"if yr stabbed dont take the knife out" okay so thats basiclaly cockwarming
i can never leave this place

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@menderil
"if yr stabbed dont take the knife out" okay so thats basiclaly cockwarming
i can never leave this place
every day i tell myself i need to leave the disco elysium subreddit then someone is really funny on there and i’m forced to keep going
Forgive me.
only if you forgive me
His world now
HEY YOU
YOURE FINALLY AWAKE
Oh sweet Jesus.
i am so sorry for this
Where the FUCK is he?
Return my beacon to Mount Kilkreath
not today...
like mother like son passed on her love for tall big tiddy goths
IT'S GENERATIONAL BAYBEEE
great
this looks helpful at least
another good source i would recommend following is Matthew Cortland, who is a public health/disability/law professional who does excellent writeups:
Cyclospora infection is often asymptomatic, but when symptoms occur, illness is characterized by anorexia, nausea, flatulence, fatigue, abdo
nb. I got into this outbreak in detail, even though I was having surgery, because I need to know what is safe for me to eat as someone who
No, actually "use your brain and you won't get it" is downright evil advice. You can't personal choice your way out of this. All it takes is a little cross-contamination somewhere (anywhere!) in the supply chain and literally any fresh vegetable you eat, whether from a grocery store or a farmer's market or a restaurant or a cafeteria could give you cyclosporiasis.
The only way to completely eliminate risk (of cyclospora specifically) is by eating only canned or frozen veggies. Cooking kills cyclospora, but there's always a risk of cross-contamination during food prep if the veggie starts out raw.
People love to throw out lists of things to avoid, always implying that if you get sick it's because you're stupid. So here's some actually useful info for if you get sick
1) The food that made you sick was something you ate in the last week. Throw out any leftovers & do some cleaning of cooking surfaces just in case
2) Normal symptoms: watery diarrhea, "loose" stool, abdominal/stomach cramps, maybe a little vomiting, nausea
3) NOT normal symptoms: bloody diarrhea, dark & tarry stool, fever, lots of vomiting. If you have any of these (or start to get these later), it could mean complications due to cyclospora or it could be something else. Go see a doctor asap
4) Most infections are self-limiting (they'll get better with a few days rest). Sometimes symptoms go away and then come back a few days later. That's normal & fine. If you're sick for longer than 2-3 days without any sign of getting better, that's NOT normal & you should see a doctor. The infection can persist for a month if not treated & you happen to be one of the cases that isn't self-limiting
5) if you need to see a doctor, do your very best NOT to poop beforehand. they will want to do a stool culture and it sucks so bad to do that at home
6) there are rapid tests for shiga-toxin that they'll do on your stool sample which will be done in about a day. The other tests for non-cyclospora diseases take ~2 days to complete. The centers that do cyclospora tests are completely overwhelmed right now, so that result might not come back for weeks so...
7) DEMAND A TREATMENT PLAN FROM YOUR DOCTOR. this is critical. At your first visit, get them to make a plan where after the negative tests come back, they will prescribe an antibiotic & do not wait for the cyclospora test
8) The antibiotic for cyclospora should be Bactrim (TMP/SMX), which has a 96% efficacy by 3 days. It might be something different if you have allergies tho. There are lots of options, it isn't hard to kill. You'll probably start to feel better in less than 24 hrs.
9) Take ALL of the pills they give you (2/day for 7 days). Do not stop just because you feel better and the pills make you feel nauseous and it's probably fine right? Wrong. That's how you get antibiotic resistance & that can kill you stone dead
10) if you're taking bactrim & feel short of breath or like you can't breathe quite right, go to the hospital right away. sometimes it does that & makes ppl stop breathing. it's like one in a million, but it can happen & it's better to know
I need my whole life to change and I also need to go grocery shopping
its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier Baéz’s nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier Báez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (“home”), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Pirates’ turn to bat, and the Cubs can’t score anymore (for now, but that’s not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of… jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Pirates’ first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesn’t tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. He’s never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and he’s enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. That’s because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubs’ turn to bat is over, and nothing else that’s happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first baseman’s job.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard won’t change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubs’ turn to bat.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesn’t show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
The Cubs won this game by two points.
