I was fourteen.â
Dickâs voice exploded through the still-active phone call Tim had forgotten to hang up.
âWHAT.â
âHonestly, he kinda ghosted me after he was done with me though.â
Steph made a strangled noise somewhere between sympathy and fury.
Duke looked physically ill.
âTo be fair,â Peter continued, âI DID crash hisââ
He stopped.
â...Uh. I mean, I was involved in a plane crash. Uh. His plane.â Peter rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. âHe felt bad afterward and offered me a deal which i turned down?â
âWhat kind of deal?â Duke whispered.
Peter froze for a second too long before replying, â...An internship?â
Nobody believed him.
Not even remotely.
âAfter he died I spiraled a little,â Peter continued quietly. âTrusted the wrong guy.â
Timâs stomach dropped.
Peter rubbed at his face tiredly.
âAnd then he uploaded a video of me to the internet.â
Jasonâs voice immediately cut through Dickâs phone speaker, where he had been listening in on.
âHE WHAT?â
Steph slapped both hands over her mouth.
Duke looked ready to commit murder.
Tim had gone eerily still in the way Bruce usually did.
Peter noticed the silence and finally started looking uncertain.
Determining he should probably just finish the story, he continued, âI tried to fix it, but I screwed everything up and lost everyone.â
The room fell into horrified silence.
Peter looked around. Realized far too late that he had completely obliterated the mood. And promptly panicked.
âANYWAY,â he announced way too loudly, âIâm broke again. Maybe I should start selling pics again, hahahaââ
âABSOLUTELY NOT,â Duke said instantly.
âNo,â Tim agreed immediately.
Somewhere on the other end of the line, Dick had gone suspiciously quiet with a darkened expression over his face that spelt trouble for the people that hurt his family, and Jason didn't feel like stopping him anytime soon.
And Peter....
Well, let's just say, maybe it might have been better for him if they found out he was Spider-Man.
Siren!Danny that fled/left his dimension for whatever reason and ends up in the DC universe. He's able to buy/make a fake identity and is living a relitively normal, if homeless, human life, but again hes a Siren, he needs to swim and sing.
To limit the chances of getting caught by the humans, and because Danny prefers colder water, Danny chooses to swim at night, so he can swim and sing to his hearts content.
His nightly swims are pulled to a stop when one night he gets caught and tangled in some trash. He even tried to phase through it, but it was coated in some weird glowing green liquid that could be mistaken as ectoplasm but wasn't.
Two days later, *insert hero of your choosing* stumbles upon Danny struggling in the net. Danny can't speak the human language when hes in Siren form, his vocal cords aren't made for it so all he can do is chirp, growl, and hiss. Because Danny is a Siren, the hero, after making sure Danny isn't in any serious danger, calls in Aquaman, hoping he could calm Danny down.
Except, Danny is nothing like anything Aquaman has ever met or seen before. He almost looks like a Merman, or a Siren, but not quite. Danny's form is more, not quite animalistic, but ethereal, and bigger in comparison to similar beings. What's more, Aquaman can't communicate, can't understand him. Danny's words are like if they were translated through 10 languages and then back into English before being layered over eachother repeatedly. It was disconcerting.
With little other options, Aquaman decides to take Danny with him, carefully removing the trash with the help of the other hero, before grabbing Danny's hand and leading him back to Atlantis.
Since Danny didn't have much else to do, he followed, mostly out of curiosity, but a also because Danny was missing being in a pod*.
Basically: Because Siren!Danny comes from a different dimension, his Siren Form is very different from the Siren's of the DC universe, and Aquaman can't communicate with him. Curious, and worried he might have neglected a subspecies of his subjects, Aquaman takes Danny in.
Can Be:
-Human/Siren Hybrid +Ghost
Or
-Pure Siren w/Humam Form +Ghost
Or
-Any other amalgamation you can concoct
*Pod: Siren family kind of like a Wolf Pack or Lion Pride but Sirens.
Damian: I must admit, I am befuddled, and find myself mystified on how to proceed.
Random Classmate looking at Danny: ....
