warranty plus for fucking shit up

hannah, 29, she/her all i know is be gay, complain about work, eat bueno bar and lie

[catchymemes]

@goth-queen

[mitstrawburi]

I finally got around to hanging my single most insane crochet project and now I need everyone on the planet to look at it <3

[grezzirossi]

🍕?! from this map line LW has :

[jisuto]

[lowpolyanimals]

Grey from Creature Kitchen

[fallout-lou-begas]

it's finally that time of the year again for the clinically depressed newscaster describing february with disco elysium music

[fallout-lou-begas]

what is the single best line in this video

it's a month that doesn't hold up life any better than it really is

something great happened here but it's over with and that's the way february is

like the desperate flinging off of something that's not true anymore

the expedition is getting desperate. people are throwing things aside

this looks like a place where people who are being punished are sent

nobody is tap dancing or breaking into a rogers and hammerstein song

theyre just barely able to get across the street and hunker over a bowl of chili

most of the birds who can afford it have flown to florida

it's as if there's some awful truth out there in the trees

something that's been bothering you for a long time is out there. what is it?

to hide the bleakness of feb., man invented valentine's day. also mardi gras.

what other month can host a holiday designed to remind us we're all gonna die?

Voting ended onFeb 11

character limit forced me to paraphrase

[orcboxer]

damn this bus stop is perfect. now if we could just find somebody to stand upwind of everybody and smoke a decrepit cigarette they found in a tomb

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

[probablysomethingtm]

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

[medievaljournalist]

[medievaljournalist]

im so nervous what do i say

[crazysodomite]

Oh my god

[madhyanas]

cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today

[clusterduck28]

[hug-your-face]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[hug-your-face]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think

[yuriartillery]

hold on let me try to invent a version of myself who can get us out of this mess [holds really still for a minute and a half and then turns to you with a flat affect] we probably should have killed ourselves an hour ago

[vedajuno]

Ah, yes, I see you’ve taken notice of the fine knight I keep dangling in a big gilded cage above my evil throne. Quite the pretty little ornament the would be savior makes, wouldn’t you agree~?

What? No, it IS a big cage. That’s- it’s the standard size for a knight’s cage I’m pretty sure. NO I’m not going to invest in 500 square feet of dungeon, it’s ONE knight! I’m pretty sure knights live in hovels in the wild anyways which is basically the same- Look, the cage is quite literally gilded. He loves the cage! He loves obediently preening in the cage! Yeah well, when you capture your own knight you can keep it in whatever size castle you want to, but this one’s mine. Especially since you’re so obviously jealous of me and my cute and awesome knight anyway.

[mikimuun]

He loves the cage!

[xenosagaepisodeone]

are we not feeling very pious today, brother lionel

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

Shout out to the phrase “I’m going to become the joker” for capturing a very specific and real emotion

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

Shout out to Portuguese for verbing this!!

[star01007]