[slimetony]

hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over

[guddram-deactivated20180109]

Randy its been five minutes flip your sticks

[slimetony]

snnnnzzzzz

[guddram-deactivated20180109]

[dreg-heap]

10 years ago

[warcrimesimulator]

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[noah-wyles]

all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again

[fluoritegalaxy]

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

[unfuckablebogtroll]

[kosmogrl]

who else up beating dead horses

[restinpiss]

The feeling of picking your skin is infinitely more euphoric than any fidget toy

[treecitysessions]

The thing about how you will talk like a tumblr user for the rest of your life is that usually people won’t clock it but sometimes you’ll meet someone and you’ll actually be able to see a look of painful recognition in their eyes when you say some tumblypoo bullshit while everyone else just thinks you had an epic original thought. And it’s gonna make you a little bit sorry you were born

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you deserve a life you aren’t constantly recovering from

[toddsolondz]

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

[kleeklutch]

[rikusqueenofhearts]

[vaspider]

As always, Happy Pride to Mama Lynn.

[kosmogrl]

[achillesinhighheels]

[doctor-roman]

You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these

[ehentalix]

I'd leave. This is a sign that my opponent has the most fucked up unethical spells imaginable, and I am not about to be subject to Malchezar's Piercing Prostate Bomb or something

[lulu0zyx]

plot twist L was actually gonna choose matt the whole time

[egberts]

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

[unalivejournal]

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you