tongue-tied & oh so squeamish @logicallyillogical - Tumblr Blog

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i fucking love when ppl infodump about their interests to me like yes pls be my friend and share your favorite things with me like i cant imagine a better way of interacting with ppl than enthusiastically sharing the things that bring you joy

thestateonmtv

So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment

beachdeath

usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though

foeofcolor

Only day you can rb this

foeofcolor

This post is like a fucking rosetta stone I've had the same theme song tagged in at least 6 languages so far

orpheuslament

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

krippe90

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

orpheuslament

not a female 👍

orpheuslament

pause everybody take notes. real trans ally

hustlerose

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

anonforlackofabettername

Truly one of best parts of Artificial Condition is that ART embraces its new designation and introduces itself as Art to Tapan and the rest of the clients at the end of the book. There is no actual record of its official name in this book. To Murderbot it is only ART, the Asshole Research Transport. Perihelion who? No idea. Not important.

ecstasydemon

the part of adulthood that no one ever warns you about is the amount of surfaces you need to acquire to put your things and trinkets on

spectre-squared

and then those surfaces get DUSTY 😭😭😭

phaeton-flier

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

phaeton-flier

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

theaudientvoid

centrally-unplanned

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

theabigailthorn

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

wordfather

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

wordfather

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

wordfather

welcome to the icelandic apple selection. what color will you have

wordfather

okay so APPEARANTLY this is just an iceland thing? i looked it up and we dont grow apples here commercially. we get them imported and there's such few options that the stores rarely bother to name them. thats why, culturally, we just call them by colors.

i feel like we all learned something today. i learned that im hungry for apples with names and you learned that iceland is 3 apples tall. the world continues to surprise and enlighten

beardedmrbean

praguegirl

they just don’t do any classic homophobic children moments like this anymore

coughloop

There was really no winning that one

radioactivepeasant

Well out of the blue I just remembered today the time I accidentally joined the cast of a production of The Princess Bride….in the middle of the production.

lafemmedefandom-blog

And you’re gonna just leave us there

radioactivepeasant

I mean, if you guys wanna hear the story, it is a pretty fun one

lafemmedefandom-blog

radioactivepeasant

Okay, so this is what happened,

Some years ago (6? 7 years ago, I think?) there was a pirate exhibit at the state museum. We had actual artifacts from the Queen Anne’s Revenge, creepy wax dummies, historical costumes etc, it was awesome.

I was really into Pirates of the Caribbean at the time, because I played the mmorpg with some high school friends of mine (and some of their parents sometimes, who also got addicted to it), so of course when they announced “Pirate Night at the Museum”, in which visitors were encouraged to dress up, I was over the moon. So I’m there with my friends, my parents, and my sisters, running around the exhibits after the museum is technically closed.

They replaced the creepy wax dummies with people in costume at this point, and it was pretty epic.

The highlight of the night would be a showing of The Princess Bride. The movie would play on the big screen while actors would be on a stage below, acting the whole thing out word for word and shot for shot as it happened. Any audience members who knew lines were encouraged to shout them out as they heard them.

Here’s the thing. My parents love that movie. Like you don’t understand they were quoting it to us in its entirety when we were still in highchairs. I could reenact the battle of wits scene before I ever actually watched it. So my family sits in the front row, behind the railing, quoting everything right along with the actors and film.

And then comes the part in the Pit of Despair with the Albino. And the cast didn’t have anyone on the stage with Wesley. I don’t know if the Albino couldn’t make it that night, or if they’d never cast him, but it was really weird to see Wesley just lying on the stage awkwardly while the Albino is supposed to be treating his injuries.

I started twitching. My mom and sister look at me and they’re like “do it.” And one of the ushers is like “you know the part? do it”

So I launch over the railing, run up onto the stage, and take over from there, doing my best impression of the character. Being that I was a 5′2″ blonde girl in a corset and puffy sleeves, Wesley had some trouble keeping a straight face.

Then they got to the scene with Humperdink telling the guard to clear out the Thieves’ Forest, and…they didn’t have the guard either. So my twin sister up in the audience is like “hang on, I got this” and then she launches over the railing to make sure Humperdink isn’t just sitting awkwardly talking to thin air.

This meant that yes, I got bopped on the noggin by Fezzik, and yes, my sister got to do the “Give us the key.” “What key?” “Fezzik, tear his arms off.” “Oh, you mean this key!”

They made up stay on stage and take a bow with the cast when it was over, it was hilarious. Then the next year, since they still had the exhibit, the museum called my sister and was like, “So….that was super fun last year. Do you and your sister want to be audience plants and do it again this year?”

The answer, naturally, was heck yes. Since we had new volunteers playing Count Rugen and Inigo this time, this also led to my sister actually choreographing their fight scene herself. Which was awesome.

esser-z

My favorite part is that this is entirely in tone for Princess Bride.

razielim

imagine you're don abene for a second.

you encounter a secunit for the first time.

it saves your life in a situation where no one else would have been fast, strong, agile, and composed enough to do so.

your security team is immediately more alarmed by its presence than the attack that is obvious to you as the bigger issue at the moment

they insist it's dangerous and struggle to relax enough to take their weapons off of it

then a combatbot attacks your group

somehow this secunit, much smaller than the bot, unarmored, without any heavy weaponry on its person, manages to take it down. some real jaw-dropping action, all over in less than a minute

then it leaps into a room with two combatbots and not only survives, but it gets your unconscious friend out alive

then it immediately comes to your own rescue, disabling impressive combat armor

it then is dead-set on killing your attacker who is already immobilized and harmless

clearly this is an incredibly competent and dangerous and powerful person

then miki tells you that it IS rin and you finally put it together that not only is this person competent in the field, but it is also calling all its own shots and has truly come here all on its own and volunteered its services to help and protect you without needing to be asked or ordered

so this person is incredibly competent, dangerous, powerful, AND kind, AND fiercely protective, AND reassuring, AND intelligent, AND selfless

and it's still coming up with great ideas and still thinking proactively about how it's going to face down or distract another combatbot as though there's no doubt in the world that it, still bleeding heavily, still unarmored and barely armed, is ready for another round with a terrifying machine that appears to be nothing BUT armor and weapons

so you step forward to help treat its injuries

and it jerks back a step with the single most frightened face you've ever seen, as though you had lifted your arm to inflict pain and it was helpless to stop you

behind you, even miki can read the devastating expression that's breaking your heart and says "abene won't hurt you, secunit"

where did the fearsome fighter from moments ago disappear to?

who did this to it?

razielim

@marry-and-mirthful — #I can't stop thinking about how she must have like. reworked things in her head #in the time post the betrayal but pre the flinch #because oh ok. that's why they acted Like That. they were afraid it would realize they were working against the group #that's why they pointed weapons at it (even though it was just helping) and said it was untrustworthy (...look at it) #they were scared because THEY were the bad guys #and then. then. then it flinches away from her and then __freezes__ #and things are broken again. because it expects HER to hurt it. not the fuckers who were working against it. her #her who it saved. her who it got So So So hurt protecting #and. that has Implications. #and then Miki.....and she SEES IT from its eyes #so she KNOWS it wasn't killed no matter what it looks like (did it set it up to look like it died? why?) #and then everyone she tells says SHE WAS LUCKY it was dragged into space #because it is Dangerous and oh God you were basically Alone With It and are you sure you are not injured and #and people are talking like it is half weapon and half radioactive waste #and the flinch makes sense. the reactions make sense again. this wonderful person who (DID NOT) die for her #has been treated like __this__ for its entire existence. no wonder it was scared. she learns that this one was clearly not under control #and that is considered DANGEROUS. that it being free to act as it wills is worth ringing all the alarm bells and destroying it #in as fast and brutal a way as is possible. that its existence is literally the stuff of horror stories #it saved her. it got all but torn to shreds for them for seemingly no reason except that they were in danger #people talk about how much you have to restrain them to successfully take them apart for “Decommission'

yeah. okay. ouch. i deserved that. fair's fair hurting me like this after i've hurt a thousand others and counting. this part especially ow ow ow:

#and things are broken again. because it expects HER to hurt it. not the fuckers who were working against it. her #her who it saved. her who it got So So So hurt protecting

#murderbot

charaznablescanontoyota

words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening

ryannorth

much to consider

ellaandtheocean

Humpback whales breaching: gorgeous, majestic, graceful, embodies all the strength and beauty of the ocean

Minke whales breaching: I will launch myself out of this ocean like a f***ing surface-to-air missile to seek and destroy my enemies

gallusrostromegalus

I remember an interview with a guy that did the camera work for nature documentaries and he said that baleen whales like these guys were the scariest things to shoot because “They’re the size of a train, they can suddenly appear out of nowhere in dark or murky water and they don’t make a goddamn sound. I was absolutely sure that one of them was going to hit me and well, ‘that’s all folks!’. Gave me a lot of perspective on how I handle myself when filming smaller animals now.”