Jeddak of the northern tribes.

Theurge of FullAuto

[the-stove-is-on-fire]

DannyMay Day 3 - Portal

Y’all know how much the Phandom loves crossovers so here’s a DP x BNHA comic for the portal prompt! Izuku was not prepared to see some random guy tear open a hole in reality today, but here we are. Danny comes back later so the lads can trade hero merch. 

Psst, if you like my comics end a Ko-fi my way!

[writing-prompt-s]

You wake up suddenly to find an androgynous being by your bed, congratulating you on your ascension to godhood and vanishing without explaining your domain or power set. Now you have to figure out what kind of god you are, and why you're a god to begin with

[dycefic]

The Goddess Emerges

I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented, because that’s what happens when you’ve been at work until 2 AM, got home after three, and then some asshole wakes you up at DAWN. I sat up - on a bit of a tilt, I admit - and tried to glare.

The androgynous person with the wild curls, brilliant smile, and faint glow around them didn’t seem to care. “Hail, Jenna! I congratulate thee on thy elevation to godhood!”

I stared at them for a second, then managed a semi-comprehensible mumble. “Wha?”

“Thou art a newly ascended goddess, and I am sent to bid thee congratulations and well-wishing!” The smile got even brighter. Whoever… whatever… this person was, they were abso-fucking-lutely delighted about this wonderful news. “I must away, for I am a busy messenger, but we twain shall meet again!”

And then the bright figure was gone and I was left sitting there, still half asleep and fully bewildered. After a second, I tried speaking again. “… goddess of WHAT?”

There was no answer.

I lay back and tried to convince myself it was all just a dream, but… it wasn’t. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but not this time. Some glowing, jolly … being… had woken me up at the asscrack of dawn, told me I was a goddess, and then left.

I mean… what the fuck?

I would have decided that it was a hallucination, I think, except that as I lay there, I realised slowly that even though I’d been asleep for maybe a couple of hours, I wasn’t tired. I really, genuinely wasn’t tired. It’s been so long since I wasn’t tired that it took me a while to even identify what was going on. And nothing hurt. Not my back, my shoulders, my knees, my hands… nothing.

I got out of bed and looked down at myself. I still looked the same, as far as I could tell. Medium build with a bit of middle-aged sag, scars on my hands from decades of kitchen work, the pallor of someone who spends all their time working nights, and the same ratty nightshirt I’d gone to sleep in. I went over to the mirror to check my face, and that was the same too. Lined, pale, with sharp eyes and a thin mouth, framed in slightly greyed brown hair. Ordinary. Not the face of a goddess.

But I wasn’t tired. Nothing hurt. In fact… I felt great.

Figuring I might as well ride the weird rush while I had it, I went to make myself an early breakfast… and a proper breakfast, too, with scrambled eggs and bacon as well as toast and coffee. I sat down to eat at my battered old kitchen table, and tried to think.

Obviously I wasn’t, like, capital G God, or anything. That would have presumably involved more fanfare than a single cryptic messenger. And they’d said ‘a’ goddess, not ‘the’ anything. And they’d used my name, so I wasn’t newly appointed as one of the gods anyone had heard of.

So… goddess of… something, I guess? One of those minor deities that accrued around stronger pantheons, or in isolated places. Like how little European villages in the middle of forests accumulated forest gods, or island countries picked up gods of seas and streams and stuff. I really hoped that was it. That level of godhood was something I could just about comprehend. Maybe I was the goddess of something really minor, like aglets, or deep-frying. I am really good at getting a balky deep-fryer to behave.

I really hoped that was it. I thought I could just about cope with becoming the goddess of deep-fryers, or pancakes, or something. That seemed like a… a manageable amount of divinity.

It felt strange being awake all day before work, and I did try to nap, but I just wasn’t sleepy. I tried, and ten minutes later I was standing in the kitchen again, mixing a batch of cookie dough. Baking helped - it kept me busy, at least.

It was a relief when I could head to work. I’ve worked six days out of seven at the Blue Plate Diner for the last fifteen years, and been part-owner for the last six. That kitchen was as much my home as my shabby apartment, if not more so.

I went in early, and sent Rio the day cook home. He looked exhausted, and was grateful to have his shift cut a little short, especially since I promised to pay him for the hour regardless. The day waitresses greeted me, though we don’t know each other well - I never work days - and Stanley the sous was there already.

I walked into my kitchen and immediately felt better. This was what I’d wanted, I realized, what my apartment kitchen hadn’t been able to give me. My kitchen, my domain… every inch familiar, every dish known by heart.

And then… I knew. I felt it.

I could feel the heat of a million grills. The bubble of a million fryers. And the prayers… oh, the prayers. A great silent roar of prayers that the orders would be right, that the rush would end, that the pizza wouldn’t burn and the fries would cook quickly. The pleas for endurance, for patience, for enough tips to get by, for a good smiting for a shitty customer.

Oh, I’m definitely going to be doing a lot of smiting when I figure out how.

I am a goddess.

I am the goddess of short-order cooking. And here in my kitchen, in the very seat of my power, I could do anything.

Stanley yelped and jumped back as my eyes snapped open, and I could see them glowing in my reflection on the grimy window. And then I did what every cook, whether they admit it or not, has always wanted to do. I raised my hands and I woke my kitchen up like a goddamn Disney magician.

Utensils flew on their own to their tasks. The fryer bubbled, blorped, and cleaned itself in one swift shudder, hocking out a lump of unknowable black ick into the nearest garbage can. The fridge opened itself so a dozen eggs could float out and over to the right station. I looked the other way, and the walk-in freezer popped open, spitting out two dozen rolls ready to be thawed. Sauces refilled themselves with a glance. A fry basket filled itself and put itself down in the cleanly gleaming oil. Oh, yeah. This is my domain. My temple. Here, my will is all.

Stanley was still staring, open-mouthed, and I grinned at him. “I became a goddess today.” He stared at me, eyes popping, and then he slowly grinned back. “If anyone was gonna be a kitchen goddess, you’re it. No doubt.”

I didn’t just stand there and watch the magic cooking. I’m a cook. I use my hands, always. But now it was like I had a hundred, a thousand more hands. Like I could see every inch of the kitchen, all the time.

And not just mine, either. While I grilled steaks and burgers, made salads and fixed milkshakes, my awareness expanded out further and further. Blocks away, a nervous kid at McDonalds stumbled and tried to catch himself, and I steadied him before his hand went into the deep-fryer. A woman at a food cart, out of napkins, prayed and found a package that hadn’t been there a moment before. An over-worked pizza chef got their second wind and three simple orders in a row. Food didn’t burn, orders didn’t go wrong, soft-serve machines unclogged and coffee-machines purred obediently. I was aware of all of it, doing all of it, and yet I was still fully aware of my own kitchen, my own diner, of every order going out in record time and the food being better than anything than even I’d ever managed before. I didn’t get tired… in fact, the longer I was in my kitchen, the better I felt.

By the end of the night, Stanley was a fervent believer, as were both the waitresses. I couldn’t hear their prayers quite as clearly as those of actual cooks, but counter staff and wait staff seem to come under my protection too, if they’re in one of ‘my’ restaurants. I tested my limits… anything that could be called short-order cooking seemed to be it. Fast-food, diners, and the like, mostly. Food carts that served hot food were mine, but dessert places of all descriptions weren’t. Bakeries and cafes were both off my list, and I could feel - I can’t explain how - that they belonged to different gods. Fine dining restaurants were outside my purview, and most delis, but anywhere with a deep-fryer or a grill lit up in my mind’s eye.

Closing up was a lot easier when the kitchen had become self-cleaning, so Stanley helped out in the front of the diner. Then we headed home. When I got back to the apartment, I wasn’t tired at all… I felt better than I ever have, charged by contact with my temple and my mostly unknowing believers. Turns out that gods - even minor ones - don’t need sleep to recharge, which is certainly a nice perk.

So that’s me. Jenna, the Short-Order Goddess. The Lady of the Grills. Patron of the Order Window. I have nothing to do with coffee. That’s someone else’s domain. But from the chain burger to the corner chippie, I watch over the kitchens and the staff of them all. They are my people, and I will care for them.

[ninalinovna]

bruce's worst nightmare is them getting along 💀

[somnoir]

Demon Twins and Death

Inspired by this post by @spiders-in-the-primrose

Damian had spent years loathing Danyal. The weaker, pathetic son. The son who did not have what it took to carry the name Al Ghul. The twin who had died and was swallowed by the Lazarus pits, never to be seen again.

The twin Damian killed.

His brother had welcomed death with tears and sobs. His last words were stained by the blood he choke out, "It had to be you, akhi." He whispered as the blood spilled from his mouth and a sword was pressed further into his stomach.

When he was sent to his father, he remained with his belief in being the better son. That Danyal was not worthy of being the son of the demon and the son of the bat. He could have been one but in the end, only Damian was worthy for both.

And yet as the years passed, Damian grew and changed. And then he finally understood.

In his family of heroes, his family who strived to make the world better—Danyal would have been a better fit. Instead, Damian had been the one to become his father's son with his own twin's blood on his hands. His father must never know.

The idea of Danyal sparks rage, resentment, and utterly self-loathing. His kind and sweet brother who would have been the perfect son for his father. The son who was clearly the better person. Not in skill, power—but morals. Because like their father, Danyal would never kill.

What would have happened if Danyal was here with him? If he were still alive?

Damain can imagine his brother in the colors that Robin wore, another costume, another name. Because Damian will not give up that name after he managed to take it from Drake. But Danyal would have work the colors, would have been bubbly like Grayson. He would have taken care of the children on the streets like Todd. He would have helped their father in cases like Drake.

He would have been the brother they would have wanted.

And Damian tries not to drown in what his brother could have been. He can't help but admire this figment of his imagination. This hero in his kind that wore what could have been Danyal's face. This light within the darkness of Gotham who had a voice identical to Damian's.

And Damian does drown. Because he wants what his brother could have been.

Danyal Al Ghul died by the hands of his brother.

In the back of his mind, he thinks that he just wants his other half back.

Danny Fenton was born as the girl who would be his sister dragged him from a lake and nursed him to health.

The Fentons were strange people with strange ideals. Jack and Maddie were obsessed, they were not suited to care for children as they grabbed their weapons and hunted down any ghost their could find. When they were absent, Danny was left with Jasmine.

The memory of Damian is strong and cruel and it burned itself into his mind. The memory of that katana sinking into his gut, just as blood bubbles up his throat. He remembers an older brother who had to be the one to kill him.

He remembers and then he looks to Jasmine. She is warmth incarnate, with fiery hair and bright eyes that reminded him of stars on painting. His parents lack the warmth he craves but Jazz gives him so much that he can't help but melt everytime he's in her arms.

Neither of them can forget how fearful he was towards her when she first found him. He had only been six years old, feeling the effects of the Lazarus pit on his skin before he was spat out somewhere far, far away. He remembered being in Nanda Parbat then he was spat out somewhere in Illinois.

Jasmine had found him. Jazz had found him.

And Danny has decided long ago that Jazz was much better than Damian.

Even from the distance between them, Danyal continues to fear Damian. The part of him that he wished died when his own twin stabbed him to death continued to live on.

Then he died.

Again.

And he can't help but hope that Danyal is finally dead. That the failure was finally dead. His body only needed two. He only needed Danny and Phantom. Yes... Danyal was dead.