Danny: He said "I'm not gonna lie, I'm confused as hell"
Random Classmate: Ohhhhh! Okay, so we got to lock in for this project. We can't afford to lose any aura points over this.
Damian looking at Danny: ....
Danny: She said, "We must put our utmost focus on this project. Failure would bring great shame upon us"
Damian: You do a wonderful job translating the common folk language.
Danny: Er, thanks? I'm glad I can help with something. Group projects are never my forte, and I always feel bad that I don't do an equal amount of work.
Damian: I have noticed your participation in group projects before. You are not contributing because you are not trying. It's due to your groupmates' exclusion and isolation of you.
Danny: Yeah, well, I'm poor and dumb. I only got accepted into Gotham Academy because my godfather pulled some strings. No one wants me around.
Damian cupping Danny's face: Never leave my side. I shall protect you in exchange for your translating abilities.
Danny: Um?????
Random Classmate: You guys gonna kiss? Cause Wayne might use fancy words, but even I understood he wants to rizz you up Fenton.
Danny: UM????
Damian tenderly: I have no knowledge of what rizz means. Enlightenment me, my dear.
Random Classmate hand over her chest: That's some Shakespearean shit right there.
Danny: ????????
Damian leaning in only a hair's breadth away from Danny's lips: Most Shakespeare plays end in tradgy.
Danny: What the hell is wrong with this school????
So, for whatever reason, the Justice League are fighting Phantom, thinking he's evil or suspicious and trying to bring him to the watchtower or whatever, but of course Phantom isn't cooperating, either not trusting the JL/being bitter they didnt show up to help Amity Park/whatever
UNTIL... One of Clockworks' notes show up, and Phantom pauses to read it, before surrendering to the JL, saying he'll follow them.
Now obviously, the JL are confused and suspicious, but eventually come to the (wrong) conclusion that Phantom is just a lackey or something, and that the person who wrote the note is the real mastermind manipulating this poor innocent super-powered teenager.
Danny finds this all either hilarious, or stupid. Probably both.
Damian, walking out the manor door in civvies with Purpose and a katana while his siblings watch in concern
Dick: uh, hey, baby bat, where ya off to?
Damian: I am attending an execution
Tim, looking up from his laptop for the first time in 6 hours: what
Steph: in civvies? I get not going as robin but at least wear your assassin gear
Tim: THATS WHAT WEâRE WORRIED ABOUT?
Steph: well yeah that stuffs meant to get blood on it
Damian: it is not the execution of anything that would bleed.
Dick: explain that
Damian, sighing with all the annoyance he can muster at his curious siblings: Do you recall my partner in the school project?
Duke: uh, you mean Danny? The teen dad transfer who you said set up a Prince and Princess Club with the kids in his apartment building, and hosts tea parties where he gives them political problems about unicorns and mermaids to discuss over scones?
Damian: yes. This Thursday the issue was a stuffed giraffe who brought tribute to the council, but the tribute snacks contained nuts. Danny tells me it was originally an attempt to make them refuse the snacks as a group, as the stuffed giraffe knowingly snubbed some of their members. But then it was pointed out that if the allergic children ate the snacks, there would be great medical risk, and the scenario escalated to an assassination attempt.
Dick: âŠso theyâre executing the stuffed giraffe.
Damian: yes. It is good to see the young trained early. Now if you will excuse me, I promised to be there. It is my duty as one trained with the sword to ensure Lord Longneck is dispatched properly for his attempts on Princess Bridget of apartment 114 and Prince Hunter of the top floorâs lives. Good day.
Looking for this really cute manga where a female office worker lives next to a father and daughter dragons. The young dragon girl is training in the human world to ascend, it's based off--I believe--japanese mythology. The little dragon is often in human form, white hair and blue eyes, grows flowers on horns when really happy; often when drinking hot chocolate.
Need help finding a fic: What I remember most from it was a scene where Clarisse was in protection mode, while Ares was throwing his domains at her like pokeballs, hoping she would choose one. (He also accidentally misgenders due to her short hair.)
