i need a life @major-aizen-simp - Tumblr Blog

thursday: county couldn't find their own arse with both hands and a map

#fred thursday #endeavour #roger allam #correct quotes

harris: don't touch those! don't you ever touch my balls without asking!

#thaddeus harris #police academy #correct quotes #he actually said that

sarah: why don’t you ever come into this room?

eric: because it’s the living room

sarah: ...

albrecht: ...

eric: :D

#incorrect quotes #incorrect the crow #the crow #eric draven #sarah #albrecht #it can't rain all the time #brb i'm crying

rogue avengers: stark, we want you to fix our gear

tony stark: sure let me check my calender

tony stark: how about the seventh of never through to the fifteenth of ain't gonna happen. does that work for you guys?

rogue avengers: ...

#avengers #tony stark #captain america #incorrect mcu

zhang chengling: i accidentally knocked cao weining out and i was caught between saying "are you okay?" and "i'm so fucking sorry" and ended up saying "are you fucking sorry?"

zhang chengling: it's been three hours and gu xiang is still laughing at me

#zhang chengling #gu xiang #word of honor #tian ya ke #incorrect word of honor #incorrect tian ya ke

duan pengju: i'm gonna kill you

zhou zishu: lemme ask lao wen first

duan pengju: that's not how this works

zhou zishu: lao wen said no

#zhou zishu #duan pengju #incorrect word of honor #incorrect tian ya ke #word of honor #tian ya ke

wen kexing: you're giving me a gift ah-xu? what am i getting?

zhou zishu: on my nerves

#wen kexing #zhou zishu #word of honor #incorrect word of honor #incorrect tian ya ke

ye baiyi: *saunters into ghost valley*

wen kexing: i told them to not let you in

ye baiyi: *snorts* they tried

#aish the ghosts are too weak for baiyi #wen kexing #ye baiyi #word of honor #tian ya ke #incorrect word of honor #incorrect tian ya ke

nie mingjue, about wei wuxian: where did you find this kid?

jiang cheng: he was left on the doorstep of lotus pier as a baby

#inspiration from criminal minds #incorrect mdzs #jiang cheng #nie mingjue #wei wuxian

jin zixuan: i've never met any of my siblings

meng yao: you might have

jin zixuan: oh shit you're right

#incorrect mdzs #jin zixuan #meng yao #jin guangyao

jiang cheng: everything that comes out of your mouth is so stupid

wei wuxian: jiang cheng

jiang cheng:

jiang cheng: you-

#incorrect mdzs #incorrect mo dao zu shi #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #wei wuxian #wei ying #incorrect chen qing ling #incorrect the untamed #incorrect quotes

it's a completely calm day in soul society, everyone is minding their own business

suddenly something explodes and everyone asks themselves "i wonder what that was", but their questions are answered almost immediately by a shout from zaraki kenpachi

"goddamnit yachiru! stop trying to make cookies!"

#i can see this happening #kusajishi yachiru #zaraki kenpachi #bleach #soul society #incorrect quotes #incorrect situation

xue yang: i had a very good reason to stab him. you didn’t hear what he said to me.

xiao xingchen: what did he say?

xue yang: “what are you gonna do, stab me?”

a-qing: that’s fair

#xue yang #xiao xingchen #a-qing #incorrect mdzs #it's a good reason

ye zun: would you do the honors of becoming my brother-in-law?

shen wei:

zhao yunlan:

shen wei: did you just propose to zhao yunlan for me?

ye zun: well you sure as fuck wasn't gonna ask anytime soon