Danny would kill that part of him himself if he could.

He donned the mantle of hero, even when the people called him a menace at times. Danny was finally a hero, he was finally someone who could do good in the world. It was a blessing for him.

In all honesty, being a hero had been fun, even as he suffered. His rogues that fought him felt like friends that he had missed in his life. Parts of him yearned for when Skulker came out for a fight. He laughed whenever Ember moved to blast her music through the town and he was forced to fight her. He was fond of both Kitty and Johnny, even when they fought and caused havoc. Trouble felt like home for once.

The half of him that was dead yearned for a fight, yearned for an obsession. Protection—he was told—was his own obsession.

To protect, to fight, to make sure that whatever fell into his obsession was safe and sound. He thinks of Amity Park—his haunt, his domain—and assumed it was what he wanted to protect. He had fought Pariah Dark, became King through conquest and continued to protect.

But a part of him knew that something was wrong. He knew that it wasn't Amity Park that he would protect at all cost. No.

It was always Jazz. Always his big sister who cradled him, who figured out he was Phantom, who could tell whether he was himself or not. The greatest part of his obsession fell onto the older sibling who loves him unconditionally, always reminding him that there was another half of him in the world that killed him. But Jazz was none of that.

Danny loved his family. He loved Elle who grew to be his little sister. He loved his parents even when they were difficult. He loved his friends—Sam, Tucker, Valerie. He loved them so dearly and yet they could never match up to Jazz.

Danny doesn't know what he'd do without her.

(Lies. He knew what would happen if Jazz was taken from her. He knew what kind of monster he'd become—one that the observants demanded to be killed. He knew damn well that Jazz Fenton was the only thing that kept him human.)

(Dan existed for a reason.)

(Danny would burn the world for his sister.)

(And he'd kill himself for fear of his brother.)

Fate is a cruel mistress that knew what she was doing. Twins were tied by blood, mind, and soul. An invisible thread that made sure they were connected one way or another. He shouldn't be surprised that they were going to be reunited at some point.

Danny Fenton and Damian Wayne meet.

It's been years. They've changed. They've become new people. Damian is Robin, the son of the bat (not heir to the demons head). Danny is Phantom, High King of the Infinite Realms (not the failure devoured by the Lazarus).

But that doesn't stop Danyal Al Ghul from drowning in fear at the mere visage of Damian Al Ghul.

Danny plays as ambassador, not king. He won't risk himself by telling people who he truly is. He can't. No.

When he summoned and claims that he is an ambassador sent as a substitute, the Justice League accepts what they are given and pleaded for aid.

But Robin is there with Batman. Robin and Phantom meet.

Robin sees Danyal and Phantom sees his murderer.

The moment his body was no longer frozen, Damian sucked in a deep breath as he stared at the face of his own beloved twin. His brother that died by his hands and was claimed by the pits. Had the Lazarus turned him into a creature of the realms?

"Danyal..." Robin sounded hopeful, desperate. He reached forward and almost crossed the circle if not for his father and Nightwing pulling him back with confusion and concern. They look towards the Ghostly being with a face that resembled their father and youngest a little too much.

Danny? Had he been human, his heart would have stopped after ricocheting. He stopped breathing, rendering his lungs useless. This was Damian. A hero of his own right even when he was a monster in Danny's eyes.

Danyal Al Ghul feared Damian.

Phantom was a manifestation of something of Danyal's death.

"You mistake me for someone, Heir to the Demon's head." His voice tore through air, distorted by his own will. Danny was king, he had to remind himself that.

"I am a manifestation. I am born from a concept and emotion. You would not have met me." The lies were not lies. Truths bended to his will as he spoke and pressed against the barrier made by the summoning circle. "But you recognize this body that I have taken form in."

"Then your appearance belonged to a living person." Batman growled.

Danny realizes that this was his father. Perhaps Ra's was right at some point—blood calls to blood.

"What have you done to Danyal?! Where is my twin brother, demon!" Robin's words leak venom as he slams a hand against the barrier.

Danyal tremblesPhantom was amused.

"Bats, tell your brat to back off! That's the ghost king's fuckin' ambassador." The Hellblazer hissed, watching as Batman pulled his son away.

But Damian—Robin—stands still.

Phantom grinned, flashing his teeth as he leaned closed to the barrier. Even when his appearance was born of inverted colors with Lazarus eyes rather than the sky, Damian could recognize his twin's face anywhere.

Both of them knew what happened to Danyal. Killed by his own brother.

But only Phantom knew what happened after.

"Oh little bird... I killed him."

Masterpost

[president-coriolanus-snow]

WHAT ARE WE?!

WRITERS!!!

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!

WRITE!!!!!

WHEN ARE WE GONNA DO IT?!

((Disgruntled muttering))

[randomfandomfamily]

EVENTUALLY!!

[coffie-coffieraptorstudios]

[darthlenaplant]

[starlightshadowsworld]

First of all, rude.

[saphesolous]

Second of all, I’m getting to it.

[pinkwisteria]

in a minute, I promise

[peanut-jelly]

just a sec i swear

[darkmodepls]

One of my personal headcanons is that, if Amity Park is entirely liminal, Jason is always the first person to discover it and regularly goes to visit on holidays. Amity's enthusiastic and incredibly violent holidays.

So, Jason is super excited to go see his girlfriend during the Walpurgis Night festival. So excited that he has entirely thrown caution out the window and has been gushing about this festival to his henchmen.

Gotham being Gotham, word makes it back to the Rogues. While some of the meta Rogues are planning to cause havoc while the Bats are without a heavy hitter, some of the Rogues more involved in organized crime (Penguin, Two-Face, Black Mask) decide to try and take out Hood while his guard is down.

The City Spirit of Amity apparently finds this hilarious as it does nothing to stop them from crossing its borders and actually giggles at them.

Thoroughly creeped out by the disembodied laughter, the Rogues spread out to find Hood.

Penguin gets accosted by his Cousin Jack and is dragged off screen. Two-Face somehow starts a fist fight with Box Ghost over whether the number 2 or the number 4 is better. Black Mask actully holds Hood at gun point for all of 3 minutes before he gets bowled over by the brawling duo.

The Amity residents consider this is as good a reason as any to kick off the festivities a couple hours early.

The next three days proceed like the chorus of The Irish Drinking Song. The fighting is only interrupted by offers of food and alcohol.

Hood and the Rogues roll back into Gotham still drunk and slightly concussed. They all stay on friendlier terms once they sober up and at least one of them takes Jason up on his offer of going to another Amity Park Holiday.

[capricedhusara]

Bonus points: Black Mask is the one who wants to go again. Nobody in Amity Park has even the slightest reaction to his appearance beyond some people thinking he looks cool, on account of them believing he's a ghost or liminal. He hasn't felt this good about himself and been so comfortable with the face he sees in the mirror in ages.

[darkmodepls]

The Penguin does not get asked.

Oswald made the mistake of showing up at his cousins' hometown once and no amount of excuses are going to stop the Fentons from dragging him to their family gatherings.

There is no escape, the cousins with superstrength will stuff you into a burlap sack if you don't come quietly.

The Riddler mocks him for this and gets dragged to the Roast Turkey Hunt as "Cousin Oz's Boyfriend."

They were not dating before.

Ed steals a Peking duck and somehow smuggled it back to Gotham.

Goober the Zombie Duck is his new sidekick.

[capricedhusara]

Bonus points (addition): Assuming that Amity Park is ghost friendly at this point (or at least kicked out the GIW and reigned in the Doctors Fenton so they're actually helping stop troublemakers instead of shooting at every ghost they see), let's say someone (Harvey "Two Face" Dent) meets a Yeti and gets to talking about tech and medicine with them. On returning to Gotham, Harvey, being a Rogue less out of any actual inclination towards it than as a response to trauma induced mental illness, thinks about his conversation with the Yeti and has an idea. Mr. Freeze is a Rogue purely because he wants to save his terminally ill wife that he put in cryosleep to buy time so he could develop a cure for her, and turned to crime to fund his research. Victor would like nothing more than to save Nora, hang up the ice gun, and retire from being a Rogue; hell he'd probably willingly serve a few years in Arkham or Blackgate for his crimes and actually get the professional help he definitely needs after so long as a Rogue operating because he didn't see a better way to achieve his (extremely understandable) goals. Couldn't hurt to ask Red Hood when he's planning to visit Amity Park again and see if they could bring Freeze along for the ride to introduce him to the Yetis so they can help him make that cure for Nora, maybe even fix Victor himself so he doesn't need his suit anymore while they're at it.

[dragongirlmesilune]

Penguin and Riddler: *Trudging back into the Iceberg Lounge looking rather beat up.*

Bane: Dios los mio, what happened to you two?!

Both: THANKSGIVING

@darkmodepls @capricedhusara @hdgnj @stealingyourbones

[hdgnj]

Ed opens his pet carrier and Goobler the Zombie duck waddles out angrily. People scatter from the angry duck in fear.

Harley: What the FUCK Ed?

Ed: Meet Goobler. Oz's cousins made him. Also apparently we give of couple energy? I got dragged to thanksgiving as his partner.

Oz: No matter how hard I tried to explain I was still single they wouldn't believe me. We got forced to share a room.

Ivy: There was only one bed?

Ed nodded solemnly.

Ed: There was only one bed. Also, his niblings are feral. I thought only the local street kids and robins were like that.

[dragongirlmesilune]

Harley:... Can Ivy and I come next time?

Oz: Only if you're willing to put up with excessive amounts of violence.

Harley: DEAL!!!

*Bane shares a look with Killer Croc. They are SO sneaking along!*

@hdgnj @darkmodepls @capricedhusara @stealingyourbones

[hdgnj]

Oz just sighs and gets a bus. He knows this will do the rounds. And while he wouldn't inflict the lot of them on any other city? He knows Amity Park will be just fine.

Ed: Should we want them?

Harley: Yeah! We can be a bit much!

Oz: ... No. No we don't need to earn them. They'll do just fine!

Harley:... I get the feelin I'm missin something?

Oz: Nothing to worry about my dear!

[darkmodepls]

The Truce is the next major holiday after Turkey Hunt, but that's not one the Rogues would be interested in. A month of enforced peace for the various winter holidays would not sound like a good time.

New years on the other hand....

The Blessed Bash is yet another city-wide brawl. This one sees high attendance from Spirits, Gods, and other Embodiments.

The mortals and ghosts spar and whoever wins the match receives a "blessing" from the loser. This can mean actual divine blessings on the ghost side of things, but the mortals have introduced them to the concept of 'token blessings' as a substitute.

Token blessings are pieces of candy or toy doublooms inscribed with an inspirational quote or small goodwill message.

The goal is to accumulate blessings to 'spend' in the new year.

[hdgnj]

A week where the goal is to go ape shit? And beat each other bloody for fun? Count them the Fuck in!

Obviously all of the rogues leaving en masse. At the same time? To the same place? Raised some red flags. Jason's off hand mention of the 'Blessed Bash'? Does not help. Jason, what the fuck? What do you mean? Do you know where they're going? Why do you know? What do you mean don't worry about it? Jason get back here?!?!

----

Meanwhile, this year's Bash? Has been even better! Sam got to fight Poison Ivy! Poison Ivy! She got to fight her idol!?!?! Tucker? Got to fight Killer Croc. And Danny? He threw down with Bane. All three have had a great time! And they got to fight other Gotham Rogues!

