Benjamin Franklin would be like, "You have these things called 'condoms' that give a good chance of preventing pregnancy and all manner of... French diseases, and you can find them at the village store? And women are not widely condemned for having sex with men? Is this heaven?"
Then we could tell him about widespread vaccination, that we've eliminated smallpox, that we'd gone to the moon, and that we'd had a Black president. Also give him some pizza.
He'd emerge about six months later from his orgy to roll up his sleeves and help us keep the Republic. Between affairs.