Danny opens a coffee shop. He titles it the Human Bean, a play on "human being" and an excuse to have bean bags everywhere. Mostly, though, it's titled that out of spite because of a bad reveal: his parents no longer consider him a human being, so this is his own personal f-you to them.
Danny decided that the Human Bean must be open in a dangerous city in the country because he thrives on negative emotions. It's his ghost diet. Rather than put himself in negative situations, he goes to places that have a lot of conflict and eats on second-hand sadness, feelings of helplessness, and overall human distress.
He chooses Gotham because it's dangerous and has a big enough difference in classes within the same city, which means that those emotions are always present, but it's not so dangerous that he could die on a regular walk. He avoided Bludhaven despite the fresh, for-the-picking emotions. That place is crazy.
Despite his necessary ghost diet, Danny is unusually upbeat and friendly. In Gotham, that usually means he's either A. Mad B. A goon/upcoming rogue. Or C. was a front for something far worse. People weren't too willing to get close to his brightly colored business/home, especially since he set up right smack in the middle of Crime Alley. He fixed up the building and chose white, yellow, and blue as his main colors, standing out even more among the broken-down buildings with faded red.
Danny doesn't mind. As Ghost King, he has so much money that he might be the richest man in the world- he just has no paper trail for his funds, so he runs his coffee shop for fun and as an excuse for where he gets his money.
He values comfort above all and has various seats throughout the building, including bean bags, electric recliners, hammocks, swing chairs, and, of course, regular tables and chairs. He wants it to be a place where someone can spend hours regardless of age. The oddness of the setup grabs the attention of a group of middle school kids who wander in cautiously. They spread the word about how cool the place is, and more and more people started to show up.
He offers odd services, too: free wifi, free printing, various craft supplies, rentable gaming systems, and message machines for feet or backs (the last two cannot leave the building). He only charges for drinks; all food items are free. Though he only offers pastries, it's first come first serve and he makes something different every day. If he runs out of pastries, he refuses to make any more until the next morning.
He encourages people to share their woes with him. Much like a bartender, Danny knows things about everyone because they find it easy to tell the man when he's offering them a warm drink and free food. It's almost therapeutic for some to just babble to the man in the comfort of his little coffee shop. Everyone in Crime Alley feels helpless and anxious. Danny is so well fed.
Then one day, a man arrives wearing a suit that might be worth more than Danny's entire building. He orders one black coffee, picks one of the regular plush chairs in the far corner, and doesn't talk much. He just spends two hours typing away on a laptop with a peaceful look on his face. It's almost believable if the emotions Danny senses from him weren't nearly as black as a void. It's delicious.
Danny does everything he can to talk to the man, taking small "bites" of his emotions (He needs to just stand next to someone long enough to start absorbing emotions), but for him to truly feed, he needs them to either share their woes or allow physical contact. But it's like talking to a dumb brick wall. The man has an iron grip on his emotions through sheer will, so Danny can sense the meal but can't reach it.
He all but begs him to come back as they settled the bill. He says he might, but it doesn't sound very convincing. Despite all of Danny's very generous offerings of wares and services, he knows that a man with that suit likely can offer far better. Too bad. He was the best meal he had had in a while. Danny almost accepts he won't see him again until two weeks later, the man returns, once again nearly dripping in sadness but held together by the duct tape of his will.
Danny nearly trips over himself trying to get him to stay. He pays attention to other customers and provides service, but whenever he can, he finds himself wandering back to the same table. He's nearly overwhelmed by how delicious the negative emotions are, and winds up a flustered mess. If anything, this seems to amuse the man who slowly allows himself to get pulled into conversation. Danny learns he is a single father of two kids and is having a hard time with his two eldest.
Family issues are something Danny knows firsthand, and he finds himself offering advice, taking a seat at the table when his other customers leave, making them the only two people in the building. Danny makes them both a fresh pot of coffee and grabs some scones to share. Outside, Gotham decides it's a perfect time to let rain pour in buckets, and the man decides to wait it out with Danny, even though Danny had flipped the closed sign hours ago. By the time he left, Danny had eaten as much as he could, so much that he felt bloated.
This becomes a bi-weekly tradition, and Danny even starts marking his wall calendar in his room with a heart and "Tasty man comes in". Now, does that mean Danny doesn't know his name? Yes. Why? Because the man introduced himself, but Danny had been so busy taking sniffs of the air and savoring the depression, he didn't hear. It's too late to ask now. He avoids his name by using a nickname. Calls him B because he's pretty sure his name starts with that. B calls him D in turn. Danny is half convinced the other man doesn't know his name either.
This trend has persisted for 6 months. Still, Danny notices the man's depression slowly lessening, and soon, Danny realizes he's happier and actually brighter when he walks into the Human Bean. Which is great! Danny is happy for him! Except he's hungry. That was his favorite meal. What's going on!?
(Bruce Wayne is having trouble with his eldest kids again. Jason refuses to go to the Manor ever since Red Hood and Batman went on a mission together, and Dick is mad about something Bruce said. He isn't sure what it was, but midway through their conversation about Dick's relationship with Koriand'r, his son got angry and stormed out. This caused tension at the Manor with his other children, and Bruce just couldn't handle it. He had gone to a random cafe, somewhere discreet, just to hide from his family while he did some work. Just somewhere quiet and away from it all for a few hours. That's where he met Danny, a cute barista who was earnest and offered some advice on Bruce's dilemma. He tried the advice the other man gave him, and it somehow seemed to work; his sons had forgiven him.
(Bruce went back to the Human Bean more and more just to see) Danny. Somehow, the man made him feel better every time, like the sadness that had been clinging to him since his parents' death slipped away. It didn't take Bruce long to realize he had started to look forward to seeing Danny, as he felt better every time he did, and it showed in his everyday life. They even have nicknames for each other! Not too creative ones since it's just the first letter of their names, but still.)
( His kids were convinced he was hiding a therapist or lover, but Danny wasn't any of those things. He was just happiness personified. Everyone who came to Human Bean loved Danny and agreed his cafe felt like a home away from home. Now, does Bruce's heartbeat speed up whenever he sees the man? Does he feel like he could watch Danny run his cafe for the rest of his life because of how much life Danny had? Does he lie at night wondering what Danny is up to? Yes, but that doesn't mean love! It just means Bruce really needs to make more friends.)
Warning! I use a translator, English is not my native language.
It's a very small idea, but the gist is that Danny has accidentally become a luck magnet after years of Fenton-like luck. For example, he's started finding $20 on the sidewalk almost every day, he always remembers something useful at the right moment, and he usually gets excellent marks on all his tests. Even his literature test score is better than it could have been.
He liked it, even a lot, at first. But over time, it started to get boring. Even fighting with his bullies didn't really help. So after finishing school, Danny decided to make his life more challenging and enroll in Gotham. There, he definitely wouldn't get bored!
Three months after starting his studies at Gotham University, nothing had changed. Sometimes, no one tried to rob him at all, and if they did, they'd incapacitate themselves. And Danny realized: this was fate playing tricks on him.
Danny: Oh my God, by the Endless Realms and the damn ectoplasm, Fate, if you can hear this, then give me some trouble already!... Or give me some kind of sign or drop something on me, even a flower pot *stretches out his arms and closes his eyes*
Danny:...
Danny: *felt something fall into my hands and opened my eyes*
Damian: âŠ. * look of an angry cat who's been picked up against his will and is ready to kill *
Dick: Ugh that fight totally screwed up my back. I'm gonna be feeling that for a week.
Tim: Want me to hook you up with Danny? He works miracles, you'll feel better in no time.
Dick, blushing: Thanks but I have no interest in escorts, and its kinda weird if two brothers call the same one.
Damian: Tsk, disgusting Drake.
Tim: Escorts? Wait do you think Danny is an escort?!
Bruce: Is he...not?
Tim: Danny is my massage therapist! He works for the elite because he's professional, and keeps his mouth shut about who he works for. He could be massaging Lex Luthor, or Oliver Queen as we speak and we would never know about it.