Danny takes advantage of Uncle Oz's connections shamelessly. He wants to fight them all! Uncle Oz! Introduce me to your friends!!!!!

The rogues? Are pretty charmed by the troublesome trio. All three just hitting 18-19 and already like this? Fantastic! Hey, if you ever wanna commit a crime? We would be happy to let you run with us for a bit! Now now Oz. It's only polite to offer!

Jason as usual is throwing down with whoever. And hanging out with Lancer. But knows his shot about books! They are total lit buddies. Jason gets showed around to the book club as a promising youth! Hear that B! He's promising!

[dragongirlmesilune]

@hdgnj Jazz is ECSTATIC when Uncle Oz brings his friends to the Brawl.

SHE GOT TO TALK TO HARLEEN QUINZEL AND JOHNATHAN CRANE!!! TWO OF HER PSYCHOLOGY IDOLS!!! BEST LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER!!!

The only one not invited to the Brawl is the Joker.

So, of course, he decides to crash the party!

Bad idea.

The Amity Parkers and the other Rogues (plus Red Hood) stop just short of actually killing him, saying it would make Batman mad and they might not be able to come back next time.

Joker does not try it again.

[hdgnj]

Joker got tied up and used as a pinata. Then shipped back to Arkham in a body cast. Man will never walk quite right again.

The Batclan? Really want to know what the Fuck is going on. But Jason won't talk. The rogues won't talk. Amity Park seems normal enough (when it's not a holiday). If not weird for The low crime rate and high percentage of metas. But nice and calm. (all lies. Outsiders don't get to see). So why do the rogues like their holidays so much?

[evilminji]

To be fair... the man didn't bring Blessings to the Bash. I mean? Holidays have RULES and Mr. J here broke um. If he had FOLLOWED the rules they would have let him stay. Morally repugnant cretin or not.

Glass houses and shit, ya know? Some oh those deity are not exactly squeaky clean. But! And this was his undoing~

Fucker thought he was Too Good for the Rules. Nuh Uh, you lose, you bless! Where is there Blessing Candy or something?

He? Probably tried to hand them a "Funny" poisoned candy.

Whiiiich? Is a CURSE!

Traditionally? If you are expected to give blessing but DONT? You are Rude.

But if you CURSE when expected to Bless? Unforgivable Offense. He effectively turned EVERY Supernatural Entity in the area against him in one action. Punishment Time.

[hdgnj]

Joker will never be the same again. Every powerful deity at that years bash? Cursed him with somthing. From petty "May you stub your toe in every table", to "Your plans will always go wrong", and "May you live in interesting times" . When he gets back to Gotham? The general cursed aura of the city makes them worse.

Joker will never know good times again. Batman is baffled. Pleased but baffled. Somehow Joker is now less of an issue than condiment King? All of the bad luck in the city seems to home in on him. Which is great. Makes him super easy to take out and put back in Arkham. But also, super weird. What the fuck happened in Amity Park? And why can't he figure it out?!?

[phantom-dc]

When the villains are all leaving on the bus, Batman is very confused and incredibly worried. All his rogues working together like this? That is very, very bad! So he warns the others. He calls Tim, Dick, Duke, Kate...

And Jason. Who immediatly takes a selfie with all the rogues from within the bus. Like he was going to mis the next bash!

[a-dot-dev]

Jason: Selfie

Jason: its okay I'm supervising 👍

[thatrandomsarahchick]

The most disturbing thing is that the person sitting next to him and posing for the selfie is Black Mask. 

SINCE WHEN DID THEY GET ALONG??? 

[hdgnj]

Bruce decides its time for a family holiday! Let's all go to Amity Park! See the sights! .... Ah. Damian. Damian no! Oh fuck I've lost Damian too! Dick? Tim? Cass?? Steph?????

[mkarchin713]

The BatFam has scattered around Amity Park

Bruce lost Damian the second his youngest saw that glowing green dog. (Cujo)

Dick ran off to join a circus trope. (Circus Gothica-dans freakshow)

Tim is bartering with horned being with a night sky robe to see if he can find a way to lose his need to sleep. (Nocturn)

Cass is trying to teach an anthropomorphic wolf ASL (Wulf)

Stephanie ran off with a tiny pirate that he can’t see. (Youngblood)

Duke won’t get out of the car because the people are “too bright”.

Barbara is talking with a floating green man who resembles Nicolas Tesla (Technus)

Harper and Cullen seem to be talking gadget with a couple in hazmat suits (Jack and Maddie)

Alfred is having tea with a living shadow that looks like Bruce’s mother and a blue man with a clock in his chest and a teenager in odd clothes who keeps looking at Bruce strangely. (Lady Gotham, Clockwork and Terry McGinnis)

At least Bruce still had Jarro

…. Wait, where’s Jarro?

[darkmodepls]

Jarro has found himself in the kiddie fighting rink.Bruce is horrified that they're subjecting kids to this sort of thing even after he’s told its no different from tag.

He feels a little better once the match ends with no serious injuries and every kid smiling and laughing.

Amity is always strange, but it's much more toned down outside of Holidays. Fights are mostly restricted to between 3 and 7 pm on Weekdays and are much smaller than the festive free-for-alls.

Still, there's at least one barfight Batman tries to break up. When the barkeep calls the cops, it's for him and not the brawlers.

[absolutely-esme]

It's at this point when someone who's had to talk numerous new ghosts (and/or liminals) through the transition pulls Batman aside and explains things to him.  They are patient and understanding, but also firm where they need to be.  They get where he's coming from, but that was socially inappropriate and he needs to not do it again.

I was initially imagining Frostbite giving this talk, because he has wise mentor vibes, but now I'm thinking it might be funnier if it was, say, Skulker sitting Batman down and talking to him in "reasonable adult walking a kid through a teachable moment" mode.  It could also be funny to have it be the Box Ghost.  Then again, it might make sense, he's probably had lots of practice explaining things to Box Lunch.

[hdgnj]

Skulker is the arresting officer. He is after all the greatest hunter. Yes it is a waste of his skills. But at least the job allows him to use them at all.

He gets in Box Ghost to go over the town's rules. Once Bruce has agreed he understands the local customs he is released with Box Ghost as a native guide. Box Lunch wanders up to show her Papa her new friend Jarro. And Bruce gets to play proud Papa with his new guide.

Jarro and Box Lunch? Are being absolute terrors in the best way. And Bruce? Is loving that his best boy can have fun in this town safely. Box Ghost is glad his baby has a new friend as well. And of course! This means when Phantom shows up? He gets introduced. Because Box Lunch is his little sister! She decided and he didn't deny it! So it's true!

Bruce gets to meet the hero who caused all this. And lots of his questions get answered. And he gains lots of new ones. But seeing Phantom being so gentle with his son, and Box Lunch? Well, he's already biased in his favour.... Oh no. He likes the sassy teen hero. Dammit!

[absolutely-esme]

I have some very important questions.

Is Jarro toddling along next to Box Lunch holding her hand, or is he wrapped around her arm starfish-style due to a size difference?  

Are the kids bouncing excitedly as they tell the story of how they became friends?

Are baby ghost brawls more like actual fights or really enthusiastic tackle hugs?

How happy is Batman to see Jarro making a friend?  

I have to imagine there was a lot of concern about Jarro's social development, since they would've been hard pressed to enroll him in a school with normal kids.  Maybe Amity Park will be good for him.

[hdgnj]

Jarro and Box Lunch are cuddling very enthusiastically. Box Lunch is floating them around so they can continue to cuddle. And they are both babbling away happily about their adventures.

Baby Ghost brawls are very much how toddlers and kids fight. Scrappy and with lots of rolling around on the floor and tackling each other.

Bruce is beyond pleased that Jarro has somewhere No one even looks at him twice. That just goes, ok. Do you need anything special! No? Ok carry on then. Bruce adores that his baby can wander about safely and make ffriends and be social to his hearts content. Bruce likes this town. For all its weirdness.

Bruce is absolutely going to be bringing his kids here more often. Heck he might even see if he can install a zeta tube so Jarro can go to school here.

Even the rest of his life love this place. And for all the brawls? No one is attempting to harm anyone else. Yes the Ghost fights between adults are worrying. But they heal fast. And they have learned to pull their punched with humans. And it seems to be doing his rogues some good. Batman deal of approval.

[darkmodepls]

I guess seeing Amity Park is like watching a dream come true for so many metas, regardless of them being heroes or villains.

it's a town where superpowers are commonplace and acceptance is universal.

There is no being ostracized for your appearance or automatically vilified powers. Where you can find support for any of needs.

So you can shape-shift? There's a club for that every Wednesday at the community theater.

Cat powers made you an obligate carnivore? Sounds tough, luckily the youngest Foley opened a restaurant for inverse vegans.

Ptsd? There's like 30 different support groups for various religious and political affiliations.

And if you want to push your powers to the max or fight just for the thrill, there's plenty of opportunity during Holidays

[hdgnj]

Yup. And obviously there are still issues. The culture is very strange to adapt to. Sometimes space distorts and you end up in another realm. Buildings appear/disappear at random. The shop on the corner? Only exists on the weekend. You can't go down that street at night. Outsiders sometimes cause problems. The government does sometimes try to attack. And well, there are a LOT of very powerful beings that appear at random. And some of them will make you get a migraine from their sheer power.

But the crime rate is pretty much non existent. No one is a bastard about who you are or how you look. Having powers will not stop you getting a job. Unless said power makes you doing the job dangerous. For you or others. Pretty much everyone has a job. The housing prices are cheap. Because houses kinda.. Grow overnight at times.

And there is always someone who can help with control issues. And yeah, friendly fights to help with your powers? There is always someone willing. Heck the town made an arena for it. So you can go wild.

[lolottes]

I imagine that some rascals like killer croc will be offered a test trip to Amity park to see if they will be better off there rather than the beats sending them back again to the classic authorities

[hdgnj]

Once he starts getting out of crime? Bruce absolutely tries to send him to Amity Park to see if they can keep jim. If Jason doesn't suggest it first. Waylon? Would love the place. He'd have no idea how to deal with people not being scared of him. But he'd love it.

I can just imagine Danny and Ellie deciding he clearly needed friends. And looking at their parents who are mad even for Amity. And going... You know what? They need better friends than Vlad. And dragging him to theirs. While Waylon is visibly confused.

[absolutely-esme]

At some point, someone receives a photo of Waylon Jones sitting on a couch next to a large man in a bright orange jumpsuit. The man in orange is grinning widely and has an arm around Waylon's shoulders. Waylon looks baffled but cautiously optimistic. Each is holding a piece of fudge.

[hdgnj]

The best part? They are about the same size. So no one in the family would ever even think about being spooked by him. They are already used to a mountain of a man. Waylon finds them very odd. But he likes them. Especially the nibblets! No fear, so much chaos! They are fantastic!

[hdgnj]

My brain just pushed the crack ship agenda. Make Waylon and the Fenton parents slowly fall in love. And eventually have a none legal, but very valid wedding. Ghost style. So the Batclan, various friendly Gotham rogues, and local beings who are friends with the Fenton's? Get together for a small tournament.

Danny, Ellie and Jazz like their new Pops. He's gruff and sometimes a bit of an ass. But he's their gruff asshole. Bruce is highly confused by how this happened. But thrilled, he never had to worry about Waylon causing problems. The Sirens and Outlaws are gleeful. Look at you, getting a husband AND a wife! And three step kids! Good going!

