What advice would you give post birth?

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KIROKAZE

Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
Monterey Bay Aquarium
trying on a metaphor
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Peter Solarz

@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
Stranger Things
d e v o n
dirt enthusiast
Mike Driver
NASA
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macklin celebrini has autism

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seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from China
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seen from United States

seen from Japan
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seen from South Africa

seen from Türkiye
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@miecamiu
What advice would you give post birth?
geistygeist:
theelderscrotes:
when u gently put ur ear close to ur cat and u hear their motor running…. thats a fine engine, no problems here
A well-tuned cat. All eight cylinders firing together.
what you think your theme says: minimalist. aesthetic. simplistic small font.
what your theme actually says: this is a blog for ants. no humans can read this. zoom is impossible because only ants are supposed to read this blog. i like giving people headaches
20,000 notes. Twenty thousand notes. That is at least ten thousand other salty blind people that are sick and tired of squinting to read shitty pastel anime ant blogs. My whining has struck some intense chord with the Internet, and the general opinion is clear:
The only people who like tiny ass ant blogs are the ones who never have to read them. If you ever want someone else to read your blog without having to change their monitor settings and glue their pupils to the screen, change your damn theme
Telling other girls that they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship
say out loud every nice thought you have
The other day at school, I told a girl I liked her umbrella, and it surprised her so much, that she loudly blurted “they’re on sale at Target!!!” and it was just funny and cute.
Yesterday I was boarding my plane home and I just had to tell the stewardess that I loved her hair! Glorious, multicolored curly natural afro and just as I’m telling her she stops me and tells me how much she loves my jacket.
#girls complimenting other girls 2015
👩❤️👩
SAY OUT LOUD EVERY NICE THOUGHT YOU HAVE
Women uplifting other women 2k16
#GirlLove Campaign Challenges You To End Girl-On-Girl Hate
harry potter [part 2] | text posts
Since you're drunk, I think now is the perfect time to tell a story on tumblr. Would you like to tell one of the shark stories or explain why you're terrified of swans?
FUCK. OKAY. So first thing frist I’m changing everyone’s name because these guys are my friends and I already messed one gy up because I drunkenly told this story to his cousin and now she holds it over him.
Anywyas this story is pretty fucking appropriate because we were drunk like 900% of the time when we were all living together so oviously I should tell it while drunk.
Anyways I used to be in a band. Im not telling ou our name because we suked. But ;yeahwe all lived together in this awesome ass aartment. It was this fukcing rad apartment that our landlord used to live in. It was literally the fifth floor of our building and it was the BEST. We fucking ruined that place.
Someone remind me to talk about the roommate that would drill holes in his wall after parties. Pr the kitchen fires. Or the fireworks. Or the time we made our neighbor set his bathroom on fire. Or the jakuzi that alkmost electrocuted our fired. We fucked up a lot there.
Anyways I had this one roommate well call him Paul. Paul was a fucking stock genius he works at a firm now but he made like $20k a year in college because he just fucking new how the market would go. He had somuch fucking cash and he was so fucking nice if you were short on rent or couldn’t afford food he’d spot you no questions I fucking love him full homo bvut only if he wants it Consent is important kids.
So yea Paul had mad cash but Paul also had a fucking problem. I mean we al had problems but Pauls problem was online shopping. Motherfucker loved online shopping. But only when he was drunk, and alwasy some crazy shit. Dude has like 3900 pairs of fucking nockoff wayfarers because he once bought a 4k box because bro you lose some you gotta have some spares you know? (I just rolled my eyes and it made me dizy and pukey don’t do that)
