the thoughts of hell that carry me home
9-1-1 (TV), Eddie Diaz/Evan Buckley | mid-season 8 | 28k explicit
He should be glad of it. He doesn’t want people to know he’s struggling, and they don’t. But why doesn’t Buck know? He’s always known, always seen through Eddie’s carefully constructed walls and carved himself a door into them. Even when Eddie resisted, even when he pushed back, Buck ducked his head and shoved through and found the tender hurt Eddie was guarding, cupped his hands around it and held until it didn’t ache so much.
And now Eddie’s bleeding internally, swollen with regret, and Buck doesn’t say a thing. Eddie can’t ask him to. If he opens his mouth, he might just start screaming.
~
There's distance between Eddie and Buck. Eddie isn't falling apart. These are two equally true statements.
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