Sep 30, 2021
Made a system side blog @cosmerecollective
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@anatomyofacosme
Made a system side blog @cosmerecollective
it's not clitor-YOU, it's clitor-US. take my hand.
Nobody likes my clit post it's just clitorme against the world :'(
When I was younger and more abled, I was so fucking on board with the fantasy genre’s subversion of traditional femininity. We weren’t just fainting maidens locked up in towers; we could do anything men could do, be as strong or as physical or as violent. I got into western martial arts and learned to fight with a rapier, fell in love with the longsword.
But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.
As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.
The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork. In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.
That can be so revolutionary to those of us stuck in our towers who fall prey to thinking: Nobody would want to visit; nobody would want to listen; nobody would want to stay.
#it’s so so important to remember that representation is not one-size-fits-all#what is empowering to one person might be exhausting and oppressive to someone else#some people need stories about having the strength to save themselves#some people need stories about being considered worthy of being saved#some people need inspiration for their independence while others need validation that they don’t have to be able to do everything themselves#before you lash out against something PLEASE stop to consider:#is this inadequate and/or damaging representation?#or is it just something I don’t personally relate to? [X]
It’s been half a decade and I still haven’t found an articulation of the complexity of “representation” as concisely and precisely mindblowing as @hungrylikethewolfie’s here.
MY MOM SAW A CYBERTRUCK IN HER CITY SO SHE CALLED TO TELL ME ABOUT "THE UGLY CAR SOME GUY WELDED TOGETHER" ADFFHGYJGUHGHGGHGGHGGHHGHGG
SHE THOUGHT HE MADE IT IN HIS GARAGE
drawing him is my saving grace
i've decided i'm going to learn more about yellow-headed blackbirds than anyone else. this is a strange and almost juvenile-sounding goal but no one seems particularly interested in studying them. if you try to search for information on them or certain behaviors you get the generic field mark and blurb guides, a few paywalled academic articles, and... posts by me, funnily enough. i just made a separate blog for my bird photography, but expect another at some point specifically focused on my documenting the colony of these birds that i now visit weekly.
i'm not a spiritual person, nor do i believe in the prophetic power of dreams, but i do think they serve as important windows into our fears and motivations and i think it says something that the only time i have actively photographed a bird in my dreams it was indeed a yellow-headed blackbird.
look at my blackbirds boy
the more i read about these birds the more insane i feel. i think the isolation of this tiny marsh might actually be doing some galapagos shit to the blackbirds there because everything from their vocalizations to their nesting habits completely eschews known data.
did you know that they are capable of imitation? don't worry! apparently no one else does either, but i have personally overheard them doing terrible approximations of not only red-winged blackbird songs, but also rooster crowing, ring-necked pheasant squawking, and what i now believe to be an eastern meadowlark song (which i have captured on video, something about which no one gave a fuck!!)
they are supposed to be drawn to marshes with deep water, over which multiple females will weave nests in single male controlled territories of typically 1k to 6ksqft. the waters of this marsh are wading depth, and the males control micro-territories of what cannot be more than 500sqft each-- territories that they share neutrally with marsh wrens.
this marsh is the last surviving 50 acre oasis of wetland in what used to be hundreds of miles of it, now turned into farmland. yellow headed blackbirds have been migrating across this continent for over 100,000 years according to fossil records. how does one compromise with their instincts telling them to travel a specific, ancestral route that looks and feels nothing like what their genetic memory tells them? they adapt, or they disappear, and a bird like this could never accept silence. i don't think.
I don't know how or why, but sometimes a species reaches out to you to be its caretaker and you just gotta answer the call.
RYAN GOSLING AS RYLAND GRACE & LIONEL BOYCE AS CARL | PROJECT HAIL MARY (2026)
very 🥰🥰🥰 when musicians leave bits in songs where they're saying 'is this thing on?' or 'it's still recording y'know.' chairs scraping, retuning guitars, saying 'let's do that bit again', 'was that take any good?'
Some things never change
Game Changer 8x04 "Kangaroo Court"
idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they could make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.
I should have bought it tbh
my dear friend just looked up from the hat she's crocheting for a very large spherical rock we found in the river and said, in a slightly haunted tone that revealed this was the first time she was having this thought, "i should make something for my cousin's real human baby"
who needs a real human baby when you could have rock son with jaunty hat
"I don't have a choice, I'm just following orders"
Have you considered smoking one (1) joint?
Like, it truly is that easy to not go do atrocities
"I'll get dishonorably discharged"
Okay at least you wont be killing innocents in the name of imperialism
"I'll go to jail"
Okay so you'd rather go and kill innocent people to avoid a little prison time? You could just go to jail rather than go do atrocities
if Taylor Swift Updates (legend, icon) can do this then so can you
Also icymi: you're gonna have to do more than just smoke a joint to dodge the military now
Change raises age limit from 35 and removes barrier for entry for recruits who have a legal conviction for cannabis
You still can get out by smoking one (1) joint, you just aren’t disqualified from enlisting if you have a weed conviction.
new job
at some point during high school i drew a centaur girl with large breasts because i wanted to draw a character that looked like me, and my biofamily got real upset about it. "why are they so large" because mine are that large. "wouldn't that make it hard for her to run" interesting that you think that but keep trying to make me run. "don't draw things like this, it's morally bad" ok i and my apparently inherently pornographic body will just be over here trying to avoid being looked at
this is not to say porn is bad, tbc. i just wasn't a fan as a teenager of being treated like it was impossible to look at bodies like mine non-sexually. frankly i'm not a fan of it now either lmao. i keep kind of thinking about how so many female protagonists are canonically flat or small-chested girls/women who textually wish they had larger breasts, but i can't remember the last time i encountered a protagonist with large breasts where that fact wasn't meant to be sexual. what is up with that dynamic and how do i destroy it
it's like... in order to be accepted as a woman, the character has to desire the idealized form of The Perfect Woman (or if she's a #feminist, reject and detest that same idealized form, but the focus on it is often still there). but in order to be a non-pornographic protagonist, she can't attain it. the moment you have a large enough chest you don't really get to be a normal character anymore, you have to go to sex world. idk. probably someone better read than me has written some sort of papers on this. idk what search terms to use though
