I worked a cash register in a crappy grocery store on Friday the 13th, the day the schools got word that they were going remote because of the virus.Â
There were horrible people. I donât need to go into details because weâve all heard them or read about them or experienced them firsthand.Â
But most people were just scared and anxious and trying to take care of their families in spite of bad local and state and national leadership and terrible messaging and limited personal resources. They were intense, but understandably so.Â
My bosses werenât great, not on any level, from CEO to shift managers, but thatâs not news, most of us have been exploited and abused in our jobs before and during Covid.Â
We werenât allowed to wear masks because the store thought it would freak out the customers. Some people quit on the spot, but precious few because itâs not the kind of job you work if you have a ton of options. A woman came through my line and she was wearing a cloth mask with a pretty botanical print. I complimented the design and we bonded over love of fabrics and crafts. She asked about the store mask situation, I explained store policy, she shook her head, left with her groceries, and I kept working the endless line. She was back four hours later with a mask for me. Sheâd gone home, put away her perishables, sat down at her sewing machine, made a mask for a stranger, and then gone back out into crazy traffic and crowds, just to find me and give it to me. She gave it to me in front of the floor manager, and explained to the manager that she was worried about the employees, and my boss had to let me wear it (out of a weird mental loophole of âcustomer is always rightâ even though no other employees were allowed to wear one that day and for a few weeks afterward, which sounds insane, but itâs true).Â
Another woman had come through with a ton of cheese, really cool fancy stuff. Iâm in the cheese fandom so we had a good time chatting. She left with her groceries and I kept working the line. About an hour later, she was back in my line again with more fancy cheeses. I rang her up, bagged her food, handed it to her, and she handed the bag to me and said âThis is yours, Iâm grateful for all the essential workers but I donât know how to tell you guys or keep you safe, so Iâm just doing this.â Sheâd put her groceries in her car, gone back into a madhouse, picked out cheese for an anonymous cashier, and WAITED IN LINE FOR AN HOUR so she could give it to me personally.Â
Toward the end of day, after credit card machines had gone down five times in as many hours (do you know what itâs like a for an entire grocery store to go cash-only for overlong periods of time on March 13 with a building full of scared customers? Do you know how funny or charming or lighthearted you have to be with that many intense people on the verge of freaking out? Sometimes being a cashier is like being a goddamm standup comedienne or therapist or surrogate mom I swear). Anyway, a guy came in toward the very end of my overtime and the card reader went down again and this customer didnât freak out. He started SINGING. He stood there and sang to me until the computers came back online. Iâll never forget him or his sweet voice or that moment in time, ever.Â
I know things are bleak right now. I know theyâre going to get worse. But I see acts of bravery and kindness all day, every day. Every. Day. People are channeling their despair into personal outreach that doesnât get witnessed by many people because itâs usually one-on-one type stuff. I do a ton of climate & political stuff, as well as all my odd jobs, so I see a lot of different demographics in a lot of different situations, all of them stressful, and yes, there are sociopathic assholes in all of those settings, but there are ALWAYS always people being good and brave and looking for ways to connect or care for or support other people in a myriad of ways.
I donât believe in very many things at this age but I will go to my grave defending the goodness of humanity. We may be isolated, we may be headfucked and heartbroken, but we are still fighting the good fight. Thatâs as real as all the bad stuff.Â
âWhen I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, âLook for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.â - Fred Rogers
