I fucking love this

tannertan36
Xuebing Du

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
noise dept.
hello vonnie

PR's Tumblrdome
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor

roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
we're not kids anymore.
Not today Justin

Origami Around
🪼

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@matthewdoolittle
I fucking love this
vine legends just randomly popping up on tiktok gets me every time
We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.
Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.
Barry: Eat the rich!
Bruce: Oh thank Go-
Clark: Oh, I intend to 🥴🥵
It’s Batman’s turn. Bruce needs to decide whether to marry himself for the money or throw himself off the cliff.
Okay but can you imagine what kind of identity reveal situation that would be?
“I would fuck —-, I would marry —-, and then I would commit suicide.”
“Batman, that’s not how the game is played. You have to choose for Bruce Wayne.”
“I did.”
“…WHAT?!”
“I would kill Bruce Wayne just to get him out of this conversation.”
This works best if the reveal comes after literally everyone else has played, and half of the people have said “I’d marry Bruce Wayne for the money” and the other half have not only said that they’d fuck him, but been reasonably graphic as to how.
Flash: So, tall, dark, and scary, what’ll it be? Are you going to marry Bruce Wayne so he can fund all of your sick gadgets? Maybe you’ll be a gentle lover to him like Aquaman here, work him over like a hunk of meat like Supes? Or maybe Brucie is the one person in the world you break your code for. Come on, what’ve you got for us?
Batman: -pauses- Honestly, I don’t think there will ever be a better time for this. -pulls off his cowl-
Justice League: -horrified screeching-
[Transcript:
Bill (Professional Henchman), wearing a black medical face mask, standing guard against a door: *to himself* "God I hate morning patrols. At least when I'm not on night patrol I'm not getting hit by Batman....Although I do have to wake up early so I might actually prefer getting hit by Batman."
Random Henchman (face exposed): *comes down the stairs* "Hey, man, Boss just called and said I'm gonna be guarding the door with you tonight."
Bill: "Sounds good. Whoa hey- where...where's your mask, man?"
Random Henchman: "Ex..excuse me?"
Bill: "Last time I checked we're still in the middle of a fucking pandemic, man. There's a mask mandate. Where's your fuckin' mask?"
RH: "Are you kidding?? Who fucking cares if there's a mask mandate, man. We're villains! We're henchmen, we're evil - we break the law all the time! It's literally our job!
Bill: "We're villains and we break the law, but we're not fuckin stupid. We still listen to science."
RH: "Maybe you do."
Bill: "What the actual fuck are you talk- we're working for a super scientist right now! That is Mr. Freeze in there!"
RH: "Don't be so fuckin' paranoid."
Bill: *closes eyes* "Tell me that a henchman in Gotham City did not just tell me to not be paranoid!!"
RH: "Fuckin' whatever. Still not wearing a mask, dude."
Bill: "Yes, the fuck you are! Or Imma report your ass to the Goonion!"
RH: "Fucking come on! Seriously, dude?"
Bill: "Absolutely! I am more concerned about my and everyone else's safety than your fuckin' friendship. Go put on a mask or you're getting reported, asshole."
RH: *glare*
Bill: *pointed look*
RH: "Fine. Fuck." *turns around* "God, you're a prick."
Bill: *calls after him sarcastically* "I'm sorry for caring about the people around me, you fucking heartless asshole!"
Bill: *mutters indistinctly to himself* "...don't even like wearing these things...get this shit over with..."
*waits*
Bill: *muttering again* "...fuckin' vaccinated, Jesus...for christ's sake..."
...
Bill: "...he go buy one from the 7/11? Where the fuck is he?"
RH: *coming back down* "I got a mask you fuckin' asshole."
Bill: "It's about fuckin ti...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"
RH: *wearing a Cobra Commander full face helmet* "What? You said a mask! This is a mask!"
Bill: "You know good and goddamn well I meant a face mask!"
RH: "Sor-ry, but I don't carry medical grade face masks everywhere that I go!"
Bill: "Yeah, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable than having a- why do you have that?"
RH: "I'm a hench for hire okay? The Goonion sends me wherever I need to go and the last place I went was goddamn Cobra headquarters in Springfield!"
Bill: "That's from a another villain's henchman? That's even more reason you can't fucking wear it!"
RH: "D'you want me to wear a fucking mask or not??"
Bill: "I will just loan you a mask! Just take the helmet off!"
RH: "You mean you made me go through all this and you could have just loaned me a mask this entire fuckin time?"