HAPPY OPENING DAY OF BASEBALL 2022 YALL. LETS PRAY FOR MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT
I know I’ve reblogged this before, but here’s a version with an explanation for folks unfamiliar with the game* and this amazing comment:
Never change, Pittsburgh
Reblogging with the breakdown of what happened for anyone who isn’t familiar with the rules of baseball and wants to understand why we can’t stop talking about this play.
we got august this week
Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is
"wait but if u saw the paperclip why would u just leave it there?" its the adhd. Also if i had put it away then i wouldnt have been able to find it a month later when i needed it. So. Checkmate neurotypicals.
Problem is when the ADHD catalogue is out of date, when you go to check under the couch cushion for that paperclip and it ISNT there, sometimes your brain will just give you a montage of false memories of everywhere you've ever seen a paper clip, like this
yeah yeah the paperclip montage, we've all seen it
ok so its not just me. ok good to know
Fuck my life, why are you in my head
thinking about how Buffy didn't find out about the high school rumors about her being gay until college probably because the students at sunnydale were just so used to her weird shit that the lesbian thing was likely the least interesting part to talk about
like who gives a shit who she's sleeping with when you've seen her stab people with a pool stick in the middle of the club during her first week in town
That moment in Conversations is so hilarious to me because Buffy is like "What the hell?! Gay? I dated Scott Hope! How could they believe such a rumour?!" Meanwhile the Sunnydale students are probably watching her - about a week after splitting up with Scott she starts hanging out with some strange girl who doesn't go to your school and wears leather jackets and combat boots constantly, and is weirdly touchy with her. At one point this girl turns up during an exam, draws a heart on the window, and Buffy just like jumps out the window after her. Like... sure Buffy, it's a complete mystery why anyone would have believed that rumour. Total mystery.
first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.
The Most Tumblr Punchline
I've noted before that my favorite punchline on Tumblr is "hang on, gotta look something up/okay that's funny."
Let me explain why:
It is a way to say "I don't get it" without blaming the joke or the teller.
It is a tacit admission of ignorance without shame or judgement.
It assumes responsibility for acquiring the knowledge the respondent doesn't already have.
It cues other people who Don't Get It to do the look-up themselves, allowing them to get that full impact of Getting It without derailing the post with explanations.
It gives subsequent readers, whether or not THEY got the joke, a little frisson of good feelings when they realize that someone else is now In On The Joke.
It not only makes the original joke funnier, it gets funnier the more often it's used.
This, and You Are One Of Today's Lucky 10,000 are very much things I love about Tumblr culture, yes!
Twenty-one tons of potatoes are up for grabs at Potato Palooza on Monday.
The nonprofit’s set to receive a donation of 21 tons of tubers this weekend from suppliers in the Midwest. Hoping to get the starchy vegetables to people in need, the nonprofit will host a “Potato Palooza” event on Monday in Park Hill. “Anyone is welcome to come. They can bring tote bags, wagons, you could back up your pickup truck if you wanted to,” Hissong said. The event is 9 a.m. to noon at the Park Hill Food Recovery Hub, 6090 East 39th Avenue, on July 27.
This is the dream
🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️
People near Denver, Colorado.
Potato alert. Potato alert.
Free food. Unlimited free potatoes.
Potato alert.
🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️
This concludes this broadcast of the emergency potato system.
it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao
like so much of Everything today is premised on the idea that the earth-shattering catastrophe which happened within living memory of everyone older than a third grader has had no meaningful material or psychological effects on the general public and i don't think that's good, lol.
"(some of) the top-line economic indicators (sorta) recovered (in most places) so everything is fine and we don't need to talk about it" is not a sustainable framework for interfacing with reality
"why is everyone so angry and paranoid now?" "why is politics so dysfunctional now?" "why is [x] [y] and [z] now? blah blah blah"
2020: