how does table etiquette differ between races/provinces? would it apply to all the population or only in formal company?
There are many rituals and customs surrounding both cooking and eating in Tamriel, and each race is different regarding what's considered appropriate behaviour where food is concerned. Keep this list in mind if you're traveling across Tamriel, especially if you're staying with local hosts! These rules apply mostly to eating with new friends or out in public, in both formal and semi-formal settings such as homes, taverns, and restaurants. While most Tamrielic peoples are pretty forgiving of poor table manners in informal company and settings, remembering these tips will show your hosts that you're both cultured and polite! ~Talviel
The Dunmer are all about rank, and regardless of whether one hails from the Great Houses or the Ashlands, communal dining is a proving ground for outlanders who aren't familiar with Dunmeri customs. Traditionally, the head of the house or clan gets served (or serves themselves) first, and the serving order depends on one's political ranking, age, and social status. For example, a younger Dark Elf who's a general would be permitted to eat before an elder who is lower in social standing. However, traditional hospitality also dictates that the head of the table can give up their first serving to others as an act of honour. This is common when hosting guests, and if you are given the first serving it means you are a true guest of honour. Don't mess it up by displaying poor table etiquette!
For the Altmer, table etiquette is everything. One wrong move at the dinner table, no matter how small, will have you disgraced throughout the Summerset Isles and will ensure you'll probably never be invited to dine at any high society soirées ever again. Even young Altmer aren't excused from the strict rules, and table etiquette is generally studied for years before any Altmer are allowed their debut in high society. It would take years to go through the intricacies of High Elf dining faux pas, but in my experience the biggest atrocity one can commit at the dining table is speaking with your mouth full and chewing with your mouth open. In fact, most meals in Altmer households and taverns alike are usually silent (this is why bards are usually employed to stop things from being too awkward). So if you're ever dining with a High Elf, don't be offended if they don't gush over the food right away- it's a case of eat first, talk later!
You're probably wondering why I even included the Orsimer at all, because most races are under the (wrongful!) impression that they have no table etiquette. However, being allowed to eat with a stronghold is a huge honour, and they have a couple of rules. Firstly, no fighting until after mealtime! Yes, every now and then someone gets mad at the dining table, but fights are reserved for after meals and they have to be taken outside. Brawling in the dining room is considered to be in extremely poor taste even for Orcs, so don't even think about it. The second rule is showing the chef appreciation at the end of the meal...by letting out a loud, healthy burp. I'm not joking! If an Orcish chef comes up to you, you should express your gratitude for your meal by belching. The louder the belch, the better the meal!
Of all the races of men, the Bretons are the fussiest when it comes to table manners. When dining in High Rock, be sure to brush up on identifying the right cutlery and glasses. Knowing the difference between a snail and a dessert fork, or which knife to use for fish or bantam guar, is sure to impress your Breton hosts and show that you care enough about their food and culture to appreciate using the correct tableware. And for the love of the Divines, please don't drink anything but wine out of a wine glass.
The Khajiit are fairly laid back about dining etiquette, with a few exceptions. Eating with your hands is common, but only after washing them very thoroughly beforehand! Not washing your hands before a meal is a sign of poor upbringing, bad hygiene, and being greedy. On that note, ALWAYS use a serving spoon when sprinkling moon sugar on your food! Not only is the stuff awfully sticky, but nobody wants to eat from a communal moon sugar dish that's had somebody else's fingers in it!
The golden rule when dining in Cyrodiil is to know your wine, which is always present at every meal (yes, even at breakfast for some)! You don't have to be a sommelier, but being able to differentiate between a pinot noir and a merlot is something fairly basic that any fan of Imperial cuisine should master. Not only that, but knowing which wine to pair with your food is crucial- asking for a glass of moscato with your main, for example, is bound to cause quite a scandal. If you're ever in doubt, ask your server or the chef what they recommend to prevent the worst faux pas in the Province!
Argonians are actually my favourite people to dine with in Tamriel, because they're extremely hospitable folk who love sharing their food! A common custom with Argonians is to have food brought out in large serving bowls which you can help yourself to, with everyone sitting in a circle on the floor around the serving dishes. Like the Khajiit, eating with your hands is common, and washing them well is a prerequisite (not only for politeness, but also because you really don't want to get swamp sickness). While you don't need to worry about how much you eat, be mindful of the elders and hatchlings at the meal, who usually get a bit more out of respect and care.
There aren't many hard rules for eating with Redguards, but it's important to be courteous to your hosts and always offer them the first and last bites. This causes a lot of confusion for foreigners, as Redguards are known for being very pushy with their hospitality, especially when it comes to food. Don't fall for the trick though- it is customary to decline what you are offered no less than three times before you can polish off whatever's left! Accepting immediately is seen as greedy, and flat-out refusing is viewed as extremely rude and ungrateful.
The Bosmer, regardless of whether or not they're Green Pact compliant, are sticklers about food wastage, and for good reason! Wood Elf cuisine is usually difficult and slow to cook, and the best way to express your appreciation during mealtimes is to finish every last drop and crumb in front of you. Trust me, I know it can be difficult especially if you're not used to Bosmeri food, but please do your best to finish whatever you're given or have ordered, because your chef will be very sad rather than offended if you don't (and that's almost worse).
Finally, we return to my people. Like the Orcs, most people wouldn't think that Nords have much in the way of table manners, but there are a couple of things you should bear in mind when eating in Skyrim. Like the Bosmer, food wastage is viewed with disdain. While you're allowed to eat as much as you like (which is actually encouraged!), be sure to take only as much as you can eat. Leaving leftovers on a plate is quite the affront, but asking for a takeaway box is even worse. Not only is Nord food meant to be eaten fresh on the spot, it doesn't exactly keep well and bringing home your partially-eaten steak and potatoes is seen as stingy and cheap. If you're really struggling, it's totally acceptable to ask your Nord friends to help you out if you're close. If you don't know anyone around you, it's also acceptable to feed your leftovers and scraps to the dogs and pigs. Also, unless you're at a tavern or are told otherwise, wash your plate and put it away or your host may very well smash it over your head for presuming that they'll do it for you!
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