you must be the short depressed kid we ordered

thanks for stopping we’re open all day Halle • 29 • she/her

[ms-demeanor]

this made me laugh so hard that it triggered an asthma attack.

[the-evil-skull]

You don't like the ninth doctor?... bananas are good? We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world? Just this once, everybody lives? Kill yourself?

[antarctic-arcanine]

If I ever share anything that was AI generated it is purely by accident. I hate that it's getting harder and harder to tell and it makes me want to never use the internet again. It definitely had its faults, but man I miss the internet of the 2000s so much.

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, “Before”, Instructions for Traveling West

[sambuchito]

the thing is.. it is the humidity that gets you...

[loverboyfae]

ask not for whom the bell peppers

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

i got a fucking. advertisement on youtube. from google ai. saying. without sarcasm and with complete sincerity. "if shakespeare is too hard for you, you can always have our ai explain it to you." im gonna throw up. im gonna throw a molotov cocktail. if i see that ad again im reporting it for hate speech. how fucking dare you. i will kill you with my bare hands. with my exit pursued by a bear hands. i will tear google headquarters down brick by brick. im going to start biting people.

[that-house]

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

[anyroads]

#cold inspires a universal element of human nature that says let's share this fire for warmth and survival#heat inspires a universal element of human nature that says i hate you i hate the air it's sticky and i am going to do violence

you're right and you should say it

[evil-puppetmaster]

There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man

[flowerytale]

Anne Sexton, from A Self-Portrait in Letters

[clowncafeb-deactivated20250901]

[algrolo]

While you were studying the blade, I was studying you. You're weak on your left side and your footwork could use improvement. Also I think I've fallen in love with you. Who said that.

[lewisrain]

[chutefullofholes]

well i’m sure that i could be a movie star if i could get out of this place or whatever

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

our new head chef Barbecue Pistol is going to rock your world with his brand new fry sauce which is a mix of ketchup and mayonnaise and a little sriracha for that pistol kick

[feisar]

he just made this for me

[djo]

DAVID CORENSWET as CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN Superman (2025) dir. James Gunn

[chronictranssexuality]

"you don't owe anyone anything" You are a tar pit. Speak for yourself. I personally owe the cafe employees my dishes put away and my friends a listening ear and small scared insects a cup and a gentle trip outside. Hyperindividualism is a rancid infection borne of capitalism and willfully misinterpreted therapyspeak and I will defy it by continuing to be kind regardless of whether or not it benefits me personally

[iamthetruenhaz]

"You don't owe anyone anything" is for when people actively demand things from you beyond basic courtesy. It's not an excuse to be a jerk.