Kevin Tran Advanced Placement

26. San Diego. Don’t make people into heroes, John. Heroes don’t exist, and if they did, I wouldn’t be one of them.

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

Apparently Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth just got hitched, and congratulations to them. But this is the first time I've seen Cyrus in a while and I'm shocked she looks human again. Whatever the hell she was doing these last few years is gone and she looks a lot more like she did when she was younger, but healthier. Good for her.

The demon jumped ship into Katy Perry.

Let me demonstrate 

Era One: Miley is not possesed

Era Two: Miley is possessed by the Unknown Demon

Contact: Miley comes into close contact with Katy Perry

Transfer: Uknown Demon makes leap into Perry

Recovery: Miley recovers from possession

First Murder: Katy Perry, Possessed, proceeds to kill a Nun via stress in a legal battle over the purchase of a convent

This concludes my lecture on the rampant demon problem in Pop Music circles. 

[princessofbadvibes]

This is…quite convincing…

[sagihairius]

miss job hunting back in the day when you could just ride into town on a horse and be like “i’m a doctor” and everybody was like “cool no need to see if that checks out or anything”

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

This post has big John mulaney energy

[dankmemeuniversity]

[neyruto]

the other day at work, I met a man who I think was 100% a werewolf. he was very charismatic but in a weird way and it was cold but california cold and he had on a very large fur coat and flannel underneath with a single huge tooth on a necklace? he even had sharp canine teeth that did that thing that anime boys do and poke out a little when he smiled?? I saw him for 5 seconds but he was very beautiful and was buying raw meat.

[neyruto]

I failed to mention I work at a pet store so buying raw meat “for your dog” is a perfect cover

[meowlingquimm]

I feel like you also described Jason Mamoa. So Jason Mamoa is 100% a werewolf

[huffylemon]

[asthebelltolls]

One time, I had a dream that I was making peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, and most of them were the regular measurements in cups and stuff. But at the end of the recipe, instead of saying “2.5 cups of chocolate chips” it said “627 chocolate chips.”

So when I woke up, I made some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. And instead of measuring out chocolate chips, I counted them (and suffered a lot of odd looks from my family for it).

Well, it turns out that 627 chocolate chips is the amount that the recipe called for (2.5 cups). Not only that, but 627 was the exact amount of chocolate chips that we had left in the house.

[a-lil-strawberry]

Forbidden knowledge was granted you that night

[afro-elf]

(white) people on my aou post: aou isn’t that bad, what about ragnarok???

me: i don’t? understand? what the fuck? you mean? 

[afro-elf]

oh we’re still doing this “ragnarok made thor and loki look stupid” thing

[afro-elf]

things ragnarok did:

- reinvent thor as being a more relatable and fun character with a far more extensive power set as well as making him the star of his own goddamn movie for once without worry about some other character overshadowing him and established that his arcs from the first two movies were realized in the form of him assuming control of his powers on odin’s level – asserting his ultimate worthiness 

- introduce valkyrie

- give heimdall more than two minutes of screentime

- destroy asgard

- reintroduce hulk with the ability to speak and show emotion beyond smashing things

- fuck colonialist lives! korg is skinny!

- contain good and funny jokes

- was directed by the mcu’s first director of color

- fix loki’s sad broody boy problem

- make fun of thor: the dark world 

[afro-elf]

ragnarok is one of the best marvel movies for the “prisoners with jobs” joke alone, fuck y’all, unclench

[animedads-deactivated20210108]

In gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife)

[bardstardish]

a guy walked into the cafe earlier. he was wearing what looked like an expensive orange turtleneck, and had his hair styled up like an anime character and honestly he looked like he was having a great time. anyway he came up and ordered, and i gave him a table number and said i’d bring his order over shortly. he smiled and went over to his table. when his coffee was ready, i took it over to him and set it on the table and said that i hope he enjoyed the coffee and that he has a good day. he thanked me for being really nice to him, and that he isn’t used to being treated like this because he gets a lot of strange looks from people. i told him that it was no problem, and that i thought his turtleneck looked really nice on him. as i went to walk away, he stopped me and said ‘you’re really nice, so i want to let you in on a secret’. at this point i looked up towards my coworkers, who were motioning for me to go back over to them, but at the same time i really wanted to know what the secret was, so i politely said ‘uh, sure’. he seemed fairly trustworthy. it was a public place anyway, so he couldn’t really do anything. anyway. he proceeded to turn away from the other customers and just fucking…took the top of his turtleneck off. he explained that he cut the bottom of this long shirt and added velcro to the ends of it to make it a turtleneck. he held it in his hands and said ‘i’m a liar. everyone thinks it’s a turtleneck. but it isn’t. it’s great to have dumb secrets.’ and then put the fabric back around his neck and thanked me for his coffee again. i’m kind of scared now. what does this man know? 

[lavendarjevil]

What a fantastic energy to have in life

[toastbutteregg]

i dont know what i read but im weirdly pleased

[straightmansummer]

my spotify algorithm: finally!! I know what music you like!

me: (listens to “Take Me Home, Country Roads” for an hour)

my spotify algorithm:

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i love those times when we get glimpses into emily’s social life and it is so clear that she is the lorelai of her friend group

[hotvampireadjacent]

what

[anthropofagy-deactivated2021041]

why does florida have a zombie alert system

[meowlingquimm]

Because that one guy on bath sts that everyone thought was a zombie. And being florida and all...checks out to be a good backuo

[tastefullyoffensive]

[hedgehog1029]

me irl

[amateur]

in sixth grade you were either a cucumber melon bitch or a warm vanilla sugar bitch

[wizardshark]

the fuck does this mean

[dr-binchcraft]

this is japanese cherry blossom erasure

[wizardshark]

Hey y'all I still don’t know wtf this means

[meowlingquimm]

Where my Sweet Pea crew @

[hypable]

Dan Radcliffe addresses ‘Fantastic Beasts’ Johnny Depp controversy: ‘Harry Potter’ kicked someone out for weed

Harry Potter star Dan Radcliffe has issued some criticisms against Warner Brothers and the film’s production team for continuing to employ Johnny Depp despite the allegations made against the Grindelwald actor.

[rebelqueenofferelden]

“I suppose the thing I was struck by was, we did have a guy who was reprimanded for weed on the [original Potter] film, essentially, so obviously what Johnny has been accused of is much greater than that.”

[susiephone]

me @ danrad

[impuretale]

I appreciate that he’s just very “you fired a teenager for smoking weed but you’re going to defend a wife beater? Thanks for the job and everything but fuck all of you.” 

[it-started-over-drarry]

nothing but love and respect for MY Harry Potter

[parksandwreckreation]

why would they ever delete this scene

[badicarus-deactivated20200410]

people really came for hozier for his four year hiatus as if they have clocks in the woods

[badicarus-deactivated20200410]

me, rattling spoons in the wilderness: hozier come on it’s been four years

hozier, materializing from a tree: it what

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Your belly button is just your old mouth.

[virgoassbitch]

….

[acquaintedwithrask]

I was having a good day.  We were all having a good day.