My United States Of Whateva

A delightful collection of things I find lovely.

[tariqah]

Interspecies lesbianism

[onedeadkitty]

It’s cute guys

[rosalui]

nothing but respect for MY lesbian big cat couple

[butchflirt]

Butch/Butch couple

[lumpatronics]

This is actually hella interesting, bc in simple terms, tigers are extroverts and lions are introverts. There’s more to it, but that’s the gist.

Whenever zoo’s tried to put lions and tigers in the same enclosures, the tiger would eventually try to groom the lioness and play constantly. The lioness would lose patience and snaps at them

So basically what I’m saying is that you have a regal and refined gf who stands at the edge of a balcony during parties, sipping champagne

Then you have the other girl who drank all of the little flutes on the servers platter, and is now drunkenly pointing at her gf and telling everyone that that’s her gf and doesn’t she look beautiful I love her so much

[hillnerd-art]

So I had to draw them in human form???

[slinkanorabundyblr]

You drew them in the corresponding ethnicities for their Geographic locations!!! Bless you, you have no idea how sick and tired I am of white human lion king characters.

[antique-scarecrow]

This post is deemed culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant as certified by the National Shitpost Registry.

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via TheCheish)

[americanprophet]

if you haven’t seen john boyega’s impression of pinocchio you haven’t lived

[plantinghuman]

Funny way to find out which plant you might like to buy.

Source: apartmenttherapy.com

[herbwicc]

FOR MY FOLLOWERS THAT HAVE DIFFICULTY CARING FOR PLANTS AND ASK WHAT THEY SHOULD BUY, THIS IS REALLY GREAT!! 

[unofficially-nasa]

As a former florist this is hella helpful

[putthison]

“When I was young there were beatniks. Hippies. Punks. Gangsters. Now you’re a hacktivist. Which I would probably be if I was 20. Shuttin’ down MasterCard. But there’s no look to that lifestyle! Besides just wearing a bad outfit with bad posture. Has WikiLeaks caused a look? No! I’m mad about that. If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, it seems to me he should at least have an outfit for that.”

- John Waters on the sorry style of today’s rebels  (emphasis mine)

[pluckyminna]

helpless laughter oh god

[synebluetoo]

This is the only criticism of millenials I will accept

[nateswinehart]

You gotta have a plan…

[beaswellgirl]

I love Gordon Ramsay so much.

He comes from a very poor family. His father was an alcoholic who beat him and his mother (he once poured hot tea over her and put her in hospital several times), his brother is a drug addict, he literally built an empire out of nothing.

He credits his mother as his biggest inspiration and often has her cooking in his shows.

When he left his first restaurant he pulled a successful Jerry Maguire - the entire kitchen staff went with him. That tells you what he’s like to work with.

He was one of the first to give a restaurant to a female chef.

He went to prison (Gordon Behind Bars) and taught inmates to bake and they opened a bakery (Bad Boys Bakery) that is still running. He hired one of them when he got out.

He did documentaries about the cruelty of shark hunting and cocaine. (when he discovered cocaine was used by his staff he didn’t fire anyone but made sure they are offered treatment)

His kids are a treasure.

He is always ALWAYS kind to servers.

When one of his partners (Marcus Wareing) wanted to leave they got into a fight and settled it in court, they no longer speak to each other but this is what Marcus said about him after the fight: 

I feel bad that the first association to him for a lot of people is this shouty TV chef when he’s truly a wonderful person. 

Oh and then there’s this:

this entire episode 

[someclevermoniker]

never forget that the reason he’s “shouty and angry” on his tv show is that he’s yelling at people who ignore the rules of courtesy and food safety and basically feed their customers poison, something which would enrage any good person

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Uncle Gordon

[ellactra-deactivated20180109]

Gordon is precious and I love him.

[cartnsncreal]

It’s 7am and my brain hurts looking at this

WHY IS THIS EVEN IN A BATMAN CARTOON?!!! 

[wytrykusarchives]

The Milt Kahl Head Swaggle (Source: Cartoon Brew)

[spootywabbit]

I love it when you can pick up an animator’s quirks. 

[rainhann]

ok this is “earring magic ken” who was introduced in 1992 (and discontinued shortly thereafter)

basically mattel had done a survey and discovered that girls didn’t think ken was “cool” enough

SO someone had the bright idea to research coolness by sending people to raves which, at the time, were mostly hosted & attended by gay men. so they went to these raves and took notes on what the fashions were and finally landed on this outfit, mesh shirt & all 

this doll became the best selling ken doll in history, mostly because gay men bought it in droves. (many of them said his necklace was supposed to be a cockring) but mattel and a number of parents weren’t very amused and discontinued the doll 

[muffinsandmatriarchy]

OH MY GOD YOU’RE LEAVING OUT THE BEST PART

SO

MAGIC EARRING KEN. This bitch gay as HELL. supposedly the aforementioned rings on him are for “magic earrings” and clip on charms. These charms are advertised as totally COMPLETELY heterosexual, not gay at ALL, see there’s a Barbie that also has Magic Earring Action with clip on charms! Ken wears them to match, because he’s STRAIGHT

Here’s the issue: THERE IS NO MATCHING BARBIE. Magic Earring Ken is out here straight up wearing cock rings on his jacket with a thinly devised advertising ploy to make it SEEM not-gay. But it’s DEFINITELY GAY. (And if you’re thinking, why cock rings? Well way back in 1992 gay culture was HUGE on wearing cock rings, it was the in-style. Everyone who was gay wore one, even women; you sewed them to your leather jacket, and the placement indicated some of your sexual preference. In case you were wondering, Ken is a Bottom.)

AND IT GETS BETTER. Magic Earring Ken was on the shelves for six weeks before they pulled him. In that short amount of time? Magic Earring Ken became the BEST SELLING Barbie Doll Mattel has EVER SOLD. LET THAT SINK IN. SIX WEEKS. And now every time these wheezy old hetero windbag execs go to look at their sales board, they’re forever haunted by Magic Earring Ken at the top of their charts.

Gay as hell, Cock Ring Bottom Ken, the Best Selling Mattel Doll. Pride.

[harperjenkins]

please take the time out of your day to read about Magic Earring Ken™

[but-is-it-gay-tho]

gay history

[talesfromthecrypts]

Top 20 Films as voted by my followers

12. What We Do in the Shadows (2014) dir. Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement

We’re vampires, we don’t put down towels.

[mysharona1987]

[thejunesky]

[knowtherealcost]

The consequences that come with smoking cigarettes are terrible. Here are just a few.

[fistful-of-fandom]

The X-Files + Darin Morgan Episodes

02x20: Humbug

03x04: Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose

03x12: War of the Coprophages

03x20: Jose Chung’s “From Outer Space”

10x03: Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster

[feministism]

ur doing great sweetie

[thestoryandyou]

[wild-love-hood-thoughts-deactiv]

This scene is so important.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

[blogtitletaken]

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

[castiel--for--king]

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

consider the coconut

[bemusedlybespectacled]

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

[kascaban]

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

[heartgemsona]

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

[baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

This post is a journey

[virtuous-thing]

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

[dovewithscales]

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

[eldbitch-horror]

Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!

Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous

[dovewithscales]

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

[hyratel]

I MEAN where’s the lie

[dovewithscales]

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

[didyousaymaraudersormurder]

WAIT A PLATYPUS IS VENOMOUS

[ameliacareful]

Of course it’s venomous! Australia! Everything is venomous!

[silvermoonphantom]

The platypus has venom glands in its hind feet - if it kicks you the right way, it stabs you and injects venom.

[datenshi-no-hime]

It got better!