[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[marlinspirkhall]

I've got to find myself more macrophage

[acesexualspock]

Now Hiring: macrophages

[shencomix]

[homunculus-argument]

I know that I'll certainly never be someone they'd build a memorial for, but if I could get one, I'd like to get one of those park bench statues that are sitting on the bench. Specifically of me sitting casually looking towards the other seat at an angle, looking intrigued with a "surprised but not disappointed" kind of a look on my face. Kind of a "huh, won't you look at that."

I want that specifically so people can make it a meme to post pictures of themselves showing me stuff. Like memes off their phone.

Or maybe things that they are proud of but don't have anyone else to show them to. Like your school graduation papers, this cool knitting project you finally finished, your baby who's never going to see their grandparents.

And I also want a clause that they will absolutely fucking never put those anti-homeless things of any kind on my damn bench. So if there's ever someone who's got nobody else to keep them company, they can at least spend the night with me.

[shencomix]

[pocketss]

goodbye boy

[knowyournewmeme]

You: *panicking, running for your life through my labyrinth space station*

Me, over intercoms: You have terf bangs

[charliekirkassassinationkink]

[only-tiktoks]

[swan2swan]

Millions of Years of Immutable Evolutionary Law: “Cats shall have litters of many offspring at one time. Some will be weak or stricken with disease--they will perish to allow the stronger siblings to escape, and to satiate other predators in order to reduce competition and encourage the existence of more capable adults.”

Human Beings:

[magicalmanhattanproject]

important note: this cat's full name is breakfast sandwich

[shencomix]

[willowrosenberg1997]

katniss really is the world's best pov character. she is: obtuse, cynical, unobservant, delusional, hostile, paranoid, and flat out not interested in what is going on around her. I'm not being sarcastic I sincerely love reading a narrator who is lying to herself and the reader constantly. it just brings me joy

[tsundernova]

Domestic dispute in public

[pastel-prouvaire-deactivated201]

PSA: tumblr user littlefuckinmonster is stealing human bones from cemeteries in Louisiana. Please don’t let them get away with this and spread the word/signal boost!

[wdapteo]

this post is officially a decade old now

[mutantrenegade]

For anyone who wasnt around when this happened, this was real. Littlefuckinmonster was actually stealing bones from cemeteries. She is the bone stealing witch. She was specifically stealing bones from poor people. She was arrested for it.

[funnytwittertweets]

[elevenspond-deactivated20250819]

[skittyminecraft]

x

[arabella-ardor]

[faggotjonesss]

[roach-works]

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

[roach-works]

i am looking into your eyes, i am holding your hand. i absolutely promise.

if you can just live long enough, your soul will build your body into a home. you will live there and you will find a way to be at peace. it’s worth the time and it’s worth the work. i promise.

[linddzz]

Even the friends of mine in their 30s who haven’t “figured it out” with careers or romance or who still haven’t felt settled are just…so much more chill and at peace than in their 20s. By then you seem to really internalize that there isn’t a set “due date” for things in life. You settle into your skin more, you learn what is and isn’t worth expending a lot of emotional energy at.

There’s still stress and mental illness and anxiety and worry, but your mental and emotional tool box gets more rounded so you know how to deal with things better.

Also sometimes you get the thrill of having a Youth say you look cool, and that’s always a great feeling when you also have Youths calling you shit like “elder emo” and saying your Fall Out Boy blaring loud “really shows your age.”

[hellowearerats]

[shiftythrifting]

What even is this mug?

Found at Amvets in Buffalo, NY

[plaguerightsactivist]

girl u good?

[bravesalamander]