Beware the fatty

Just a random blog filled with random things

[hxasinthus]

being naked is not sexy. wearing a white 18th century shirt with poofy sleeves tucked into a pair of black high waisted trousers is sexy. there are no exceptions

[webcomicname]

[piipstachio]

art hard

[piipstachio]

i have no idea how to use clip studio paint but it good

[jakubrozalski]

“Czart” Czart - a relic of ancient times, although very rare even this days you can still meet some of them in less populated and wild places of Eastern Europe. Often near to the places of the ancient pagan temples and cults. They eat cows and sheep, try to avoid people, for unknown reasons they are really afraid of cats… Who need a Witcher, when there is Babushka ;) prints: https://society6.com/mrwerewolf/s?q=new+prints

[piipstachio]

hell yeah !

[thy-lovelylionheart]

writer: this is one of my male characters! he cares about his guy friends and loves them deeply.

tumblr: oh! so he’s gay!

writer: uh…no, he’s attracted to women.

tumblr: ….so he’s bi!

writer: uhh…no…….he loves his guy friends but he’s not romantically/sexually attracted to them.

tumblr: ….so you’re homophobic.

writer:

[sandersstudies]

Healthy male friendships are almost as rare in mainstream fiction as gay male relationships, and maybe more rare in fanfiction. Let men be wonderful friends without pushing a romantic relationship, just like men and women should be able to be wonderful friends without the pressure of a romantic relationship.

[fireteam-daybreak]

*AGGRESSIVELY SLAMS REBLOG UNTIL I DIE*

[nine-touched]

This is literally the reason men are so terrified of being open about loving each other platonically, because they don’t want people to assume they’re gay just because they can be supportive of their fucking friends

[csisui]

[sandersstudies]

I literally got anon hate about my response to this post, and I just want to say that I’m sorry…

for not reblogging it sooner.

Psyche bitch, this is a good post.

[chivetur]

PREACH

[arissagittarius-deactivated2022]

This is like a direct response to half of Tumblr.

[nightfurylover31]

Not all relationships have to be romantic. Being close to someone doesn’t mean you are in love with them. Platonic friendships can be just as strong and wonderful as romantic ones.

[whalesharks-archive-deactivated]

[hamtastrophe]

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

[bigthecat]

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now  (allegedly) belongs to. 

then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.

[w0wls]

Rasputin was an old god from times before humans

[mad-duck]

He is like a cleric gone wild

[godlessondheimite]

“did rasputin do something problematic” i am going to die

[catchymemes]

[ladyshinga]

if Gilbert Gottfried isn’t voicing this slamming power bottom then what are we even doing here

[elisamaza]

this screenshot leaves out the best part of the character design

guy fieri couture

[blapis-blazuli]

I think we’re not seeing the bigger picture here which is that Disney has a dating sim app, if Iago is in it then who the fuck else is in it

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

I cannot stress this enough, but, what the fuck

[unpretty]

[nootofboot]

I feel like it should be clarified that the sexy anime husband next to Iago is not, in fact, Jafar.

That’s Jafar’s staff.

[catparazzi]

HIS WHAT ???

[actualaster]

This post is a new punch in the face every time I see it

[theliterarywolf]

I can’t believe that no one in this specific thread (maybe they have in the notes, I’m just talking about this version of the thread) has mentioned that the artist they hired for this game is the person who made Black Butler.

[burgerkapitany]

Pride Month

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[the-malevolent-platypus]

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

[micaxiii]

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

[darkwingsnark]

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

[writtenletterstotheworld]

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

[shoggoth-the-bitch]

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

[journal-three]

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

[whatamidoingqueer]

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

[looney-mooney]

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

What the fuck became of my post

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

[romansleftshoulderpad]

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

[romansleftshoulderpad]

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

[hoardofhyperfixations]

What the FUCK

[i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing-de]

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

[ironwoman359]

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

[vivaciousarcanist]

[unusual-ly]

Listen, I’m definitely taking all of this in and carefully considering it but I’m also still not over the fact that someone called the P&F/MML canon the “Dwampyverse”

[doggosource]

[piipstachio]

So context for this , some little kid I babysat told me his favorite animals were cats and he asked me what my favorite animal was and I ofcourse answered with “frogs.”

He then later told me to close my eye and gave me this cute little frog eraser.

AND OFCOURSE FOR SOME REASON HE GAVE ME MORE AS A GIFT AND NOW I HAVE TINY FROG ERASERS AND ITS SO ADORABLE

[ewaneneollav]

[polyversity]

Dunno if anyone outside the UK has noticed, but Britain in the last week has decided that tipping milkshakes over fascists is what we do now.

To the point that McDonalds were asked by the police to stop selling them, and it didn’t help at all.

Someone with a gourmet giant shake today just drenched Farage and he looks like a sad milky weasel. Blessed day.

[polyversity]

[dutchster]

[cptn-jtk]

the new saying is “lactose the intolerant” lmao

[junkiechurch]