[darkmodepls]

Oddly enough, I can kinda see Waylon becoming a kindergarten teacher.

Sure Outsiders think he's scary but Parkers think he's downright cuddly.

It started out with him acting as a spontaneous bouncer by using his bulk to shield the playground from some overly enthusiastic revelers during a Holiday and ended with half his class of 28 sporting razor sharp teeth.

Liminals can shift their bodies based on self-image and the little ones thought Mr. Jones' crocodile teeth were "really cool"

[hdgnj]

He loves that there's a whole city where no one runs away scared. Even the kids don't fear him!

His first month as a teacher he would be so scared of accidentally hurting the kids. Until one of the little bastards but him. And ripped out a chunk of his arm. After that it properly sunk in that they were not that squishy.

His step kids love to help out as well. So he sometimes has assistants to corral the ankle biters. And he means that literally. Liminal kids bite, affectionately, by still! He has scars from it! Someone without a healing factor? Stands no chance. c

It's no wonder they hired him to look after the little ones! He's pretty good at teaching control. And he can heal from any slip ups. Plus, PE is just brawl training. And he is REAL good at that! Kids from his classes dominate the winners podium for sports day.

[spookberry]

Its past their bedtime

[hecate-hollow]

Danny has been cornered by the justice League who have finally learned about a teenage hero operating unmonitored in a small town. They want him to join young Justice or Teen titans or some other group and they want to assign him a mentor to learn from and Danny’s confused

“I already have a mentor,” he tells them. But they don’t believe him. They think he’s lying so they’ll go away.

Eventually after some back and forth he huffs and says. “Fine I’ll ask if I can join your little club or not.” Not even a second later a green sticky note pops into existence and flutters down before Danny snatches it from the air.

A quick laugh before he flips it over “Clocky says no. Sorry. Now kindly get out of my city before someone thinks it would be ‘cute. To possess you and attack me.”

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: Ugh, they're back again

Jazz: Don't make that face at paying customers. Do you want to make a portal back home?

Danny rolling his eyes: Yes

Jazz: Then we need to get enough money to buy the parts. If that means waiting tables at a barely legal dinner, where idiots hit on us, then we wait those stupid tables. Now go over there and get the Waynes to leave us a 200 tip.

Danny: Fine, but only if you do too!

Jazz: *Tighten her apron straps into an hourglass figure* Way ahead of you.

Danny: *Rolling eyes but does the same*

Meanwhile with the Waynes

Bruce: It's so nice to go out to eat with you all

Alfred: Indeed. It's a nice change, don't you agree, children?

Wayne kids: *hyperventilating*

Bruce Not looking up from his phone: The Fenton siblings?

Alfred: Indeed, sir. It seems like Master Dick, Master Jason, and Miss Cass are going to attempt to speak to Ms. Fenton today. Master Tim, Master Damian, Master Duke, and Miss Steph don't seem mentally ready to look Mister Fenton in the eye. Bets?

Bruce: Dick chokes on his fork again. Tim face plants on the table, and Steph once again speaks in gibberish after forgetting the entire English language.

Alfred: Very good, sir.

[uniasus]

Nither Danny nor Jazz were big flirts, but they learned together that flirting and a bit of skin led to bigger tips.

Danny tucked in his shirt, rolled up his sleeves to expose his forearms, tousled his hair, dabbed a bit of clear lip gloss on his lips, and strutted towards the Waynes with a try full of waters held in one hand. People had types, and the Waynes all seemed to like subtle strength.

"What can I get you this morning?"

He flashes Tim a smile, who slumps behind the menu. Dick snickers at him, but his own ears go red when Jazz flicks her fingers at him in a hello from across the cafe.

"Pantoast," Steph says confidently.

"You got!" Danny pulls out his pen with a twirl and writes both pancakes and french toast on his pad. The Waynes can afford the extra plate, and a bigger bill means bigger tips. "Toppings?"

Danny scratches at his chest, feeling four set of eyes follow his fingers.

"Pecs, eh, pecans," Steph sputters. Danny graciously ignores the flob, even as Damian scoffs at her.

Steph's flusters are always cute.

"Blueberry pancakes for Damian?" Danny asks. It's not what Damian always orders, but its favorite and the youngest Wayne always seems to preen when Danny remembers.

Damian nods, and Danny goes around the table. Most of what they order is heavy on the protein, omelets and skillets and eggs benedict for Duke, with extra tomatoes. Alfred simply orders orange juice and a fruit cup.

Danny touches Tim's hand, just to watch him blush. "Gonna try decaf today?"

"N, no."

"Double latte it is then."

Danny knows they have shit coffee, but the machine latte is okay. Danny also knows the Waynes can afford much better. They're here for one, okay, two reasons only.

He delivers the food with a smile, leaning farther than needed over Tim's lap to place down Duke's plate. He bites his lip while doing so for Damian. Brushes fake crumbs off his chest for Steph as he double checks he hasn't missed something.

Bruce Wayne smiles into his mug of bad coffee.

It's all fun, teasing the Wayne kids. Danny enjoys the tips, the family enjoys poking fun at each other. And when they're dining, the other patrons behave better. Jazz gets less taps on her rear, Danny less pulls on his apron ties.

Jason tried once, to ask Jazz out. She pretended confusion, not recognizing it for what it was.

They can only tease and play, after all. They will be out of here as quick as they can be.

Jazz volunteers to take over the coffee pot for a refill to get in some face time, and Danny sees Tim elbow Jason and Steph waggle her eyebrows at Cass, who ignores it all as she watches Jazz pour coffee without a single drop.

In another life, in another dimension, maybe Danny would be more open to one of them making a move.

Instead, he rings up the order. $300 for brunch at a three star restaurant. The Waynes can eat. And drink. Drip coffee is 0.25 a refill, and Tim's three lattes add up too.

$60 for a 20% tip, a round hundred cuz they're Waynes, an extra fifty for the flirting. It's not much, but it'll do for a guy with no papers working under the table.

He places the check on the table near Bruce's hand. He doesn't rush them out, and any coffee refills Danny is willing to pay for with his tip. Tim's not on the edge anymore, he's traded spots with Duke, and Danny smiles at him.

"Good luck with midterms. They're coming up soon, yeah?"

"Yeah." He's not as shy and squirmy as the others, but his voice is so soft around Danny. He likes being seen.

"Tell me how they went next week."

He flutters his eyelashes just a bit. Holds his gaze as he picks up plates.

The Waynes will be back, and next week Jazz will take the table. Week after week after week. Until the Waynes get tired of their current status quo or Danny finishes the portal.

He's got eight months to enjoy this.

[dcxdpdabbles]

I ADORE the small ways Danny flirts with them and Bruce smiling into his cup!!!

[captainadwen]

When the portal first turns on, all the lights in the apartment flicker. Later, they will cause the largest blackout in Gotham's recent history. For now, the momentary darkness is illuminated by a sputter of green. Danny's shitty miniature closet, now covered in metal gadgetry and wires, crackles with contained lightning. Their breaths catch.

And then - silence. The lightning zaps against metal. Green fades out, and the lights turn back on.

"No," Danny breathes out, stumbling into the portal as if to grasp the swirling ecto with his hands. He fails, same as when he'd tried to rip open a portal through his own powers, and his gloved fist slams against the metal as he lets out some truly vitriolic curses. Gotham had been educational in that regard.

For her part, Jazz's knees go limp and she slums to the floor. Her teeth bite into the meat of her cheek and she listens, mind blank, as Danny paces.

" - the safety switch is on, I'm not that dumb. Voltage was good - maybe the building cables are too old? How are we supposed to replace that?"

"It wasn't the cables," says Jazz, finding her voice calm. "We bypassed into the grid - "

"I guess we're going to have to change that back before we get found," Danny rubs a hand down his face and sprawls beside her, staring up at the portal's ceiling covering his closet. His voice is small as he admits, "I don't know how I fucked up."

He'd grown up so much this past year, his voice deepening and stubble needing to be shaved off with such frequency he'd spent a week preening about it. In the mirror he looked increasingly like their father, shoulders broad and strong. Jazz stretched out beside him and grabbed his hand, and together they numbly observed their hopes and dreams sputter around them.

"Do you think this is how mom and dad felt when their portal failed?" Jazz asks.

"Theirs didn't fail," said Danny. "The safety switch was turned off."

"Ambient ecto levels match Amity," said Jazz, forcing her brain to think mechanical analytics instead of psychoanalyzing herself and her brother, or worrying about going back to their boring, unfulfilling waiter jobs as they hustled for money.

At least they'd see the Wayne family again. Maybe if they were stuck here she'd flirt back for real.

"It's not enough," said Danny. "It was never enough to be a power source, that's why they blew out all the blocks. The calculations don't match - I know the blueprints of the portal and I know I matched it. Maybe they added an extra power source besides electricity?" He starts muttering calculations and possible fuel sources. Jazz tunes him out when he starts wondering where to get uranium.

A horrible thought had occurred to Jazz and she squeezed her little brother's cold hand tightly. It wasn't only ghosts who existed in the Infinite Realms, but they made up a majority of the creatures found. How did they get there? Ambient ecto, strong emotions -- that created shades, like the countless they'd encountered in Gotham. How did they cross over?

This dimension had been thrilling and concerning all at once. So many heroes, and so many insane villains to match, and aliens and gods and the safety of the planet got threatened every other week. At least it didn't fall to Danny to fix things, but. She's pretty sure at least some of those doomsday scenarios involved odd magics that sucked out the soul to power something else.

"Does death give off energy?"

Danny cut himself off and gave her a look. "Duh, ecto."

"There's the missing link," said Jazz. "It's gotta be, right?"

"What, death? I can't exactly build this on a graveyard. Can you imagine the headlines? Actually, can you imagine the bats?"

She sat up. "I mean. You."

"Me," said Danny. Then, "Oh." A nervous laugh escaped him, eyeing the portal in his closet the same way a mouse watched a feral cat. "You think. I created the portal?"

"You must have," said Jazz. The triumph of certainty forced her to stand up, pulling Danny up and clutching both his hands now. "That's the missing link. The extra energy!"

"And how is that going to help us?" Danny cried, giving their clutched hands an incredulous shake. "Do you want us to kill someone just to get back home?"

That snapped her triumph back to reality. She and Danny stared at each other. "And what if you're wrong?" Danny's eyes gleamed green around the edges. "We'd have just -- I refuse. I can't. And I can't exactly die a second time."

He paused. "I mean, I probably could, but - "

"No," said Jazz sharply. She was not as strong as Danny but he was unresisting as she hauled him out of the portal. His room was a mess of abandoned clothes around their packed belongings, strewn with metal parts and tools. They went to the very edge of the room, to the curtained window, and she spared a thought to hoping the green glow and flickering lights hadn't been spotted. The last thing they needed was the bats descending upon them now. Not when the portal was done. Not when they were so close.

"Maybe I'm wrong," said Jazz. Her body was between Danny and the portal, and it's gaping maw was not, objectively, hungry. It was just a trick of the mind. Her own racing heart acknowledging mortality. "And I mean, there's no guarantee it would work again the same way."

"It probably would," Danny muttered, looking out the window. "I did die again, before, when Sam - it worked again. And there's Vlad."

"Okay," said Jazz. "Okay. We can - "

"We won't," said Danny, sharply.

"Of course we won't," said Jazz. "But if we don't, then - "

"We could ask the Justice League for help ," said Danny without much enthusiasm. They shared a mutual grimace. "Like, 50-50 odds they do help us out. Batman isn't as much of a creepy fuck as he seemed at first. And Superman is downright cool! And an alien! They got to understand wanting to return home."

"And what are they going to do?" Jazz crossed her arms. "Stop saving the planet from Darkland - "

"Darkseid - " Danny corrected.

" - Just to help out two random people who can't even prove they're from another dimension punch a hole in reality? I refuse to be to be stuck here labeled as a supervillain just because there are actual curses on this horrible city with fantastic welfare resources that makes everyone with ambition go evil!"

"Shh," said Danny. He pushed the curtains to more fully cover the window. "Don't tempt fate. Or the bats. Or like, Justice League Dark."

Silence filled the apartment. "It's not the worst thing," said Jazz. "Being stuck here."

"Bats haven't yet figured out it's me doing lowdown vigilanteism," said Danny, without enthusiasm.

"You can get your GED!"

"I think American History is different here and I'll fail miserably."

"You can study for your GED," said Jazz, pointedly. "And me too. And Gotham U has pretty good scholarships."

"I bet we can seduce the Wayne's into paying tuition."

That made Jazz laugh. "We could. I think they've offered it, actually." She'd pretended at ignorance the first time, then demurred the next. They hadn't offered thrice, but it was only a matter of time.

"I can convince them to give me a job at Wayne Tech," said Danny. "Behold: I build portals that don't work."

She elbowed him lightly. "No guys in white to hunt you down."

"No crazy ghost hunting parents," said Danny, but his voice wavered.

"Yeah," said Jazz. She turned back to the dark, silent portal and bit her lip. "No parents."

"No friends."

"We haven't been very friendly."

"I miss them," Danny's voice cracked. "I miss them so bad. I want to go home!"

Even though he was taller than her now - an absolute travesty of genetics - he burrowed his face in her shoulder as they hugged. "We will," she murmured fervently. Maybe there was truth to the curses driving people evil here, because an insane idea took root in her mind. "We will. I promise." She hugged her little brother tighter.

When they separated and she calmly walked into the portal, Danny said, "What are you doing?"

"Turning the safety switch off," said Jazz, doing just that. It was a small thing, nothing like the original portal. Danny kept all the cables securely tied to the sides. After the accident he'd always been careful about lab safety protocols.

Accident. She can't call it that anymore.

"That's probably smart," said Danny. He rubbed his fist over his wet eyes. "I'll just. Unlatch from the power grid before someone realizes what we did."

"Okay," said Jazz. Her fingers were tight against the switch. "Hey Danny?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"Jazz? Jazz!"

The portal switched on. The swirl of green caught her abdomen, turning her entire body weightless. Then, the next second, while her senses struggled to reorient and her stomach realized it abruptly did not exist - displaced, moved into another dimension, ecto filling her senses like she could taste the color green - the electricity hit.

When she comes to, Danny is hunched over her. Her ears keep ringing long enough for him to start crying, and Jazz lifts a tired, heavy arm to wipe his tears away only for her hand to pass through his flesh. Her skin was blue, tinged green from the light of the portal behind them. He'd pulled her out of there. He'd pulled her out of the portal.

"It worked," said Jazz, her voice hoarse and barely a whisper. "It worked!"

"You fucking idiot!" cried Danny, dripping snot at tears all over her. "You - you - "

Jazz's tired hand falls to the ground. She can't feel her heartbeat. Her entire body aches, nerves dull and firing at the same time. A faint scent of pork mixed into the ecto in the air like an army of ecto-weenies marching out of their fridge. Maybe she'd gone full ghost and her body was still in the portal, eternally suspended in the ecto with electricity running through it's veins: the conduit. The missing link.

Was it like this when her little brother had died?

"We can go home," she told Danny. It was what mattered now. He'd have to carry her body into the portal, but by all the Ancients, they could go home.

"You died!"

"So did you!" Jazz forced her upper body upright. "Come on, Danny." If she was a ghost, why did her limbs have to ache so much? "Hey, how do you 'go human'?" A nervous laugh of pure hysteria escaped her. "I mean, I should probably check - "

Danny sucked in a large, desperate breath. Then he cracked again. Jazz ached to comfort him. She focused on the humanity of him - slipping back to life, her heart beating in her chest, the exhaustion in every one of her muscles -

The window shattered. Her elbows slipped and cracked into the floor, through the floor, and half her body followed until Danny's arms hauled her back up and pressed her to his chest. Past his shoulder she could barely see the dark shadow of one of the local bats, illuminated by the green portal light because every other light was dark. Could barely hear those affected gravely voices say, "Holy shit --? Danny? Jazz?"

"Don't come closer!" ordered Danny through the snot and tears, hauling her further upright and ready to bolt.

The sudden movement reminded her of her stomach that didn't exist anymore. Her body fought between passing out and throwing up.

And it was that: the darkness tinging her vision that forced her out of it, less a gentle slide into being alive and more like tumbling down a slope. Gravity slammed into her and forced her back down, her hair turning red again, skin going from hypothermic to pale.

"Fuck yeah, I'm not dead," wheezed Jazz, newly human and alive again, and then threw up at the mouth of the portal her death created.

"What," said the bat. "The fuck."

[genius11rare]

Prev tags

[pinkbarbiebandaids]

yet another dcxdp prompt

y'all know those influencers who walk up to people and ask questions?

imagine this, a reporter is asking citizens of Gotham their opinions on the various bats in the city when they stumble across Danny.

sleep deprived and looking it, Danny is not paying attention to the reporter at all.

reporter: "What is your opinion of Red Hood?"

danny, who stayed up all night playing smash or pass with sam and tucker, only hearing red hood: "Smash."

and then danny keeps walking, unaware that he'd just gone viral with only a single word.

[ailithnight]

"Smash."

He absolutely does!

Right into a wall!

His siblings are never letting him live this down.

[hdgnj]

Dick: Did you guys see the interview guy on youtube? OMG the sleep deprived college student asked about Jaybird really just said smash. Nothing else! No context!

Tim: I did. It's gone viral. Has Jay seen it yet you reckon?

Cass: No, he would be hiding.

Duke: That is true. Oh man, you gotta wait till he's grappling to tell him.

Steph: You want payback for the last sparring match don't you?

Duke: He dislocated my knee! Yes I want payback. Especially if it leads to him slamming face first into a wall!

Babs: I can pop it up on his visor during a slow moment?

Duke: I love you Babs!

Dick: Same! This is gonna be great! Cass, you should follow him on patrol! He likes you most! Say you want bonding time or something! Record his reaction!

Cass: 👌💜💚

Tim: This is going to be awful! I love it. Anyway, has anyone sent it to B yet?

Dick: What did B do to deserve that?

Tim: Bitch stole my coffee.

Dic: Got it. Uh, why is Damian not reaponding?

Tim: I can hear screams of rage. I'm guessing he is displeased by the disrespect shown our family or something? I dunno. You go ask him.

Dick: Will do!

Cass: Tim 😅

Tim: Oh I know. But Damian probably won't hurt Dick like he would us so....

Steph: Ah yes. Dick the ever dependable shield from Stabby brat.

Dick: So! Good news! Damian is enraged about Jay being disrespected, but has decided not to track the 'Disgraceful lecher' down to make him recant his words!

Tim: If it had been about you? Demon Brat would already have killed the guy. you know that right?

Dick: I know, I am in fact loved!

Steph: Yeah yeah big bird. We know. Also, a new video of him has popped up. His friends saw it and filmed his reaction to what he did. It's hilarious you need to watch it before patrol. Here *link*

Dick: I have been blessed today. Now patrol! Cass get Jay! We need his reaction. We can post it as a reaction to the initial video!

Meanwhile at the flat team phantom share.

Tucker: Oh my Ancients. Sam, watch this!

Sam: Oh no! Danny. Oh no. Oh bless. Fucking madlad. We need to film his reaction to this. He's still asleep right?

Tucker: Yes. We grab a camera, wake him up. While he's still half asleep we show him the video and get his genuine reaction!

Sam: Tucker, if I were less of a lesbian I would kiss you!

Tucker: And if I were less scared I'd allow it!

Tucker and Sam go into his room, the camera picks up their giggles. Sam flops in the bed and starts poking a protesting sleepy Danny.

Sam: Danny! You gotta get up!

Danny: noooooooo! Sleep! Lemme sleep!

Sam: No can do buddy. You went viral. Come on up.

Danny: How did I go viral? I didn't do anything?

A bleary eyed Danny poked his head out of a cover looking confused and rumpled. Sam pushes a phone into his hand and plays the video. Danny starts to flush as he sees what he did. He quickly hides under the covers wailing as his friends laugh.

Tucker: Oh come on bestie! There are worse ways to get famous!

Danny: No! I don't wanna be famous! I just wanna get my degree! oh no! That was so rude. Oh my Ancients! Why did I do that!

Sam: Aww poor baby bisexual having a crisis?

Danny: Yes! Look! Just cause he's hot doesn't mean I should thirst on main about it! Fucking hell!

Tucker: So, thirsting on main isn't allowed?

Danny: No! Just cause he's famous for being a badass vigilante doesn't mean I should be all gross about it!

Sam: I mean, all you did is say 'smash'. Not as bad as the tweets I've seen about Wonder Woman. Like I get why they exist but they shouldn't be spread to the world.

Danny: I know! But! I live in the same city! If I ever get saved by him I'll be known as the guy who said smash! That's like, the worst kind of civilian to be! Sam, I can't leave the house! Ever! Kill me now!

Tucker: Oh deal with it you big baby. Don't worry. Once I upload this video I'm sure this will go viral instead!

Danny: Tucker. You have five seconds to run!

Tucker: Shit! Fuck!

After that the video degenerates into the three college students fighting and shrieking with laughter. Tucker managed to upload it before Danny could get the phone, but only barely.

Dick immediately sends it to Damian who finally responds in the group chat.

Damian: I suppose I can forgive his indiscretion given that he clearly wasn't fully aware at the time. And indeed disapproves of his own actions.

Tim: Wow, and all it took was his friends publicly humiliating him. Poor guy. Twice in one day.

Damian: Watching Todd's flailing should be amusing at least.

[ailithnight]

Babs does as Duke requested and pops the video up on Hood's visor during a slow, low moment of grappling later that night. Cass there to catch the moment on Mask Cam. And as predicted, Hood goes face first into a wall.

Then falls a couple stories.

Into a dumpster.

Right in front of none other than 'Smash' himself.

Who stares befuddled at the situation for a moment. Then groans seemingly up at the universe itself.

"That is not what I meant and you know it."

[lbjeff]

CW *grinning like an evil god*: No, I don’t

[freedomanddisorder]

I was watching a ghost hunter show where the ‘ghost’ could only use the machine to say pre-recorded words. And I had an idea. We know that technology can’t always work with ectoplasm. So what if ghost speak couldn’t be heard over the phone? And to call for help, the Amity Parkers had to get creative to get ahold of the Justice League when the GIW declares all out war on all the ghosts and liminal in town.

Dead End Call

“Hello, you have reached the Justice League emergency hotline. What is the nature of your emergency?”

“Hello, hello. Emergency, hello. Justice League.” A distorted male voice answered back.

“Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me? what is the nature of your emergency?” Green Lantern asked again.

