Sauntering Vaguely Downwards....

BJ (They/Them) Profile Picture by @tomgregs Side blog: @0thello-von-ryan

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know the Paul brothers were so controversial around 2016-2017 that I get nostalgic once in a while and decide to see what they’re up to lately. And the answer is almost always that they’re doing some kind of elaborate scam.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Logan Paul is trying to make like graded mint condition manga a thing I guess. Which is stupid because once it’s encased in the protective plastic it’s just a brick. You can’t read that. Anyone who knows the purpose of books thinks that this is stupid but you just know that some scalper with money and zero brain cells is buying up every worthless shonen jump he can find right now

[what-even-is-thiss]

This is not the face of a man who knows how to read Japanese. I’m not fully convinced that this is the face of a man who knows how to read, period.

[ashenmind]

“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

[ashenmind]

[depsidase]

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[amiya-shirou]

what a lot of people don't realize is that you can't actually be born in real life. the concepts of pregnancy, birth and motherhood are a scam made up by Fromsoftware in 2015 to sell more copies of Bloodborne

[cutecipher]

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

[agoraphobe]

u ever feel like ur stuck living in a separate world all alone and u wanna reach out or join the world everyone else lives in but u cant and all u can do is watch from afar and hope things can happen for u too but the months keep flying by and u realize u have been isolating urself for years

[the-punforgiven]

You say something really weird to the headless horseman and in response he just stares at you fully maintaining eye contact as he grabs a second pumpkin out of one of his saddlebags and carves a confused/mildly offended face onto it and then replaces the first pumpkin head that's been staring at you the whole time with it

[mayra-quijotescx]

I got inspired

[missmentelle]

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

If there’s ever anything you want that isn’t on this list…youtube it. Everyone always comments on my handiness, but everything I know comes from an old guy and his iphone.

[thelatecaptainpierce]

[dragongirlteeth]

Some core principles I've been thinking about lately:

There are no ontologically evil people

People generally want to believe they are doing good

Under enough stress, anyone will act irrationally

When someone does something terrible, first try to look back and see "how did we get here"

[caruliaa]

instead of either having a server be muted or unmuted discord should introduce a setting called special princess mode where the server is muted except ☝🏽 for one person that is your special princess and the emoji0oo990op09iop09i8o09i8op09iolp-09op-0opyujiko8o9i8ukol9iukolp9i8uki sorry. i got a drop of oil on my keyboard bc i was eating hummus with a little bit of olive oil earlier and i was cleaning that off. anyway and the notification icon is a heart. and they have to to call it that.

[goldenduckie]

Ok i know that too some people it will just look like a question mark but i am in love with this 🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪new 🫪🫪🫪🫪emoji apple added it dosent even feel real🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪do the peo🫪🫪🫪🫪ple know🫪 about🫪🫪🫪 this🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪

[strawby-fields]

I want to know so bad

[sketchjay]

For those who can't see the emoji 🫪

[slowmotionmovesme]

More tales from the swamp 🍸

[lilypads-s]

average beejhawk b plot

[saltoncity]

girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach

[gayvampyr]

losing it over this. unbridled chaos

[clusterduck28]

Imagine peacefully eating your dinner one day and then an incomprehensibly huge guy puts you in his pocket and then feeds you to a spider