McDonald's Sprite @mantiddieenthusiast - Tumblr Blog

lucy-free

who wants to go in the gender-transing room with me

birthdaysongs

hate whenever mfs in horror media are like “what was that noise…” bro you and i both know its creatures

rokkazu

hey, dont cry. 1 billion man boobs on earth ok?

funnytwittertweets

emergency-broadcast-archive

cerastes

Look alive, we detected a surge of girls nearby.

Girls inbound. Get ready!

Wave 1/10

cerastes

This post sure as hell became relevant in an unplanned and unforseen way due to the surge of sexbots as of late, huh.

nachiroux

Wave 2/10

stay alert, they’re coming in fast!

freakoutgirl

me when someone asks if i have a twitter or whatever: idk i’m not really on social media that much

me on tumblr: peeing again

freakoutgirl

russianspacegeckosexparty

White girls need to drop the AAVE and bring back "AS IF!!! 😒" and "GET IT TOGETHER" like y'all were eating in the 2000s!

taken-for-pomegranted

bring this back

viridianacolyte

may i present my favorite twitter thread that compiled a list of tremendous white people phrases

headspace-hotel

where's the post compiling Redneck Phrases

headspace-hotel

This reminds me of how my dad decided "you can't have your cake and eat it too" was a dumb saying so he changed it to "you can't ride two horses with one butt"

countesspetofi

One of my favorite parts of any Mad Men episode was Pete Campbell swearing like your great-grandpa, with the hell’s bells and the jumping Jehoshaphats and everything.

headspace-hotel

Haha, let's see, what are some other my-dad-isms worthy of mention...

"Stop fiddle-farting around" when someone is fooling around (no idea where he got that one)

"dumber than a sack of hammers"

"son of a biscuit eater"

"a few beers shy of a six pack" (meaning unintelligent)

"all righty then" when someone says something weird

"and here's the kicker..."

"well tough titty said the kitty" ???

[describing someone unfavorably] "he's a [descriptor] is what he is."

"Quit yer moaning and groaning."

[Describing certain doom] "You better tuck your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye."

[Describing something dead and/or destroyed] "It's gone to be with Jesus"

beardedmrbean

Getting the fountain at the new children's hospital ready for opening day.

malinformation-distributor

guooey

gayrika

aquatic-turquoise-deactivated20

I read that as dual wedding and i had to

sunnyslidetotheleft

lets give them a proper skyrim marriage

g-a-y-g-o-y-l-e

i love how tumblr users play with jpegs like dolls

tiktoksthataregood-ish

lame-wizard

guerrillatech

askpredetor

>Morning shift

>Customer is angry that we disabled his card

>calm him down because it is a security measure

>We had to block his card because he spent 5k on Genshin Impact at 4AM and almost drained his entire bank account

>The instant we unblock his card he spends 200 more dollars on Genshin Impact

askpredetor

Every 200 notes I wake up to, I see some familiar faces and learn that some of you just have this post ON STANDBY to remind yourselves not to whale for the new bland twink.

Proud of you guys

adventures-in-poor-planning

I took the smallest, shittiest picture of a frog at the nature preserve last week and just looking at it has me in tears of laughter. Just another pea in the pea soup...