“I can hear you, emergency. Hello Justice League. Hello emergency.”

“Do you need help? Can you hear me?”

“Help. Help. Can you hear me? Help.” The voice distorted again to something like static.

“Prank calls aren’t funny kid. This is an emergency line.” With an exasperated sigh, Green Lantern hung up.

“What was that about?”

“It’s just a prank call. Some kid using a voice mod thing.”

“Really? That’s annoying.”

“I know. But it’s not that unusual. Kids don’t have anything better to do during the summer.”

“I guess. What are you doing on hotline duty? You’re not scheduled for refresher training for another few months, right?”

“Food fight in the cafeteria. Batman added everyone involved to additional monitor or dispatch duty twice a week for the next month.”

“Yikes. Hate to be you. Who else got caught?”

“Flash, Plasticman, Vigilante, and Shining Knight.”

Zatanna raised an eyebrow. “Can’t imagine Sir Justin getting involved in a food fight.”

Hal shrugged with a good-humored smirk, “Vig took a salad bowl to the head, Sir Justin jumped in to cover his retreat. Right in time for Bats to break up the fun.”

Zatanna giggled, “Poor Sir Justin.”

“Poor Sir Justin?” Hal Jorden gasped dramatically, “What about me? I was just an innocent bystander.”

“I’m sure you were.”

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Unlike you. I’m just here for one shift for refresher dispatch training.”

“Good for you. Well, have at it. The active-duty roster is on the big screen with who's suited up and available.”

Zatanna looked up at the large monitor with pinging dots in various locations around the world. “Alright. A bit better than the old system of scrolling for available heroes and asking where they are.”

“Yeah, Cyborg linked everyone’s com into the system so we can tell who is where, when their com is active.”

“Sounds good. Alright, Let’s do this.” Zatanna put headset on and clicked ‘available operator’ on the screen. Immediately her phone rang. “Hello, this is the Justice League Emergency Hotline. What is the nature of your emergency?”

“Emergency. Hello, Justice League. Emergency.” A female voice came through her headset. The connection was very poor. Interference and static came through.

“Can you hear me? This is the Justice League emergency Hotline. Do you need help?” Zatanna looked over at Hal. He was fiddling with his headset cord. He looked up at her and she gestured her head to the screen. It was the same number as his prank call.

“Hear me? Help. Justice League. Emergency Help.” The feminine voice sounded vaguely familiar. Zatanna ignored it to confront the prankster.

“Kid, this isn’t a joke. This is a serious line for actual emergencies. You can’t keep calling. I’m going to hang up now. Please don’t call back.”

“Isn’t a Joke. This isn’t a Joke. Please don’t. Hang up now. Actual Emergencies. Keep calling. Hotline. Justice League. Help. For actual emergencies.” The static under the female voice sharpened. Zatanna paused. Her finger was just hovering over the button to end the call when something stopped her. The tone of voice was sharp. Irritated. Also, strangely familiar. After a second it dawned on her. Hal was still looking at her, so she waved him over to listen into the call. Once he was listening with his own muted headset, she asked “Are you…? Are you repeating what I’m saying?”

“Repeating. Help. Isn’t a Joke. What I’m saying. Emergency. Help. Hello. Help. Emergency.”

Zatanna finally recognized the voice. “Is that my voice? Are you repeating with my voice?”

“Repeating. Voice. You. Emergency. Help. Isn’t a Joke. Help. Justice League. Don’t. Hang Up.”

“You’re using my voice to talk back to me? My words. And…You can only repeat what you hear… is that right?” Zatanna shared a glance with a horrified Hal. Him, just realizing he had hung up on an actual emergency. Not a kid playing a joke.

Zatanna’s own voice echoed staticky in her ear. “Right. Right. Can repeat. Only. Talk back. Using voice. Help. Emergency help.”

“Are you in danger?” She looked over at Hal who was typing on his own computer to trace the call origin. He looked back at her and shook his head. Weirdly, they can’t find where the signal is coming from.

“Danger. Emergency. Help Justice League. Help. In danger”

“I understand. I’m going to ask you where you are. Do you understand?” Zatanna was going to have to narrow this down. She pulled up a world map onto her screen.

“Understand. Help. Emergency.” The static in the voice softened slightly. Like relief.

“OK, we need to know where you are. What continent are you on? Asia? Africa? Australia? Europe? North America? South America?”

“North America. Help. Emergency.”

Zatanna clicked on the screen to enlarge the North American Continent. “OK, you’re in North America. Are you in Canada or America?”

“America. Help.”

Another click of the mouse to focus on the USA. “OK are you in the North, Northeast, Southeast, West, Southwest, or Midwest?”

“Midwest. Midwest. Help emergency. Help. America. Midwest.”

“OK I’m going to ask your state now. Do you know it?” Zatanna clicked on the Midwest region of the map to enlarge it more. Hal was standing up now. Anticipation making his body glow faintly green. He was texting something on his phone, but Zatanna ignored it to focus on her own echoing voice on the other end of the line.

“Know it. know it.” Her voice repeated back, “Ask.”

“Are you in North Dakota? Are you in Minnesota? Are you in South Dakota? Are you in Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan-“

The voice interrupted her. “Illinois. Illinois, Midwest America, Illinois. Help. Emergency. Justice League Help.”

“Do you know where in Illinois you are?”

“Yes, yes. Where Illinois. Emergency. Ask.”

Zatanna enlarged the map of the state infront of her. The closest hero was in Detroit Michigan and they didn’t’ have any abilities to help them get to Illinois quickly. She gestured to Hal to look at the screen. He nodded his understanding. “Do you know where in the state you are? what region or what county?

“County. Know. County.”

“OK I’m going to name a few counties. Tell me yes or no if you are there, okay?”

“Yes, yes. Tell me.”

Zatanna listed off the counties on the map. Her tongue slightly tangling over the midwestern words. “OK, Joe Durres, Steffensen, Winnebago, Boone, McHenry, Lake, Cook, Dupage, Kane, Dekalb, Ogle, Carroll, Whiteside, Lee-“

The voice interrupted again. “ Lake. County.”

“OK you’re in Lake County. is that right?” Zatanna clicked over the county and enlarged the map.

“Right. Right, help. Emergency. In Lake County.”

“OK I’m going to name off some cities in Lake County. Are you in a city? yes or no”

“City no. name cities. Yes.”

Zatanna paused for a second. “Do you mean you are not in a city, but you can name the closest one to you? yes or no?”

“Yes. Name. Closet one. Name. Closest. City. Emergency.”

“Okay. I understand. Are you in Gurney? are you in Libertyville, Grayslake, round lake, or round lake beach? Are you in Lake Forest, Zion, Vernon Hills, Highland Park, or north Chicago-“

The voice cut her off again. “Park.”

“Are you in Highland Park?”

“No. Park. In Park. Park. Park. Park. Emergency. In Park.” The tone of the voice did’t change but the words came faster, almost overlapping over themselves.

“OK calm down. Let me understand. Are you in a park or in a place called park?”

“In a place called Park. Help emergency. In place called park.”

Zatanna scanned the list of Illinois cities called ‘Park’ in the county. “OK are you in Round Lake Park or Beach Park, Deerfield Park, Park City, or Deer Park.”

“No. Place called Park. No city. place called park.”

“So you’re in a place called Park but it’s not a city is that right?”

“ Right. Place call park. Emergency. not city. Help.”

“OK, let's go down the list. Brook Park, Mill Park, Park Barrington, River Park, Park Township, VernonPark Hills, West Keegan Park, West Deerfield Park, Amity Park, Wheeling Park-“

“Amity. Amity Park. Emergency in Amity Park. Emergency in Amity Park. emergency help help emergency.”

“OK you're an Amity Park. Is that right?”

“Right. Right. In Amity Park”

Zatanna nodded to Hal who was still texting on his phone. He nodded back to her.

“OK, I know where you are now. Now we need to know what kind of emergency is it a natural disaster? is it a villain? is it an alien?”

“Villain. Emergency. villain villain villain.” The words came fast. Static was almost overwhelming.

“OK, calm down. I'm right here. Does the villain have powers or not.”

“Villian have. No. Powers. I'm here. Powers. Help. Natural- powers. Help. I'm. kind of. Natural. Help. Powers. We. Need help. OK?”

Zatanna paused. The sentences didn’t make sense. The villain did not have powers? But the caller said “I’m. Kind of. Natural.” She shared a look to Hal. Hal typed on his computer and a message appeared on her screen.

“I txted Flash. He can be there, but he needs to know what kind of situation he’s running into.” Zatanna read the message and nodded.

“OK. You need to give me more information. There are villains but they don’t have powers? Can you tell me what kind of natural powers you mean? Are they metagene powers? Are they magic? Are there weapons?”

“Magic. Weapons. Powers magic. I. powers. magic. Help. Can you help. Me?”

Zatanna felt a rush of fear. Magic powers. ‘Villains no powers. Weapons’ must mean that the villains don’t have any powers, but they have weapons that can affect the magic user who is calling. She looked over at Hal. He nodded. “Okay. I have magic too. I am going to Amity Park to help you. Can you tell me how many villains there are? Are there more than five or less than five?

“More than five. Villains. I have magic too. Villains. Weapons. more than we. I am going too. yes. Yes going. Help.”

So, the caller definitely needed magic backup. Zatanna gestured to Hal who began to send an all-notice message to any Magic using League hero. “Are the villains after your powers? is that right? the villains are attacking you for your powers?”

“Right. Right villains attacking for powers. Help emergency. More than me. Powers. Villains attacking. We need help. Amity park. Needs help.”

Zatanna froze. ‘We need help.’ More than me…powers. We need help. Oh god. “Is there more than one of you with magic? There’s a group of you with powers that the villains are attacking?” Zatanna asked. A group of magic users fighting villains? Maybe sending more magic users isn’t the best idea. They might need some heavy hitters for this.

“Group. with powers. Magic. Amity Park. Magic. Villains attacking. Disaster. Emergency help. Villains have. More than one of you. Of you. We. villains have. More than one. Of We.”

It took Zatanna only a second. By now she was standing up out of her chair. “Do The villains have hostages? With magic powers? How many?”

Hal had linked in the call with multiple coms. On the large monitor Zatanna could see multiple heroes dots shift slightly. All in the direction of Illinois. She was grateful to see Wonder Woman, Flash, and Captain Marvel all headed in that direction. “We’ve got hero’s coming your way. They will be there soon to help you and rescue the hostages.”

“Many hostages. Many magic in Amity Park. Weapons. Villains have. Weapons. We have. Magic. Villains have Hostages. Villains have. Soon. Powers. We need help. Heroes coming. Justice league. Help. Not villains. We not. Villains. Help we.”

Zatanna felt sick as she understood that message. ‘The villains have hostages and weapons. The caller and the others have powers. But then… villains have…soon…powers. Did that mean that the villains were taking powers away from whoever was calling? She paused at that last sentence. “You’re not the villains. what do you mean by that?

“We. Not. the Villains. Villains have hostages. Villains have weapons. Isn’t a joke. Isn’t. Isn’t Right. We. Not Villains. We Natural. We not weapons. We not villains. Help. Rescue hostages. Rescue. Me. Help Me. Help we have Powers. Help.”

“You’re not the villains, I know. You say you are natural. Do you mean that when the heroes get there, they might think you are the villains and get confused?” Zatanna knew that multiple heroes were silently listening to the call.

