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soump

[sygol]

Hi I'm 1 years old and learning to read through your posts. Cigarette.

very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke

[iwilleatyourenglish]

so this might be the funniest text i've ever gotten about my partner

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[hungwy]

Your mamas so squeak shes either a leather shoe or the bad door or a mouse

[charl0ttan]

[hungwy]

*aims my rifle in the direction its pointing and fires into the tall grass*

[detectivehole]

i'm not actually mad i just like the comedic delivery of righteous but pointless anger

[animatedamerican]

[theroyalsavage]

[junglejim4322]

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

[junglejim4322]

Where am I

[oneheadtoanother]

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

[homunculus-argument]

Every time I suck ass at doing crafts, I tell myself: do not think about David Shrigley's piano dog. And every time, my brain tells me, whatever you say, dog.

[sergal]

big and cutes my me at you

[deinonychian]

#myme

[targetedknowledge]

[relevant-wikipedia-articles]

Apples and oranges - Wikipedia

Apples can be compared with oranges reasonably easily and on a low budget

[beemovieerotica]

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

[beemovieerotica]

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

[yellow-cat]

some days are really hard and it can be difficult to understand why. but usually its probably because my blood is haunted

[everyday-cutephoto]

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

[cryptotheism]

Cafe at The Portland art museum has Rothko no. 5 cakes. Something intellectually meaty about seeing the painting in person, and then eating a cake copy. The complete experience. Full spectrum.

[lacefuneral]

for ref:

[ospreyonthemoon]

THE ROTHCAKE.....

[huckleberryhal]

Grandma Ferret. (X)

[huckleberryhal]

Today’s Grandma Ferret

[magicratfingers]

REAL TEARS I AM CRYING REAL TEARS

[thewatcherandthewarden]

This is Sarasota County Ferret Rescue (linked above) and she posts all sorts of ferret outfits!

Consider donating to her, she takes crazy good care of her ferrets. She always chooses to try to save them, rather than getting them put down. Even when the surgeries are expensive and have low success rates, she always gives them a shot. She does everything for those ferrets, including only feeding them homemade raw food diets, and converting multiple rooms in her house into ferret paradises so they can free roam rather than living in cages. She really is the best ferret parent.

[txttletale]

sorry for [remembering a tumblr post about expressing gratitude instead of apologising to make the interaction more positive for the other person] i mean thank you for having a boyfriend who was so easy to run over withmy car and reverse over three times maybe four

[legallybrunettedotcom]

ever since i learned abt the concept of networking i knew i was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way

[legallybrunettedotcom]

i believe i can do everything in this life except feign interest and suck up to people