Dick, Bruce, and Damian: Oh.
Dick: Our bad.
Tim: Seriously- Wait, is this why, when we started dating, Kon told me he considered calling for escorts and prostitutes cheating? Who all did you tell about Danny being an escort?!
Bruce: Just the Kents, I'll, um, go clear up that misunderstanding.
Tim: You better because if that spreads it could ruin Mine and Danny's reputation! Especially Danny's due to his usual clientele!
Dick: We're sorry~
Timm: Seriously why didn't you just ask me?!
Dick: Because nobody knows how to communicate in this family!
Damian: You've been here long enough to figure that out, Drake.
Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.
Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.
Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.
He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.
He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.
Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.
He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.
Okay.
He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.
It drives to a mansion.
Oh no.
It's Oliver Queen.
Oliver Queen put up that ad.
Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.
Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.
Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.
Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.
If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.
~~~~~~
Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.
Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.
Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.
Except that's a kid.
A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.
And...fuck.
Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.
So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.
Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????
Looks into the kid's background, quietly.
...
And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.
Fortunately, Oliver is notably eccentric and very rich. It's easy to have a room in the mansion set up for the kid, with a fully stocked en-suite, because what if Oliver wants a snack at 3am? (Given his vigilante pursuits, that's actually more likely than not.)
It's equally easy to put together a chef's uniform and have it delivered. And if Danny wears the uniform while he's waiting for his first paycheck to come through, who does it hurt?
(The kid's getting an advance on his first month's pay. Danny clearly needs money; Oliver doesn't even care if the kid vanishes with his advance. Wait, no, that's not right. He cares, because that means the kid's left behind whatever support Oliver can sneak to him.)
The kid doesn't vanish, and the food only gets better. The first time Danny cooks for him and Dinah, she insists on meeting the chef. After dinner, she pins Oliver down and demands answers. She does not like said answers, especially when it comes to what Oliver's found about the secret government agency.
Danny becomes a familiar sight around the mansion. When Oliver calls in Roy about the staggering violations of the Meta Protection Act committed by the GIW, the two boys take to each other like slightly wary cats.
(Oliver expects to find them both curled up on the couch and purring at some point.)
Roy insists that they take the information to the Justice League, and Oliver agrees. He's got pull with the government, but not enough to shut down an entire pseudo-military branch.
After his presentation, most of the Justice League are incensed at the horrors that slipped intangibly through their nets. Batman, though? Batman's a father. And he's about to go nuclear on the GIW.
As a live-in personal chef Danny can also make his own hours, mostly. Some meals are scheduled here and there (especially when Oliver has business associates over) but the odd hours of businessmen and whatever-Dinah-does-at-night-in-fishnets-Danny-is-not-going-to-ask means that most of the food is prepared ahead of time and portioned out into ready-to-go meals.
Some are in microwaveable containers or re-heat in the oven dishes that each have a label on them saying how much time at what heat. Thereâs lots of easy to grab snacks in the fridge, including fresh fruit, yogurt parfaits, hard boiled eggs, and veggie wraps. Thereâs a snack counter off to the side of the kitchen that has jars of cookies, dried fruits, various nuts, and energy bars.
Danny doesnât even hardly leave the mansion for the first month - mostly because heâs scared of getting caught but also because heâs starting to have fun learning to make interesting things. (Who knew that baking powdered milk creates a dry powdered version of brown butter he can add into his baking to enhance flavors? He sure didnât until two days ago, and the cake he just made is so much richer without changing the texture!)
Relaxing doesnât come easy. Heâs been running for a while, and these people are nice but strange. Maybe thatâs just how most rich people are. But then his bossâ son shows up.
Roy isâŠ. intriguing.
The guy is a little older than Danny and very obviously has experienced hardships. Different hardships than Danny has, but the effects are similar. Neither spoke much around the other, but watched carefully. Both kept an eye on the exits and twitched at unexpected movements. And one night when Danny walked invisibly through a wall into the kitchen for a snack he caught Roy filling a backpack with long lasting non-perishable foods. The backpack also contained a change of clothes and first aid kit.
