???

30 l polyam l sapphic ace | tw: @_MiGuo

[critterfloozy]

With Thaisha - part of me wants to praise Aabria for being willing to play a mother who has other priorities, but part of me feels like that's being condescending - it shouldn't be remarkable. I don't think it's even a flaw of Thaisha's, or that it even makes her a 'bad mom', it's just having a core conflict and regrets.

I also think there's a little bit of a disservice done when we look at marginalized creators - especially creators who are doubly marginalized - and call them brave for like. Creating someone with any type of facet or depth of character. Yes, they're going to get a disproportionate amount of shit for it, but they'll also get that no matter what. It's a bit othering.

(It also reminds me of the game 'is this a depiction of race/class/colonialism that we would never get on network TV or a plot from Deep Space Nine', in that people deem stories that deal with oppression as impossible to tell, ignoring evidence to the contrary)

In any case, I'm so glad she decided to play Thaisha because this is my shit. I love thinking about moms who have other priorities outside of motherhood but also don't reject being a mother outright, and what that means for the family. It's a delicious conflict! I love it in Veth, I love imagining what it would have meant for Vilya and Constance - to have had to leave their children behind for a greater cause, only to find out, decades later, that their children have inherited that cause. And I love thinking about the fallout with the Temults, even though that one has a whole other cult dimensionality to it. It's a delicious conflict that doesn't require anyone to be stupid or evil, just human (or half elf or firbolg). (more under the cut)

(I'm not a mother - I'm not ever going to ever have children, the family reason why I'm invested in this has more to do with my own mother and grandmother, so it's going in a footnote*)

I find the decision to make Thaisha so loving fascinating - she chose not to prioritize her family because she loved so much. She just loved the world and felt responsibility for helping to reshape it. But that doesn't take away her regret that she couldn't manage to be in two places at once. We as a society tend to hold up motherhood as the most loving that someone can be - and Thaisha is who she is because motherhood was not enough to hold all of her love for the world.

But nobody can claim that she doesn't love her children. Is Thaisha messy? Sure - she referred to Occtis as her son in front of her actual factual daughter, and I don't think her regrets came out of nowhere. Shadia doesn't like it when she takes unnecessary risks. But I kind of hate the moniker bad mom for her, because … is she? Her kids were well taken care of with Hal as the main parent and they're great at coparenting. If her daughter has any resentment over her not being there, she's taking it well. If Hal and Thaisha's genders were reversed, we'd be praising Thaisha for being a great father. She was absent, and has regrets, and more messiness might come out later - we don't know how Alogar feels about everything. But I'm excited to see it.

I'm also excited to see how they cover Thaisha's relationship to the Druidic old way. Brennan and Aabria are both smart enough to know that a way of life cannot be suppressed for centuries without issues - in that cultural artifacts are often destroyed or only available for interpretation through the lens of their oppressors. And the oppressors can either lie outright for their own benefit or will have their own flawed view of the oppressed culture.** There's also the fact that oppressed cultures are still living cultures, and there's often a desire to 'purify' the culture by resetting the clock to before the oppression started is both impossible (you cannot forget) and wrongheaded (the culture prior to occupation was not perfect, in that no culture is perfect).

Is some of this a little spicy? Maybe - but in the 'never seen on Network TV or DS9 episode' game, this is definitely a DS9 episode. And I'm looking forward to it. * So the story goes that my grandmother already had a budding career in journalism when she moved to the big city after World War II, but found that city newspapers were less welcoming to hiring women to do anything but write for the society pages. So instead, she became a teacher - and because she knew Spanish, she got a job teaching English as a second language to the growing Mexican population.

Only she found out that while she spoke Spanish, many of her Mexican students did not - they were largely indigenous. So, instead, she set out to learn their languages.

By which I mean she got a doctorate in linguistic Anthropology focusing on Uto-Aztecan languages. Grandma didn't fuck around.

But she was also the sort of person who would tell her son's wife - my mother - to hold off having children because they'll prevent you from doing what you want with your life. On my mother's wedding day. In front of my father. Who had always held the opinion that having kids didn't stop my grandmother from doing anything, and she did spend years of my father's childhood doing field research in Mexico.

My own mother was a social worker for forty years, and I think the baggage that might be involved in that may be self evident.

** And yes, I'm including my grandmother, who I believe had the best of intentions, in this.

[feyspeaker]

Sir Julien Davinos (not another knight character I'm going to go cuckoo for please...)

