Not Straight

You're still straight? Grow up, it's 2009

[segamascott]

your newborn baby crying is emotionally abusive to you it's called learned helplessness do not let narcissists take advantage of you

[akashicrecord]

Ultimately suicide is not the answer but how else do I shake things up on a budget

[palmer]

never will forget the gay porn I watched where the director quietly told the bottom to “lose the anime voice” and you could see overwhelming disillusionment form in his eyes

[akashicrecord]

Adds "live-in side bitch" to my work history on LinkedIn

[akashicrecord]

Followed by "unemployed cannabis addict with nerve damage"

[extork]

I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.

[soupsluts]

This bitch had like 5 accents

[tqueeninactive]

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

[katyazamolodchikova]

you’re a nice guy 👨‍💼! I’ll think 🤔 about it MAY-BEE🐝. X O 🤗💋 baybwee👶! UH OH here we go 🚀🚀🚀! SHENDS HIM KISSES😘😘😘! I didn’t know that I would move in with his Mrs.👰 WHUUT😲! GET A LIFE! You were living with his wife 👱‍♀️like what was I meant to do🤷‍♀️? Oh bitch 💃obviously- BUH HWUH BREASTKILLUH 🔪🙍‍♀️! Yeet ✌️! hehehehehehe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 she DIED 😵. It’s what she deserves 💁‍♀️. this STOOPID princess 👸 bitch 🐕 has been fuckin goin against me since I downloaded this goddamn app 📱. She’s like, “OH yaw here, no PRAWBlem!” eh OO OO 😮OOOoOooOO 😩😩😩😩OOOOoo 😱oOO😱oooo 😱O😱😱OO😱OOO WHAAAAAA🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Oh I was first heh!🥇🏆

[tomhoppusdelonge]

[g1deonthen1nth]

we have GOT to cut to the fucking feeling

[animentality]

[shuckle-fuck]

Slayyyter is like if Lana del Rey decided that it was Never That Serious and started bleaching her hair at home

[akashicrecord]

I love when autistic shut-ins cuss at me online. let me show you how a real spectrum princess throws down

[glittangrease]

put this read in MoMA

[lotabitgay]

can’t believe she killer her :/

[kristina100000]

when dogs bark at each other it is so embarrassing im embarrassed for them.. like calm down wtf

[pinene]

we're just excited to see another dog!! :3 awooo

[pinene]

oh wait you meant like real dogs like the animal... nevermind

[kristina100000]

[rattlesnek]

Compilation

[mellointheory]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[the-haiku-bot]

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mellointheory]

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

[peanutpalace-deactivated2023011]

[t-s-n-deactivated20250205]

me getting silly in the pussy if im being honest ?

[pococurantina]

could you lie

[akashicrecord]

People in the southern US will call their grandparent some shit like Deedaw or Moomoo