It was a bug-out bag. Very similar to the one Danny had grabbed through his floorboards when he ran. The one that heâd recently refilled and hid inside a wall just in case this job fell through.
He wouldnât fault Roy for leaving, if thatâs what he felt was necessary. Danny knew he and Oliver didnât always get along. Heâd overheard raised voices through the walls a few times; he couldnât hear the words but their tones were clear. He understood the need to have paths open.
But he still gave a sigh of relief when Roy showed up to breakfast the next day (French toast with grilled peaches) and didnât leave the following week either. They werenât on friendly terms, but Roy was polite at least, and Danny was starting to get used to the surly presence.
He kept track of what foods went missing most often when Roy was around and stocked up on those more. He liked cantaloupe and honeydew but never touched the watermelon. He ate extra portions of the chili crisp tofu with rice and edamame one dinner, and even more of the green chili enchiladas the next, but barely picked at the honey ham and brussel sprouts later in the week.
Watching Roy kind of became a new hobby. Sure, he also tracked the eating habits of Oliver and Dinah, but they praised everything he made and were so open with compliments it felt a little forced. Like they wanted to make sure he stayed and thought the room, clothes, and not reporting him to the government wasnât enough to keep him here. Roy never said anything he didnât mean. He was blunt but not rude, open with his true emotions but not loudly expressive.
He felt real. It was reassuring. And Danny could relax around him in a way he couldnât around his bosses. Danny felt the need to look and talk professionally around Oliver and Dinah - they paid him after all, and he was gonna do his best to mind his manners and appear happy and grateful around them. Smile back and laugh at their jokes, add lots of please and thank yous, and constantly reassure them he was doing well and didnât need any extra accommodations. It was taxing.
Around Roy he didnât need to smile politely or look happy, he could let his face fall into an exhausted slump and not get questioned or pitied. Neither expected anything from the other and thatâs not something Danny had ever experienced before.
lol I was just thinking about this story on my drive to the grocery store and then I see someone reblogged it. Thanks!
I was thinking about Danny making some cookies when Lian waddles in following the smell and she starts asking a ton of questions - but like how small toddlers do, by pointing and making questioning noises and maybe saying the few words they know.
So Danny drags her high chair over to where heâs stirring the next batch and lets her watch. He starts explaining as he goes, making commentary and answering Lianâs âquestions.â
âAh?â she points at the bowl.
âThis is the dry mix,â Danny says, âItâs flour, soda, and salt. Not the kind of soda you drink though, this is baking soda.â
âAh.â
âYes, youâre right. It wouldnât be fun to drink. Even if you mixed it with something. It could hurt your tummy.â
âummy.â
âYep. Donât wanna hurt your tummy. Itâs fun to mix with other things though. Not just in food. You can use baking soda to make toothpaste! Did you know that?â
âToof?â
âYeah toothpaste. Or a craft volcano. Baking soda and vinegar foam up really cool. A lot easier to clean up than other chemicals too. In fact it helps as a cleaning agent. Iâve used it a lot.â
âAh~hh?â
âOh all sorts of ways. The foaming reaction is good at getting tough grime out of fabric, that helped when I was homeless. Good at getting blood out too, but you gotta be quick or itâll stain. You canât mix vinegar with other cleaning chemicals though, like bleach. Thatâs a good way to gas yourself by accident. Learned that the hard way.â
âAaah!!â
âHaha okay okay thatâs boring, got it. This part is called the wet ingredients. I know the butter looks solid right now and sugar is a hard crystal, but both melt into liquids real easy so theyâre considered a wet ingredient. Adding the eggs-â
âAAAH!â
âOh do you wanna crack the eggs? Here lemme get a bowl for you⊠okay I know you donât have fine motor skills yet so you can just whack it here and Iâll pick out the shell.â
The sound of a messy crack fills the kitchen followed by baby giggles and Danny chucking along.