[jettixxs]

И снова эта прекрасная пара, не перестаю любить их даже спустя месяцы🥹❤️

[littlecakeclub]

The Matriarch Isn’t the Villain. She’s the Mirror

I often hear a discourse where Celine in K-pop Demon Hunters, Alma in Encanto and Ming in Turning Red are seen as vilains. They’re the ones who restricted the younger generation, hurt them, and are ultimately responsible for their pain, trauma and self-doubt. They’re framed as the real villains of the story. But I’d like to differ.

These are stories of intergenerational trauma. They are women who survived, repressed, and tried to protect their families the only way they knew how: through control, perfectionism, and emotional suppression.

And yet, when the next generation begins to reclaim joy, freedom, softness — they become the obstacle. Not because they’re bad people, but because they’re scarred. Their minds cling to survival strategies, unable to recognize that the environment has changed.

Alma is still stuck fleeing the colonizers.

Ming is still afraid of her true self.

Celine believes that fear and mistakes must be hidden.

It’s not about hating these characters. It’s about how unprocessed trauma twists love into control. How survival, unexamined, turns into rigidity. These women were never given space to process their own pain and they project it onto their daughters and granddaughters.

And here’s something we rarely say enough: intergenerational trauma can create toxic patterns but that doesn’t always mean there was abuse or conscious harm. Even when their love becomes suffocating or controlling, these women are not necessarily “abusive parents.” They are daughters of silence, fear, and sacrifice. And they were never taught another way. It’s important to make that distinction, especially in a world that often pushes a binary, punitive reading of family dynamics.

They’re the product of a generation that was told to endure. But endurance without healing becomes its own kind of violence.

What’s powerful in these stories is that they don’t end in vengeance. They end in confrontation and transformation. The confrontation is necessary: the younger generation refuses the silence. Refuses the shame. Refuses to carry a burden that wasn’t theirs to begin with.

The house is destroyed in Encanto.

Mei accepts her full self.

So does Rumi.

And in the best cases, this confrontation allows the elder to soften too. Alma opens up. Ming listens. And I’m hoping in the sequel, Celine will open too.

Maybe that’s also why these stories speak so deeply to POC audiences. These aren’t stories about cutting ties. They’re stories about how hard it is to transform them, to protect ancestral bonds while refusing to perpetuate inherited pain. In many racialized families, collectivity, loyalty, and intergenerational duty are sacred... even when they come at the cost of personal boundaries.

And sometimes, Western individualist frameworks read these tensions as dysfunction or villainy. But for us, they’re just the difficult truth of growing up and trying to do better.

These women aren’t villains. That would be too easy. They embody the fragile, necessary work of bringing change without breaking the thread. These stories are about refusing to inherit their pain without reflection. Because love, without accountability, is not enough.

These stories show us that each generation has something to learn from the next. And the new generation must also break free from the chains they inherited while preserving what is meaningfull.

But it’s not just their story.

One day, we’ll be the older generation.

And we’ll need to be humble enough to learn from the ones after us.

So don’t be a fool.

We may be Mei, Rumi, or Mirabel today.

But tomorrow, we could be Ming, Celine, or Alma.

And when that time comes, we’ll realize how hard it is to unlearn what once kept us safe.

So let’s have compassion for all these characters.

Because these stories show us not just how the cycle of generations works, but how it can make us better, stronger, and more connected... if we’re all willing to go through the change.

∘₊✧──────✧──────✧₊∘

If you’re curious, I’ve written more on K-pop Demon Hunters:

A post on the mental health themes woven through the songs — right here.

A breakdown of Celine-Rumi in comparaison to Gothel–Rapunzel dynamic — here.

An analysis about Rumi, Jinu, and the danger of sinking together — here.

Some book recs for each of the K-pop Demon Hunters characters — here.

[fishy-my-wishy]

YES. I hate seeing these characters hated so much when it’s obvious people have never experienced anything like that or that their hatred for the people that have restricted them end up blinding them to the complexities and the pain these characters have

[wishful-seeker]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[yashley]

"See? See! I don’t have it anymore! It’s gone! What I had, it left!"

