I'd rather be sleeping

[pomrania]

“This reads like fanfiction (it feels like it was written by a preteen, and most of such things posted publicly are fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it has a focus on character and relationships, like the style of a lot of modern fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it keeps referencing people and events with the assumption that the audience is already familiar with them, like how fanfic doesn’t need to rehash the source material)”

[pomrania]

Some further suggestions from the notes:

“This reads like fanfiction (it’s a love story for the ages as long as you can overlook that the author keeps misspelling ‘you're’)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (you can tell the author was having a blast writing this and now so do you reading it)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the author is clearly info-dumping about a very niche hobby of theirs that they’re passionate about)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the characters keep getting put in increasingly weirder situations which you’d normally only find in fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the author felt the need to rehash the characters from when they were first introduced instead of after several years’ worth of character growth)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it feels like it had no editor)”

[ryanthedemiguy]

“This reads like fanfiction (I’m pretty sure I can identify the filed off serial numbers)”

[fierceawakening]

“this reads like fanfiction (it’s SO FUCKING LONG)”

[lpham2525]

"This reads like fanfiction (just the author's way of writing out their own fantasy-wish-fulfillment that diverges from canon)" vs. "This reads like fanfiction (just the author's way of writing out their own fantasy-wish-fulfillment that does NOT diverge from canon, but maybe adds more details or extra scenes that could still plausibly be in the canon story)" vs. "This reads like fanfiction (the author is working through their own trauma/emotional stuck points/psychological baggage through using these characters that strike a chord with them somehow)" vs. "This reads like fanfiction (the author is experimenting with different forms of writing/storytelling that is distinct from the way the canon story is told, i.e. epistolary format, poetry, mixture of prose and images, etc.)" vs. "This reads like fanfiction (the author is writing crack and the reader is enjoying every second of it)"

[catchymemes]

[lpham2525]

I meant to reblog this and say that the image looks like a fever dream where Twilight dreams that his body is suddenly an emaciated beanpole from barely any sleep/too many side missions/metastasizing stomach ulcers and somehow, WISE replaced his head with a giant eye (which is their insignia anyway), but I forgot to write that so now it just looks like a self-love quote superimposed upon an abstract image of Loid Forger with his head replaced by a giant eye.

[greenheart-anon]

[landmineblogging]

hey!! wait a moment. you'll have plenty of scrolling to do when you finish reading this post, ok? the contents of it contain highly paramount information that you need to be aware of at all costs!! please proceed below

you're important to me

[lpham2525]

Cavorting with thespians

HEMLOCK: Look at you, Thorn Princess, cavorting with thespians! How inappropriate. Pretty soon, you'll start thinking of yourself as a thespian, too! YOR: There's nothing wrong about cavorting with thespians. And I don't think I'll become one just by cavorting with them. So far, I haven't developed any attraction to women. HEMLOCK: ??? HEMLOCK: !!!!!!!!! HEMLOCK: I said thespians, not lesbians! YOR: Oh. YOR: Um... YOR: What's the difference again? HEMLOCK: Augggghhhhhh!!!!

[lpham2525]

What if it was Loid instead?

During the earliest chapters of the Five-Year-Love Plan arc, loads of readers were making predictions about how the arc was going to make Yor replace one of the actors who was unavailable and she'd have to kiss someone. While this turned out to be spot-on (and I enjoyed it immensely), I wondered what would have happened if it had been Loid who had to replace a male actor that was unavailable and then he had to do a kiss scene? Now, obviously, this wouldn't cause as much drama as Yor needing to do a kiss scene (since Yor is nervous about intimate physical contact and Loid is experienced in it), but I also wonder if Loid/Twilight would have had any internal conflict over kissing another woman in front of Yor.

Or maybe Yor would have conveniently excused herself to the bathroom during Loid's kiss scene because it would have embarrassed her to see (or even think about) him kissing another woman? And what if the hijacker forced Loid to do multiple kisses with the female actor? Would Loid have felt like he was "cheating" on his wife?

