I'm so confused, can we start over?

ire, 24, she/her, italy - very much open to random asks and dm, feel free to spam me cause chances are i will love it 👨🏻‍🚒 buddie truther til the day i die and bobby IS alive, i don't make the rules ❤️ julemmaes on ao3

[meddietating]

hit my ears as such an awful sound

word count: 6304

summary: buck has a panic attack after lifting eddie up and having flashbacks to the worst day of his life

i wonder by my troth, what thou and i did, till we loved?

word count: 8106

summary: christopher reads an analysis of the good morrow by john donne and buck feels it all

again, still, forever

word count: 11415

summary: eddie gets a call from the hospital to go identify the body of who the police thinks is buck

nothing worse than my enemy being right

word count: 10856

summary: 5 times eddie corrects tommy on something buck related and the 1 time tommy is actually right

word count:

ficlets

buck feeling sick and eddie taking care of him

buck confessing his feelings and finally going to eddie with his grief (9x06 coda)

[lucylehane]

"The sex tells the story, so it never felt gratuitous to me. The sex is character development. The sex is what is moving this relationship forward, and watching it change over time."

Jacob Tierney on It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[tinylilemrys]

Shane and Ilya would both get book deals, I think. But Shane's would be part practical hockey guidebook, part motivational self-help book. He and Yuna write it together. He just wants there to be a book that new professional hockey players can read that will give them an idea of what to expect. Especially players moving to North America from overseas who are having to enter a whole new world not just in their career, but their whole life. And even though it's aimed at pro hockey players, it has wider appeal from hockey fans who like to dream about what it might have been like to be a pro player. It's also just super fucking funny. Like genuinely worth the read just for the humour and wit alone.

Ilya's is a memoir called something like "This Boy Pucks" or "Big Stick Energy". It turns out to be surprisingly poignant and emotional because he's super honest about what happened to his mom, growing up in an abusive home, his own struggles with his mental health, and what it's been like being one of the first two MLH players to ever marry each other. It's funny of course, but also gut-wrenchingly beautiful.

And, of course, they each dedicate the book to the other. Because the story wouldn't be the same without him.

[bad3idea3]

So Ilya and Shane's first game against the Bears post-outing is a surprising delight. It starts with a jumbotron video of street interviews of Boston fans being like "Yeah we thought Rozy was a total fucking idiot going to Ottawa but DAMN, moving for sexiest hockey player of the year Shane Hollander makes a lot more sense" which then fades into an Ilya Rozanov tribute video interspersed with various thirst-trappy videos of Shane to the song "Where is my Husband?" by Raye.

Ilya is delighted and even does the whole hand-waving choreography for "I would like a ring, a diamond ring" part in Shane's face as he blushes. He does this with his non-dominant hand of course, because they have been holding hands the whole video. (Shane will buy Ilya 7 different high-end diamond rings on Newbury Street the next day for him to pick from. Ilya like a good Slavic trophy spouse will pick all of them.)

And at the end, at the "Grandma said it," part cameras cut to Cliff Marlow in a curly gray wig and fake glasses shouting "Your husband is coming, Roz, don't fuck it up!

[oshell-on-ice]

I think at some point Ilya’s therapist gets concerned by what seems to be a codependent and anxious attachment btw Ilya and Shane. When Shane the Doer hears about it, For the sake of his husband’s mental health’s improvement and the preservation of a healthy marriage, he convinces Ilya to try installing boundaries and do activities separately. It lasts a week before Ilya comes home sobbing from a video game session with Troy communicating that if they keep this boundary thing up he’ll need to switch his meds’ dosage because he’s miserable. Shane jumps from the couch he’s been sitting on for 40minutes because he was supposed to eat diner with rose but he kept wanting to make jokes and look at ilya to see him laugh but he wasn’t there and it SUCKED OMG and Shane starts sobbing too because if they keep this up he will have to get on his own meds and let’s never do this again I hate it when I can’t smell you near me

[hyphenemdash]

situationship to codependency final boss actually

[hyphenemdash]

The Cens are in the locker room after a pretty light practice, the season not yet in full swing, and the topic turns to married life, as it often does.

Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…

“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”

There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.

“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.

“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”

The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.

“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”

Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.

“Say that again.”

Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.

“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”

Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.

“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”

And thus starts the social media scrolling to figure out which Charge players are 1) single, 2) in Holms age range, and 3) into men

[drabbles-and-rambles]

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.

[sunnypeachyy]

Mr. Ilya “IDGAF” Rozanov.

[scinnlaece]

"Maybe you should... do you want me to...?"

HEATED RIVALRY | 1.06 "The Cottage"

[softshane]

ilya is in one of his depressive episodes and shane tries to cheer him up by telling him about all the things shane loves about him. ilya is quiet for a moment and then mumbles, mainly to himself, "noo don’t kill yourself you’re so sexy aha" before bursting into laughter and shane has no idea what’s going on but it’s the first time he‘s seen ilya even so much as smile in days, so he‘ll take it

[my-castles-crumbling]

congratulate - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 268 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

It'd always been his little habit. A way to keep up morale and create a unified team. The guys-even the ones who shrank away from affection and were all 'no homo' and 'that's gay' loved it. After bad games, it brought them up, and after good games, it brought them higher. Ilya was a good fucking captain, and thanking and congratulating his teammates was important to him.