So befoer we all moved in together Paul was dating this girl. Total sweetie she really cared about him they ere fuking adorable as fuck. Any night we went out partying and she was with us she could stop him from doing stupd by distracking him with sexy. The problem was nights when she couldn’t go out with us because he woud do something stupid and buy some shit we never stopped him because he was a fucking ebay ninja. But his girlfriend would alway check his browser history when she came over nest to see if he bouth anything stupid. She go tmad at him about buying 60 shits online that weren’t even his size so he started to delete his browser history when he drunk shopped because he didn’t want her to get mad. Anyways they broke up it was super sad like they’re still pretty close but they just knew they weren’t going to work out you know like when youre dating someone and they like have different life goals fromou yeah that was what’s up.
So yeah when we all moved in together Paul was deleting his browser history when he bought shit so we never knew he bought something until it fucking showed up at our place. THis is one of those fucking times.
So I come home from class and outside our apartment is a UPS truckand not like one of the normal UPS trucks like a fucking trucker truck this shit is massive and there’s’ two dudes in front of our bjuilding with this bosx tha’ts bigger than the both of them combined and I’m just like oh fucking no please dear god please baby jesus no and they’re like are you Paul and I literally swore at the sky I don’t even bleive in god I was just so fucking mad fuck. So I sign for the package because I’m only mostly a douche not a complete douche so anyways this box is 8 ft loong 3 ft tall and 4 ft wide it’s fucking big
So our apartment on the fifth floor the only two ways to get to it were an elevator and our fire escapes and I wasn’t getting this shit inside alone so I literally sit on our stoop for an hour until two of my roommates show up and they go get a rope and we fucking make this bullshit pulley sistem to pull it up to our balcony and then we barely get it in and we’re standing in our living room like three dicks just staring at this box because it’s addressed to “fukc you” but it’s our apartment on the label so it clearly belongs to someone or someone’ mailed us a comically large bomb and ewre all going to die. So two more assholes show up and they’re just as confused and thena couple girlfriends showed up and suddenly there’s 7 people in this apartment staring at a box like what is this shit.
So Paul gets home and sure fucking enough it’s his fucking box. So he goes and gets a box cutter and opens that fucker up and holy shit we were unprepared for what was inside.
So totally related fun fact: if you catch a shark you can’t keep it. However you can take pictures and measure it and take them to those people that stuff dead things I forget their names anyways you take them to these guys and they will make you a fiberglass replica of the shark and you can mount that fucker up on your wal all day long fuck yeah.
So Paul opens this box and starts digging through the fucking packing peanuts and he makes this face because he’s just caught something and he pulls up a fucking fiberglass shark by it’s FUCKING MOUTH and all of us are just like what in the everloving fuck is going on and he’s just like oh so that’s what I bought like literally NO FUCKING REACTION TO THE FUCKING SHARK HE IS HOLIND BY THE MOUTH. So yeah we all kinda laugh it off and we’re like this is going up in here this is awesome and he just looks at us with the most serious face ever and he’s like no this is going up in my room and we all laugh because how the fuck is that going to work but then he drags the fucker down the hall and forces it through his doorway and we’re all like okay and everyone goes to their room to either study or fuck and that’s all I hear about it for like 2 months.
So jumping forward we’re moving out because some of the people in that apartment got real jobs and abandoned us anyways we’re going around and looking at all of the damage we’ve caused and like holly shit someo f it is bad. We get to the kid next to Pauls room and I almost shit my pants.
Brad was the dude in the room next to Paul and let me tell you Brad was ALWAYS high like I bet good money his first words were bruh or some shit. Best bassist I’ve ever met though. Anyways, we get to Brad’s room and I walk in and staring directly at me is a fucking shark head. Aparenlty when Paul trie dhanging the Shark up he predictably got drunk first then also predictably got annoyed with how hard it was and smashed it through the wall. Brad probably didn’t notice for a week.
So I’m like what the fuck is this shit and Brad’s like oh yeah thats Duke like he named the fucking shark coming out of his wall.