Or even if Loid knew that he was "acting", he might instinctively know that Yor would be uncomfortable with it and because of this, he would try to get out of the kiss scene? Or could he have done it "for the cameras" the same way he does things "for the mission"? I mean, he would be held literally at gunpoint while he was doing this... What if, afterward, he told Yor that it was just acting in an attempt to reassure her (even though their marriage is fake)? Would it make Yor feel worse about herself that Loid can easily put on an act and kiss someone he barely knows whereas she can't even kiss her fake husband? Makes me wonder about the internal conflict and potential complications if it had been Loid instead.

What do you think?

[lpham2525]

Yor's New Look

When I heard everyone gushing over Yor's new hairstyle for the Five-Year-Love Plan arc, I initially thought they were talking about this:

And I thought: That's such a cute new hairstyle for Yor! She looks adorable with a bob haircut! It wasn't until later that I realized they were talking about this:

Which is adorable, too! Honestly, I think Yor looks great in any hairstyle. (And yes, I realize now that the woman in the first picture is NOT Yor, but the tour guide for the TV station who just happens to look Yor).

I wonder if we'll ever get Yor in a short hair. Or maybe a punk-rock hairstyle. I know it's not her personality, but hey, a girl can dream...

[lpham2525]

Empoleon

So I was doing this Tumblr poll, right? And the poll said something like, "Click on this link and spin the wheel to choose a Pokémon", and I think, All right, I like Pokémon and this seems simple enough. Let's do this.

So I click on the link (thankfully not a virus) and spin the wheel. Now this wheel has ALL of the Pokémon on it so the little triangular slots that are supposed to represent each Pokémon are so small that I can't even distinguish them.

But I spin anyway.

And I get something called "Empoleon."

Now I only know the original 151 Pokémon (and a handful of the new ones) so I didn't know what an Empoleon was.

So I do what any nerdy linguistics kid does: instead of looking it up on the Internet, I try to guess what Empoleon is purely from its name.

I mean, come on, you can guess what lots of Pokémon are purely from their name (think of, like, Taurus or Magikarp. Not Pikachu or Heracross 'cause, really, who's gonna guess what a Pikachu or Heracross is if they've never seen one?). And you know what I thought an Empoleon was? I thought it was a new evolution of Eevee!

Think about it. It sounds like it's an evolutionary form of Eevee (since all of its forms end in "eon"). I pictured a really cool black and abalone-colored Eevee with spikes all over its body and a spade tail and the ability to jump the height of ten-story buildings. I thought maybe there was a new stone like an Ice Stone that would turn Eevee into an Ice Pokémon (or something new altogether!). But then I talk to my landlord's brother (who plays all the new versions of the Pokémon games), and he tells me that Empoleon is a penguin Pokémon. He shows me a picture of it, and I realize that the name "Empoleon" is a play on "Emperor Penguin." While I love penguins (and really, why wasn't there a penguin Pokémon when I was a kid?!), I still thought it would be cool if Empoleon was an Eevee evolution instead.

[lpham2525]

Everyone, I got my passport today! That means I get to travel the world! And guess where I'm going?

FRANCE!!! A famous French artist has invited me to stay at her home (she even offered to cook for me!) so I'm super stoked (does anyone even say "stoked" anymore?). We're going to go to her favorite restaurants and explore her hometown. She even told me she's going to buy me lots of croissants (and I adore croissants!).

I suggested that we have drawing sessions together (since she's an artist and all), and she seemed down with that. Best of all, she makes artwork for Spy x Family! Am I lucky or what?!?!

[lpham2525]

Wacky, sudden ending

I was going through my Downloads folder and came across a story I wrote years ago.