"I love you," Ilya said, bumping gloves with Bood as he skated off the ice.

"I love you," he continued, thumping Hayes on the back when he exited the rink.

"I love you," he beamed, lightly tapping Haas's helmet, thrilled with the goal the younger player had scored.

But oh. This was the first time Shane was here on the same team. And of course, he was last in line to leave the ice. Ilya couldn't help but smirk as he saw his husband draw closer.

"I love you," he murmured to Dykstra, bumping his glove. "I love you," he grinned to Barrett. "I love you," he said to Chouinard. Then--

Shane, still a bit red-faced and panting from his last-second score right before the buzzer of the last third, was now looking at him, a small smile on his face. Expectation was clear in his eyes, and he held his glove out like he was waiting for a tap, for praise, for those three words.

It almost made Ilya sad to do what he did next.

Almost.

"You did okay, Hollander," he said dismissively, turning and walking towards the locker room without touching Shane at all.

"Rozanov, what the fuck?"

[lurkerdelima]

Shane & Ilya hanging out with Skip for unspecified reasons and the first time Kip teasingly says “girl!” to him about something, Shane just makes this face

[themoonandmyman]

Ilya when Kip calls him ‘girl’

[darlingofdots]

okay but Shane takes a hit late in the game and doesn't return so in the post-game presser somebody (they're new, they don't know any better, they will never make this mistake again) asks Ilya "how's Hollander's head" and Ilya experiences every emotion at once as he wrestles with the lingering terror of seeing the love of his life take five seconds too long to get up (he's fine) and also the sheer delight at being offered this perfect, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on a silver platter

[darlingofdots]

and with absolutely heroic effort, ilya says something entirely boring and appropriate about concussions, can't be too careful but thankfully nothing to worry about this time, Hollander will be back in time to crush the Pamphlets, yada yada, because he is a good husband and respects Shane's boundaries, and then they're walking to the car to finally go home and Shane is holding an icepack and there are still a couple reporters milling about and some asshole yells "hey Hollander, you sure your head's okay?"

and Shane looks directly into their phone camera and says, "I don’t know, you'll have to ask my husband"

[penandinkprincess]

okay but i feel like after their relationship is already public and shane has had some time to settle into "well, people are going to ask anyway," he actually gets more comfortable chirping ilya in interviews and on the ice because atp what are people going to read into? they're already married.

but this then makes people go ??? are things okay at home??? because shane hollander who has had a few comments here and there over the years but has largely always been very professional and polite now pulls things out like "hey, if you wanna focus up on hockey and not your standup routine, that would be fucking great, thanks" and "worst part of playing with my husband? having to go home with him after he does something impressive, yeah. after that goal tonight, he's free to a good home if anyone's interested."

and making this even MORE confusing is that ilya is just all heart eyes during everything because what HE knows is that this is who shane has ALWAYS been, and now he just gets to see it even more.

[argillaforma]

I love silly and maybe a little awkward sex hollanov i love ilya talking a big game and then coming in two thrusts because shane is tight and they haven’t seen each other in weeks and shane giggling saying well you better be ready for round two i love shane saying just give me a fucking second when ilya enters him because it’s a lot and the angle is weird so he has to wiggle around like a worm i love both of them having a laughing fit because the bed squeaks like crazy and they can’t take it seriously i love ilya throwing everything off the bed because they can’t find the lube that was just there two seconds ago

[meddietating]

This is probably gonna sound fake as fuck but I'm gonna try anyway😭😭

Does anyone who is in Lisbon right now wanna come to a Sleeping at Last concert for free tomorrow night (17th of May)? I have two tickets cause my friends didn't manage to get to Portugal on time and now I'm going by myself. My friends don't care about the money so this would be completely free, swear on my love for Hollanov

(If you see this on twt ((meddietating)) and tumblr ((@julemmaes)) as well it's cause those are all my accounts, please don't report me)

[myshangel]

instances of shane, the worlds most jock, calling ilya baby:

“Baby, what time is it?”

“Huh? Hold on, baby, I can’t hear you. Fuck, it’s loud in here.”

“Fuck, Ilya, yes, like that, baby, just like that, fuck—“

“Ilya, what’s— Are you crying? What’s wrong, baby, it’s okay, it’s— What’s wrong? Please, tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Fuckin’ A, Rozanov! Yes, baby! Fuck, that was a good one. C’mere.”

“Mm, baby, your feet are cold. Ah! Ilya, get your cold fucking feet off me. Put some socks on. Jesus.”

“Hold on, I’ll ask him— Baby, my mom wants to know if steak is good for dinner?”

“Your hair is so fluffy today. No, no, come back, let me— Yes. Thank you, baby.”

“Ilyusha. My baby. Ilyusha. You’re so pretty. Don’t laugh! I’m being serious!”

“You’re gonna have to skate better than that to beat me in the scoring race, baby, I’m locked in this season.”

“Fuck, baby, you’re burning up. No, asshole, I mean you’re sick. You can’t go to practice like this, don’t be fucking stupid.”

“Uh, just a beer, please. Thank you, baby, that’s perfect.”

“Ilya, baby, you want a pretzel?”

“Hi, baby. You looked good out there, that goal was fuckin’ insane.”