“We not the villains. Heroes might think. Powers. Are the. Weapons. We Amity Park. We need help. Justice league get here. Rescue Hostages.”

Hal messaged her again on her screen. Zatanna read off the message.

“We’ve alerted the Illinois National Guard as well. They’ll be there soon to help.”

“No. No. No. National Guard. No help. Villains. Guard villains. Help we. Help Amity Park.”

Zatanna looked confused. “What? No the national guard is coming there to help.”

“National Guard. The.Villains. They guard. The villains. No help. They’ll. Weapon. Amity Park. Powers. Justice League Rescue Amity Park. Help. Help. Help.” The static became so prevalent that Zatanna had to fight the impulse to rip the headset off. She tried to decipher the words.

“Okay. Okay we’ll help you. But we need to be able to find you. Are you in a house or a building? Can you get to a rooftop?”

“Building Rooftop. Heroes Find Me.”

“How can we find you? Can you wave a flag or give us a sign. Are you a woman or a man? What do you look like.”

There was a long pause. “I can. Wave. Kid. Kid. Woman. Kid woman.”

Zatanna wondered for a long moment where the word ‘kid’ came from before remembering when she first accused the caller of prank calling. She said ‘Kid, this isn’t a joke.’ The she felt bile flood her throat as she understood what they meant. “Are…are you a child?”

Zatanna’s own voice answered back. “Child. Kid. Woman child. Rooftop. Help Justice League. Find. Me. Help Hostages. Help. Amity Park.”

Flashes voice came over the com line. Muted from the call but clear in Zatanna’s other ear. “Oh my god. I’m here. It’s a war zone. There’s…We’re going to need back up. Medical units. There are tanks and fires everywhere. There’s been some kind of artillery shot at different buildings. It’s a war zone.”

There was a silent horrified moment as all the heroes listening absorbed the information. “I think I see our caller. It’s a little girl. Maybe eight or ten. White hair. She’s floating. She’s on the library roof with a giant phone. I think she sees me.”

In Zatanna’s other ear her own voice repeated. “Heroes find me. Rooftop. Help.”

“The man in red is called Flash. He’s there to help.”

“He’s there. Man In Red. Help. Flash. Find me.”

“I’m on my way too. Just stay with Flash and tell him what you need, okay sweetie?” Zatanna’s voice was infinitely softer now that she knew it was a child on the phone.

“Okay. Stay with Flash. Help. On. You. Way.”

The line shut off and Zatanna flinch at the sudden silence in her ear. She glanced over at Hal. “I’m going to Zeta down to Amity.”

“I’m right behind you. Flash said a war zone. I…I need to be there.”

Zatanna nodded at his guilty expression. “Right. Let’s hurry and get to Amity Park.”

[thebubblesareevil]

UNO Reverse

So we all know Danny is batbait right?? But what if after vlad the fentons have developed a method to combat billionaires trying to adopt Danny.

So the fentons are in Gotham for some reason or another and they refuse the let Danny’s grades slip so they have him at Gotham prep.

Everyone knows Danny’s parents are mad scientists but Tim is really concerned about his new classmate that keeps coming in with new bruises everyday that he barely tries to hide.

He brings it up to Bruce after doing some investigations and Bruce decides to look into it.

Next thing Danny knows he keeps running into different members of the Wayne cult and the batfamily. It takes him longer than he’s care to admit to figure out they were the same people but in his defense he was exhausted from school, helping his parents with their clean energy project and training with fright knight.

That’s also his excuse for why it took him so long to realize they were trying to assimilate him. Once he does realize he starts going out of his way to avoid them, trying his best to keep his parents from finding out but he realizes it’s too late when his mom gleefully hands him a card one night and sends him on his way.

The next time danny encounters Batman he completely ignores his gentle encouragement and promises to protect him as he pulls out the card and throws it at batman.

Danny sighs and says “I’m sorry it’s come to this, but I need you to know you’ve brought this upon yourselves.” He turns and leaves behind a confused bat holding an UNO reverse card.

The next day Wayne manor is invaded by Jack Fenton carrying a stuggleing vlad over his shoulder and a giant tray of fudge in his other hand while Maddie gleefully hugs alfred proclaiming how happy she is to see her family getting bigger while Jazz is dragging Danny in behind her by his ankle while reading a book. Danny is snoring.

The Wayne’s are confused.

When Vlad finally breaks free he gives Bruce a pitiful look and asks if he also tried to adopt Daniel.

Jack then yells UNO REVERSE!! Instead of adopting Danny we have adopted you!!!!

This just popped in my brain so I thought I’d share

[mewnekoice-mecha]

Danny has a Cooking channel

Danny is in Gotham for College or whatever and out of boredom starts a cooking channel on YouTube.

So, picture this Danny is cooking like he’s trying to kill somebody. And never refers to ingredients as their name. And constantly cracks jokes about the recipe he’s cooking from.

This is all well and good until ghosts start asking him to make family recipes passed down from generations, now Danny doesn’t know that there family recipes because the ghost thinks it’s the HIGHEST HONOR for their King to want to cook something from when they were alive.

Cue one day on his channel he makes a pie but not just any pie but a pie MARTHA WAYNE herself created.

Alfred is curious about how this young man knows this recipe, meanwhile Bruce is losing his mind because Danny looks like a male version of his mother.

Ps. Look up Dylan Hollis on YouTube to get what I’m talking about

~Danny cooking something~

“Now add a CUP of Lard”

-Danny sarcastically- YOU DEAD WHITE PEOPLE NEED TO STOP. THIS IS WHY THE GREAT DEPRESSION HAPPENED.

-Also Danny-

“And now we add some CINNAM and blind bake til brown”

“Im sending you to summer school” -Puts pie in oven-

[icey0307]

“Hey. Uh, Johnny?” Danny said awkwardly, “What does it mean when one of the older ghosts calls you their favored and why does it freak people out?”

Johnny 13 gave the halfa a bewildered look, “Dude. Didn’t you listen to Death? At all?”

“Death?” Danny scrunched his face, “What do you mean? I don’t…”

“Wait.” Johnny straightened, “You’ve talked with Death, right? She explained-?”

Danny shook his head, confused, “Was I supposed to?”

“When you first died, she’s supposed to appear. She gives a whole spiel and then transfers a bunch of information.” Johnny frowned, “She did it for Plasmius, so it’s not a halfa thing.”

“Oh.” Danny looked down, “What if… What if someone died and came back a few times very quickly? Would that… Would that cause any problems?”

Johnny stilled, horrified, “Ok. Look, do you want to talk about your death? Because I’m not asking if you don’t, but...”

“I guess…” Danny said, “So you know that my parents made the portal, right?”

“Yeah.” Johnny said.

“They’d been trying to do it for a long time. Plasmius actually worked with them for a while back when they were in college. It’s why all of their tech is similar in design.” Danny explained, “They built the thing, plugged it in, turned it on… and nothing.”

“But it works now.” Johnny frowned.

“Yeah. It does.” Danny nodded, “But remember my friends? Sam and Tucker?”

“The edgy emo and the computer geek?”

“As Sam’s friend, I am obligated to inform you that she is goth not emo… but yes, those two.” Danny smiled sadly, “My mom and dad were upset. They left the house and Jazz was working her shift at a library. The whole house was empty and I was… you know. A normal teenager home alone.”

Johnny snorted at that, “Ah yes. A completely normal teenager

“Yeah, yeah. The point is, the first thing I did after being left home alone was call my friends over.” Danny rolled his eyes, “Told them what happened and… It was Sam who suggested we go down there first — she’s always been into ghost and occult stuff — and look around. Tucker was down, because it was tech even if we didn’t think most of the tech would work. He wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to mess around with it. Jazz had given me some lectures on lab safety — my parents don’t usually follow it themselves — and I had a bad feeling so I put on the Hazmat suit.”

“That’s not a superhero costume you came up with?” Johnny asked, eyes widening.

“No, um. It’s a hazmat suit. The only way I changed my form was the insignia and even then that was Sam’s idea.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, but um….” Danny paused, “We wound up standing outside the portal. It wasn’t working or anything, but there was a big spooky metal hole in the wall. You know, the kind of thing you’d expect in sci-fi movies. Sam dared me to go in and I was nervous. That bad feeling just intensified, but again — fourteen. I wasn’t being smart about it. So… I went into it. I kept going and it was dark. I was turning back when I tripped and I flailed. Accidentally hit some button that was on the side and it turned on.”

Johnny took a sharp breath.

“And um. Did you know that the portal takes a lot of electricity to start up?” Danny joked weakly, “Took three blocks worth. Um, lots of ectoplasm, too — from both the zone and the artificial stuff my parents use.” He shuffled, “So um, turns out both those things can revive and kill people. So I just kind of — died and revived a lot until it turned on and basically spat me out into the lab.

“That’s - Kid…”

“So um, maybe since I was dying and reviving so much death didn’t have a chance to fill me in? Honestly, would have like the heads up.” Danny said sheepishly, “I didn’t even understand what had happened until ghosts started coming through the portal.”

“Seriously?”

Danny shrugged, “I mean, I kind of suspected. I was falling through floors. It was hard to ignore, but I didn’t know - My parents are good inventors, but not the best scientists and it made things hard to figure out.”

“What? You bought that whole non-sentient BS?”

“No.” Danny shook his head, “I just didn’t buy any of it — and I mean none of it. I wanted nothing to do with the whole thing. The whole town thought my parents were crazy, they were always in the lab working, and I only ever saw them briefly once or twice a day. Don’t get me wrong. They’re still my parents and I love them, but… they have two big priorities. Their work and their kids. Their work is just… a higher priority to them.”

“Oh.” Johnny cringed, “Oh. Kid…”

“So yeah. Life sucks. Death sucks… but I really need to know what to do and why Ember is freaking out over me being called ‘favored one’.”

“Uh, right.” Johnny paused, “Well, it’s like old ghost language. Um. Basically, it’s like being called a really, really close friend or adopted family. Kind of like… ‘hey, this is my person that I love and protect’. It’s platonic unless they specify otherwise.”

“Huh, okay.” Danny blinked, “That makes sense, but why would Ember freak out?”

“Well… who called you that?”

“Oh! Clockwork and Pandora call me that when I visit.”

Johnny blanched, “What?”

“And now you’re freaking out, too.”

“You’ve been just- Kid! Are you just casually talking to them?”

“Um, yeah? They said it was okay?”

“Do you know nothing about the hierarchy of the- Wait. No. You didn’t get to talk to Death. Of course you don’t-“ Johnny sighed — covering his eyes, “Okay, so do you know what the ancients are?”

“I thought that was just a saying.”

“No, it’s not-” Johnny pinched the bridge of his nose, “The Ancients are the most powerful spirits in the Zone. They’re ghosts, but they resemble ideals more than they do a person most of the time. Practically gods. The ancients are Undergrowth, Frostbite, Nocturne, Pandora, Clockwork, Vortex, and Pariah Dark. Thing is… where most ghosts plateau at a certain power level the ancients can just keep growing in power. Clockwork is one of the strongest — so strong, the Observants bound him to their will.”

“Yeah, I heard about that, but he’s really nice, you know.” Danny smiled, “And he makes really good cookies really fast.”

Johnny stared at Danny for a long moment, “Danny. Do you not hear yourself right now? He’s basically the god of time.”

