Bitch with a capital “W”

Meghan Professional Meme, Self Nominated DJ, and Mom Friend Dick Grayson Stan Insta & Twitter: Mmagicss

[magicsuga]

I woke up in a cold sweat and had to make this

[fervent-bookwomb]

they should invent a listening to loud music that protects and restores your hearing

[taahko]

i think some of you dont like narratives or stories or characters i think you just like fanfiction tropes

[taahko]

protagonists can and will be sexist, racist, insensitive, cruel, stupid, etc, especially towards the beginning of a story. these are called character flaws and they are a surprise tool that will lead to narrative fulfillment later

[mapswithoutwyoming]

And sometimes "narrative fulfillment" doesn't mean "the character overcomes their flaws" or even "the antihero is punished for their flaws"! sometimes it means the narrative says "wow was that fucked up or what? anyway i'm rod sterling"

[depsidase]

[cerastes]

Hey, I’m a random internet person you’ve never talked to before. Just making sure your fetish is morally aligned with my principles and what I consider virtuous.

[meggriffin24]

this is me unironically

[cerastes]

Awesome, die.

[dandelioncowb0y]

Finally drew da goat 🐐🦁

[babyleaf]

[exeggcute]

I need a polite and effective way to say "hey your heart is truly in the right place and your anger is often righteous but I think sometimes you’re getting recreationally mad about things that are frankly not worth the amount of energy you’re spending on them, and every time you do this you're driving yourself slightly more insane with nothing to show for it," and then I need a way to broadcast that message through a loudspeaker to roughly 30,000 people at once, and THEN I need a time machine to send that message to my past self lol. and maybe a second time machine in case past me tries to be clever and sabotage the version of me who comes through the first time machine

[pommepony]

god loves you but not enough to save you

[s1llybruv]

[byjove]

Look, I get that print media is dead and local newspapers have to make a living but if I am trying to read THE ONLY article about a obscure event in a small-ish town and the newspaper website puts it behind a paywall, I’m praying all the journalists that work for you release your home address.

[byjove]

How the fuck are we going to combat misinformation and gossip in a small town if the only place you can receive news for free is the town Facebook group?

[byjove]

If you wanted me to watch an ad for a local business or something before I could access the article, I’d say “That’s fair, we’ve all got to keep the lights on.” but you want me to subscribe for an automatically billed $8 a month charge that is a pain in the ass to cancel just so I can read a single fucking article? Fuck youuuuuu.

[senatortedcruz]

Fandom shit is just straight up not fun when everyone interprets everything in the worst possible faith and acts deliberately obtuse for the sole purpose of getting mad online

[lowpawly]

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

[magicsuga]

Dan and Phil tickets,,, daisy chain fields tickets,,, I’m broke lmao

[sunsetbuddie]

we used to get christmas episodes of television. halloween episodes. valentines. we used to get television that felt like part of your life. like it was happening alongside your life. now we mostly get 8 episodes dropping all at once every two years and they don't have time for any of that. i miss characters living alongside us

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

[teaboot]

One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[lotrmusical]

the reviews are in... glad everyone's enjoying song of the worm

[id: tumblr tags reading 'dude This Fucking Rules', 'holy fucking shit! that was legit so cool?', 'holy shit that is fucking metal', 'oh this fucks severely', 'yeah no this fucking SLAPS', 'yo this RULES']

[memento-morri-writes]

can confirm this does fucking slap.

[the-insan1ty-clause]

oh yeah that fucking slaps

[drethelin]

Song of the Worm

Cook, Eliza (1818 - 1889)

THE worm, the rich worm, has a noble domain

In the field that is stored with its millions of slain;

The charnel-grounds widen, to me they belong,

With the vaults of the sepulchre, sculptured and strong.

The tower of ages in fragments is laid,

Moss grows on the stones, and I lurk in its shade;

And the hand of the giant and heart of the brave

Must turn weak and submit to the worm and the grave.

Daughters of earth, if I happen to meet

Your bloom-plucking fingers and sod-treading feet--

Oh! turn not away with the shriek of disgust

From the thing you must mate with in darkness and dust.

Your eyes may be flashing in pleasure and pride,

'Neath the crown of a Queen or the wreath of a bride;

Your lips may be fresh and your cheeks may be fair--

Let a few years pass over, and I shall be there.

Cities of splendour, where palace and gate,

Where the marble of strength and the purple of state;

Where the mart and arena, the olive and vine,

Once flourished in glory; oh! are ye not mine?

Go look for famed Carthage, and I shall be found

In the desolate ruin and weed-covered mound;

And the slime of my trailing discovers my home,

'Mid the pillars of Tyre and the temples of Rome.

I am sacredly sheltered and daintily fed

Where the velvet bedecks, and the white lawn is spread;

I may feast undisturbed, I may dwell and carouse

On the sweetest of lips and the smoothest of brows.

The voice of the sexton, the chink of the spade,

Sound merrily under the willow's dank shade.

They are carnival notes, and I travel with glee

To learn what the churchyard has given to me.

Oh! the worm, the rich worm, has a noble domain,

For where monarchs are voiceless I revel and reign;

I delve at my ease and regale where I may;

None dispute with the worm in his will or his way.

The high and the bright for my feasting must fall--

Youth, Beauty, and Manhood, I prey on ye all:

The Prince and the peasant, the despot and slave;

All, all must bow down to the worm and the grave.

[spandexlambtube]

@i-scan-your-poems

[i-scan-your-poems]

Scansion:

◡ – ◡ / ◡ – ◡ / ◡ – ◡ / ◡ – The Prince and / the peasant, / the despot / and slave; ◡ – ◡ / ◡ – ◡ / ◡ – ◡ / ◡ – All, all must / bow down to / the worm and / the grave.

Metrical form: amphibrachic tetrameter catalectic. Or I guess acephalous anapestic tetrameter, especially because some lines of the poem have another unstressed syllable at the beginning, making them anapestic tetrameter.

Rhyme scheme: rhyming couplets

Other notes: tumblr users go crazy for a memento mori topos in the dr seuss meter with the word "worm" in it. as they should