was it not a bitch that nursed rome? @mastsdontgrowontrees - Tumblr Blog

Crash

thespamman24

Do you ever wonder what happened to the weird girl from your middle school?

enthusispastic

plasticterrarium

The change of pronouns here really seals the deal tbh

whitepeopletwitter

Still waiting

k0nstantly-tragic

They'll never know 🤓

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

batman but with anatomically correct bat ears

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

if i may humbly elucidate:

chocolatemicenwhiskey

@ritzy-biscuit

ritzy-biscuit

@chocolatemicenwhiskey

Hope no one screams in those ears 😬

ritzy-biscuit

@origami-trust

I took a screenshot of your tags before you fixed them >:D

Can you imagine a bat dressed, crazed man driving by just yelling “ECHOLOCATION!”

ritzy-biscuit

@jovialjuggernaut @stephalupagous @untilfurthern0tice HERE.

penny-anna

more post reveal

Shazam: I'm still not clear on what the big deal is. I'm basically fifteen which is basically an adult

Cyborg: no that - that's not how it works. you don't have a fully developed brain

Shazam: wow, rude??

Cyborg: it's not an insult, it's just how brains work - you don't have a fully developed pre-frontal cortex yet so you're not really old enough to be making big decisions

Shazam: uh, counterpoint

Shazam: I'm in an adult body right now so I have an adult brain and an adult pre-frontal whatever.

Cyborg: no you-

Cyborg:

Cyborg: wow that's actually a really good point

Shazam: I know

Flash: further counterpoint: your body runs on magic and it's basically indestructible so we don't technically know what all's inside you

Flash: for all we know you might not have a brain.

Cyborg: also a really good point

Shazam: I. I'm pretty sure I have a brain??

Shazam: like I'm pretty sure I have all the regular organs? I must have a stomach cause I can eat and I feel like I have a heart

Shazam: I definitely have blood

Flash: who's to say though. might be nothing inside your head but magic dust.

Shazam, panicking: but I must have a brain, right? like I'm thinking with something right??

Flash: impossible to say.

penny-anna

Cyborg: why not just ask Superman

Shazam: say what

Cyborg: he's got x-ray vision, right? he should be able to tell you if you have regular organs

Shazam: oh damn you're right

*later*

Superman:

Shazam:

Superman:

Shazam: hey can I ask you kind of a weird question

Superman: ? sure

Shazam: do I have organs

ultrakart

Tom Dupain: feeds the local superhero

Wang Cheng: feeds the local superhero

Marinette Dupain Cheng: feeds the local superhero

galahadwilder

Chat: I have never once eaten in my life, ever, please Madame Sabine give me more food

broosepayne

Tim: There have been a lot of Batspiracies lately about you.

Bruce: Hn.

Tim: You should probably lay on Brucie pretty thick for a few months to get them off your back.

Bruce: Hn.

Tim: Stop complaining. I know you hate it but you have to.

Bruce: Fine. But do you always have to bully me in the replies—

Tim: Just make a post.

broosepayne

Tim: There have been a lot of Batspiracies lately about you.

Bruce: Hn.

Tim: You should probably lay on Brucie pretty thick for a few months to get them off your back.

Bruce: Hn.

Tim: Stop complaining. I know you hate it but you have to.

Bruce: Fine. But do you always have to bully me in the replies—

Tim: Just make a post.

incorrectbatfam

Tim: I think Young Justice has had a great year. I feel like a proud mama hen whose baby chicks have learned to fly.

Damian: Interesting analogy, Drake. Chickens are famously bad at flying.

broosepayne

Cass is out on patrol and sees Polka Dot Man trying to rob a Dollar General. After she shoos him away, she wanders down an aisle and soon finds the most absurd item in the store.

Cass, in full costume, approaching the cashier: How much?

Paul the Cashier, a fifty year old man who has been working night shifts in Gotham for over thirty years: Just take it. Christ.

—

Later that week:

Tim, stepping into the shower, sees this peeking out at him from behind his shampoo:

Tim: …okay

Tim, texting Cass: Did you give me a Rainbow Batman?

Cass: Pass along the Rainbow Batman for good luck

—

Jason, returning to his safe house after a long night, opens the fridge and sees Rainbow Batman standing knee-deep in his potato salad.

Jason: fuck is this

Tim, texting him seconds later: Pass along Rainbow Batman for good luck.

—

Over the next few months, Rainbow Batman circulates its way around most of the Bat-team. It bounces from Jason to Dick to Damian to Steph. Eventually it gets to Duke, who is tasked with presenting it to Bruce. He waits until Bruce is in a decent mood, then puts it on the driver’s seat of the Batmobile one night as they are all wrapping up a case.

Bruce, opening the Batmobile door: —thank you for your help, Dick. I know you’ve been busy. And Duke, I appreciate you altering your schedule for us. Steph, your intel was excellent. I’m very pleased with the outcome of this mission. You all managed to keep the insubordination at a tolerable level.

Jason, whispering to Dick: Damn, two thank-yous, a compliment, and only one passive-aggressive comment? Did he get laid or something?

Bruce, spotting the Rainbow Batman: I…

Bruce:

Bruce: This??

Bruce: Is this…

Duke, about to explain: Cass found it—

Bruce, clearly trying to process something, blurts out: Is this your way of telling me you all know about Clark?

Everyone:

Jason: called it

ichigo-kuriimu

the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function

ichigo-kuriimu

Standard English: It’s cold, isn’t it?

Japanese: Samui desu ne?

British: It’s fuckin’ freezin’, innit?

ichigo-kuriimu

i have to do everything around here

notahorseindisguise

i hate this cause i did japanese for like a year and this explains the use of the -ne particle WAYYYY better than my teachers ever did. it took me ages to comprehend what this post makes abundantly clear.

my teachers: its like a, a little rise at the end of a sentence, to show that you are seeking a response, while not warranting the -ka particle which would make it a proper question.

me: ok. i guess i get that??

this post: its like saying “innit?”

me: oh. oh no.

wind-on-the-panes-deactivated20

fun fact: afaik, "-ne" was inherited from the Portuguese settlers/priests that stayed in Japan in the 16th century. It comes from "né?", which the contraction of "não é?", "isn't it?".

It's LITERALLY "innit".

twofingerswhiskey

oh so like "eh" in canadian

the-last-teabender

*un-Babels your Tower*

menlove-archive

honest to god can’t stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it’s such a good example of politically driven folk music.

kaizykat

Lyrics:

Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, “I can give you anything you ask” “You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It’s unlimited, just set me to the task.”

Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, “I want houses, “I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start.”

Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered ‘round To admire the man whose wishes had come true

They said, “Let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he’s been set so far apart.” “Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff who has everything! ‘Cause his wishes are only at the start.”

Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, “Everybody’s getting in my way.” The genie smiled as before, “You’ve got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away.”

Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet ‘Til he finally said, “I have just one wish more.” “I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore.”

Well, the genie’s eyes got big and sad and shiny ‘Til she finally said, “Your wish is my command.” And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again

So, let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff, who’s got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart