drunk driving in the mako

this is where merrin posts about mass effect. (follows are gonna come from merrin-2-point-0.)

[diekaduwee]

Apparently the German word "weltschmerz" come close to describing the feeling of starting a mission, then realising you have brought the wrong squad mates.

[gaarrus]

[laerugo]

#this scene reads to me like #shep: why’d you shoot me #garrus: noncommittal hand wave (via @rushvalleys)

this makes me laugh bc he comes up w three excuses to justify shooting her in the span of like ten seconds: 1) i knew it was u all along shep i just didnt want the mercs to know it was u ok?? 2) also u were taking too slow 3) also i’m a n experienced rifleman i know i wasn’t gonna kill u promise

in reality he probably spotted shepard through his scope and was so startled he shot her on accident

[crushcrushcrushmp3]

said with increasing distress and volume fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball

[jack-of-blades]

[drelldreams]

how many shepard ocs do you have

one

two

3-4

5-6

7-9

10+

i've lost count

( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° )

Voting ended onMay 19

i need to know mass effect fans

[drizzlesdoodles]

Sometimes it's necessary...

[plasmarifles]

[morningjrpro]

The plot of the Mass Effect series

[turians]

honestly the illusive man’s biggest mistake was thinking he could manipulate a woman who will stubbornly drive up a 90 degree cliff out of sheer spite

[bambicoded]

ilya multipack again

[zaeedsflipflops]

[n7valkyrien]

ohhhhh it’s almost easter which means it’s time to replay mass effect and start ME2 on easter exactly

[chalkituptofate]

You gotta finish ME1 on Good Friday

[spacevixen2024]

James watching Shepard and Kaidan on Mars like...

[bladeoffrontiers]

[deepinourengines]

oh sure blame the guy whose fault it is

[helila]

[swaps55]

Kaidan watches Conrad Verner walk away, in part just to make sure that he does. Shepard’s had unwanted followers before, but none who have asked for his autograph. When he’s a safe distance away, Kaidan raises an eyebrow.

“‘I was too busy killing them?’ Really?”

Shepard shrugs, quirk to his lip as he resumes walking, eyes on a kiosk run by a volus. “I have a reputation to maintain.”

“Oh yes, it precedes you. The beautiful Commander Shepard, was it?”

“I’m very pretty,” Shepard acknowledges, chin raised.

Behind them, William snickers. “The consort certainly thought so.”

“The consort gets paid to think so,” Kaidan mutters.

“Someone’s touchy.”

Shepard acknowledges the shopkeeper and peruses his selection of omni-tool upgrades. “He’s just upset no one called him beautiful.”

A sly look crosses Williams face that isn’t going to mean anything good for anyone. “Why don’t you do it?”

Called it.

“Only if he gives me his autograph,” Shepard replies. “But you know what? That gives me an idea.”

“That can’t be good,” Kaidan says, avoiding Williams’ gaze like the plague.

“You remember the server at Chora’s Den who comped your drinks?”

“The one who was dying for a drink, and it wasn’t water?” Williams chimes in. Shepard points at her in victory. Kaidan sighs heavily.

“Exactly,” Shepard goes on, ignoring him. “The beautiful Lieutenant Alenko is going to be the perfect distraction for me to plant that reporter’s bug in the traffic control tower.”

“Wait,” Kaidan says with a frown, trying to pull his brain off the words ‘beautiful’ and ‘Alenko’ coming out of Shepard’s mouth in the same sentence, even if it was sarcasm. “How…am I going to be a distraction?”

“Trust me. Come on.”

Shepard leads them into C-Sec with the kind of purposeful step that no one is going to get in the way of, and breezes into the control tower like he owns it. For a moment, he just scans the room, like he’s evaluating it for a report.

“Easy there, Skipper,” Williams murmurs. “You stand out when you look like that.”

He always stands out, Kaidan thinks, but manages to keep it to himself.

Shepard ignores her, gaze landing on a uniformed woman sneaking furtive glances over her shoulder in their direction. “Perfect,” he says under his breath, and puts a hand on Kaidan’s shoulder. “Quick, go over there and smile at her.”

“What?” Kaidan asks in confusion.

“Go…say something about her shoes.”

“Her shoes? What do I care about her shoes?”

“Shoes, shirt, whatever. I don’t care. Trust me, if you talk to her and stay in her line of sight, she will not notice me planting this bug.”

Williams nods sagely. “Skipper’s right. She is undressing you with her eyes as we speak.”

“For chrissakes,” Kaidan mutters. “So you want me to flirt with her, that’s what you want?”

“Yes,” Shepard says, fiendish look in his eye. “Williams? See that guy over there with the asshole face?”

“Oh yeah,” she replies. “Had my eye on him since we walked in.”

“Good. Go get belligerent. I need cover from all angles.”

“You going to bail me out if I get arrested?”

“Well, the Council never gave me a Spectre badge or anything, but I’m sure if I just tell them I’m above the law it’ll work.”

“This is a good plan,” Williams agrees.

“Wait,” Kaidan says, looking back and forth between them with an irritated scowl. “You’re sending me to flirt with someone, while Williams gets to pick a fight?”

“I’m playing to everyone’s strengths,” Shepard says.

“Great. Thanks.”

“I have faith in you, LT,” Williams says solemnly.

All right. Fine. If Shepard wants him to flirt, he’ll flirt. He approaches the woman with a tentative smile. “Excuse me, would you mind helping me? I’m not sure I’m in the right place.”

Her eyes widen a little, but she’s quick on the trigger to say yes. Kaidan’s smile deepens – it’s all about managing eye contact – and comes up with a quick story about trying to meet someone who gave him the location marker for the tower and told him it was a restaurant.

“Oh,” she says, sympathy in her eyes. “I, um. Think she mislead you. This is definitely not a café.”

“Such a shame,” Kaidan says, with just a hint of wistfulness in his voice. “She seemed so nice.”

A couple meters away, Williams’ voice gets a little heated. Out of the corner of Kaidan’s eye, Shepard maneuvers closer to a corner with a good vantage point of the room. His gaze, however, keeps flicking to Kaidan.      

“I, um, I know a good place in the Presidium?” the woman offers.

“Really?” Kaidan asks, sounding almost hopeful now, resisting the urge to check and see if Shepard is watching.

“My shift ends in about thirty minutes, if you want to wait….?”

“I—”

Before he can finish, Shepard swoops in with a patient but unarguable expression. “Excuse me. Sorry for butting in, but the Lieutenant is needed on an important mission.”

“Oh,” she says, crestfallen. “I could give you my number?”

But Shepard is already steering him away. “Williams,” he barks. “Move out!”

Williams, who looks ready to come to blows with her mark, gives him a winning smile and trots over to join them. “But I didn’t get to throw a punch.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Shepard says, double-timing it for the exit, casting the woman one last look over his shoulder. “Mission accomplished.”

“You sure?” Williams asks. The sly look is back.

“Yup.”

“All because of the Beautiful Lieutenant Alenko?”

Shepard shoots her a dark glance. Kaidan smirks, and raises his chin.  

“I’m very pretty.”

[hattersarts]

so has this been done yet

[mounted-archer]

Oh hey

@thychesters just dropped a banger

[like real people do]