IF YOU'RE READING THIS THEN I AM NOT ACTIVE HERE

NEW BLOG IS @longdeadking

[longdeadking-moved-blogs]

I AM NO LONGER ACTIVE HERE. MY NEW MAIN IS @longdeadking MUTUALS PLEASE FOLLOW ME THERE

[fishmalazahn]

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

This is us ^

[5ftboy]

"Can I do a snoop check to see how horny The Fix is?" "That's gonna be snoop one."

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

not a week goes by without me remembering this jhonen vasquez strip and i so often want to reference it and i keep forgetting it is not, in fact, a well-known meme

[realpokemon]

ey rod boy glad ur alive. hypothetical question but what to do if wild pelipper eats my fucking wallet

your wallet is actually pretty safe for now since pelipper has a shit ton of storage space in its beak. like it only chooses to swallow if it wants to eat what it's got stored. my guess is that if you reach your hand in there you can get back your wallet. but watch out

[whysowise]

[marisatomay]

passports…should not expire

[marisatomay]

actually i have decided that passports shouldn’t exist at all

[marisatomay]

i love it here

[neo-pussy-deactivated20250705]

Me when I'm about to do a terrorism but I am stopped by a cop asking for my passport

[writing-prompt-s]

Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.

[aurora31127]

The galactic council watched on to see how humanity would handle the task, much as they had with several species before. What the test was supposed to show was whether or not a species of violent nature could ever be brought to work together. They finally picked something up, another ship already headed to Mars? Was it possible humans were that clever to have found the key, maybe it was more specialists and equipment to analyze the locked crate to ensure it was safe to open. A few minutes after landing, they got another broadcast from the red planet.

“This is the LockPickingLawyer and today I’ve got something quite special, this locked alien chest. First of all I have to thank everyone who recommended me for the job, I’m honored that you all thought of me. Now let’s get to work”

The council representatives were confused as they started analyzing the translation, before even getting through the name he spoke something haunting

“Normally I don’t say things like this but this lock is quite unique, however with no security pins it will still be quite quick.”

“There we go, a click on 3… “

All the species of the galactic council sat dumbfounded, they spent many galactic cycles refining and perfecting their study and in all their time not a singular race had tried this method. Click after click, even in such an intricate lock the human had only spent around five minutes tampering with it.

“There we go, now while I can’t open this as part of my video I can say that I at least have a clue what the key should look like in case it ever gets locked again. I admire the design choices and the fact that at least it was harder to get open than anything Master Lock has made”

[mariacallous]

[attackoftheskydancers]

Ok but there really is a difference - unhoused is a subset of homeless. Couch surfers and long-term guests on someone's futon are homeless, but not unhoused. Tent City residents, shelter residents, people living in cars etc etc are a much more vulnerable group of homeless people than those who are housed, just not in their own permanent space.

[play-now-my-lord]

Ftr anyone not on a lease is in a bureaucratic sense (i.e. the sense the cops and politicians mean by it) homeless. This post is correct that it's an important distinction and they're not just synonyms, unhoused = no permanent shelter, homeless = no legal claim to exist where you rest your head at night

If you're on an illegal sublet or couchsurfing or living with a partner off the lease, congrats, you're homeless

[play-now-my-lord]

Something I'd like to hammer home is that people often think of homelessness & unhousedness as a condition that means no rent, but this is nearly never true long-term. Illegal carparks get you ticketed or shaken down by the cops, same with a tent under a bridge or by the railroad tracks, and "illegal sublet" is itself a tremendous category that often describes people paying more than the market rate due to a history of criminalization, bureaucratic fuckups, lack of citizenship, or all of the above

[yamada-ryo]

It's that easy

[big-papa-huge-time]

I am here at the tumblr dashboard

[byebye-cupid-lol]

MR BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAST

[skimmeh]

I forgot to post this here, but adventure time Grian :) vampire harpy guy

Me and @kairamuwu made a lil silly au in our head for the shits :)

[pocketkris]

ok you headcanon this man as trans but are you normal about his transness

[pocketkris]

do you treat him like a grown man or do you treat him like an uwu soft baby boy.

[chipjrwibignaturals]

the old man triad (earl drey and finn) are the protagonists of their OWN campaign that we can’t fucking see like. when you aren’t looking they’re having their Own Things going on

[pretzel-the-frogtopus]

Old Men 🤝 all the creatures on that ship

They got some secret stuff of their own going on

[imalreadydashingthroughtheno]

[missjukebox8bit]

Most corporate social media accounts use memes to try and appear hip with the kids so they’ll buy their product but the Sparknotes twitter account is clearly just run by a literature geek who was told they could make memes about old books and is having the time of their life doing just that

[tlirsgender]

One funny thing to me about across the spiderverse was that like. You KNOW Hobie doesn't fuck with cops. You KNOW he was standing there like chewing on the inside of his cheek Not saying anything really really insensitive about Miles' dad. Spider-punk went the whole film without oinking at anybody I think his restraint is commendable

[tlirsgender]

Miles, 15 years old, likes his dad: we can't just let people die c'mon guys!

Everyone else: I understand but please listen it's part of the timeline we can't change it without destroying the universe--

Hobie standing over there fidgeting with a pin on his vest that says "ACAB" on it:

[tlirsgender]

[ID: tags from @avengerphobic that read "#hobie brown #he has blue shoelaces which means hes killed a cop so im sure he was like screaming on the inside #spiderverse spoilers" /end ID]

Hobie, quietly: I'd kill your dad myself to be honest

Miles: what?

Hobie: nuffink

[bifrosted-flakes]

Important to note that in the comics he has not only killed cops (he lives in an ultrafascist universe where the cops have venom symbiotes) he also cut off the president’s head with his guitar

[tlirsgender]

Extremely swag thank you

[because-im-freaking-greed]

One note: "cut off" sounds like he's got a blade in his guitar, but he doesn't. It's a blunt instrument. He just swung it hard enough to overcome the strength of his neck and rock-em-sock-em'd him

[tlirsgender]

AWESOME

[smalltall]

The splash page is glorious. Also his universe being overrun with symbiotes is why his main weapon's the guitar--symbiotes are hypersensitive to loud sounds, so he just plugs that bad boy into a dozen amps cranked to 30 million decibels and sonic blasts them to hell.

[sp00ky-p00ky]

[cuunos]

transmasc fall is coming up, you know what that means

[cuunos]

i don't know what i was going for with this post

[cuunos]

it was a prophecy and a warning.

[cheshirelibrary]

[incognito-princess]

My friend teaches high school history and allowed his students to do their chapter summaries on their chosen biographies as originally created memes. He said that he had never had kids read so carefully to find the most obscure detail from chapters to make their memes. [pro-tip, for younger middle school/elementary school students, make a folder of popular meme templates, to avoid uncomfortable internet searches}

[your-eyes-can-be-so-cruell]

This reminds me of my class watching the 90s film and when it got to this scene some guy in my class shouted out ‘hoe don’t do it’ and then 5 seconds later -sigh- ‘he did it’.

[finrays]

Shakespeare would have loved this 😔