I'll share it here, but keep in mind that I was a fledging writer at the time so I didn't know how to end stories "correctly". Because of this, I often came up with brutal, sudden endings. See below. Complete the Story…

Once upon a time, there was a man who helped an old woman with the monumental task of repairing her house after a devastating storm. The woman wanted to repay the man, but he said he needed nothing. He had a good job as a fashion designer and a home near the waterfront so he wanted nothing more. The woman, secretly a sage, looked deep into the man’s heart and…

Ending #1: realized that he was evil. So she killed him. THE END.

[algrolo]

While you were studying the blade, I was studying you. You're weak on your left side and your footwork could use improvement. Also I think I've fallen in love with you. Who said that.

[homunculus-argument]

Character concept: A vampire who disguises as human by being that mf who is always cold. No longer affected by temperature, they'd have no problem wearing booty shorts and nothing else in the middle of the winter, but instead using this power to wear improbably thick layers of sweaters and wool cardigans in the summer and double that in the winter, always carrying a cup of tea or coffee to warm their hands just in case they need to shake hands or something and need their hands to only be cold-human-hands -cold instead of What The Fuck That's Icy kind of cold.

Recreationally fighting upper management about not being allowed to wear a winter jacket inside in the office and getting nagged at by sweet middle-aged office ladies about how the reason why they're always so cold and pale and everything is becuase they've never seen this mf eat anything. Nobody notices that they've never seen them actually drink their hot beverages, either.

It doesn't occur to anyone to suspect that not only is this mf completely invulnerable to ice and snow and any heat short of being set on fire, in their free time they're perfectly capable of grabbing a grown man by the ankle and beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker.

[ktrose68]

I have absolutely zero respect for a vampire with an office job. (Unless they're like a brand new baby vamp) Learn how to rob billionaires you knuckle heads. Tf are you doing a 9-5 for when you could be tormenting your enemies?

[homunculus-argument]

blanket vampire reading hate mail in the office

[algrolo]

While you were studying the blade, I was studying you. You're weak on your left side and your footwork could use improvement. Also I think I've fallen in love with you. Who said that.

[skaraptor]

AO3 should have an Annotation Mode where you can click to view all of the author's commentary and thoughts about certain parts of the work. A little comment that says "I spent five hours researching vintage radio mechanics for this and didn't even end up using it" or "this is an ancient Hebrew literary technique!" would make my day

[lpham2525]

A familiar song...

The other day, I was at home listening to Disney music when my roommate walks by. He stops when he hears the song, then says that it sounds familiar. I told him that it was my favorite Disney song, "Love is an Open Door".

"What???" he says.

"Love is an Open Door. You know..." I turn the volume a little louder so he can hear it more clearly. "Oh!" he says. "The Sandwiches Song." Then he goes about his business as usual.

I didn't know whether to laugh or feel appalled, but at any rate, I guess this is how some people know this song: The Sandwiches Song.

[juuyeah]

Reverse otome game…

[lpham2525]

Not sure what an otome game is, but it seems to fit Corbeau...

[lpham2525]

Elements...but against type!

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how I wanted to write a story with characters who represented the elements, but each one's personality was the opposite of its usual stereotype. For example, these are their usual stereotypes: Fire: Hotheaded, impulsive, needs time alone to "cool off"

Water: Fluid, smooth, flowing, sometimes volatile

Wind: Breezy, flighty, head-in-the-clouds, daydreamer-type

Earth: "down to earth", grounded, levelheaded, at one with all living things.

Ice: Cold, aloof, distant, loner-type

You know the drill.

But in MY version, I would write them like this: Fire: surprisingly calm and coolheaded, especially in an emergency.

Water: Inflexible, rigid, rule-follower type, perpetually anxious.

Wind: thoughtful and contemplative, the quiet observer

Earth: reckless, emotional, easily swayed by moods

Ice: Sociable and outgoing, likes to overshare and gush about things But then my friend mentioned an anime we watched a few months ago where the main character was an elemental who was portrayed "against type." Then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the anime had already done this idea.

"They stole my idea!" I said indignantly.

"YOU stole THEIR idea," my friend corrected. Well, maybe my next idea will be good. Or at least original.