title

f/ 29 / i like weird shit

[maykitz]

[birdbigbutch]

you stole dog blood

[vhs-dvd-comboplayer]

[supermariomamafucker]

Lets all suck on glass together and make the aquarium clean for everyone

[vashthestampede-deactivated2020]

Why do you say men are objects? That’s not true and hurtful

men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

[citruscubes]

nobody asked but its very funny that this is the top post of all time in the adhd women subreddit

[gaylor-moon]

[undeadentropy]

[osakanone]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[tiktaalic]

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

[tiktaalic]

This getting reblogged with “and my thirties” “and my forties” “and my fifties”

[palant1r]

guess what building I’m back in again.

[dogpuppy]

[probuccalfat]

people say shit to me and i wish i could hold up a flashcard or something that’s just this

[probuccalfat]

my favourite thing is that everyone unanimously said “this post is about people in my life who use chatgpt”

[itssjanedoe]

[senatortedcruz]

Not gonna say it again

[legallybrunettedotcom]

ever since i learned abt the concept of networking i knew i was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way

[mypoorcanary]

[mypoorcanary]

everybody loves jamiroquai cuck gif

[inthesensethat]

[spiribia]

pesto is great for many bites but to me it’s always been a kind of samey indulgent experience in a specific way where if you happily eat your way through a large enough portion there will hit a point where you will very suddenly experience something called “pesto remorse” which i have just invented

[monsieurenjlolras]

No one ever: I hate Ellen DeGeneres.

[monsieurenjlolras]

Checking in eleven years later folks and it does seem like I was hugely wrong on this one. a BIG my bad to everybody involved