† I Have Broken A Bone †

But the world is my oyster. /Virgo/27/Bi

[beardedmrbean]

[poetrylesbian]

this sculpture is from 2011 by artist sara swink

[killer-fille]

cats have been bothering humans since at least 2011

[imsobadatnicknames2]

We should popularize more hispanized phonetic spellings of classic character names like we did with esnupi

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Citripio y Arturito

[7dmom]

Omg the sweetest girl in the whole world sent me a friend request a bit too early into the relationship. Denied. Going on my list of sickening desperate fools.

[cheddar-baby]

Domming a guy i hate and convincing him good puppies like to be named Hubert then getting his name legally changed to Hubert then ghosting him

[hikikomoricomplex]

i just don’t feel like we as a society ever fully processed deedee megadoodoo

[hikikomoricomplex]

a cop pulls somebody over for a traffic stop when she gets flattened by a poop truck cause the driver of the poop truck was jerkin his shit nasty style and they report the cop’s name was deedee megadoodoo are you fucking with me right now????

[csny]

[dajo42]

no, mother... you should have read my supposed "school field trip" permission slip closer.... i foresaw your betrayal a mile away.... im afraid, mother, it is you who has been sold to one direction

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

[evilscientist3]

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

[loulooser]

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

[spinostarz]

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

[loulooser]

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

[jarsjam]

THERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???

[raulimages]

[im-mender]

Smoking on that we'd

[evilvillain123456789]

step one: replace entire personality with open, festering wound

step two: contort absolutely all stimuli in my environment to relate to the my wound in some manner, ideally one which justifies random acts of unbridled aggression and vengeance

step three: marry a girl with generational wealth

[bayesic-bitch]

crazy to see "I can't believe these young scholars let the homunculus do their homework" coming from wizards who I know copied all their spells from Sparikus's Commentaries on old grimoires when they were apprentices

[bayesic-bitch]

My wards alert me that scribes keep adding annotations to my scroll saying that the homunculi are wrong sometimes. Of course they're wrong. If you don't have a use for bumbling, overeager, sycophantic, incompetent minions, how can you even call yourself a mage?

[bayesic-bitch]

Commentaries also seem to be circulating widely-disproven ideas about the homunculi's mana consumption. Dude like half of the top artificers think the homunculi are going to try to kill us in our sleep and extract our souls for conjuring ink. We don't need to make up reasons to be distrustful of the treacherous and deceitful minions

[vintricles]

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

[mariamlovesyou]

new uterine lining just dropped

[ocqueen]

[stupidpetface]

[machine-unlearning]

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

[dogpuppy]