the life and times of a mad hatter

been on here too long.. 26f

[artmagine]

The beautiful art of Thomas Blackshear II

[kingfucko]

i went to his website and saw even more great art! sharing some more which i particularly appreciated

[slavery]

[macbethz]

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

[seananmcguire]

BURN BAGEL BURN

[gothiccharmschool]

OH WHY NOT?

[harukami]

I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

[acabosetotal]

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

[token-white-friend]

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

[noodle-dragon]

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

[tentacles-and-coffee]

Let’s see what you can do bagel

[ankle-beez]

sheep detectives is finally out on digital which means i can show you guys one of the funniest movie scenes of the year so far

[jehovahhthickness]

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

[jehovahhthickness]

Okay inflation is crazy.

We bumping up the price to $15,000 for 2026.

[writing-prompt-s]

You’ve laughed and said “It would probably take a Girl smacking me with a poster saying ‘I like You’ for me to get the hint.” The next day, your best friend walks up to you and hits you on the head with a poster board that says ‘I like you’

[writing-prompt-s]

You are a deity newly ascended. Your predecessor has perished, and their domain (now yours) is in shambles. Instead of repairing it first, you went down to the world and did the dirty practical work instead of the grandiose, aloof things other deities do.

[transmascmarypoppins]

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

[cecilsrandomeverything]

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

[spacefinch]

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

[chatblancofficial]

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

[huewrite]

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

[gossamermouse]

this is not a place of honor

[jackviator]

[dinosaurana]

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you

[ohanjanian]

If these walls could talk, they’d speak in whispers. Vintage textures and timeless architecture.

[writing-prompt-s]

A demon has cursed you with the inability to have children or form a family, and as soon as you learn of this you went to tell the witch who you promised your firstborn child, as this clearly will prevent you from fulfilling your side of the deal.

[lilacandladybugs]

my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring

[lilacandladybugs]

*holds your head in my hands* im sorry i let you down

[xanemix]

Here’s some fossilized coral.

[lastoneout]

[cheese24k]

[forest-kiss-deactivated20160407]

I remember when I first watched this show, I played this part at least 5 times

[peopleareaproblem]

Narrator: “Water. Unlike other cats, long-haired Persians need regular baths to keep their luxurious coats healthy and fluffy. Reginald doesn’t care if he has a prize-winning coat. He just wants the ordeal to be over.”

Reginald: *meows in distress*

Narrator: Unfortunately for Reggie, there’s one last step. He’s about to learn that getting wet is nothing – compared to getting dry.”

♫ TRIUMPHANT FANTASY MUSIC ♪

@captioned-vines​

[showertimereminders]

REMEMBER TO TAKE A MAJESTIC SHOWER!

[ambiguousdog]

This is the money butt.

It only appears every 124078932423 posts. Reblog in 12 minutes, and money will make its way to you in the next 48 hours.

[corncobjelly]

money butt god bless

[justchisa]

I have never seen a money butt before

[erflump]

All hail Butt Money

[mortalsfool]

*le gasp* The money Butt?!?!

[writing-prompt-s]

uh mom you said this red string is attached to our soulmate. "Oh yes darling it's how I met your father." "Well then what does the blue and green strings mean?" "What their shouldn't be any other strings." "So by that I'm assuming I shouldn't have one on every finger in different colors."

[writing-prompt-s]

The bad news is that you have been abducted by aliens. The good news is that you've been abducted by the alien equivalent of Steve Irwin, who has decided to make you the subject of an alien nature documentary.

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[aniseandspearmint]

"I love you. ...That was for the potatoes, not for you."

[potato-murderer]

I am now in debt to someone I have never met before

[potatofacts]

If you did this to a human they wouldn’t like it but potatoes aren’t even remotely scared of this

[love-and-monsters]

The shipwreck was obviously not expected. You don't go out on a ship expecting to to go down unless you're suicidal or an idiot.

It's just that the merman is so unexpected it makes the shipwreck feel passe.

He (he? You're assuming because he has a flat chest, but it's not like there's any other indicators) pulled you out of the wreckage, which was terrifying. One minute you were bobbing along in the waves, the next second there was a hand closing around you, and because you were very much not expecting a hand, you spent a bit of time assuming it was a mouth.

The lack of swallowing clued you in eventually. And then you were being dragged through the water, pulled along until you thought your lungs would burst from lack of air and finally, finally, you were dumped onto shore.

You were rescued by a merman. You don't think he knows what to do with you next.

He seems aware that people need land, because he deposited you onto- okay, calling is an 'island' is generous. It's more like a sandbar. There are a few sparse grasses. There's a large rock, whose shadow you have to chase during the day to avoid sunburn. There's sand. There's nothing else.

You avoided drowning. Now you're going to die of dehydration.

"I need water," you tell him. It's been a little more than a day and you feel terrible. Your mouth cracks when you try to speak.

He cocks his head at you. There's no comprehension in his enormous eyes. And they are, like the rest of him, enormous. His hand is big enough for you to sit comfortably in its palm. His hair (is it hair? It looks like thick hair, but you've seen it twitch and move on its own) is long. His face is pretty, despite the dark, liquid eyes and the mouth full of sharp teeth.

"Water," you repeat at him. It's no use. He can't understand you. He just tilts his head the other way. To his credit, he seems to understand you're upset.

He pushes away from the shore. His tail comes up (it's a really beautiful tail--all blue and white scales, with a fin like stained glass, just a little bit of red at the tip) and with a powerful stroke, he vanishes underwater.

You sort of hope he'll come back. He's useless, but you don't want to die alone.

[love-and-monsters]

You have to tell time by the sun now, and you're not very good at it. But you think it's an hour or so before his head breaks the surface again.

You startle upright. Half of you was convinced you'd been abandoned. But here he is, massive face close to the shore. He's grinning. His face is also stained with something dark.

You only have a second to think about what it might be when the source slaps onto the island in front of you.

It's a tentacle. It takes you a second to recognize that, because the tentacle is larger than your body.

He grins at you, hair plastered to his face, grinning hopefully. When you don't move, he pushes the tentacle further up the beach toward you.

It's oozing from one end. It doesn't smell great. Your throat convulses over a dry swallow. You'd cry, but there's not enough liquid in your body to manage it.

You take several steps down the beach and collapse. You don't bother to lift your head out of the sand. You are so fucked.

He looks between you and the tentacle. Several times. With each repetition, his expression falls more. He starts making a soft, anxious clicking noise, almost like a dolphin as he swims closer, almost beaching himself in the process.

"Water," you tell him. He doesn't comprehend. His hands come out, and you're too weak to try to fight as he gathers you up. His thumb strokes along the length of your body, delicate and gentle.

He clicks. Maybe you're reading too much into it, but it sounds worried.

One of the hands moves away. That's fine, you're secure in his palm. When it comes back, it's holding a tiny fragment of the tentacle meat.

Using the delicate tips of his claws, he presses it against your lips. You open instinctively, then gag as the meat goes in. Then you retch.

The clicking grows louder, more worried. The hands bring you up, cradling you against his cheek. Then he lifts you, places you on top of his head. The strange hair tendrils shift, layering over you like a seat belt.

You hear a massive splash as his tail impacts the water. Then starts to glide through the water.

The rhythmic splash of his tail and the rocking of the waves has you drifting out of consciousness in moments.

[emmhauer]