[memewhore]

[iminthetunnels]

ur future nurse is using chapgpt to glide thru school u better take care of urself

[lucyaudley]

Yep. This is terrifying. I’ve caught nursing majors, engineering majors, architecture majors relying on ChatGPT to do their homework. These are people who need to know their field well to ensure people don’t die and they’re letting a glorified algorithm cheat them through school. It’s so dangerous

[redwinterroses]

hey. hi. I work in academia. and there are a lot of student-age folks on this site.

don't do this. don't use genAI. even if your professors give you permission. even if they ask for it or suggest it. if they do anything short of directly requiring it (and I weep, because I've already seen assignments that require it) don't touch that crap. if they do require it, stick it to them. be as maliciously compliant as possible. be a nightmare.

I know it might sound easier right now -- just plug in your assignment and get the answers. you don't care about this class anyway, it's not for your major, you don't see the value of the assignment.

but for your own sake, for the sake of your education and mind, and for the sake of the future world we want to have: learn the stuff. you are not as stupid as the corporate bizzaro kings who want to rule the world think you are, so don't give them reasons to believe it.

and odds are good genAI is gonna give you corrupted info anyway -- more and moreso as the machines cannibalize themselves.

just don't do it. not even "I just do it for XYZ--" no. stop. there is no valid use of generative AI, and even using it for memes or lolz feeds the system and directly feeds the pockets of the people who want to replace you anyway.

[aaaaaadhd]

Rage reblogging this. Yesterday i got into an argument with one of my college friends who is using chatGPT to do all her work. We're psychology students. The whole group chat laughed my arguments off as if they didn't matter because "she's an artist, of course she's anti-AI" and i had to deal with it. This is a warning. If your therapist graduated in 2023/2024, ask about their opinions on chatGPT. They might lie to you if you ask "did you use it to graduate" directly, but try to make jokes about it and play it cool. If they're into it, DROP OFF. FIND A NEW ONE. Do not trust your brain to someone who didn't bother to use theirs.

[maddiesharafian]

Oops, I never uploaded this one to Tumblr (which I only realized when someone else did, but then was kind enough to tag me, thank you)!

This is the comic that kickstarted my obsession with telling stories with as few panels as I could (usually 10-11 haha), so it’s got a soft spot in my heart. 

[official-kircheis]

[readingbibooks]

“Special attention needs to be given to the idea of ‘going through a phase’. It is based in (essentialism) and fails to acknowledge a great deal of sexual experience. Even if some people identify as bisexual as a transition from heterosexuality to homosexuality (and some certainly identify as lesbian or gay as a ‘transition’ from heterosexuality to bisexuality), that does not make the transitional sexuality any less real or valid. Transitions are a part of life, not just a dress rehearsal for it. They count as much as any other part, and are just as meaningful.”

- Amanda Udis-Kessler, Bisexual Horizons: Politics, Histories, Lives

[soberscientistlife]

[iric416]

Yes, AND Biden has not reinstated protections AND his administration silently removed germ testing

USDA cut back on listeria testing nationwide, ahead of deadly Boar's Head outbreak

Officials claim the changes "had no bearing" on Boar's Head's now-shuttered plant.

So it's BOTH.

Please always remember that it is, indeed, both.

[ruinedchildhood]

[cock-holliday]

I know there's the funny ha ha of a capitalist's worst nightmare of a product being too durable you don't need to replace it, but the situation is actually quite interesting to look into

https://www.reuters.com/business/retail-consumer/tupperware-brands-files-chapter-11-bankruptcy-2024-09-18/

A lot of articles tend to point towards a lack of "relevance" but ultimately that's not what is happening.

One of Tupperware's biggest hurdles is availability, not demand. They previously relied on independent sellers, down to individual independent sellers, like the Tupperware Parties of yore (people, usually women seeking financial independence from the 50s onward, would hold events to sell Tupperware to other suburban women -- similar to Avon). 2022 was the first year Tupperware could be found in places like Target. At All. Their exclusivity and middle(wo)men decreased their reach as the parties became less and less of a thing.

The next issue for Tupperware is in manufacturing. It only has a single US plant (which it now closed) and struggled post-(early)covid to pay for rising costs of plastic and transportation of materials.

THEN Tupperware got fucked by investors trying to make bank first on their success and then also on their failure as they got swept into "meme stock" betting, where inexperienced traders gamble on stock around jokes/irony.

So ultimately, Tupperware has failed to get with the times as it has always relied on suburban lady sales while countless imitation products hit shelves in places where working class people shop for cheaper and sometimes comparable products, the cost to make a good product went up and as Tupperware struggled, investors and gamblers who are addicted to Line Going Up cashed in on betting on their failure rather than success, and because Tupperware is so synonymous with plastic food storage, IP gremlins are more than delighted to crash and burn a company to get it on the cheap and turn it around to make the numbers go back up again.

