Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
DEAR READER
Cosimo Galluzzi
styofa doing anything
Monterey Bay Aquarium
YOU ARE THE REASON

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$LAYYYTER

izzy's playlists!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.

#extradirty

Kaledo Art

★
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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Today's Document
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@lwelyk
came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat
why is this tagged consequences?
John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.
John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said “its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences” so he had to go.
John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.
The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said “its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys”.
John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.
“I cant give you my lisense officer” John Freeman said
“Why not?” said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.
“Because you are headcrab zombie” so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking “my brother is in trouble there” and went faster.
John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw “Ravenholm” with someons writing under it saying “u shudnt come here” so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.
John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.
John Freeman said “Zombie goasts leave this place” and the zombie goasts said “but this is our house” and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.
Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.
When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said “John Freeman! Over here!” so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.
Gordon Freeman said “its time to end this ones and for all!” and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said “thanks i could help, bro” and Gordon Freeman said “you should come here earlier next time” and they laughed.
The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled “LOOK OUT BRO!” and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said “NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!” and John Freeman walked real fast out.
John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.
“I’ll get you back evil boss!” John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.
to be continued..?
Saddleback College held a discussion on potential new mascots, so a student sent me the zoom link.
Usually you can’t post wombats when it isn’t Wednesday but drawing these marks on the wombat’s face breaks Tumblr’s wombat recognition software.
ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
FETCH ME NEIL
"do you think the devil can whistle, Suzy" goes way too hard
LUCILLE BLUTH | Arrested Development | Season one
They saw their chance and by George they took it
Okay but also that poor maintenance guy that just slides the bucket under the cascading waterfall. He’s trying so hard!
I don’t think anyone here realizes how much I appreciate Titanic-based humor
Always got a sob story
“BiTcHeS dOn’T LiKe Me CUz I LiKe AniMe 🥴”
“I GOT MY DICK SUCKED WATCHING ANIME THE OTHER DAY”
I’m screaming 😂😭
Video Transcript:
A man is speaking in what appears to be a bar of some sorts in front of a large crowd. The video starts in the middle of his speech/slam poetry.
Man at the front of the crowd hmms disapprovingly while shaking his head.
“Don’t encourge him. He hopin’ to make a breakthrough, claimin the leagues hatin’ but rather complainin’ than make moves. Always got a sob story. “Bitches don’t like me cuz i like anime” Bitches love anime, they just hate you!”
The crowd errupts into whooping cheers, several of the closest people pat the speaker on the shoulder and back.
Someone offscreen yells “I got my dick sucked watching anime the other day!”
The crowd errupts into cheers again and the original speaker gestures to the person offscreen and nods.
Objects as spaceships, by Eric Geusz
My favorite is the fidget spinner space station. It almost feels like someone designed it first and then fidget spinners came out and now everyone laughs at it… instead of the other way around.
It’s Eric! He was one of my best friends in highschool!
He also does series of space cats, and one of the ones floating upside down and looking at you is based on my cat Ginger :D
The kitty herself, Ginger!
He’s a super cool dude and seeing his art on tumblr is nuts!
Check out his website, which includes an area to buy prints
You can see more of his work in general on Instagram
And buy T-Shirts too!
God yeah I will hype him every chance I get lol!
Lucy from Peanuts vs Goku. On one hand, Goku could obliterate any child. On the other, he would absolutely fall for the football thing
im so sorry followers ive been a giant spider this whole time
Bruce Wayne is so dumb. Billionaire playboy bachelor is such a stupid cover when stressed single parent is not only the truth but also easier to explain to all these rich folks.
All this weird in depth knowledge? Had to help with school presentations
Tired? Sleepy? Looks a bit sick? Huh yeah the youngst has the flu right now
Literally always has “my child is sick/home alone” as an excuse to not be anywhere and leave suddenly
No need to flirt with people
Can talk about children for hours and bore people away from paying attention
“So my child’s first languge is actually X so of course I had to learn it”
“Oh yeah, I was in Spain last week. Lovely country.”
“Really??? Didn’t see any pictures from you.”
“I don’t want my children exposed to the media storm”
Buying weird stuff!!!!
“Oh yeah, Jason’s super into DIY right now, we’re at the hardware store every week basically”
Bottom line Single Dad is the bet cover he could have had and DC has to ruin it
Feel free to add
@fialleril
Busted ribs?
Yeah, my second child jumped into my bed this morning. Feet first.
Black eye?
That would be the milk my oldest spilled on the floor which he forgot to clean up before I slipped on it and went head first into my wool carved cabinets.
You just disabled this bomb???
Yeah, my third kid build a working model and we didn’t have time to call the bomb squad so I made sure if he does something like that again, I know how to deal with it.
Your vast knowledge of rockets and space ships??
Also my third child. Timmy’s so smart, honestly, I have no idea where he gets all this stuff.
Why are you able to understand that strange magic person who’s only speaking in Old English?
Jason went through a phase.
Why is your youngest carrying swords around and shouting death threats?
I slept with a rich, Middle Eastern king’s daughter and I didn’t get custody until he was 10. Damian was raised very…traditionally.
You backflip??
Dick’s a circus acrobat and an Olympic class gymnast. He looked so happy when he said he could teach me, I didn’t have the heart to tell him no.
You have huge dark circles under your eyes, you okay?
I haven’t slept in three days, the kids are all down with some kind of sickness.
Why is that small child covered with bruises and why is his arm in a cast?
Dick thought it would be fun to swing from the chandelier in the main entrance, to the top of the banister of the stairs and to slide down to the bottom.
He missed.
you can see the disappointment in every pixel of his low poly face
until i recently played this game I always thought these were fake subtitles