“Yeah, but if he didn’t want me to visit, I wouldn’t be able to find him.” Danny shrugged, “So he told me if I can see the clocktower, I’m welcome to come in.”

“Kid…”

“Besides. I’m friends with half of those guys and they’re cool.”

“Wha- How many ancients do you know?”

“Um… All the ones you just listed? I’m friends with Frostbite, Pandora, and Clockwork. I fought Undergrowth, Vortex and Nocturne before, but Nocturne likes me now. Um, Undergrowth doesn’t like me, though. Loves Sam, though… Um, obviously I know who Pariah Dark is after the whole thing in Amity-“

Johnny stilled, “Wait a minute… Kid. I need you to answer me honestly here… Did Pariah ever mention a challenge when you fought him?”

“Well, um. I guess? He was all formal speak, though, so…”

“Kid.” Johnny said very slowly, “Did he ever issue a challenge or accept a challenge from you?”

“… Um. He did say that he accepted my challenge or something, but wasn’t that just fight-talk or…”

“I think I get it now.” Johnny sighed, facepalming, “Just… maybe don’t tell people about this and consider asking one of the ancients allies you have about what Pariah accepting your challenge means for you.”

“For me? What-“

“Just… give it some thought.” Johnny paused, “And- Well, I can talk to Ember for you, yeah?”

“Thanks.”

—

Danny curled up on a sofa as Pandora embraced him with three arms and ran her fourth hand through his hair.

“Pandora.” Danny said softly, “Some of my friends say you, Frostbite, and Clockwork are ancients.”

“They are correct.”

“I didn’t know what ancients were.”

“I noticed.” Pandora laughed a bit, “But you’re a sweet child. You helped me get my box back and did not demand my favor. Perhaps it was selfish not to tell you, but I didn’t want to distress you. You are a kind and humble soul. Is it such a surprise I wish to continue seeing you?”

“You thought I would stop if I did?” Danny asked, confused, “I mean, sure my other friends were shaken up by it, but they don’t know you. Why would I be afraid when you’re so nice?”

Pandora blinked and then smiled warmly — a little laugh pulling from her throat. Oh, the innocence of such a young spirit, “Why, indeed? I suppose I didn’t give you or myself enough credit, did I?”

Danny shrugged, “I don’t have room to judge people for being different anyway. I’m a halfa. Pretty sure that’s even rarer than being an Ancient, right?”

“I suppose that is true.” Pandora smiled, “There are only a few halfas and none are quite like you. There will only ever be one of you.”

“Does this have something to do with why I never got to meet death?” Danny asked, confused, “That’s the only thing I can find that seems all that different-“

“In a way… Yes, but there are many more differences. The main one is that you powers have grown beyond Vlad Masters and they continue to do so.” Pandora said, “You are what we call a ‘Juna Potenco’. Most realms will never have heard of such things, but us ancients do not forget and when faced with a gift like yourself… well, you’ll only see more of us with time.”

“What does that mean? Is it bad?”

“No, no. It is a gift, not a punishment.” Pandora promised, “You are an inspiring soul, favored one, and it seems the realms themselves have seen that.”

“That doesn’t sound right.” Danny pulled away and sat up as he shook his head, “I’m a halfa, but that’s what I am. It doesn’t say anything about who I am. There isn’t anything special about who I am.”

“Everyone else disagrees with that last statement.” Pandora shook her head, “But I will let you in on the secret.”

“Yeah?”

“These are not due to your half spirit nature, but something truly special.” Pandora cupped his cheek, “Danny, do you truly wish to know? As amazing as this is, I am not sure you will be ready for the truth just yet.”

“I’m - I’ve been debating what colleges to apply for, but… I don’t know if any of them will take me now with my grades. I still look fourteen — fifteen at the oldest… and I still feel fourteen.” Danny looked at Pandora with pleading eyes, “So if this would impact my future, I think I’d like to know. Before things get complicated.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Suddenly, everything froze.

Danny looked up to see Clockwork putting a medallion on Pandora while Frostbite gave him a smile.

“I presume you’re here to assist in informing him?” Pandora asked.

“Indeed.” Frostbite nodded.

“Informing me of what?” Danny asked, confused.

“When you went to face Pariah Dark, you stated your intention to fight him.” Clockwork said, “And he accepted your challenge. You fought in single combat, removed the Crown of Fire from his head, and then managed to get him into the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep.”

“Vlad-“

“Plasmius might have locked the Sarcophagus, but you have repeatedly bested him and even when he has gotten the best of you, it has not been in single combat. However, Plasmius at one point claimed your fight was a ‘fun challenge’. You agreed — officially accepting it as such. When you defeated him, he lost any fragile claim to the throne.”

“Claim to the- Wait. What are you saying?” Danny glanced between them, “What? No. No… you have to be kidding me. I’m just me. I was trying to help, not-“

“Child, your soul was always going to be tied to the zone one way or another.” Pandora said, “Mortality is already a fragile thing, but someone so surrounded by ectoplasm at a young age all while experiencing the struggles you did with your parents absence… it was inevitable that you would be a powerful ghost.”

“But, then, Great One.” Frostbite continued, “You stood fully emerged in the space between worlds and thought of protection and forgiveness — mercy. You did not even consider vengeance or desires of your own. Only the wellbeing of others. It is an act of great sacrifice and not one many can complete so fully.”

“To put it simply, Danny.” Pandora said, “You’re one of us, Juna Protenco. New and young power that will grow infinitely. Though you are far from ancient, you will be with time.”

“An ancient to be.” Danny said distantly.

“The Ancient of Protection, Space, Mercy, and Matter.” Clockwork turned into his newborn form, “The best candidate for king we’ve had in a long time. Though, perhaps I am a bit biased.”

“Does it have something to do with space-time?” Danny guessed, “Because Matter, Time, and Space…”

“Correct.” Clockwork smirked, “Matter tells spacetime how to curve, and curved spacetime tells matter how to move. I guide you and you make changes that I will use to guide you again.”

Dannu blinked, “Oh. I get it.”

“You do?” Pandora blinked.

“That’s domains for you.” Frostbite chuckled and then quickly explained when Danny gave him a confused look, “We all innately understand our domains and their meanings. My domain is progression, society, and advancement.”

“Mine is responsibility, hope, protection, and perseverance.” Pandora revealed.

“Indeed.” Clockwork transformed into the middle aged man again, “But now that you know of your future, we must prepare.” He put his hand on Danny’s shoulder, “Your coronation must happen by the time you turn eighteen. As Ghost King, you will need to learn some diplomatic skills. We will teach you while you finish your human schooling.” Clockwork promised, “You can tell your parents the truth or you can say you are simply leaving for college, but Maddie and Jack Fenton cannot move to the Zone with you. Your sister is welcome. Your friends are welcome, but unfortunately…”

“I understand.” Danny lowered his head, “I don’t think I’ll tell them just yet. Maybe I’ll leave a note or a video, but…”

Clockwork’s eyes glazed over briefly — clearly checking the timeline.

“That is a good idea.” Clockwork nodded.

“Okay.” Danny swallowed, “I can’t -”

“No.” Clockwork said, “Honored as these two would be, they have their duties and people. They cannot. I am both bound by the Observants and a little too prone to acts of selfishness. It is too much power for me. No. It must be you.”

“You’re not selfish. You helped me.” Danny tilted his head, confused.

Clockwork chuckled guiltily as Pandora made a face and Frostbite shifted awkwardly.

“There is a reason people fear me, Danny.” Clockwork seemed more amused than anything by the sudden awkwardness, “I appreciate your trust in me, but I was not so good or kind in life. I hold domain over regret and retribution as well as time. It is a position I earned after giving and getting both in equal measure. I am not a protective spirit by nature. I am one that seeks justice and sometimes revenge.”

“I don’t get it.” Danny frowned, confused.

“Soon, you will.” Clockwork said grimly, “But for now… Trust me when I say all is as it should be.”

“Okay.” Danny said, “I trust you.”

“Now, time in.” Clockwork said. When Danny tried to give him the medallion he shook his head, “No, hold onto it. I believe it goes without saying, but do not lose it.”

“I know. I won’t.” Danny promised.

“Good, now… I believe you have some friends to talk to?”

“Er, right!” Danny said and rushed off.

“He doesn’t know who you are?” Frostbite turned to Clockwork, “And you haven’t told him?”

“… He’ll learn during his studies.” Clockwork admitted begrudgingly, “And it’s best that he come to me after he processes the information than during.”

“Just remember, Kronos.” Pandora glared as she handed over her medallion, “One wrong move-“

“Yes, yes, I am very aware of your opinions of me, Keeper of Hope.” Clockwork held a hand to Frostbite, “Shall I take you back to your people?”

“Er, yes.”

“Good, then-“

“Hey! I was not finished-“

“TIME OUT!”

Pandora sighed as they disappeared, “Ugh. He is always such a petty menace. One of these days…”

[dontfightmecauseillcry]

DP x DC

Politically arranged marriage (IDK how those work)

During a Peace talk between the USA Government and The Infinite Realms a  US representative accuses that the King (Danny) could go back on his word anytime and they would end up defenseless against these monsters. A member of the king's court (I’m thinking Dorathea) asks if a union would convince them of their peace. The US gov is intrigued and think they could manipulate the King if he marries one of their citizens. The thing is… the US doesn’t have a monarchy. 

Then one of the US reps has a brilliant idea. Bruce Wayne has been known as the Prince of Gotham for ages, they won’t have to fake any new articles or anything online to go back years. They could totally manipulate and have Brucie Wayne tell them anything they want to know without him even knowing!!! Danny’s (aged up to around Bruce’s age) like what the shit and quickly interjects. He says it’s improper to go straight to marriage (he’s trying to bs his way out of this) the same king's court ghost says ofc and they’ll have to court each other and both parties have to consent ofc, they thought that was a given.

Another of the king's court asks how this Bruce Wayne Prince of Gotham is even worthy of their king. Another rep tells him that Brucie is also known as the White Knight of Gotham. Another speaks up about his many good deeds and the children he’s taken in. They are all shitting themselves trying to think about how to avoid them finding articles about “Brucie Wayne gets drunk and falls into the harbor from his yacht-compilation” and they're trying to talk him up as much as possible.

Danny 100% knows about said article but he doubts Bruce is gonna accept to be a part of this (hello low self esteem) but he hopes to convince Bruce to play along long enough to keep peace and once everything’s settled down they can “break up”. He’ll go along with it to keep the peace he worked himself to exhaustion for, Ancients know his people wanted war. 

Queue them both falling head over heels in love with each other and Danny getting too attached to both Bruce and the kids. He eventually does find out about Bruce being Batman but that just makes him like him more. 

Those politicians are fuming they can’t get anything dirt on the Realms out of Brucie Wayne of all people!!! He’s talking and talking but he’s not actually saying anything! How does King Phantom stand him?!

[theta-scenario]

People with low spoons, someone just recommended this cookbook to me, so I thought I'd pass it on.

I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?

These people seem to get it, though. It's very simple in places. It's basically the cookbook for people who think, 'I'm really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can't think of anything else to cook that won't exhaust me'.

And it's free!

The Sad Bastard Cookbook by tRaum Books

by Rachel A. Rosen and Zilla Novikov || Food you can make so you don't die.

[kudo-i-guess]

Tim, as Red Robin, running around on roofs in Gotham until he finds this spot

this is his favourite roof now