âGood work!! Here lemme just wipe your hands. Thatâs a mess you donât wanna get on your face or clothes. Even though you know how to clean it now. Okay, so adding the eggs and vanilla, then chocolate chips and pecans.â
âPeee!!â
âHahaha, yeah same letters, but can you say can?â
âPee?â
âCan. Pee. Can. Pee. Can. Peeee?â
âCAN!!â Lian shouts.
âPerfect!! Pee-can!â
âPee-can!â
âHey thatâs it! You learned a new word! Here, you can have some chocolate chips and pecans as a reward. Iâm gonna finish mixing this. Lemme tell you, having a kitchen-aid is a game changer. So much easier than stirring everything by hand. Makes me enjoy baking more. Didnât do this much growing up cuz everything mechanical got taken apart and reutilized so baking and cooking was always a big ordeal. And the toxic chemicals in the fridge didnât help matters. A lot more volatile than baking soda and vinegar, Iâll tell you that. Iâve heard people say baking is just chemistry but itâs sooo much easier! And itâs so much nicer being in a kitchen where the only reactions I have to worry about will make a mess or slightly burn something instead of chemical burns and poisoning. I donât even wanna mention the hot dogs!â
Lian stopped listening or caring after she got the pile of treats, enjoying munching on some and throwing others as far as toddler arms could.
Danny doesnât know Roy is around the corner listening the whole time.
Guys, hear me out. Dead tired. Roommates. Both in university together, not currently dating but everyone assumest they are. Timâs still Wayne Industries CEO [and the Drake bussiness, but let's be honest he has someone else running that place]
Tim is REALLY bad at taking care of himself or the house because heâs got CEO stuff and also vigilante stuff so Danny picks up what he can around the house.
He cooks meals.
He makes Tim lunch every day.
One day, Tim forgets his lunch
Danny marches into the Wayne Industries building, fresh out of a lab at Gotham U, holding an embarrassingly cute lunchbox.
He shocks the receptionist when he says, âHi, Iâm looking for Tim Drake? He forgot his lunch at home.â
Tam leans against the door jam to Tim's office. He's on a call, and can't visibly react to her, but he can feel her eyes. Judging. Teasing. Calculating.
He wants to shove his lunch box into a drawer, but the EMEA lead is chatting about the roll out of satellite internet to the region and Tim actually cares about that.
There's a ping from his personal phone. Then another.
Tim risks a look at Tam. She's grinning at him, her phone balanced on her cheek. Oh, she did not.
A third ping.
His phone vibrates from a call. Tim shoves it off his desk, the carpet absorbing the sounds.
The last 10 minutes of the call are agonizing. Tam's still staring at him, ignoring her own work to torture Tim. When they finally finish, Tim slams down his laptop to reduce distractions and looks at her.
"What?"
"A cute boy brought you lunch in a cute space bag and you ate all of it."
"Danny's a good cook."
"He implied you live together."
"We do."
Tam slams her hands on his desk. "Why haven't you told me you have a boyfriend you live with? I thought we were friends, Tim."
"Danny is not my boyfriend, and I have mentioned him. He's my roommate at Gotham U."
"Tim, roommates don't usually make each other lunch and hand delivery it."
"I've good food issues, he's got food issues. This works for both of us." On the floor, his phone vibrates again. "What did you do?"
"Sent a photo of the lunch bag and you eating to Dick."
Okay, could be worse.
"And the photo of Danny from the front desk. He still had his googles from lab around his next. He's perfect for you."
"We're not dating!"
"Yet," Tam calls, already leaving his office. She's texting something. It better not be to Dick.
Tim's phone rings for a third time. He scrambles to pick it up, but it's not Dick calling. It's Danny. He picks it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey! At the store. What do you want for dinner?"
"I'm being teased at work," Tim offers.
"Comfort food it is then. Pizza and beer."
Meal planning is one of those coupley things too, isn't it? And Danny knowing his comfort foods.
Tim looks through his open door, to where Tam is sitting at her desk, frantically texting.
He has a feeling he needs to ask Danny out before someone does it for him.
i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith iâd call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him
âLook here pal, I know my religion, and this ainât it. Whatever this guy is, theyâre clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?â