So have any of you ever been to a frat party? Hae you ever heard a dude sk a girl if she wanted to see his fish tank? It was always bullshit but it was a reason for them to head back to his room and bone. That’s waht Brad was doing with this fucking shark. He would ask girls he was hitting on if they wanted to see a shark head and then they would smoke a bolw and fuck.
Anyways it takes all six of us to get this fucking shark out of the fucking wall and we find out our apartment is’nt up to code because there’s literally one stud in the wall anyways whatever not important because we broke the fucking shark and Paul cried and we all agreed to never live together ever again because we were drunken messes.
read it. read it all.
this aired on network television in 1990.
The first cats of spring emerge
A solar eclipse and the Milky Way seen from the ISS
I am practically in tears over how beautiful this image is.
same. i promise i teared up a little….
When they said it might sing, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
I think my dinner is possessed.
THAT IS NOT A “HUMMING NOISE”
I wasn’t gonna reblog this at first but then the “well then” at the end cracked me up
Just hug it out. Just a little man love. I’m not hugging it out with you.
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This is what happens there.
I can tell you.
ALRIGHT I’M A BIT LATE TO THIS POST BUT WHATEVER
THIS MAN IS BRIAN KIDD AND HE GOES BY THE UNIPIPER AND HE IS THE ABSOLUTE SHIT. IN 2005 WHILE STUDYING MARINE BIOLOGY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA, HE WAS LEARNING TO PLAY THE BAGPIPES AND FOUND A UNICYCLE IN A DUMPSTER. SO WHAT DOES HE DO? HE TAKES THE UNICYCLE AND LEARNS HOW TO RIDE IT. IN 2007 HE IS WORKING AT A PAID INTERNSHIP AT AN AQUARIUM IN THE OUTER BANKS OF NORTH CAROLINA. HE IS PERFORMING AT WEDDINGS AS A BAGPIPER BECAUSE, SURPRISE SURPRISE, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE FOR HIRE. ONE NIGHT HIM AND HIS MARINE FRIENDS ARE GETTING DRUNK AND HE THINKS “would it be cool if I rode a unicyle AND played bagpipes? shit I mean I guess” AND HE DID IT. ALSO THIS MAN JUST SO HAPPENS TO HAVE A FRIEND WHO REALLY LIKES FIRE. SO THEY GAVE HIM THE HOOK UP.
HE STARTS RIDING AROUND THE STRIPS IN THE EVENINGS AND IS LIKE “shit son I be making so much money”. AT THE END OF 2007 HE MOVED TO PORTLAND OR AND STARTED PERFORMING AT RESTAURANTS, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, AND FARMERS MARKETS
IN 2010 HE WAS LIKE “I’m gonna audition for America’s Got Talent. With a Darth Vader Mask. Playing the Imperial March”. BUT FUCKING SHOW DIRECTORS WERE LIKE “We don’t think we can get the rights for that song” SO HE HAD TO JUST DO HIS THING OF PLAYING BAGPIPES. DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT. NEXT YEAR, AUDITIONED IN SEATTLE WITH CHANGING HATS AND ROUTINES. STILL DIDN’T MAKE IT. HOWEVER THE INTERNET TOOK HIM BY STORM AND PORTLAND RECOGNIZES HIM AS OUR MASCOT. THIS GUY GOT MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE (her name is Sarah) IN A KILT BECAUSE “She has a thing for men in Kilts”
WHAT A BAMF.. (note:The mask was only for this picture, everything else was traditional)
HIS FIRST OUTFIT WAS SANTA, BUT HE IS MOST FAMOUS FOR DARTH VADER, AND AT ONE POINT UNIPIPED DOWN THE STREETS. DURING A FLOOD. AS GANDALF.
I WAS IN LINE FOR PORTLAND CITY COMIC CON LAST FEBRUARY. NEVER BEEN TO A COMIC CON, STANDING IN LINE ALONE IN MY SHITTY ASS COSPLAY. ALL THE FUCKING SUDDEN BAGPIPES START BLARING AND THIS MAN. THIS GLORIOUS MAN IN A DARTH VADER HELMET AND KILT, STARTS PLAYING THE BAGPIPES ON A UNICYCLE. HE JUST SHOWS UP AND STARTS WRECKING SHIT UP. HE STARTS WITH THE STAR WARS THEME, EVERYBODY GET HYPED. HE TAKES A BREAK FOR A MOMENT, GETS BACK ON, AND STARTS PLAYING THE PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN THEME. IN THIS GET UP. AND THAT’S WHEN THE FLAMES STARTED. SHIT WAS SO REAL. ALSO HE IS UBER HOT JUST LOOK AT HIM
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HE IS A BAMF AND WE LOVE HIM AND GOSH WHAT AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING. KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD, YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH.
HE IS THE BEST THOUGH I HAVE ONLY SEEN HIM ONCE. I WAS DOWNTOWN WANDERING AROUND WITH SOME PEEPS AND WE HERE THIS GLORIOUS SOUND OF BAGPIPES FROM LIKE 20 BLOCKS AWAY BECAUSE THOSE FUCKERS ARE LOUD. THEN THIS AWESOME SONOFABITCH COMES UNICYCLING DOWN LIKE A BOSS WITH HIS FLAMES. BEST DAY EVER
#YourDisneySideCantCompareToHis
@verafarmigaisqueen : lmao, yes! that was one of the best bits! Does anyone else have a favorite bit or highlight from The Rashomon Job?
marvelsagentsofsuperwholock & madammistress, already done babes!
Cross Whedonverse universal slayer theory (taken from x and separated so it actually shows on your dash)
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dead*
Well, god damn.
ALL THE GOOSEBUMPS!