but i wish it was a dragon

hi I'm Lonely. they/them. multi-fandom, lover of random art, and will reblog anything that makes me laugh. anime/asian drama sideblog is lonelybutihaveanime

[basuralindo]

So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.

[basuralindo]

Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)

[basuralindo]

ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.

[basuralindo]

Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace

[basuralindo]

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

via @kagaminilen

[mysteryteacup]

[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]

[ardanelvilyafeanturi]

Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic

[a-bit-too-dyscrasic]

Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful

[basuralindo]

Holy fuck my job got fan art

[vagisil]

the people yearn for nonplastic fabrics

[memorycycle]

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

[strangestcase]

”Gay men don’t have toxic masculinity” have you ever seen what Dorian Gray is up to

[strangestcase]

Dorian Gray is living proof that openly bisexual men that crossdress for fun can also be dumb fuck misogynists with a dudebro podcast

[lonelybutihaveacat]

if dorian gray was in a modern setting Lord Henry would 100% be a podcast bro

[dajo42]

no, mother... you should have read my supposed "school field trip" permission slip closer.... i foresaw your betrayal a mile away.... im afraid, mother, it is you who has been sold to one direction

[sabertoothwalrus]

I made yeto’s pumpkin/goat cheese/salmon soup and it’s changing my life a little bit, like holy SHIT this yeti knows what he’s doing

[sabertoothwalrus]

heyyyyy it’s october again which means it’s time for

✨Yeto’s Superb Soup✨

I had posted a recipe in the comments last year, but I decided to make a better version

Ingredients:

one 2lb kabocha (you can use an equal-sized pie pumpkin, but in my opinion kabocha has a much butterier texture and nuttier flavor. Also the yeti uses kabocha in the game so it gets points for accuracy)

1-3 carrots (last year the store had the fattest carrot I had ever seen. This year I needed 3 carrots to match that volume. Listen to your heart)

2-3 celery stalks (equal to the amount of carrot)

1/2 white onion

6 garlic cloves

(optional) 2 habanero peppers

mirin/cooking wine

1 box of fish stock (if you want it vegetarian, use kelp dashi stock)

1 box of vegetable stock

4oz goat cheese. I’ve tried making this with cream cheese and feta, but the flavor really doesn’t land right without the goat cheese.

1 cup? (<- it was eyeballed) heavy cream

.7lb filet of salmon

??tbsp olive oil

6 tbsp butter

a few pinches of flour

thyme, paprika, nutmeg, red pepper flakes salt & pepper

(optional) gronions to garnish

Step 1) Preheat oven to 400°F/204°C. Slice and deseed kabocha

Step 2) coat the pumpkin in a thin layer of olive oil. Season with thyme (I like dried thyme but fresh is better!), ground nutmeg, paprika, red pepper flakes, salt & pepper.

Bake for 30-50 minutes until it’s soft enough to scoop off the rind with a spoon. Thinner kabocha might only take 30 minutes, and thicker kabocha (like below) or a cake pumpkin may take 40+ minutes.

note: if your kabocha/pumpkin is especially thick, your soup may end up tasting sweeter. If you want it more umami, use less of your chosen gourd or maybe add a splash of soy sauce to the broth? Haven’t tried that but it’d probably work

Step 3) Prep all your other veggies while you’re waiting for the pumpkin to bake. Dice the onion and set it aside. Chop the celery & carrots into Chunks and mince the garlique

Step 4) Wait until the timer for the pumpkin has 20 minutes or less left. Heat up your pot/dutch oven on high/med-high heat, melt 2 tbsp of butter, and add the onions. After about 6 minutes, add the garlic. After another few minutes, sprinkle flour and stir, and keep frying until it browns.

Step 5) Add the rest of the butter, the rest of the veggies, and stir. Deglaze the pan with a splash of mirin/cooking wine.

If you timed it right, the pumpkin should be about done. Using a spoon, scoop the rind off the pumpkin. While you do that, periodically check on the veggies, adding another sprinkle of flour and a some of the fish stock as it gets dry. It’ll create a sort of paste and the onions will be pretty browned at this point.

Step 6) Chop the pumpkin & add it to the pot. Add the rest of the stock. If you’re using habanero, slice it and add it now. Add any other seasonings (it may need more salt) to taste. Once the soup boils, turn the heat to low and cover.

Personally, I prefer soups with Chunks in them + I think it’s more authentic to what the yeti made, but if you REALLY feel compelled to blend your soup, do it now.

Step 7) While the soup is heating up, get out a frying pan and add a tablespoon or two of some olive oil/butter on med-high heat. Add the salmon filet to the pan (scale side down) and just let it sit there. Don’t touch it. When it turns opaque halfway up, flip it until it’s fully cooked.

Once it’s cooked, remove it from the pan, remove the skin, and shred it into bite size pieces. If your salmon was really thick like mine was, and some parts of it are still pink, then toss the pink parts back in the pan to let them cook a little longer.