Rather than a "oh the woe of durability" story, or lament that a product is not used anymore, this is an excellent microcosm of the vulturistic nature of capitalism.

‘The party is over’ as Tupperware files for bankruptcy after years of troubles | CNN Business

Tupperware, known the world over for its plastic food storage containers, has filed for bankruptcy after years of falling popularity and fin

[thepantyreckless]

How dare you read the article and add nuance to this headline upon which I may project my grossly uninformed postulations of Our Society and consumer behavior.

[swordsoprano]

LGBT:

Let’s

Get

Bitchin’

Tiramisu

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

fatphobia and ableism is so insidious. You can look up like, food, and it'll say "eating a lot of food causes diabetes" and you're like oh dang what? I thought we didn't know the cause of diabetes. So you look up what causes diabetes and it says "we still don't know what causes diabetes" bruh they're just making shit up to give people eating disorders

[aquilegiaformosa]

it’s becoming clearer that “being fat makes you diabetic” is actually misapplied observation and like, backwards cause and effect. insulin resistance is the main factor in type 2 diabetes. it was thought being fat made you insulin resistant. turns out it’s the other way round; insulin resistance causes the body to store fat at a greater rate. like yes, once the weight is gained it can then contribute more to resistance and things can snowball, but the initiating factor is not being fat.

[x-i-l-verify]

#type 1 is caused by no insulin production type 2 is caused by insulin resistance #and what causes the resistance or pancreatic damage is often uncertain #absolutely poor diet and lack of exercise can EXACERBATE EXISTING TYPE 2 DIABETES #but eating carbs and eating sugar will not give you diabetes; neither t1 or t2 #also keto is a fucking scam and a lie and puts people in the hospital on a regular basis

[the-perks-of-neurodivergency]

Also worth mentioning how hard it is to find good advice around healthy eating or exercise because almost all of the information available assumes your goal is to lose weight. So you'll find a hundred articles for how you can reduce calories, but nothing about how you can eat more vegetables while managing a budget and still feeling satiated. Because professionals assume your goal is to lose weight, not to feel better in your body. It's so incredibly frustrating.

[batwynn]

As a chronically Ill/disabled fat person who just got diagnosed with full blown diabetes:

They want to blame us, because then it’s our faults and they can feel good about themselves for ‘doing everything right’. That’s it.

Diabetes can’t ‘just happen’ because then it could happen to anyone. The same with every other illness and disability. If it can ‘just happen’ then this perfectly ‘healthy’, skinny person could do everything ‘right’ and still one day develop diabetes or other illnesses. They can’t handle that, so they pick at every little possible thing that a fat/ill/disabled person has ever done until they find that thing you supposedly did ‘wrong’ to cause this thing that they so desperately don’t want to happen to them.

And this goes for everyone, including doctors and other medical professionals because they have been taught this same thing. That there must be a reason this thing happened to a person, and it’s easier if it was their fault. To look for that thing the patient must have done wrong, because then you have the ‘answer’ and the blame. And then you, the medical professional, are not culpable for any misstatements, misunderstandings, misdiagnosis, that you have done or will do.

And the cycle will continue forever as long as self-proclaimed healthy, skinny people continue to live in fear of ever not being healthy, skinny people. Being fat and sick is one of the worst things they can ever imagine to happen, and it must be our faults because if not… if not then what horrible, terrible things to then happen to them and their precious bodies?

[kleenexwoman]

My risk for diabetes was really high in my early 20s because I have PCOS, which fucks up your insulin resistance.

I'm just as fat as I was then, but my A1C is absolutely fine because I have been on hormonal birth control for so long it's gotten balanced out.

I'm not even eating as well as I did back then, but I'm less at risk of diabetes than I was because my underlying hormonal imbalance has been managed.

[paulgadzikowski]

Being fat doesn't make you predisposed to having diabetes, being predisposed to diabetes makes you fat

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Sometimes I think that, in spite of all things the biological sciences have actually revealed about how our bodies actually work, the field of Western medicine remains just as superstitious as it was 600 years ago.

The teachings around the how of it all has changed, but not the underlying assumptions around the why of it all. It's still just as focused on purging the "sinner" of "evils" as it was when treatises on health were being written by Christian monks.

[lyn-yeah-that-one-deactivated20]

I think part of why people don't like to call PCOS and gynecomastica intersex is because it challenges the image of intersex people being super rare. We're more common than you think.

[animentality]