Bill: "You're on year two of this motherfucker! Everyone has a mask! I did not think I was going to need to get you one or you were going to wear a fucking Cobra helmet! Take it off!"
RH: "Fine! Fuck. Goddamn it." *moves to take it off*
Bill: *mutters in disbelief* "Un-fucking-believable."
RH: *struggles with helmet, grunting*
Bill: *eyeroll* "What fuckin' now?"
RH: *muffled* "It's stuck."
Bill: "What."
RH: *frustrated groan* "It's fucking stuck, okay?"
Bill: *shakes head in disbelief* "How did you make it out of training?"
RH: *more frustrated groaning* "Are you gonna fucking help or not?"
Bill: "Fuck. Here." *pulls down helmet and feels around it* "There's a latch in the back."
RH: *grunt of approval* "There you go. Think you got it."
Bill: *stands back* "Alright. There. Jeez-"
RH: *pulls off helmet to reveal Red Hood helmet underneath* "Awesome. Thank you."
Bill: "Fuck!!!" *stumbles back and runs*
Red Hood: *to himself* "Nice to know they're at least staying safe. Welp." *cocks gun* "Time to fix that."]
Do whatever you want, no cosmic entity is keeping score.
The super bowl or whatever I'm not american
Oh NOBODY'S going to be horny after this
Amazing tags
my ankle is so fuckin horny tho
A victorian
Every reply this is is another punch in the gut
Happy International Non-Binary People’s Day!
Wait, it got better.
You died and found yourself in a Hellish afterlife where every soul is a slave to Qin Shi Huang, it turns out that being buried with a model army gives you those troops and any magic associated with them in the afterlife. Fortunately your buddies buried you with your Warhammer 40k army…
My eighth grade English teacher will always be the coolest fucking man to ever live and I have a story to prove it. To celebrate the end of the first semester, the teachers took the entire eighth grade on a school trip to the local movie theater to watch the tamest PG movie showing at the time: Ralph Breaks The Internet. Unsurprisingly, no eighth grader had any interest in watching the sequel to Wreck It Ralph, but pretty much everyone went anyway because why the heck not?
So we all walk to the theater and everyone’s just chilling and talking about stuff completely unrelated to the film, just excited to be spending school hours not listening to a lecture. The theater dims and everyone quiets down with a few mumbles here and there. The screen lights up and here comes the logos and– wait a minute, Sony?! Where’s the Disney logo? And why’s everything all glitchy?! The air is thick with confusion, and what comes on instead of Ralph Breaks The Internet? Fucking Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse, hours before its first showing in our area. Turns out our old, mild mannered English teacher wanted to surprise us and checked in with all the teachers on the way there to ask if he could convince the theater to swap out Ralph for Spiderverse. The theater thankfully said yes, resulting in probably the greatest moment of shared confusion and excitement in my life. Shoutout to Mr B for gifting me such a fond experience with one of the best films of all time.
by rights Obi-wan should have been able to talk Anakin down, when you think about it
original post: (x)
requested by @a-smiling-travesty
Are you proud of yourself? Are you happy you made this?
Oh you have no idea.
I’m happy you made this
We’d all be witches lets be honest
Stairs in my brother’s guest room.
Fuck getting up them drunk.
Trying to get down, when hungover, still drunk and you really have to pee. That’s when they get you.
Home architects really woke up one day and chose violence.
I want to write a fic where Lilo goes to college and her roommate is Boo from Monsters Inc. Boo is the first person to think Stitch is adorable and cuddly, and Lilo is the first person not to act like “Mike Wazowski” was a weird name for a goldfish. They get on like a house on fire which is kind of bad for Nani’s blood pressure.
But then one night they wake up in the middle of the night because something is in their closet. And the door starts to creak open so Stitch tackles whoever (whatever) is in there. They fall back into the closet, the door slams shut… and when Lilo runs over and opens it there’s nothing but an empty closet.
Then Boo tells Lilo all about this weird thing that happened to her when she was a kid, and how no one ever believed her but she knows it was real.
And cue Lilo and Boo busting into the Monster world to rescue Stitch and wreaking mad havoc in the process.
SEE THIS IS A WORTHY SEQUEL
This needs to happen
Petition for the movie to be hand-drawn in Lilo and Stitch’s style when they’re in the human world, and computer animated once they go through the door into the monster world.
OOPS MY HAND SLIPPED - I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF