#lizardlife for... my lizardlife. has pictures of snails too.
#lizardwriting the various things i write [ao3]
#good sounds music recs
#lizardreading bookstuff
#about me oh so relatable
#fav the best posts on the internet. or something.
writing: ocverse
aka the greater boston polycule [ao3 link]
slice of life shenanigans without a big narrative arc. they're just vibing.
notable tags & links:
platonically married goes polycule: #otp: you stop the world #otp: a 1000 years #mika tag #gabriel tag #kat tag [otpoverboard] [your ship as textposts]
the love is requited they're just idiots. so much pining, with a side of grief: #otp: bury your heart #july tag #daria tag #fiona tag
masochistic sub and mean sadistic dom. slightly dysfunctional, highly undernegotiated: #otp: sleep paralysis #fia tag #helena tag
the important side characters: #aaron tag #quinn tag #eleonor tag #ruby tag
writing: warcrimes au
aka the evil mirrorverse [ao3 link]
(yes one day i might give it a proper title)
grimy scifi setting, the evil terran empire vs the scrappy rebels. for now almost exclusively focused on a mad scientist war criminal, because she's just the coolest.
some gore, some fluff, some drama, and a whole lot of unhinged smut.
notable tags & links:
#warcrimes au [overview post] [incorrect quotes]
mad scientist and her favorite chew toy. unethically toxic, unhealthy power imbalance, and horny af: #otp: break me once more #helena tag #fia tag [otpoverboard] [your ship as textposts] [kink overview]
friends-to-???-to-enemies. two sides of the same coin: #otp: queens gambit #helena tag #addie tag
writing: other
#fnv au courier mika & her wasteland adventures. silly idea that somehow turned into a bunch of fics
#comms for me all the amazing art i got of those idiots (it's mostly mika and helena lol)
and just to note, i am always super fucking elated about random asks and or tag games and shit when it comes to my idiot squad.
Sister Dee Alba Rhee 😏🩸for @casuallycryptidcider!! Your hostess with the mostess, presenting the upcoming Mx. American Cainite contest for the Cincinnati Sabbat's Festivo dello Estinto!
Thank you so much for the commission, I wanna hear all about this contest when it's over!
In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.
You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.
What do you do with a dying world? Don’t take action and it’ll just shrivel into oblivion. Let’s reject such a fate and go deeper, where flesh no longer matters and layer by layer you’re undone. The world is beautiful no matter what state it’s in. At least it’s alive.
Fia can't stop scratching, despite Helena's scolding. It's fine, though - it's not like she's breaking the skin.
fandom: original work (ocverse - warcrimes au)
category & rating: f/f, mature
wc: 1k
prompt: body horror (june 2) for @unwholesomeocweek
additional cw: mild gore (although that's probably implied with the body horror already)
---
"Will you stop that," Helena says while handing me a fresh cup of tea.
"Stop what?" I look up from the book, and she raises an eyebrow. Of course I know what she is talking about. "Oh, I'm barely touching it."
"If you say so."
Ignoring the eye-roll implied in her voice, I turn my attention back to reading and carefully sip on my cup.
A while later, she scolds me again. "Sofiya, stop scratching. Please."
"But it itches."
"This won't help."
"You don't know that," I grumble, decidedly not stopping the scratching. This damn rash on my arm has been plaguing me for a week now, and yes, rationally, I know this doesn't make it better - but in the short run, it feels really, really good. And half the time, I don't even notice I'm doing it anyway. I have to scratch. It's fine, no big deal.
Helena isn't a fan of my little compulsion, though. "Maybe you should just peel off your skin. That might stop the sensation," she suggests dryly.
"Very funny."
"No, I'm serious. With the way you're scratching, there shouldn't be too much left anyway. Simply peel it off in one go, saves some time."
"You are so gross," I reply with a chuckle and get up to go to the bathroom, dropping off our empty cups in the kitchen on the way.
Washing my hands, I'm a bit woozy, and stare at myself in the mirror. Something feels off, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe I'm getting a headache. It's probably nothing.
When the damn itch starts itching again, I shove up my sleeve and rake my nails over my inner forearm extensively. Fuck, this feels so nice. And at least here, Helena doesn't see me, and I can scratch in peace. It's fine, it's not like I'm breaking the skin or anything, it's all superficial.
I stop my movement without pulling my hand away. Of course, I could break the skin, I just have to press my nails in a bit more… There we go, surprisingly easy - like sharp little knives through butter. It doesn't even bleed much, and almost doesn't hurt. Without thinking, I dig my nails in even more until there is a small flap hanging off.
And then I pull.
After the first few inches, the realization suddenly sets in, and I stare at my arm in horror - but I can't stop pulling. "No, no, no, no," I murmur to myself, getting more freaked out by the second. Why am I doing this, what the hell is wrong with me, no no no no, why can't I stop, I-
When I have pulled off a two-inch-wide chunk from the crook of my arm to my wrist, I rip it off unceremoniously and drop it into the sink. The moist sound it makes when touching the ceramic hits something deep inside me, and I gag.
What the fuck.
Eyes wide in horror, heartbeat pounding in my ears, I stare at my arm, then at the bloody chunk in front of me, and back at my arm. The flesh shimmers wet and red, and I can literally see the tendons move.
What is wrong with me, why did I do this, how did I do this, this can't be happening, I-
Breathing faster, panic rising inside me, I'm getting dizzy. Am I going to faint? With the last bit of semblance of clear thought, I sit down on the ground, back leaning against the tub, and stare at my arm. I don't want to look at it, but I can't pull my eyes away, even though it feels like I'm about to puke.
Why doesn't it hurt?
"Helena?" I croak, voice trembling. "Helena, can you please come real quick?" I repeat, calling louder, and I am this close to bursting into tears.
After an eternity, I finally hear her footsteps. Helena knocks and enters, frowning when she sees me sitting on the ground.
"What's wrong?"
"This!" I gesture toward my arm - isn't it obvious?
"Tell me what happened," she asks softly, kneeling down beside me.
"I- I scratched, and then it… it came off," I answer. I can hear the panic in my voice. "And I couldn't stop pulling. I just… I couldn't stop, and then I ripped it off, and-" Choking back a sob, I stare at my arm, and a few tears run down my face.
"It's not bleeding much, is it?"
"Helena, please do something," I beg, ignoring her question. "Please. I'll never scratch again. But please fix this. Please. I'm really freaking out here."
There has to be something she can do. Anything. She's a doctor. A genius.
"No more scratching?" she asks gently, and I nod vigorously.
"I promise. No more scratching. But please fix this."
Helena looks at me silently for a few long moments, then she suddenly pulls down my sleeve over my bloody arm. "You'll be fine."
Baffled, I stare at her. "What…?"
"It will wear off in an hour or two."
"Helena, what are you talking about, there's a chunk of my skin missing!"
"Sofiya." She pats my leg, completely unbothered, while I'm still close to hyperventilating. "It's not real."
I blink at her, mouth agape, trying to process her words.
"Your skin is completely intact, save for a few scratch marks," she adds calmly, and slowly the realization sets in.
Another few long, silent seconds, then I gulp. "What did you do?"
Way too casually for my taste, Helena shrugs. "Put a light hallucinogen in your tea earlier."
"Oh, you can't be fucking serious." Disbelief and annoyance instantly replace the panic inside me.
She gets up and crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Well, you didn't leave me much choice with your incessant scratching, so I had to resort to something a bit more… crude. A little shock treatment." I can't believe this woman. "I am very curious to see if it has a long-term effect on your behavior."
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lizardwriting pinglist [ask/comment/dm to get on it]: @voidthing @ark-inkweaving @aalinaaaaaa
i don't even gaf about shipping discourse because i'm a big boy and a bad person for other worse reasons but if i can be real for a moment "proship DNI" in bio means nothing to me. if you want to keep me out you're going to need to line your blog with salt and iron or rat poison or something.
actually if i were to be less flippant and more brutally honest with you all my disdain for it stems from how much of it is just a thinly veiled excuse for people to fight about their fictional relationship preferences or simply for the sake of arguing without any investment in the reality of what they're claiming to represent and then take pride in their empty, performative activism. i still recommend the rat poison though.
girl help they are calling me a pedophile sympathiser in the notes for trying to point out that being disgusted by something is not the same as meaningfully working to prevent and safeguard against it by critically engaging with the complex reality of it. can i please just have the rat poison.
hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you
you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid
I was reminded of the Sin City books yesterday while browsing Vinted, must be well over 15 years since I last read them... May need to find them again for re-read tbh..
