pylades shitfaced

thomas • they/xe/he/she pronouns • 20s

[calebwittebane]

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

[ilovedthestars]

"how do you feel about labels as a queer person?"

[igorafvckassbowlcut]

there are days where NO ❌️ video games are played and there are days where video games are played for 10 or maybe 14 hours straight

[dateamonster]

linking arms with my fellow beloved transes who like nonconsensual and/or monstrous transformation story tropes because it allows you a fantasy where you get to change your body without being made to feel at fault for it

[dateamonster]

i shouldve been born into the universe where i get bit by a werewolf or something and struggle with my new monstrous form a while until i ultimately realize that i love being an inhuman beast and start living my best life, instead of this universe where i have to stick myself with a needle once a week to achieve a form that will only be seen as monstrous by a select portion of the population and i cant even render their bodies unidentifiable about it

[dateamonster]

to the people saying this is awakening something in them, its never too late, and if imagining that youre being experimented on by a mad scientist to turn you into a Creature against your will is how you get there, then thats how you get there

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this website gets me

[bettedavisgf]

i’m a very rational person in general but i kind of do believe in sports curses. because of the evidence

[ladystoneshart]

I love accidental butch magnet catelyn stark... mya stone, brienne, the mormonts... none of them are gay but the butch instinct makes them flock around the alpha femme like stray dogs begging for food can't wait to see asha greyjoy swear herself to lady stoneheart in winds 🙂‍↕️

[iamthemaestro]

found this at an antique shop the other day and was immediately like oh this belongs on tumblr. sniles sneetly. fwowns fwangry.

[thesituation]

i’m capable of finding blondes attractive

[thesituation]

under the right conditions

[maxfurshtappanleclair]

Charles Leclerc,is that you?

[thesituation]

yes it’s me, monacan f1 driver charles leclerc,i need your help to win my next race, all you have to do is send me the 16 numbers on the front of your debit card, the expiration, and the 3 numbers on the back

[team-orders]

mika hakkinen (2000) & franco colapinto (2026) making double overtakes down the kemmel straight

[yesornopolls]

Do you personally know someone born on the same day as you (day, month and year) who is not your twin?

Do you personally know someone born on the same day as you (day, month and year) who is not your twin?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 4 days 16 hours

[kikmessenger]

sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully

[kikmessenger]

skips a stone over a few posts

[oughtnots]

when your mutual reblogs something with a full page of tags its like. girl (gender neutral) i am filling my mug with coffee and reading this like the morning paper. i am so interested in your thoughts on this post. i love you.

[russellius]

2026 BELGIAN GP : DNF

GR 🗯️ : I'M OUT, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH THE SOC DOWN THE STRAIGHT, I HAD NO FUCKING BATTERY! Guys. Unacceptable. Un-fucking-acceptable the whole weekend.

[team-orders]

mark webber & oscar piastri overtaking a ferrari into eau rouge, 15 years apart

[thisdamnedwierdinternet]

Interviewer: “Oscar, only P5 today after a lot of battles. What did you miss today?”

Oscar: “Uhm... A few parts of my car? [...]”

Please, Oscar, never change.

[wondersmith-and-sons]

Which of the following moments in British politics was funniest?

David Cameron allegedly fucking a pig (2015)

Theresa May Brexit deal sees worst parliamentary defeat of any British PM (2019)

Dominic Cummings' social distancing scandal is named #Cumgate (2021)

Matt "Eat Out to Help Out" Hancock caught having affair with his aide (2021)

MP resignations reach critical mass under Boris Johnson (2022)

The Queen dies 2 days after meeting Liz Truss (2022)

Liz Truss who doesn't outlast head of lettuce (2022)

Nigel Farage has to run in by-election against Count Binhead (2026)

I'm American and I never read news from outside of my country

Something else entirely (I'll tell you in the tags)

Voting ended onJul 19

Note: don't let your recency bias decide this, actually think back to what was the objectively funniest time on the internet.