Add the salmon to the soup.

Step 8) Once the soup has been simmering for a few minutes and you’re too impatient to keep waiting, remove it from heat, add the goat cheese & heavy cream, garnish with gronions or whatever herb of choice, and enjoy!

In the game, this soup restores eight hearts, and it truly does feel that replenishing. This soup could cure any disease.

[papercraftcynder]

If anyone wants to have a physical copy of the recipe, I copied and formatted it for printing. Would recommend printing on both sides of the page.

[sabertoothwalrus]

thank you for formatting it!

[justforyoujustforme]

Soup update!!!

This soup is absolutely out of this world. You're going to ask yourself, "Do i really need all of those ingredients?" YES yes you do.

The soup with just the pumpkin and the salmon was good but adding the goat cheese and the cream just kicked it up to the next level.

It's definitely not for the lactose intolerant, I'll tell you that much. (Every bit of those 6 tablespoons of butter, half a log of goat cheese and carton of cream is essential...)

Who is it for? It's for those who've ever trudged home from the bus in -30, it's for the snow shovellers, it's for the tobogganers, it's for the ice fishers, it's for those lost in the Alps.

This soup could revive Ötzi the iceman.

What I substituted:

Unfortunately my version was limited by the poor selections at my local grocery chain (who knew shopping at 5pm on a Sunday would result in slim pickings??)

I used acorn squash instead of kabocha (store too white)

Skipped the habernero (stomach too white... I love spicy foods but in combo with the amount of lactose - see above- I would have spent the rest of the evening on the toilet)

could not find fish stock anywhere (store too white? but then I found bonito dashi so I dunno)

green onion selection was trash so I put dill on top as a garnish and it was the bomb dot com

i didn't know what % "heavy cream" was so I just used whipping cream (35%)

Other stuff:

I only had to use a cup of dashi because the carton of vegetable stock basically filled most of the pot. I could have used a bigger pot but the acorn squash was smaller than a kabocha would have been so it all worked out.

Forgot to check my cupboard before shopping so I skipped the thyme because I was all out

Paired it with a nice crunchy loaf of bread, no butter needed (it's all in the soup)

Had enough for three really good suppers then froze the rest in "souper cubes" (probably 4 lunch portions and 2 dinner portions)

[zelda-heritage-posts]

Zelda Heritage Post

[songsomi]

[songsomi]

[lycanthropicture]

everything bad is his fault. i just need him to stop. he just needs to stop. i dont understand why hes doing this. theres some sort of terrible malevolent voice in his head that tells him to do these things. its like he lacks a conscience. hes like evil hes evil. he does horrible things for the love of the game. hasnt he done enough. doesnt he have enough. why is he still here on my screen in my life in my awareness. stop stop pls stop pls. please. oh my god like oh my god.

[lycanthropicture]

STOP tagging this us politics. this post is about fuckign. jensen ackles of homophobic television actor fame

[cookie-nom-nom]

okay but imagine how inconvenient the streets of Central City, Amestris, is. Like yeah yeah country wide alchemy circle aside- can you IMAGINE the traffic? Like for the Love of Truth can we add another lane on this road?? The cars are backed up for miles! The urban planning board must be the sorriest people in the world. They got no clue what an alchemist circle looks like BUT the Fuhrer keeps showing up for an ominous visit every time they try to get a modicum of reasonable city layout. The zoning laws have got to be pure evil.

[okiedoketm]

how many accidents do you think there are on the Central Command Roundabout in an average day

[deadeery]

a memory you cherished

[khmelisuneliart]

merthur.

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: Treat spiders like you want to be treated.

Tim: Killed instantly.

Dick: No–

[wheeloffortune-design]

sometimes a friend comes by to drop something and says "yeah after that i'm off to a puzzle warehouse" and you have no choice but to leave your depression spiral, get dressed, and follow that friend to the middle of nowhere to see the puzzle warehouse

there's two floors.

[cb-writes-stuff]

@joy-and-whimsy-official

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! The puzzle warehouse is joyful and whimsical!

[pwhl-mybeloved]

help I just discovered ottawa’s waluigi

[lamaery]

well... a little sketch dump for the fanfic Footage not Found by @airplanned which I devoured last Thursday after my friends recommended it to me. I am not really interested in reality TV, nor too keen on Modern Settings for OP fics, but this story taking the characters and putting them into a Love Is Blind AU was unexpectedly hilarious and entertaining. The whole mesh-up with the beats and framing of the TV show works really well and is refreshingly unique. The background drama is utterly unhinged as it would be for a production of this kind. But the best part is just Zoro as the main POV – being a little bit more chatty than his usual iterations, but by god is he funny!!! Just an absolute menace and very much the heart of the show! I would watch the heck out of that season! So I had to draw a few of the moments and impressions that kept sticking in my brain...